One Big Yodel

Study Fiction or Travel Writing in Zurich

2012-02-01T15:37:00.005+01:00

The Frau always gets a bit excited about writing workshops, especially when they’re in Zurich and she’s in charge of organizing them.

Anyone want to second my enthusiasm? Because for the third time in two years, there will actually be something in Zurich other than bankers, lawyers, and ladies who lunch. (All kidding aside, Zurich is a beautiful city and worth seeing--here's a Zurich travel article written by yours truly that proves it.)

Anyhow, this spring, the Zurich Writers Workshop will feature two British authors: award-winning novelist Sam North (The Old Country) and Switzerland’s bestselling English-language author, Diccon Bewes (Swiss Watching). The workshop will take place May 18-20, 2012.

The workshop will be divided into two sections, fiction and travel writing/non-fiction. Participants will receive nine hours of instruction in their chosen area, an author reading and apéro at Zurich’s English-language bookstore, Orell Füssli The Bookshop, as well as the option to participate in a literary dinner at Europe’s oldest vegetarian restaurant, Hiltl.

Registration opened today. Space is limited to 15 participants in each section and is filled on a first-come, first-served basis. You can register at www.zurichwritersworkshop.com. Click here to sign up for the mailing list.

Hope to see you in Zurich this spring. And please spread the word!

The Price of Free, Part I

2012-01-27T10:23:00.004+01:00

The airline industry has an interesting way of defining free: by charging you for it.

In fact, the airline industry complicates “free” so much, that it’s going to take a few One Big Yodel posts to cover just how complicated free can be.

Let’s start with fares for infants, since Ms. One Big Yodel now has one.

Supposedly, infants (defined by children under two) fly free. I decided to test this theory by booking a flight.

Here’s what “free” means, defined by two different airlines for the same round-trip flight:

ZURICH to CHICAGO on SWISS

Infant price:

-Fare CHF 44

-Fuel Surcharge CHF 328

-Airport taxes CHF 52

TOTAL “FREE” FARE: CHF 424 ($460)

ZURICH to CHICAGO on UNITED (same code-share flight as SWISS)

Infant price: $106.40 (includes one 5-minute dropped call, one 45-minute phone call with a non-native English speaker, and plenty of bad on-hold music to determine)

TOTAL “FREE” FARE: $106.40

Conclusion:

1) As we all knew, nothing is free in Switzerland

2) The USA is no longer the Land of the Free but is still much cheaper than Switzerland

3) The only thing free about the infant ticket was the headache it took to figure out the best price

Have you been amazed by the airline industry recently?

Baby Bureaucracy

2012-01-12T17:15:00.006+01:00

The Frau has been writing a lot. But not on this blog. Because having a baby is a lot of work. Having a baby abroad is even more work–at least when it comes to paperwork.

There are Swiss and international birth certificates, foreigner cards, passport applications, reports of birth abroad and social security forms, plus photos required for several of these forms, not to mention in-person visits to the U.S. Consulate office in Zurich, the migration department in Aarau, and the city office in Baden. All with a baby who can't even hold her head up yet and a mother who wishes she could put hers down on a big, fat pillow.

Oh, and even more interesting—the price you pay for all this bureaucracy:

Swiss and international birth certificates: CHF 30 each, we ordered three and were also charged CHF 1 for shipping.

Swiss foreigner card for baby (side note: somehow, the Swiss are able to even make a two-month-old look criminal in the photo), valid for four months until it must be renewed again, along with the parents’ cards: CHF 143

Passport photos: Three for CHF 10 (ordered from paspic.com—I highly recommend this site for any passport photo)

U.S. passport/birth reports/social security card: CHF 184

TOTAL: CHF 428 (free headaches included)

Just say cheese

2011-12-31T16:37:00.005+01:00

In the German-speaking part of Switzerland, it is traditional to watch "Dinner for One" on TV on New Year's Eve. Our Swiss neighbor does it every year. Don't ask me why a film in English is a German tradition, but it is. She even watches it in the original English.

Speaking of dinner, I've had cheese for dinner for the last two nights. Thursday night, we had fondue at our neighbor's and there was so much cheese in the pot that it broke. Then, last night, we had raclette. Six people ate 28 pieces of the stuff. The result? According to Mr. One Big Yodel, "I have such a big ball of cheese in my stomach that it is radiating heat like the sun."

What a way to celebrate the season in Switzerland.

Alles Gute zum neuen Jahr from One Big Yodel. Prost.

Five cheap things to do in Switzerland this season

2011-12-20T16:09:00.006+01:00

This is Ms. One Big Yodel's first Christmas in Switzerland. Instead of going home to visit family, her family is coming to her. Unfortunately for many visitors to Switzerland these days, it has become even more expensive than it was in the past. But here are a few things you can enjoy in Switzerland for (gasp!) cheap.

1. Eat marroni. Nothing says Christmas in Switzerland quite like a hot nut, or more specifically, a roasted chestnut. They are typically sold by street vendors in most Swiss villages.

2. Walk in the winter wonderland. Almost everywhere in the country, it's a great time of year to enjoy the weather, nordic walking style. In Baden, for example, there is a candle-lit evening hike up at Baldegg on December 27 that includes a plate of pasta after the 5k hike.

3. Ice skate. Many Swiss villages have an ice skating rink. For as little as CHF 5, you can have an afternoon of entertainment.

4. Make your own glass ornament. At Hergiswil Glassworks near Lucerne, visitors can make their own glass ornament after their CHF 5 tour of the factory (but be sure to check dates, it is closed part of the month). Or if glassmaking's not your thing, myswitzerland.com has put together a list of places, including various cheese dairies, which offer free admission.

5. Do nothing. Enjoy the holiday in traditional European fashion by doing nothing but relaxing. Most offices are businesses are closed the week after Christmas, a tradition worth starting in the rest of the world too.

What do you like to do to celebrate the season?

10 Things Expats Love to do on Facebook

2011-12-13T15:14:00.006+01:00

Ok, expats. It's time to sum up our online habits. Below are 10 things expats love to do on Facebook:

1. Brag about the trip they’ve just gone on.

2. Brag about the trip they are going on tomorrow.

3. Write their status in another language.

4. Make fun of bad English.

5. Insert foreign words into English sentences.

6. Post travel list challenges.

7. Exclaim how jet lagged they are.

8. Exclaim about how cheap everything is in the U.S.

9. Post photos of exotic locations, view from office or apartment included.

10. Use airport abbreviations in their status updates, the more obscure the better.

Are you guilty of any of these? And is there anything I've forgotten?

Shop online like it's 1989!

2011-12-06T21:39:00.004+01:00

A few weeks ago, I wrote about five Swiss websites that could use a makeover. But this Swiss online experience perhaps tops it all:

My husband went to a photo workshop in Baden over the weekend and received a coupon for 15% off his online order at ProFot.

So naturally he wanted to shop since he needs very little incentive to buy photo gear.

He filled his virtual shopping cart and went to check out and realized something strange: there was no redemption code on the coupon.

Upon further investigation (i.e. contacting the company), he learned that to redeem the coupon, he had to either scan it and email it to them or get this...snail mail it to the headquarters in Baar.

Yes. Thanks to you, ProFot, people in Switzerland really can shop online like it's 1989.

Have you had any strange shopping experiences in Switzerland?

Five Great Books About Life Abroad

2011-12-01T20:24:00.009+01:00

There are a lot of books about life abroad out there.

But many of them romanticize the experience rather than tell the real truth: life abroad is hard. Contrary to popular belief, the world is not just a place for Westerners to eat, pray, or fix up a holiday home. It can also be a place where a person with a Master’s degree doesn’t even know the word for beef.

Below are five books that paint a more accurate portrait of life abroad when you’re really, really living it for the long haul. If you're looking for a Christmas gift, I recommend any of these. And if you order them by clicking on the links included in this blog, you’ll help support One Big Yodel as well.

Me Talk Pretty One Day

By David Sedaris

Ruthless French teachers. Fears of speaking a new language so strong you wish meat were sold in vending machines. Trying to explain a holiday such as Easter in another language (Jesus shaves, anyone?). In these stories and more, Sedaris pretty much sums up the difficulties (and surprising rewards) that come from trying to make a life in another country. C'est bon.

Undress Me in the Temple of Heaven

By Susan Jane Gilman

A recent college graduate, Susan Jane Gilman was ready to conquer the world. She had romantic visions of backpacking abroad. But then she went to China, which in the 80s, had been open to tourists for about ten minutes. Between ant infested hotel rooms, broken down vehicles, and Chinese men that don’t know a word of English but can recite John Denver songs by heart, Gilman proves that “real travel” doesn’t get much more real than this.

Tales from the Expat Harem

Edited by Anastasia M. Ashman and Jennifer Eaton Goekmen

Before I traveled to Turkey last year, I read this collection of 32 essays about women who live there. One of my favorite essays was about a Christian evangelist from Iowa who was rescued by the very Turkish souls she hoped to save. Gotta love the theme: An American goes out to save the world and the world saves her instead.

Moonlight in Odessa

By Janet Skeslien Charles

What happens when a woman from the Ukraine becomes so tempted by the American dream that she becomes a mail order bride in order to attain it? This novel, written by an American expat living in Paris, has the answers. See the United States through the eyes of a Ukrainian as the main character, Daria, goes from being wide-eyed over things like garage door openers to finally becoming skeptical of the very materialism she dreamed of obtaining.

Kabul Beauty School

By Deborah Rodriguez

This is the true story of an American woman who goes to Afghanistan to teach women how to open their own beauty parlors. But teaching becomes interwoven with living as her students share their stories with her. From the woman who faked her virginity on her wedding night to the 12-year-old bride who was sold to repay family debts, this is an interesting look into the lives of Afghan women and also the affect they have on the American woman who came to empower them.

What are your favorite books about life or travel abroad?

Geneva Ranks Last in European Shopping Survey

2011-11-20T10:59:00.003+01:00

Manor, a large Swiss department store, is advertising their new “late night” shopping hours on a gigantic poster: the store is now open until 8 p.m. on weeknights. While this is a big deal for Switzerland, it’s still not enough to put a Swiss city on anyone’s list for a shopping tour. Especially considering the prices. (Yesterday my husband paid $10 for a bottle of barbecue sauce. Sigh.)

In a recent survey, “Globe Shopper City Index” by the Economist Intelligence Unit, of the 33 European cities studied for shopping, the one Swiss city in the survey—Geneva—came in last. I can’t say I’m surprised. Geneva is a city where you can’t even find a restaurant that’s open on a Saturday night, let alone a store.

Anyhow, top cities for shopping in this survey were: London, Barcelona, Madrid, and Paris. Some of the things considered in the survey were number of shops, opening hours, and affordability.

What are your favorite European cities for shopping?

