My Application for a C Permit

Dear Switzerland,

I would like to apply for my C Permit a year ahead of time because in four short years, I have become more Swiss than some Swiss. I realize this is not “the rule” and may involve special votes and über-democratic procedures, so here is my reasoning for your fellow citizens to consider:

-If a tram is one-minute late, I feel like I’m going to have a heart attack.

-I have personally dug out a Schweizer Familie Feuerstelle, buried under five-feet of snow, and proceeded to cook fondue over a wood fire to the amazement of passing Swiss snowshoers (see photo).

-I can now eat an entire cervelet in one sitting.

-When I’m invited somewhere, I now wait outside said person’s door until the nearest clock tower dings our agreed meeting time. And then I ring the bell one second later.

-Last year my gutters were so clean I could drink from them but I still went out and bought a SFr 6 bottle of water anyway.

-I often start capitalizing all English Nouns.

-I consider paying SFr 60 ($60) for dinner a “good deal.”

-I also consider a savings of 10% reason enough to run an advertisement in a newspaper.

-I have gone to two Tunnelfests.

-Finally, I make sure to crowd the door when a train arrives so that the people trying to get off the train can’t.

Anyhow, thanks for your consideration and I look forward to being one step closer to citizenship.

Herzliche Grüsse,

The Hausfrau

Now it’s your turn. Are you worthy of a C Permit? Prove it by leaving a comment below.