10 things you notice about Switzerland when you have a baby

2011-11-11T12:32:00.003+01:00

One: Most building entrances have stairs and no ramps

Two: It is possible for the concept of shared laundry in the basement to get even worse

Three: It’s really uncool to take a stroller accessible spot on a bus when you don’t have a stroller

Four: There are a lot more hills in your town than you thought and somehow they got steeper

Five: Even when they are 35% off at Migros, it’s still cheaper to buy your Pampers in Germany

Six: The Swiss authorities are more concerned with that misspelling on your birth certificate 30+ years later than the City of Chicago ever was

Seven: Quiet hours need not apply

Eight: Even when the grocery store is across the street, online grocery shopping takes on a whole new appeal

Nine: You neighbor no longer lectures you about how you do laundry; instead she brings it up to your door when you forget to take it out of the dryer

Ten: When the maintenance guy wants to come at 7 am, you no longer think that is too early

Grocery Shopping Online with leshop.ch

2011-11-02T13:20:00.005+01:00

Now that I'm a mother abroad, I do things I never did before: like order groceries online even though I live right across the street from a grocery store.

Not only is it a little harder to get out these days, but I also had a coupon for a CHF 30 discount if I ordered at least CHF 100 worth of stuff from leshop.ch. To me, this coupon, along with Baby M, justified what could otherwise be viewed as complete and utter laziness. Also, as anyone that lives in Switzerland knows, it's not too hard to spend CHF 100 on groceries when maple syrup alone is CHF 7 and a six pack of Dr. Pepper is CHF 8.

Wait...Dr. Pepper?!!

Yes. Leshop.ch, which is Migros' online supermarket, has more selection than the actual store. For instance, you can buy wine, beer, and British food like American Doritos. Yes. I will forgive leshop.ch for categorizing Cool American Doritos, Cheerios, and Oreos as British food for the mere reason that they HAVE THESE PRODUCTS and I can order them. This is a major breakthrough for Switzerland and worth the CHF 15,90 delivery charge alone.

Also, they delivered the very next day, exactly when they said they would, between 5-8 pm, which was plenty of time for me to actually get dressed and look somewhat presentable, unlike the man from Die Post, who had the nerve to ring the bell at noon today when I was still in my circa 2001 plaid green pajama bottoms and bright blue and yellow Tweety slipper socks.

Anyway. Baby or not, I highly recommend shopping at leshop.ch. Not only will you avoid having any Migros moments, but the website is even in English.

Anyone else have experience grocery shopping online in Switzerland?

Dear Frau: Do you miss the U.S. and your family?

2011-10-27T10:16:00.008+02:00

Welcome to another edition of Dear Frau. It's kind of like Dear Abby, except with an international twist. If you have a question about moving to Switzerland or life abroad, don't hesitate to contact The Frau. For previous Dear Frau posts, click here.

Dear Frau,

I came upon your blog as I was researching life in Switzerland. I wanted to know if you miss living in the U.S. and if you have intentions of moving back? Selfishly, as a mother with an only child who might end up living in Europe, do you miss your mom and family? I hope my child does not decide to stay over in Europe. I did travel there for work but would not want to live there as I have a large family here.

Thanks for your answer.

Sincerely,

American Mom

Dear American Mom,

Originally the Frau came to Switzerland for three years with the full intention of moving back to the U.S. in 2009. It’s now 2011 and she’s still in Switzerland. There are many reasons for this, including that she and her husband have good jobs here, they enjoy the outdoorsy lifestyle, and until the baby came along, the travel opportunities.

Does she miss the U.S.? Well, she misses her family, the friendly people, the affordable food, and owning a house. But she doesn't miss her car, the crazy work hours, or the endless strip malls.

Are her parents disappointed she’s still here? Yes, of course. Especially considering there’s a grandchild in the mix now too. Does the grandchild change things? Perhaps. Time will tell. After all, Skype video calls only bridge the distance so much. And of course she misses her family. That’s hands-down the hardest part about living abroad. But consider this:

The Frau sees her family more now than she ever did when she was living in Virginia and they were in Illinois. When she was in Virginia, she had two weeks of vacation time a year. Her parents would come visit for a four-day weekend and she would come home for Christmas for a few days, but that was about it. She often worked weekends and basically had no life except for her job. Now she has five weeks of vacation and is living in a culture that accepts that a new mother might want to take six months of maternity leave instead of the standard three. In addition to her husband's six weeks of vacation time, her husband’s boss didn’t blink twice when he asked for an additional three weeks of unpaid paternity leave so he could be there for his new daughter and also have a week off when his mother visits.

In the last year, The Frau has seen her family more than ever. She was home at Christmas for two weeks. Her family was here in June for two weeks. Her father was here in September for a week, and her parents are coming back in December for two and a half weeks.

This is not to say that getting together does not require time, effort, and money for expensive long-haul flight tickets. And of course it’s not ideal to spend so much time together in big blocks with so much space in between visits. But unless the Frau and her parents lived in the same town in the U.S., she doesn’t know how the situation would be much different, except perhaps mentally knowing they were all living in the same country.

The Frau hopes this helps. Anyone else want to chime in on the topic of being far from family and how they cope?

The Ultimate Hausfrau

2011-10-16T11:09:00.003+02:00

I never planned to have a baby abroad, but then again I never planned to live abroad longer than three years. And life does go on—even when you feel more like you’re living in limbo than anywhere else.

One week ago, I had a baby. A beautiful little girl that I’ll call M for this blog’s purposes, for Maedchen, the German word for girl. The birth of M officially marks me as both a mother, and now, as I stay home for the next six months on maternity leave, I will become someone else: a true Swiss Hausfrau. I’ll try to document the ups and downs on this blog without turning it into a baby-centric Internet address that scares off non-mothers and men.

So far, I feel more like a walking zombie than a Swiss Hausfrau but maybe they are one in the same. I spent five days in the hospital and now I am lucky to have found an English-speaking German midwife who visits me once a day for about an hour to check how things are going—or to make sure I’m still sane, I’m not sure which. Swiss insurance pays for a midwife to visit you at home for up to 10 days after the birth of your baby.

The midwife and I discuss enlightening topics like swollen feet, breast pumps, and strange Swiss homeopathic treatments, which I’ll go into more detail in another post.

My husband has taken two weeks of unpaid leave (fathers in Switzerland are typically given only one paid day of paternity leave—mothers get 90 days) to help out and bond with his daughter. My neighbor joked that he is now a Hausmann, but then said he had always kind of been one anyway (she was always amazed that he ironed his own shirts, cooked, and did laundry). So this Hausfrau has a lot of help for now. And she is sehr Dankbar for that.

Five Swiss Websites That Could Use a Makeover

2011-10-08T10:12:00.005+02:00

There is something that even after living in Switzerland for five years I cannot understand: Why Swiss companies can't design a decent website. I realize that like most things in Switzerland, 20 years behind the times is about standard. And nothing proves this point more than these websites. Yes. Instead of designing for the Internet, these companies seem to think it works to design for direct mail and use the direct mail ad as the website.

There are two things wrong with this approach:

1. Direct mail is bad enough in paper format.

2. Direct mail on the web is even worse.

Most of these websites also seem to forget that online commerce is something that is possible in the 21st century. Heaven forbid I would want to see an overview of what a store sells and actually order something with my credit card.

Anyhow, here is a good representation of the quality of a .ch. Have fun.

Jysk Furniture

Fust Electronics

Jumbo Hardware Store

Media Markt Electronics

Denner Discounter

Are you often frustrated by Swiss websites? Know of any other bad ones I'd enjoy?

Dear Frau: Explain these strange Swiss laws!

2011-09-26T21:41:00.004+02:00

Welcome to another edition of Dear Frau. It's kind of like Dear Abby, except with an international twist. If you have a question about life in Switzerland or moving to Switzerland, don't hesitate to contact The Frau.

Dear Frau,

I hear there are quite a few quirky laws in Switzerland. For fear of being arrested, can you please let this soon-to-be American expat in on some of these strange laws? Is it true you can't flush the toilet after 10pm? And why?

Thanks,

Confused in Connecticut

Dear Confused in Connecticut,

There are a lot of things that are a bit strange about living in Switzerland. The Frau does not pretend to know all of them, but here are three strange Swissisms she either has some personal experience with or knows someone who did:

Quiet Time

Flushing the toilet after 10 p.m. Forget Heidi, this is the real Swiss classic. The Frau does not believe this is an official Swiss law, but rather a clause that may be in your apartment rental contract. Many apartment buildings have strict quiet hours and these may include specific things a non-Swiss person may not typically associate with loud noise. Such as: not being allowed to flush a toilet after 10pm, not being allowed to do laundry on Sunday (or during the lunch hour—some buildings actually shut off electricity to the machines at this time...), or not being allowed to do gardening on Sunday.

Also on the quiet hour front: you can’t typically recycle glass bottles on weeknights or on Sundays without being yelled at for disturbing the peace. Never mind that yelling also disturbs the peace or the all night parties that go on right outside your window during Carnival or Badenfahrt…

Trash Talk

Make sure you get a copy of your city’s garbage calendar and try to understand it (for help, read this). If you put your garbage out too early (or in the wrong bag, oh my!) you may be subject to a fine. A friend of the Frau was once called to the police station where she actually had to identify her trash. She was then charged CHF 250 because she had set it out too early the night before.

Recycling paper (see photo) is another strange Swiss ritual. You let the paper pile up for at least six weeks at your apartment and then ceremoniously tie it up with strings in neat packages no higher than about six inches before putting it outside. Don’t slack and just think it would be easier to stick all that paper in a paper box or bag and put outside. It would be easier, but this does not matter. If you don’t do it correctly, your paper will not be picked up and it will be plastered with a sticker stating your error. If you’re like The Frau, you’ll then be tempted to just throw it in your regular trash rather than wait another six weeks to redeem yourself.

Transport Pitfalls

Speeding

Driving a car is expensive in Switzerland. If you go more than 5 kilometers over a speed limit, you’ll receive a CHF 40 fine in the mail for each offence. If you travel way, way over the speed limit, you will be charged a fine that’s a percentage of your salary.

Not paying the night ticket supplement

Typically beginning at 1 am, depending on the public transport network, you must buy a CHF 5 nighttime supplement in addition to your regular train ticket. If you don’t buy this and they check tickets, you will be fined as if you didn’t have a ticket at all.

Ok, the Frau has run out of energy. Anyone else have experience with some of these things or want to let Confused in Connecticut in on some additional Swiss laws or customs that are not fun to discover after the fact?

Women's Rights in Switzerland Challenged Once Again

2011-09-20T21:02:00.004+02:00

In the spring of 2010, I wrote an article for Swiss News about the Zurich Women’s Guild and how they’ve been fighting for over 20 years for the right to march alongside the men’s guilds in the Sechseläuten parade, which is held every April. Sechseläuten is a public holiday in Zurich, and the parade is partly supported by public funds.

This spring, for the first time ever, the men’s guilds allowed the women to march in the parade, but it was a one-time invitation and it was not guaranteed that it would be an ongoing trend.

Earlier this week, I read that the men’s guilds have decided the women will no longer be welcome in the parade.

Why? Sometimes I don’t understand Switzerland at all…even when I try to by going in-depth and interviewing the people behind these stories.

I respect traditions—even 1000-year old ones—but like everything else, I feel they should evolve with the times. The other Zurich tradition, Knabenschiessen, has allowed girls to participate for over 20 years now.

And to be fair, girls are also allowed to march in the Sechseläuten parade with their fathers. But then, once they get older, they are no longer welcome.

What does this say about Swiss society?

Girls have more rights than women?

I guess the real message is this: if you’re a girl in Switzerland, try not to grow up. There’s a reason Heidi is a Swiss icon and not a grown woman. Because clearly, there are still some areas where equality for women is lacking in Switzerland.

What do you think about the men's decision to exclude the women from the parade?

Only in Switzerland, Part III

2011-09-13T22:34:00.003+02:00

I was in the grocery store this week. The woman in front of me bought a bottle of grape juice. She paid for it with a CHF 1,000 bill ($1,136).

The high quality of life in Zurich

2011-09-04T16:37:00.004+02:00

You hear all the time that Zurich has one of the highest quality of life ratings in the world.

But what does this mean?

I figured this out a couple weeks ago.

It was one of those boiling hot days when sitting in the office was almost unbearable. So about 11:45, I went to Seebad Utoquai and spent an entire hour swimming in Lake Zurich. While there, I ran into five other work colleagues.

"Do you come here often?" I asked, as I joined them on the deck for a few minutes after my swim.

"Every day," they replied.

Now that's what I call a great quality of life.

Big sale in Switzerland!

2011-08-26T20:01:00.003+02:00

Hurry, yodelers. You don't get blockbuster deals like this very often in Switzerland: a savings of 11%? Now that warrants a huge ad.

And try not to faint, but there's a double bonus here, although they've hidden it by using white font on a yellow background. So I'll just tell you so you don't have to squint: The furniture store will even be open on SUNDAY.

Wow. A sale and a Sunday. I hardly know what to do with myself. Besides go shopping, that is.

Dear Frau: How does Swiss Health Insurance Work?

2011-08-14T11:19:00.006+02:00

Welcome to another edition of Dear Frau. It's kind of like Dear Abby, except with an international twist. If you've got a question about expat life in Switzerland or moving to Switzerland, don't hesitate to contact the Frau and maybe your little Frage will be in the next edition of Dear Frau.

Dear Frau,

I am relocating to Fribourg with my husband from September through July, 2012. He received a Fulbright grant to study at the University of Fribourg, and I get to tag along. We're currently trying to navigate the private insurance world; he'll be covered by the university but I have to buy my insurance. Do you have any pointers on how Swiss health insurance works for expats and what companies to contact?

Sincerely,

Yet to be insured expat in Switzerland

Dear yet to be insured expat in Switzerland,

Swiss health insurance works no differently for expats than it does for Swiss people. Everyone in Switzerland is required to have health insurance—if you can’t prove to your city hall that you have it, they will personally sign you up. Health insurance is not paid for by employers, like it is in the United States. This is both good and bad. Good because no matter your employment status, you have insurance. Bad because it can be expensive. But the best part about Swiss insurance is that you CANNOT be denied basic health insurance for any reason.

The Frau is of the opinion that the basic, compulsory Swiss health insurance is satisfactory for most people and that there is no point to pay more than necessary to have benefits like private rooms at a hospital, since opportunities to upgrade can be paid for separately if desired.

All Swiss health insurers offer basic insurance. All you need to do is compare the price, because as far as the Frau knows, the benefits will be basically the same. (Basic insurance does not include dental or eye care).

Before the Frau signed up for insurance, she got quotes from a couple insurers and compared insurance rates on comparis.ch.

Basically, she ended up choosing Helsana, because their website was in English and they had one of the lower prices, but then Helsana somehow signed her up with SanSan, a division of Helsana that does not have a website in English. The Frau is not sure how this happened but then again she’s not sure how a lot of things happen in the country, and she’s been here over five years.

Nevertheless, despite missing her fantastic international insurance through CIGNA, which also covered dental and eye care with no deductibles, so far the Swiss insurance through SanSan has been satisfactory and for medications/vitamins not covered by it, the Frau hops over the border and buys in Germany where they are 75% less expensive. (Before you move, buy basic medicines, for example, Centrum Vitamins in the US are about $6.95 but in Switzerland the same bottle is $50).

With the basic insurance you have several options; the Frau chose the option that allowed her to go to any doctor, since even though she lives in Canton Aargau she already had several doctors she went to in Zurich at the time she had to switch from international to Swiss insurance. This option for free choice of doctors costs about CHF 20 more a month on her plan. The Frau pays about CHF 162 ($222) a month for basic Swiss insurance with this option with a CHF 2500 ($3440) deductible, which is the highest deductible. With lower deductibles, the monthly fees are higher.

As far as the Frau can tell, someone on basic Swiss insurance will end up spending about CHF 5000 ($6881) a year to be insured before the insurance company starts paying your medical bills. (This CHF 5000 includes the monthly fees, the deductible, and the extra CHF 700 they don’t tell you about that you must also pay before the insurance pays additional costs). There are some exceptions, i.e. pregnant women are exempt from paying deductible costs for most doctor visits and normal procedures related to pregnancy.

For more information, the Frau recommends reading the following:

Health insurance for people new to Switzerland

Benefits and FAQ about Swiss health insurance (download the PDFs, they are very helpful).

Anyone else want to chime in about their experience with Swiss insurance or what insurers they’ve liked/hated?

The Swiss Second-hand Scene

2011-08-08T20:23:00.000+02:00

As you know based on my last post, I tend to frequent Swiss second-hand markets. I’m a regular at the Baden flea market, which is the last Saturday of every month, and I never pass by an opportunity to step into a Brockenhaus, or a second-hand store. I also occasionally visit Switzerland’s online second-hand store, in other words, the Ebay of Switzerland, which is, in the Swiss style of being very independent, not Ebay.ch, but ricardo.ch.

All of these second-hand Swiss entities have a few things in common: the prices of things are high and most sellers don’t want to bargain.

Both of these traits run counter to the idea of selling second-hand stuff, but then again this is Switzerland, and that fact alone somehow exempts the country the rest of the world’s way of thinking (not that this is always a bad thing, especially in these crazy economic times).

For example, my husband and I are in the market for a baby stroller. Most used strollers in Switzerland seem to be priced around CHF 350-500 ($464-$664) for something three years old. Alas, we watched one particular ricardo.ch seller try to sell their stroller for three weeks straight for CHF 350. Each week, when it didn’t sell, they just relisted it AT THE SAME PRICE. Like I said, rules of economics need not apply to Switzerland.

We finally emailed them after it didn’t sell for a fourth week and asked if we could come by over the weekend, have a look at the stroller, and then possibly buy it if we liked it. We were prepared to offer CHF 300 if we liked it, which seemed fair, considering they weren’t selling it at CHF 350.

The response: yes, you can come by and see it, but we’re not taking it off ricardo.ch. My response? Forget it. I’m not going to spend half a day renting a car to come see your stroller if I can’t buy it and take it home with me right then and there.

Anyhow, further research reveals that thanks to exchange rates and normal prices that do exist outside of this little exception of a country, we can buy the same stroller, new, from Germany for only CHF 100 more than the used, three-year-old Swiss ones are going for.

So goodbye, Swiss second-hand market. Hallo, Deutschland.

Swiss flea market bargains

2011-07-26T20:41:00.001+02:00

In honor of the upcoming August 1^st Swiss Independence Day holiday, I found the perfect thing at the Baden flea market: a chair made especially to commemorate the 700^th anniversary of Switzerland back in 1991.

Of course, I knew none of this chair history when I bought it, I just liked the chair, knew it would match the colors in our front entranceway, and, most importantly, it was being sold close enough to carry home.

That night, I googled the chair, and the impossible happened: I found out I actually got a good deal in Switzerland. I paid CHF 50 for the chair (the owner wouldn’t bargain, typical of people at Swiss flea markets—another subject all together…), but I found it being sold online for over CHF 250.

Now that’s what I call a Preishit.

Why the Swiss love the USA

2011-07-12T08:25:00.005+02:00

In honor of 4th of July last week, the Swiss newspaper Blick am Abend featured six reasons why they love the U.S.:

1. Free thinking. Do whatever you want. There's more room for creativity in the U.S.

I agree that the U.S. feels much more open creatively than Switzerland. It's been said that the Swiss are both prisoners and their guards. There is some truth to this.

2. American hot dog.

Can't say I'm very excited about the American hot dog. Give me a slice of deep dish pizza instead.

3. Doggy Bag.

Yes, love the doggy bag concept, although in Switzerland I don't usually have any food on my plate to take home since the portions are much more reasonable (in size, not price). But when I do have leftovers, I would appreciate a doggy bag, especially considering that next plate of Chinese food will set me back at least CHF 25.

4. Dream factory. Home of the stars and anyone who wants to be one.

I think what the Swiss are forgetting here is the concept of competition. It's easy to stand out in Switzerland without being that talented because there aren't that many people to compete against. The U.S. population is 311 million people versus 7 million in Switzerland. So yes, if you make it big in the U.S., you probably make it big worldwide. But the chances of that are like playing the lotto.

5. Music business. The music divas of the U.S. are found on Swiss TV and radio stations like none other in the world.

This actually disappoints me. I wish other countries would play their own music.

6. Smile please. We wish our service was as friendly and happy.

Amen. Would someone in this country please smile and learn that customer service does not involve toll numbers?

What do you think? Do you agree these are reasons to love America?

Swiss C Permit Reject

2011-07-02T19:42:00.003+02:00

My husband just returned from Alphorn School. We just had a three hour dinner and German conversation with my Swiss neighbor. And we submitted everything ((including salary statements for three years and forms that stated we did not owe anyone any money (that ironically we had to pay for to receive) the Swiss government requested.))

None of this matters. I’m still a B.

After waiting five years to apply for the C permit, my husband and I were rejected because we went on vacation and therefore missed the short deadline they gave us to complete the paperwork.

Yep. Wait five years and they give you seven days. Nice.

The annoying thing is, the Swiss government knew were gone. Because we had to run around to Aarau at wee hours of the morning and pay CHF 180 for the Visa for the honor of leaving the country at that lovely time when your permit expires but they can’t seem to process another one fast enough in order to avoid you paying them more money for their tardiness.

We came back from our vacation only to collect our mail and realize they had given us only seven days to complete the paperwork—even though they knew we were gone.

The reject letter that came a week later basically said, “better luck next year. You can pick up your B-permits for CHF 220 and you have only 10 days to do so.”

Thanks, Switzerland. We love you too.

Stereotypes in the mainstream press

2011-06-21T20:34:00.003+02:00

Hello yodelers

A Swiss blogger living in Texas, author of True America(n), recently wrote me an email suggesting that perhaps there is even more going on in some of these so-called news pieces I’ve posted than what I’ve previously mentioned.

He is right. So I would like to open up this discussion and see what you think as well.

The media can be dangerous, particularly magazines, newspapers, and TV news that we read or watch casually, like Blick am Abend.

While I find it endlessly interesting to understand the European view of the U.S. by reading publications here, it can also be somewhat disturbing if you look deeper.

Here’s the Swiss blogger’s view of the article here. He is also responding to my recent posting of it:

I admire your viewing this as just a cultural difference and understand why others in the comments don't get it. What we’ve really got here is the stereotype and subtle propaganda you can find in every newspaper in Europe. It is the daily dose of Anti-Americanism in Europe since 1776. That's how the European press fosters a special image about the United States and Americans, for centuries and for various reasons.

So, what about this little innocent article? There is no real information, nothing newsworthy about it. There is only one reason for it: Keep a certain image alive about the U.S. and Americans. Let’s take a closer look at the caption and this first sentence. Europeans see Las Vegas as something "childish, silly, ridiculous" and also "fake, not genuine" or like many things in Vegas as a "copy" of something original in the old world. Las Vegas serves as a moniker in this text for those adjectives. In your translation, you also missed the German "immer", or „always.“ Its position in the sentence also puts stress on it. This little word actually pulls the whole sentence out of the context and becomes a general statement. Here's what people understand when they read this first sentence: "Americans are always childish and everything is fake."

As an American, I do find that this stereotype exists a lot in the press here. And I think it is dangerous to people who don’t understand both sides. American and Swiss cultures are very different—friendly and exuberant versus private and discreet. Nothing is wrong with either, except when we fail to try to understand the differences. It is unfortunate that a lot of mainstream media prefers stereotyping to in-depth stories that help us better understand the world. The American press is guilty of this as well. In fact, I think a lazy press is to blame for a lot of the issues in the world today.

What do you think?

What do you see?

2011-06-14T15:35:00.004+02:00

When I saw this picture in the local Blick am Abend newspaper I thought, "Oh, a graduation ceremony."

But then I read the caption and realized the Swiss saw something else: a little Las Vegas.

The beginning of this caption reads: Air Force Academy, CO--For the Americans, everything is a little Las Vegas.

I think this caption versus my original impression of the photo says a lot about the difference between Swiss and American culture.

What do you think?

What do the Swiss think of Americans?

2011-06-08T20:52:00.004+02:00

Bell, a meat brand in Switzerland, has a new ad campaign advertising American style BBQ. Based on my last post, I thought their headline was actually quite appropriate: Think Big. Grill Big.

I don't think I could sum up American life much better. Could you?

The French Are Right (sometimes)

2011-05-31T21:00:00.003+02:00

Over the weekend I had the opportunity to attend a wedding celebration in Zurich. My favorite part (besides seeing friends) was the dessert buffet. There was chocolate mousse. There was vanilla mousse. There was strawberry shortcake. There was apple strudel. And there were cream puffs. So of course I took some of everything.

While we Americans piled our plates high with sweets the French guy sitting next to me had taken just one chocolate mousse and put it in the center of his plate. He shook his head at our indulgence and told us that it was better to enjoy just one small thing than stuff yourself silly. In other words, he was very French and we were very American.

It was only the next day that I realized sometimes the French are right.

The search for the long lost cup holder

2011-05-23T19:54:00.005+02:00

If you're an American and you rent cars in places other than North America, chances are you'll have this experience:

You buy a soda at a grocery store or gas station. You get in the car, open it, start to drink it, and then look for where to set it down so you can get on your way. You try setting it in this place and that and finally come to the conclusion that the car is missing one important thing: a cup holder.

It's taken me five years of living in Europe but I now know to not expect a cup holder in my car. A cup holder is an American thing.

I had never considered this before. But when you think about it, what self-respecting European drinks on the run? No, better to spend 5 Euros on one soda or coffee and enjoy it for a few hours at a cafe.

But the cup holder phenomenon goes beyond cars. Take baby strollers. In the U.S., you can get a baby stroller complete with, you guessed it, a cup holder. European strollers, on the other hand, have places for shopping bags instead.

Have you ever searched for a cup holder and come up empty?

Not a time to celebrate

2011-05-05T22:45:00.004+02:00

I heard the news from Swiss radio first: "Osama bin Laden ist tot."

"Really? They finally got him?" These were my thoughts as I lay in bed. Surprise. Disbelief. And finally, hope that the world will be a safer place.

And then I went to the NewYorkTimes.com and CNN.com and saw photos of Americans around the U.S. celebrating Osama's death with flags, fireworks, and cheers.

And then my hope was gone.

Have we learned nothing over the last ten years? Shame on people for celebrating death so outwardly. And double shame on the media for posting these photos on the Internet for the world to see.

Of course, following this story was another piece about how the terror level is even higher.

Yep. Instead of reacting in a way that would not feed a terrorist's motives any more than necessary, we celebrated in a way that would make them hate us even more.

Perhaps Americans abroad have a different view of these kind of events than those back home. If I had billions to donate to a cause, I would make sure all Americans could experience a world outside of their borders.

Until then, I guess the celebrations will continue.

What do you think?

America is on sale!

2011-04-27T21:32:00.006+02:00

For awhile, I didn't know what could help the United States recover from its economic demise, but now I do: the Swiss tourists.

There's a lot of excitement among Swiss and expats in Switzerland. They can't wait to go on a shopping vacation–to the USA. Among Europeans, the U.S. is now considered a budget destination. See above, this was the leading topic in today's newspaper, "20 Minuten."

To further the incentive, the dollar fell yesterday to a new record low against the franc: $1 is now only worth .87 francs.

In just six months, the dollar has fallen 10%; 17% for the year against the franc. Since I moved to Switzerland five years ago, the dollar has fallen a total of 30% in value. Now that's a reason to get home and get shopping.

You Know it's Easter When...

2011-04-23T19:15:00.003+02:00

It's been a tradition for the last five years. It never fails, every Easter, my grandpa sends me a package of marshmallow Easter eggs. He doesn't put them in a box or anything, he just wraps them in a brown paper bag. So they always arrive partly smashed and stale, but I love them all the same.

Where are the April showers?

2011-04-18T19:25:00.004+02:00

I can't believe I would ever say this in Switzerland, but here it is: I am wishing for rain. Just for a day. Please?

In my highly scientific opinion (sneeze), the pollen this year in Switzerland is probably the worst it has ever been due to the extremely warm weather and lack of rain. Since spring decided to begin in February this year, I've been sick since oh, about then. And since we haven't had any rain for at least a month, the pollen is sticking to everything and blowing everywhere.

(Sneeze.) It would just be so great if I could breathe through my nose. Unfortunately, I have forgotten what that's like. I had to go back to the pharmacy today for yet another refill on my barely functioning allergy medicine.

But despite my allergies, I couldn't help but bike through these rape fields near Wettingen yesterday (see photo above). They're out a whole month earlier than usual.

And while I'm loving the warm, sunny weather, please, Zurich, rain. I know you can do it.

Anyone else having allergy issues this spring?

Healthcare in Switzerland vs. the United States

2011-04-07T20:53:00.002+02:00

In the past few years, the U.S. has been in the news for its so-called health care reform. But what has been accomplished?

Like most things, as you learn more about another country’s way of doing things, you’re educated about your own country at the same time. Unfortunately, what I am learning is not flattering to the healthcare situation in the United States.

Basic Swiss health insurance covers you for emergencies that take place outside of Switzerland for up to twice the cost of what this emergency would cost inside the country. And yet Switzerland, known for being one of the most expensive places in the world, recommends that for travel to the United States, one take additional travel insurance since medical costs there will likely exceed twice the cost of the same procedure in Switzerland.

Yes. Medical care in the United States will generally exceed twice the cost of medical care in Switzerland. Why? Too many lawyers? Too many greedy people? Too many fat people? To me this is absolute insanity and shows just how out of control medical costs in the United States have gotten and how much reform really needs to take place there.

What do you think?

Lunch al fresco (if you can)

2011-03-30T21:15:00.003+02:00

According to a study commissioned by the Federal Health Office and reported by swissinfo.ch, 27% of the Swiss population aged 14-65 were smokers in 2009. But among 20 to 24-year-olds, 39% percent smoke. Cough.

Despite these numbers, take a walk along Lake Zurich, and it can feel like everyone smokes. I can hardly walk two steps without choking. It’s really too bad, since Switzerland is so clean otherwise. But it’s hard to enjoy the fresh air and nice weather when it’s clouded by cigarette smoke.

Lately, like half the residents of Zurich, I’ve taken to eating my lunch by the lake. This is quite challenging for a non-smoker, but last Friday, I managed a milestone: I sat on a bench by the lake along with three other Swiss-German speakers, and no one lit up for the entire 45 minutes. I could hardly believe my luck.

But normally, I sit down, take two bites of my food, and someone starts smoking. So I play a strange game of musical benches, which never really ends well. However, I have done some completely unscientific research that I would like to share to help you choose your next outdoor dining bench:

Sit next to people who are eating. Most people here won’t light up in the middle of their lunch, only yours. So choose people who are just sitting down to eat, not those who are finishing.
Don’t sit by people who look like they are 20-24. Your odds of breathing smoke will be almost 40% instead of 30%.
Do not sit by people eating McDonalds. Not only does their lunch stink, their cigarettes will too. These people seem almost 100% more likely to smoke than those eating something from Tibits.
Analyze the wind (if there is any) and plan your bench strategy accordingly. If possible, sit on the edge of the bench closest to the direction the wind is coming from.
Find a secluded rock by the lake.

Anyone else have issues with smoke or strategies for avoiding it and still being able to enjoy lunch al fresco?

Great Ethnic Food in Zurich

2011-03-20T22:22:00.007+01:00

After years of complaining about the lack of good ethnic food in Zurich, things are looking up for The Frau.

She’s discovered hands-down the best Indian restaurant in Zurich. She’s discovered a Thai place she likes. Not to mention a couple of her old standards, which she’ll also regurgitate here.

Cheti’s Curry Seefeldstrasse 7 8008 Zürich

Now this is good Indian food. And also not a bad price. For lunch, The Frau paid CHF 25 for a plate of chicken tikka masala complete with rice, side dishes, and a beverage. Wow. The Frau is getting to used to Swiss prices. Still. What a deal for Zurich. Service is friendly and fast. English is spoken too.

Tiffins Seefeldstrasse 61 8008 Zürich

The line out the door says it all. Besides daily specials like Singapore Noodles, this fantastic little Asian restaurant has standards like Sweet and Sour Chicken. And their mango/ginger beverage is well worth the CHF 6. Best of all, the dishes are reasonably priced, a small take-out portion can be as little as CHF 10. To snag a table at lunch, arrive before 12 or make reservations.

Restaurant Stadion Skarabaeus Seminarstrasse 71 5430 Wettingen

The Frau will forgive them for serving Schnitzel at lunch. Unfortunately, until more Swiss learn to appreciate fantastic Lebanese food, you can only order Lebanese food at dinnertime here--lunch is traditional Swiss. But the dinner is worth the wait. Two people can get 6 Mezzeh, or 6 small Lebanese dishes to share. And if you come with a party of 4, you can choose 12 dishes. Taboule. Hummus. Lebanese meatballs. It's all fantastic. Not a bad deal either: Mezzeh for two is CHF 45 and Mezzeh for four is CHF 95.

Wagamama Talstrasse 83 8001 Zurich

The Frau first discovered this Asian food chain in London and was thrilled when they came to Zurich. While their service may sometimes be strange—they will bring a main course and appetizer at the same time—the food is good and the green tea is free. Yes, free. Become a member of their club and you get great offers—free appetizers, free drinks, sometimes even buy one main dish, get one free. Their restaurant is always rather warm, so wear a t-shirt!

Hiltl Sihlstrasse 28 8001 Zurich

The best place for vegetarian food in Zurich. The Frau has been going there almost since she moved here and is never disappointed—except when it’s hard to find a table! But there’s a reason for that—the food is that good. And don’t forget to have the brownie with ice cream sometime. Hiltl also offers cooking classes in English.

Tibits Seefeldstrasse 2 8008 Zürich

If you’re looking for the ultimate salad bar, Tibits is the place to go. Some people have yet to realize that in a spirit perhaps only Starbucks has also mastered, there’s a Tibits right next to the Tibits. The newer Tibits is in the old NZZ cafeteria and is a much more spacious inside.

Restaurant Lemon Haselstrasse 17 5400 Baden

Forget Stars & Stripes, this is the place to go for a proper hamburger. Or barbecue ribs. Or nachos. In other words, American food. Is that considered ethic? Sure. We’re far enough from home. Another thing the Frau liked about this restaurant was their bread bar. You just help yourself to any breads you want along with dipping oils. For free.

Da Pippo Giuseppe Salvatore Untere Halde 11 5400 Baden

A pizza for CHF 13? A soft drink for CHF 3,50? A cute restaurant in Baden’s old town with friendly service included? What can The Frau say, this place had tasty pizza and they asked her if she wanted to take what she couldn’t eat home. She did. It made the deal even sweeter to get two meals for that price.

What restaurants do you like in Switzerland?

The Party Pooper

2011-03-08T19:42:00.001+01:00

I tried. For five years. But I just can’t like Fasnacht (the Swiss version of carnival).

There are things about it that I love. I love seeing Swiss people smiling in the streets. I love the costumes. And I love watching everyone let down their guard and throw confetti with abandon. But I do not love that the very people that criticize me for recycling a glass bottle on a Sunday or eating popcorn during a movie think it’s just fine to beat drums and blast horns until 6 a.m. for three consecutive nights outside my apartment.

Every country has hypocrisy. Fasnacht is Switzerland’s.

I would probably love Fasnacht if it were more Swiss. Like if they stopped banging the drums at 10 p.m. on a weeknight. (I’d even put up with midnight.) That seems reasonable, doesn’t it? Especially since I’m not supposed to flush my toilet after that.

But when it’s 10 p.m. and you’re tired, and you know that despite the blasting fan, the earplugs, and the pillow over your head, that you’ll still be hearing the banging until 6 a.m., it doesn’t exactly make you love the holiday. Parties are fun. Except for the ones you can't leave.

Not to mention, the moment I emerge from my apartment, bleary eyed and exhausted, some Fasnacht clown will want me to pay for the privilege of listening to their music by buying a placket. Sorry. The thing I will pay for? A ticket out of town.

Going to the Movies in Switzerland

2011-03-02T19:55:00.000+01:00

I went to the movies. Big deal. Well, it was. I hadn’t been to a Swiss movie theater for a few years, mainly because it’s such a pain to buy a ticket. Most Swiss plan to attend movies at least a week in advance and buy their tickets accordingly. So if you’re a lazy American and just want to show up before the show, good luck getting a ticket. Anyhow, going to the movies again reminded me just how different the experience is in Switzerland.

I went to see The King’s Speech on Saturday, which was luckily in E/d/f. The key letter being “E”, which meant the film was in English with German and French subtitles. Most movies in Switzerland are shown in their original language since most Swiss people are very particular (i.e. snobby) about seeing a movie in its original format. The sentiment in multi-lingual Switzerland is that people who watch dubbed movies are not sophisticated.

Swiss movie theaters have assigned seats. Your ticket has a seat number and you better sit in it, or you’ll disturb the order. Enter a Swiss movie theater that is only half-full, and you’ll find its entire audience clumped together in the back half of the theater, since it would be wrong to sit in an empty seat that you weren’t assigned to.

Then there are the snacks. My husband and I went to see the 5:30 p.m. show, so popcorn was our dinner. I snacked hungrily during the beginning of the movie, the popcorn tasted great, but each bag crinkle and chew made me feel self-conscious; no one else was making a sound; they had all put their treats away for the intermission, when the movie suddenly stops mid-sentence, and when it is finally socially acceptable to eat popcorn or an ice cream bar.

Today at the office, my Swiss friend was telling me how his partner went to a movie last week and he was glad he didn’t go with because the people sitting behind his partner were chomping on candy throughout the whole movie. Really? I said,…that’s…uh, terrible.

Dear Frau: Yodeling lessons in Switzerland?

2011-02-26T09:57:00.003+01:00

Welcome to another edition of Dear Frau. It's kind of like Dear Abby, except with an international twist. If you have a question about life in Switzerland, don't hesitate to contact the Frau.

Dear Frau,

I am on a yearlong vacation here in Switzerland. Fabulous! (Well, my husband has to work, but it's a vacation for me.) Anyway, we'll be going back already in June and I have not yet learned to yodel! I cannot possibly face my friends in Colorado without a few good notes after having been here for a whole year. Seriously, I love to sing and have not been able to find any classes in Zurich. And I'm betting they'd be much more effective than my German classes! Do you know of any classes; have any contacts in this area; directions to point me, etc.?

Hoping for my own big yodel,

Yodeloo

Dear Yodeloo

The Frau has not yodeled in Switzerland, although her living room does have an alphorn in it. One step at a time, she thinks, lest she become too Swiss too fast.

In Zurich, the Frau has only run into two yodelers—and they were from Appenzell. Most Zurichers wear suits and a sour expression and don’t quite seem like the yodeling type.

So the Frau would probably go to Appenzell if she were really serious about yodeling. It appears to be possible to book a yodeling lesson through the Appenzell Tourism Office.

Another way to learn to yodel would be to join the Swiss Yodeling Association, which just celebrated its 100th anniversary on May 8. Its membership also includes flag tossers and alphorn players. Their next big festival is in Interlaken.

Or if you want to settle for alphorn lessons instead, the Swiss Alphorn School in Gstaad offers an intensive weekend course in June and welcomes beginners.

Has anyone else out there yodeled in Switzerland? Or know about the Swiss folk scene? If so, please help Yodeloo learn to yodelee by leaving a comment. Merci.

Writing Workshops in Zurich this Spring

2011-02-17T19:18:00.005+01:00

Hello Yodelers,

If you’re interested in writing, this post is for you.

There are several writing workshops taking place in Switzerland this spring that may give you the inspiration you need to either get started as a writer or take your writing to another level.

First off, yours truly will be teaching a two-hour workshop at the American Women’s Club of Zurich on Saturday, March 26, on how to make a living as a writer abroad. The course costs CHF 30 and you must register by March 15.

Secondly, The Zurich Writers Workshop has announced its spring workshop and registration opened today. The workshop will take place May 6-8, 2011 and is divided into two sections, memoir/creative non-fiction and fiction. Guest instructors include New York Times Bestselling Author Susan Jane Gilman and award-winning Novelist Janet Skeslien Charles. The workshop costs CHF 250 and includes 9 hours of instruction, a literary tour of Zurich, instructor readings, coffee/snacks, and more. Registration is limited to 15 writers per section and is filling fast so it is advised to register as soon as possible if you would like to participate.

If you have any questions about either workshop, leave a comment. And if you know of any other writing events going on, please let me know.

Dear Frau: What is it about Switzerland?

2011-02-07T19:59:00.001+01:00

Dear Frau

I would be interested in hearing the little quirky things that make Switzerland home to people. I would love to hear the things that people who adopted CH would miss if they went away.

Maybe you will ask your readers my question?

Take care and hope to hear from you,

Mrs. Crocodile

Dear Mrs. Crocodile,

There are many things The Frau would miss if she left CH. Maybe that’s why so far, she hasn’t.

For one, the cleanliness. The Frau can barely leave Switzerland these days without being completely disturbed by how dirty the rest of the world really is.

Public transportation that is so punctual that you miss it.

The clock tower reminding The Frau every 15 minutes, 24/7, just exactly how much time she wastes on Facebook.

Knowing that when you make an appointment for 7 p.m. this means exactly that.

The locked trash bins.

The excitement that occurs when the sun comes out.

The amount of chocolate you can eat without gaining a pound.

Being able to walk everywhere.

Not having to own a car.

The great outdoors. The pool. The ice rink. The biking paths. The hiking paths. The Slow Up events. The Frau’s running path by the Limmat River. The fact that she can swim in the river. Or the lake. A spa that’s only a 10-minute walk away. A train station that’s only a 2-minute walk away. An airport that’s only a 20-minute ride away.

Conversations that take place in multiple languages with no loss of communication.

The “I’m a daredevil” feeling you can enjoy when doing laundry on Sunday.

Knowing exactly how many minutes until the baggage appears at the Zurich airport.

What would you miss if you left Switzerland? Or if you’ve already left, what do you miss?

Something you would never see in Switzerland

2011-01-30T12:39:00.004+01:00

It doesn't take a genius to guess that this sign is from a parking lot in the American South. When a country is run by lawyers instead of by the people, these kind of signs tend to be popular, if not a bit ridiculous in their excess caution. Not to mention, in the U.S., there is often more salt on the streets than snow.

While I don't necessarily need a sign to warn me that it's winter and snowy and therefore slippery, I would appreciate a small sprinkling of sand or salt on my Swiss streets sometimes. I was in Adelboden a few weeks back and could hardly walk without slipping. People were sliding down the streets in their snowboots. It was dangerous. I know that personal responsibility matters in Switzerland, but sometimes this is also taken to the extreme. At one point, a local told us to get down the main hill, we should take the parking lot elevator rather than the road because the road was too icy. So we went down the hill via the parking lot.

I just wonder where the balance is sometimes. From one country to the other, from one extreme to the other.

What do you think? Do you prefer to slip and slide with or without signage?

Mob Scene

2011-01-25T21:26:00.003+01:00

Anyone that rides a Swiss train at rush hour (or on Sunday) can relate to this, oder?

In fact, the crowding on Swiss trains has gotten so crazy that the SBB is considering raising the price of tickets for people who commute during the rush hour. But the real problem, in my opinion, is that people getting on the train aren't letting the people that want to get off, off. What do you think?

Balloon Festival in Chateau d'Oex

2011-01-20T22:25:00.004+01:00

Hi Yodelers,

It's been a busy January so far, but I'm trying to come down to earth long enough to remind you about an iconic event that happens once a year in Switzerland: the balloon festival in Chateau d'Oex. It starts this weekend (the 22nd) and runs through next Sunday (the 30th). I went to see it in 2009 and wrote about it last year. If you want to know more, you can read my post here. Or visit the official balloon website here. It's really a beautiful thing to see.

Dear Frau: I'm homesick

2011-01-12T21:38:00.005+01:00

Welcome to another edition of Dear Frau. It's kind of like Dear Abby, except with an international twist. If you have a question about life abroad, feel free to contact The Frau and maybe your little Frage will be in the next edition of Dear Frau.

Dear Frau,

I've been here 9 weeks. I've eaten the cheeses, the Sprüngli, and the Schnitzel. I've lost the 20 pounds that lazy Americans bring with them, despite having eaten the cheeses, the Sprüngli, and the Schnitzel. I've taken more pictures of the mountains and lakes than Facebook can handle. I drink Prosecco whenever it is available. So tell me, how do I conquer the overwhelming waves of homesickness that literally take my breath away even as I enjoy my surroundings?

I'm 36 years old - can it really be this hard to be away from my family and friends?! We Skype, Vonage and Yahoo!Messenger. We e-mail, snail mail and send overpriced tokens of our love. But still, I feel like a 10- year-old at a never-ending sleep-away camp.

Any advice and/or humorous/horrifying stories of crying on the train and/or Panoramaweg would be welcome.

Danke a ton.

The Lone Kansan

Dear The Lone Kansan

You may feel alone but look around and you’ll see someone who is wearing sunglasses even though it is foggy out. That would be The Frau, trying not to show her red eyes. It’s funny how airports can be either the happiest or the saddest places, depending which gate you are at.

The Frau would like to say that the homesickness gets easier, but it doesn’t. It just gets more manageable as Switzerland becomes more like home. And if you just moved here nine weeks ago, congratulations, you survived the hardest time of year to be away from family. Things can only get easier now.

To deal with homesickness, The Frau recommends being an American. In other words, keep busy. Find a job, find a purpose, find a group of friends you enjoy being around. Or write a blog, write a journal, or write a book. These are some things that have helped The Frau.

Finally, don’t beat yourself up for feeling blue. It’s normal. If you didn’t miss your family and friends The Frau would be more worried.

As you know, you are not in Kansas anymore. So the next time someone cuts in front of you at the store or barges onto the train before you can get off, just click your red heels together and think, “there’s no place like home.”

Anyone else have tips on how to deal with homesickness?

The Apologetic Americans

2011-01-06T12:05:00.004+01:00

Hello, I'm an American and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I haven't posted for awhile. I'm sorry if you don't like this post. I'm sorry it's taking me so long to get to the point. Here it is: Every time I visit the U.S., I notice something different. This time it was how apologetic Americans are. Everywhere I went, people were sorry.

If someone came within two feet of me in the bookstore they were sorry. If the cashier took 30 seconds to wait on me she was sorry. If a shopper went around me (without even touching me!) in a clothing store, she was sorry. Is this politeness? Or is this insanity?

Here’s a news flash for all you Americans—you don’t need to be so passive and apologetic. In Switzerland, people are rarely sorry about anything. If they bump into you at the grocery store they just keep going. If they elbow you at the cheese counter, they wanted to. If they get on the train before you can get off, they’re not sorry. Granted, the word "sorry" in German is quite the mouthful so maybe that's why people don't bother saying it. But still. Americans are so sorry, they say “sorry” when they have nothing to be sorry about.

I’m sorry this post is so short.

Time for Nothing. The horror!

2010-12-20T11:28:00.004+01:00

It's that time of year again.

The time when this Frau gets really nervous because she has to do something extremely hard for an American: relax.

Switzerland has done wonders to calm her need to be busy at every moment, but she's still an American at heart and therefore way too antsy to just do nothing.

Still. The Frau is going to try. She is going to pretend like every day is a Swiss Sunday. She hopes you can be a little Swiss this holiday season too.

So, in honor of this strange, relaxing mindset, the Frau will say her holiday greetings, Swiss-style now: Frohe Weihnachten und ein glückliches Neues Jahr. Joyeux Noel et Bonne Année. Buon Natale e Felice Anno Nuovo. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from One Big Yodel.

Happy Talk

2010-12-13T21:04:00.006+01:00

Sometimes understanding German makes living in Switzerland more difficult. You hear insults. You hear stupid conversations. And you hear two twelve year old girls asking the Coop cashier how old they must be to buy cigarettes.

When she told them 16, they were very disappointed.

I was disappointed in them. Somehow, I wish I could have imagined that they were asking where the lollipops were.

I miss my little expat bubble sometimes. Living in reality can be much harder. Maybe I should move to the French section. Or better yet, the Romansch section. Everyone would be saying happy things there.

The Holiday Spirit

2010-12-07T09:58:00.003+01:00

Mountains. Snow. Christmas Markets. What else could you want?

Oh. Maybe the holiday spirit?

That's the one thing that was missing at the Innsbruck Christmas Market. Happy people.

At one store, I was buying a few Christmas ornaments with a friend so I asked for an extra bag. Nicely. In German. The salesclerk then threw the ornaments on the counter, got another bag, and threw them all in the other bag. Excuse me for giving her business.

At another stand, I picked up a wrapped loaf of bread to figure out what it was. It looked tasty and was covered in chocolate and I was considering buying it until all of a sudden I received a scathing lecture from the seller for touching it. I apologized, but this woman kept yelling. One of my friends, who speaks fluent German, stepped in and told this women we were sorry, we just thought her breads looked good and we wanted to see what they were. She kept yelling, "you should know better than to pick things up!" My friend told her that then she should have a "do not touch sign." "No!" said this woman, "It is common sense not to touch things!"

She was still yelling but I wasn't going to take it any more. I wished her a "Frohe Weihnachten" and then I walked off.

Later, we passed her booth and here's what we saw:

Happy Holidays from Austria.

Save money on your rent

2010-12-02T14:34:00.007+01:00

Sehr geehrte Damen und Herren

There's something your landlord probably isn't going to tell you.

The interest rates have fallen in Switzerland and therefore many renters are entitled to a rent decrease. The catch? Unlike rent increases (which have happened to us once already over the last four years) rent decreases don't typically happen automatically (unless you have a really nice landlord).

Please do not let language issues get in the way of your rightful savings like I have been guilty of doing in the past. Here are the basics about what you need to do:

1) Check your lease to see what the national reference rate that your current rent is based from (Hypothekarzinssatz). Our lease, from 2006, shows a rate of 3%, which was later raised in 2008 to 3.5%, which increased our rent a lovely SFr 150/month. The rate has just been lowered to 2.75%, so we should (fingers crossed) be entitled to a nice rent decrease.

2) To qualify for your decrease, you must send a letter by registered mail to the people you rent from. But don't worry, the letter is already written for you. You just need to download it and fill in the blanks. To download your letter, click here. As I understand it, you must send this letter within 30 days and every person listed on your lease must sign it. You can visit the renter's association website for more information by clicking here, where you'll also find the letter available in a Word document.

Here's to trying to save money in Switzerland! Good luck. And if anyone has information on where to find these letters in French, please let me know so I can add the links to help our friends on the other side of the roesti ditch.

Has anyone had success with rent reduction in Switzerland? Please share.

The Black Sheep Return

2010-11-26T13:49:00.004+01:00

Maybe you've noticed. Our friends, the black sheep, are back to being beat up on posters everywhere from the Zurich HB to your own backyard. The vote to deport foreign criminals is back on Nov 28.

Now. Let me get something straight. In principle, I have nothing against the idea that foreign criminals who commit certain kinds of crimes should be deported. Yes, they've broken the rules and why should Swiss people pay to lock them up?

But.

What I have against the whole argument is the way the SVP party presents it. With propaganda. With fear. A fear so great that it makes even non-criminal foreigners like me feel dirty. And a fear that makes its own sweet citizens, my neighbor included, put double locks on their doors and install security systems. All of this in a country as beautiful and crime-free as Switzerland.

I also have a problem with the issue because it includes the word "foreigner". What defines a foreigner? If I have a child in Switzerland and they grow up here, are they a foreigner too? Just because they don't have a Swiss passport? It seems like the foreign criminal issue is just an another excuse to discriminate.

What do you think?

To read more, visit my piece on Fear in Switzerland, over on swissinfo.

It could have been hell. But it was Swiss.

2010-11-17T21:15:00.006+01:00

In some countries, things just work. You pay for them. But they work.

Airlines, for example. This weekend, I flew Swiss from Zurich to Nice. Unfortunately, Nice wasn't very nice (it rained almost the entire time I was there) but Swiss was.

We had boarded the plane in Zurich and we were ready to taxi when the pilot realized something was wrong with the plane. In any other country (or with any other airline) this would have meant crazy delays and hassle, turning my weekend getaway into an extended airport stay. But with Swiss, this problem was taken care of like clockwork. "Naturally, we have another plane for you and we will be ready for take-off again in 45 minutes."

Yeah right.

But this is Switzerland. Within 45 minutes, as promised, we were on a new plane, a bigger plane, told we could spread out and make ourselves comfortable (yay, exit row!) and we were ready to take off, arriving in Nice only about 40 minutes behind schedule.

Then the French took about another 40 minutes to get us our luggage. But that's another story. A French one.

Dear Frau: Why is my visa taking so long?

2010-11-09T09:28:00.003+01:00

Welcome to another edition of Dear Frau. It’s kind of like Dear Abby, except with an international twist. If you have a question about life in Switzerland, don’t hesitate to contact The Frau. Then maybe your little Frage will be in the next edition of Dear Frau.

Dear Frau,

I'm trying to move to Bern but the process has been halted due to my work visa taking an unheard of amount of time to process. Did you run into any problems like this when you moved there? I keep calling the embassy to find out if it has been accepted, and they just tell me that it's still processing. I'm at my wit's end!

Any other tips would be greatly appreciated as well! I'm really enjoying reading your blog and I'm sure it will be a nice tool for me to use when I finally make it over there.

Thanks,

Visa Vixen

Dear Visa Vixen,

The Frau isn’t sure what an unheard of amount of time is to wait for a visa in Switzerland, except that an unheard of amount of time is normal. I mean, think about it, if good things come to those who wait, then Switzerland is worth its weight in gold. How else could the prices here be so insane?

But The Frau digresses.

Here's the thing: Bureaucracy is slow and stupid on purpose. This is due to one of two phenomenons:

Porn. (It's more exciting than your paperwork.)

Priorities

Look. In most countries, foreigners finish last. In Switzerland, it’s even worse because Swiss people have a train to catch. They have to go to lunch at noon. They have to do their laundry on Wednesday the 17th or wear dirty clothes for another three weeks. They are tired of being on time. And can you blame them? Punctuality is so ingrained in the culture that they can’t wait to slack. And who better to slack with than the foreigners?

So yeah. The Frau is not surprised that you’re still waiting on the visa. But look on the bright side. In the meantime, you’ll have plenty of time to read past columns of Dear Frau for more tips on moving to Switzerland.

Anyone else out there have advice for Visa Vixen?

Do you read Swiss Info’s Write On blog? For the next two months, The Frau will be blabbing over there as well as on One Big Yodel. God save the Internet. Click here to read the latest, where The Frau takes it upon herself to apologize to the entire confederation.

What the Swiss think of America

2010-11-02T20:17:00.006+01:00

Wow, it's all of America in one big logo, courtesy of the American Bar & Restaurant in St. Gallen. (Note: Believe it or not, the American Bar & Restaurant is actually a Swiss chain--they are also in hotspots like Brütten and Mutschellen.)

Of course, the Frau has been to the American Bar & Restaurant–on her birthday, of course. But you wouldn't expect any less of her, oder? For her first impressions of the restaurant, click here.

Now let's see. What do we have in this fantastic logo?

Football (an Illini player, they have good taste).

Police.

Big buildings.

Big birds.

Big rockets.

Big boats.

Big bridges.

Big parks.

And a bunch of presidents that are larger than life.

I'd say they did a good job summing up America. The only thing that could possibly be improved would be the addition of a big lawyer right in the center of it all (did you know a 4-year old can now be sued for negligence?).

Scary Worldwide: The Band Uniform

2010-10-27T09:23:00.009+02:00

In honor of Halloween, I wanted to share something that is a truly frightening phenomenon worldwide: the school band uniform. Pictured above is Baden's version (heads have been chopped off to protect the innocent).

What an outfit. Wow. Makes me feel better about that wool, navy and orange shoulder padded suit that I had to wear in high school.

Note to all band members: I know it's not your fault, but putting a feather in your cap is never a good idea.

Did you wear a band uniform in school and live to tell about it?

That will be 40K please

2010-10-22T14:42:00.004+02:00

Dear taxpayer,

That will be CHF 40,000 ($40,000). Please pay by tomorrow. In cash.

Love,

Switzerland

Ok. That's not exactly how Swiss taxes go, but essentially, you get a bill from the tax man for a staggering amount and are expected to hurry up and go transfer the money to them asap upon receiving your bill. Taxes are not deducted directly from paychecks in Switzerland, Swiss residents are expected to save part of their paychecks for the big tax bill that comes later, once a year.

Can you imagine this working in the United States? Please. The budget deficit is bad enough.

Dear Frau: How much cheaper are prices in Germany?

2010-10-17T13:12:00.008+02:00

Welcome to another edition of Dear Frau. It's kind of like Dear Abby, but with an international twist. If you have questions about life in Switzerland, don't hesitate to contact the Frau and maybe your little Frage will be in the next edition of Dear Frau.

Dear Frau,

You’ve discussed grocery shopping in Germany a few times on your blog. But how much can I really expect to save? Will it make up for the cost of my train ticket there?

Thanks,

Curious in CH

Dear Curious in CH,

Good timing. The Frau just went shopping in Germany (Waldshut) again over the weekend. But before we look at a few price comparisons, let’s talk in general. In 2009, Blick am Abend reported that Swiss grocers averaged 33% higher prices than German ones. Since then, the franc has gained on the euro, so the prices in Germany are even more advantageous to the Swiss shopper. I don’t know what your train ticket costs, but let’s take a look at a few prices, using the current euro-franc exchange rate, which is roughly 1 euro = 1.34 francs.

Note: In this example, Migros, Coop, Denner, and Manor are shops in Switzerland. Kaufland and Müller are the shops in Germany.

Note 2: When possible, exact brands have been compared. These are noted with an *.

Two ring binder:

at Migros: 3,50 CHF/at Kaufland: 1,33 CHF

Sesame Bagel:

at Coop: .98 CHF per bagel/at Kaufland: .44 CHF per bagel

1 Mango:

at Migros: 3,50 CHF/at Kaufland: 1,60 CHF

Leerdammer Cheese*:

at Denner: 4,95 CHF/at Kaufland: 2,67 CHF

Poco Loco Salsa Dip*:

at Denner: 2,45 CHF/at Kaufland: 1,33 CHF

Moevenpick ice cream*:

at Coop: 9,90 CHF/at Kaufland: 4,00 CHF

1 kilo chicken:

at Manor: 34,50 CHF/at Kaufland: 13,20 CHF

500 gram broccoli:

at Manor: 2,45 CHF/at Kaufland: 1,33 CHF

Nestle Shreddies*:

at Coop: 4,75 CHF/at Kaufland: 4,00 CHF

Tortilla Chips:

at Manor: 3,95 CHF/at Kaufland: 1,33 CHF

200 Q-tips:

at Denner: ,75 CHF/at Müller: ,33 CHF

Liquid Soap:

at Denner: 1,20 CHF/at Müller: ,87 CHF

TOTAL in CH: 72,88 CHF/TOTAL in DEUTSCHLAND: 32,43 CHF

Shopping Savings in this example: 55%

Note 3: This example may not reflect an average savings as for obvious reasons, the Frau tends to stock up on things she knows are cheaper in Germany.

Note 4: Prices include local taxes. If you shop in Germany but live in Switzerland, you can have the German taxes refunded, making shopping even cheaper.

Note 5: Remember that you have a CHF 300 spending limit or customs will fine you if caught, average fine is CHF 300 + duty. Also, there are limits on the amount of certain items you can bring into CH, for example, each person is only allowed 500 g of beef. For exact amounts allowed, click here, print it out and take it with you when you cross the border.

Happy shopping.

Do you border shop?

Extreme Angst in Baden

2010-10-11T11:02:00.005+02:00

Attention Yodelers,

We have another item worthy of news. Someone in Baden has thrown a pizza box into a trash bin that specifically says: Please do not throw pizza boxes in here.

The nerve. Can you believe someone didn't follow the rules? That a Swiss rule could actually attract the opposite of it? That's the subject in this article, from the 7. October Rundschau. Its title: Extremes.

Um, Please Stop Bauen For Me

2010-10-05T08:59:00.004+02:00

The cranes are back.

Here's what's going on around me:

In my building they are revamping a coffee shop to make it into a clothing store.

In the building directly across the street, they are remodeling a clothing store.

In the building directly next to mine, they are remodeling an eyeglasses store.

In the building kitty-corner from mine, they are getting ready to demolish it and build an office building.

Heaven help me.

The worst part is, almost all of these places have big posters up in their windows that say, "Wir bauen für Sie um." (We're building for you.)

Please. You're jackhammering at 7 a.m. You're throwing metal stuff into metal bins. And all that scaffolding is not exactly the icing on the cake.

Look, I've been in Switzerland long enough to know that there's some sick non-existant award for who has the shiniest store/apartment/office/clock tower that everyone is competing for, but just because you want to win, do not claim to be doing it for me. Because the next time one of your customers complains that they're getting wet from my garden hose, I'll just have to say, sorry, ladies and gentlemen, but um, I'm watering for you.

This weather sucks! What should I do?

2010-10-01T09:29:00.004+02:00

Hmm. The Frau tries not to be biased, but if you like books, you might want to attend an author reading that she is organizing on Sunday.

As part of the Zurich Writers Workshop this weekend, New York Times Bestselling Author Susan Jane Gilman and University of Oxford Fiction Tutor Amal Chatterjee will be reading from their works on Sunday, October 3, 2010 from 12:30-1:00 p.m. at Schoentalstrasse 8, 8004 Zurich. The event is free and open to the public. Books will be available for sale.

If that's not quite your thing, here are some other indoor options:

Andy Warhol Exhibit at the art museum in Basel.

Choir Festival in Appenzell (not sure exactly how indoors this is).

Funny Laundry performs stand-up comedy in Zurich.

Border Shopping Discussion on WRS

2010-09-29T16:00:00.006+02:00

Hi Yodelers,

On Thursday, September 30th, from 18:30 to 19:00, the Frau, a.k.a., moi, will be a guest on The Connectors, a radio show put on by World Radio Switzerland. This week's show will discuss border shopping, which, as you know based on my last post, I quite enjoy.

The station is 101.7 in Geneva or DAB+, Cable & Satellite Across Switzerland. Or you can listen live online. Hope to meet you on the airwaves.

Love,

The Frau

The Price of Trust

2010-09-27T09:35:00.005+02:00

On Saturday I was surrounded by more aisles and products than I knew what to do with. I found cloves. I found bags of tortilla chips for 1 Euro. I found Moevenpick ice cream for the equivalent of SFr 3,50. I was in heaven otherwise known as the border German grocery store.

As I was unloading the groceries from my cart at the check-out, the cashier said something to me that I couldn't quite hear above the din of hundreds of other Swiss and German shoppers around me.

"Wie bitte?" I asked.

The cashier repeated her statement. I realized that she wanted me to remove my wet umbrella from my grocery cart so she could check that I wasn't stealing anything.

As I picked up the umbrella, all I could think was, wow. I had almost forgotten what it was like to not be trusted.

Switzerland may be high on cost, but unlike its more affordable German neighbor, it is also high on trust. I had forgotten how nice a society of trust is.

I still enjoyed my German-priced Swiss ice cream, though.

Big News in Switzerland

2010-09-22T14:51:00.002+02:00

Stop the press! The Migros grocery store in Wildegg, Switzerland is now open during lunchtime!

Weekend in Switzerland: Flims

2010-09-14T19:21:00.001+02:00

Hi Yodelers,

As part of a hopefully-sort-of-regular column on this blog, The Frau will share some weekend ideas in order to prove that really, Switzerland isn’t boring!

This week we’re in Flims. Together with Laax, this famous ski resort is fun year-round. Turquoise lakes. Mountain rivers. And the “oh my God look at that” Rhine Canyon.

Day 1: Train to Chur. Postbus to the Caumasee bus stop where it’s a short hike down to the Cauma Lake (about 15 minutes). Chill out here for a while, take a swim, rent a paddleboat (CHF 15/hour), or just treat yourself to lunch or a snack at the lovely lakeside restaurant. Then it’s about a 45-minute to hike to Conn, where you will find a viewing platform for the Rhine Canyon. Say your exclamations, click your camera, and return to Waldhaus/Flims and have dinner at the Surselva Breau, a small local brewery with a great restaurant and even better beer.

Day 2: Take the cable car from Flims up to Naraus (21 CHF one-way or 27 CHF round trip) and hike to the Segneshütte. This is a panoroma hike so you’ll enjoy spectacular landscapes, a beautiful waterfall, and a mountain river before heading back down, either via cable car from Naraus, or if you’re there from July-October, you can take the bus back from Alp Nagens.

Other ideas:

Raft down the river

Hike the round-trip Rhine Canyon route

The Alpabzug (cow parade) takes place on the 18th in Flims. Watch the cows come home.

Rent a bike and take it up the ski lift in Flims and bike down.

Where to stay:

Hotel des Alpes in Waldhaus/Flims (right near the Caumasee bus stop and minutes from the torquoise Cauma Lake.) CHF 182/night for a double, including breakfast. It was a nice place, large rooms that included soap. Yes, free soap! Trust me, I celebrated. (Note: this was the cheapest hotel I could find in the area. I'll apologize for Switzerland and their prices now.)

Where to eat:

Surselva Breau. A fun brewery. They let me order both beer and from the kid’s menu. What’s not to like?

Remember:

To save money on these trips, why not use REKA checks? Hotel des Alpes will let you pay for half your room with these checks and the cable car people in Flims take them too.

Have you been to the Flims/Laax area? If so, please leave a tip. Happy yodeling!

Party Until the Cows Come Home

2010-09-07T20:59:00.006+02:00

Hi Yodelers,

Want to experience one of the classic Swiss events of the fall? Yes you do. September is Cow Party Month in Switzerland. So why not join the livestock parade? September is prime Cow Wearing Flowers And Man Wearing Yellow Knickers month. In German, these festivals, where the cows literally come home, are called Alpabzüge.

To make things easier to figure out, I've put together a list of most of these events over at ACC. Most cow parades are on Saturdays, starting from September 11th. The one you see pictured above is a photo I took of the parade in Urnaesch last year. This is the classic Appenzell event and will take place this year on September 18th. Happy yodeling.

What's your favorite cow parade in Switzerland?

Say Cheese

2010-08-31T14:00:00.002+02:00

Americans are often amazed that Europeans don’t smile.

“Tell me again, really? They don’t ever smile?”

“Not at you,” I reply.

They don’t smile at you because you are a foreigner and you scare them. Because if they give you one little smile, you might give them your entire life story. Come on, you know you would. In English. Without bothering to ask if they understood the language first.

And if Europeans don’t smile on the street, it might also be because it is August, 52 degrees, and raining. They aren’t smiling because they are worried that they might not see the sun again until May. I’ve been there. I live here.

But inside their homes, where they have families and sun lamps, Europeans smile.

Now I’m not saying any of this makes sense, I’m just saying that’s how it is. There are plenty of contradictions in American life too. An American isn’t afraid to reveal their entire life story to a stranger, but they would never bathe topless. Does this make sense either? I don't know. But it makes me smile.

The decision to move abroad

2010-08-27T08:47:00.003+02:00

Resigning from a job, selling a house and/or car, and leaving family and friends to move abroad can be scary. But I did it in 2006. And now I’m sharing the steps (in the order that they appeared) that led me to work up the nerve to move abroad:

Get fateful email from husband: “I got the offer.”
Google, “Should I move abroad?”
Eat lots of high fructose corn syrup.
Google, “Living abroad.”
Toss. Turn. Repeat.
Wear sunglasses to cover up bags under eyes.
Remember who is president (2006).
Repeat #7. A lot.
Go to work. Stare at vacation balance. Shake head.
Realize looking back and thinking, “what if?” would suck.

If you’re living abroad, what made you decide to go? If you’re not, what’s holding you back?

This post first appeared on my blog about the international writing life, Writer Abroad.

The Swiss Version of NASCAR

2010-08-23T09:34:00.005+02:00

Yesterday I attended the Aelplerfest in Frauenfeld, a three-day event featuring a Schwingen (Swiss wrestling) tournament, a Hornussen (a strange cross between golf and baseball) competition, and a Steinstossen (rock throwing) contest.

Besides these ah, let's call them "unique" events, the one thing that struck me was that this festival was the Swiss equivalent of NASCAR (Granted, I have not yet attended the International Trucker and Country Festival in Interlaken).

Obviously there was no race track here, but there were huge parking lots filled with a combination of tents, campers, and cars, half-naked men sleeping beside them, and guys drinking beer in the river. People wore their tickets NASCAR style-- as badges of pride--around their necks on lanyards, and they somehow found sitting in the 93-degree sun to watch a bunch of Swiss guys roll around in the sawdust worthwhile. And while I did not find any corn dogs or turkey legs, there was a nice offering of American food, including DoNuts.

I always love a good DoNut.

Register for the Zurich Writers Workshop

2010-08-17T14:34:00.005+02:00

Hello Yodelers,

It's about time that Zurich celebrated something other than banking, oder?

Well, that's where I come in. I'm co-founding the Zurich Writers Workshop, which will take place October 1-3, 2010. If you're interested in writing fiction or memoir, this weekend might be for you. You'll learn from instructors like New York Times Bestselling Author Susan Jane Gilman and University of Oxford Fiction Tutor Amal Chatterjee. You'll also get a literary tour of Zurich and you'll eat (what else?--) a lot of cheese. Sound good?

Registration is limited to about 24 participants and will be filled on a first-come, first-served basis.

For more information, click here. To register, click here. And please spread the word by sharing this post (see buttons below for your preferred choice of social networking options). Danke to all!

Business Class Upgrade on Swiss

2010-08-10T06:07:00.005+02:00

I was not looking forward to my 10-hour flight.

"There are no good seat on an airplane," I told my husband.

I was wrong.

There are seats on an airplane that don't involve bruised knees and armrest wars. They are called business class seats on long-haul Swiss flights. These seats allow you to recline all the way, read a newspaper without being handicapped by a mere page turn, and reap the rewards that only a 12 to 1 flight attendant ratio can bring.

I didn't want the flight to end.

I had a four-course lunch, which I could order from a menu, complete with a white tablecloth and food prepared by Hiltl, hand-scooped Moevenpick ice cream in a waffle cone, and non-stop beverage service. I can safely say, that in the 25 years since I started flying, this was the first flight I wasn't dehydrated, squirmy, or impatient.

I don't know how I'm going to return to my regularly scheduled squished state on my next flight, but sadly, I am not a business class regular. I wish I could tell you the secrets of being upgraded, but I have no idea why it happened. I didn't ask. I didn't complain. I didn't do anything. I just boarded the plane with 23B and got handed a receipt that said "seat upgrade to 10B."

And then, with my newfound fortune, I couldn't help but take photos, which, despite my first-class feeling, gave away my true status as an "economist."

Have you ever been upgraded? If so, what are your secrets?

3 Ways to Survive the Next Family Visit

2010-08-02T14:50:00.004+02:00

It’s that time of year again, when friends and family can’t wait to descend on their little expat. The problem is, the further you move from home, the longer your visitors come to stay.   It’s all great and fun for the first few days, until suddenly, you really have to pee and your father-in-law is on the toilet. Again.   

It happens to the best of us. The big blowout where at about day five of their visit, you just can’t quite stand to have these people you (used to) love in your little European apartment anymore.   I know because I’ve been there. For almost four years, visitors have come and gone while I’ve laughed, cried, and sometimes even screamed.  

Solution? Go on a trip together where you can have separate bedrooms and bathrooms. Below are a few ideas that will fit with various travel styles but still ensure that everyone can enjoy the time without driving each other crazy.

One: Rent an apartment or chalet in the Swiss Alps.

Renting an apartment costs about 1/3 of the price of a Swiss hotel room (average studio apartment cost is about CHF 60/night). The catch? You have to stay a week. Pas de probleme. Your guests are coming for at least that long, right? Yes. It’s time to get them out of your apartment and into someone elses’. Most tourist offices in Swiss resort towns can help you find an apartment that will meet your needs (i.e. two full bathrooms, etc). Or you can visit myswitzerland.com where there are apartment listings. I just spent a week in an apartment in Bettmeralp, near the Aletsch glacier, and it was wonderful. The apartment was clean and had everything we needed—including a fondue pot.

Two: Go on a Europe Cruise.

Say your family is like mine: a bunch of Americans that have big vacation ideas and even bigger checklists. A Europe Cruise is a great way for them to run around (I mean, see the top sites) while you sit back on board, European-style, with a coffee or glass of wine. Whether you cruise the Danube or the Rhine, go for 15 days or 8, river cruises through Europe can be a relaxing way to spend time with your family. And since you already live in the heart of Europe, they’re easy to get to. One company that offers a good variety of Europe cruises is Viking River Cruises.

Three: Discover your roots.

Many American families have roots in Europe. Heck, they may even call themselves Italians or Swedes even though they are through and through Americans and don’t speak a word of Italian or Swedish. One summer, my family discovered its Italian roots in northern Italy. We found a cemetery, furniture store, and monuments—all filled with our last name. We stayed in a little pension where the owner shared the same last name as one of my father’s cousins. We thought we’d fit right in. But we couldn’t talk to anyone. It was weird. And interesting. And worth it to find out we weren’t exactly as Italian as we thought.

Have you done any of these kinds of trips with your families? Or what do you recommend?

Uh + Oh

2010-07-26T21:04:00.003+02:00

A lot of expat life is about making educated guesses. For example, when presented with an oven that has the following three options:

Uh.

Oh.

Or Uh-Oh.

I chose Uh-Oh.

The lasagna turned out ok.

You never know.

Take off your Top: Zurich Swim Culture

2010-07-22T09:47:00.006+02:00

I didn’t know that the real definition of Frauenbad was topless sunbathing area, but I now am more educated.

Actually, at the Zürich Frauenbad, you get both extremes: from women fully covered in burkinis to women wearing nothing but their g-strings. Personally, I preferred the burkinis. But the men lingering on their little boats (and out on the balcony of the office building overlooking the Frauenbad) were definitely there for the latter.

I guess nothing says you’re in Europe like women sunbathing topless on a river deck and men on little boats in even smaller red speedos staring at these women through matching red sunglasses.

Previously, I had only been to the Frauenbad at night, when it is converted into a barefoot bar open to both sexes.

It’s much more interesting during the day.

How to play the alphorn

2010-07-20T10:55:00.003+02:00

I recently had the honor to write a story on the Swiss Alphorn School. I watched as beginners learned to blow their first note, advanced students played in harmony, and cows listened intently to it all.

The alphorn is difficult to play. I tried and failed. All notes are breath controlled. The instrument is 3 meters long. And if you haven’t previously played a horn instrument, it can be tough to make a sound. But when your practice room is a mountaintop and your audience is a cow, it’s definitely worth the effort to learn to play.

Read more about how to learn to play this unique Swiss instrument by reading my feature article, Alphorn school blows students away on swissinfo.ch.

Pool Party

2010-07-15T08:34:00.007+02:00

You can tell a lot about another country by going to the pool.

In the United States, just mention the word “lightning” and every local pool will be evacuated by the lifeguards.

In Switzerland, hear thunder, see lightning, and people keep swimming. Like they did yesterday evening during the big storm.

This sums up the difference between the United States and Switzerland in a nutshell: One country is run by the lawyers. And one country is run by the people.

Which kind of government do you prefer?

Paddle Boat on Lake Zurich

2010-07-12T09:26:00.004+02:00

On Saturday, I finally did something I've always wanted to do: rent a paddle boat on Lake Zurich.

Somehow, I was able to snag a boat without waiting despite the hot weather. They are not cheap, at CHF 26/hour, but if you think about it, that's really just the price of a Swiss hamburger, so take your pick.

Benefits to renting a paddle boat in Switzerland over the U.S.: (1) you don't have to sign your life away on an insurance form (in fact, you don't need to sign a form at all!), (2) you are not required to wear a life jacket, (3) no one will stop you from paddling to wherever the heck you please, and (4) you can bring beer.

As an American, I really felt free.

Anyhow, as I was paddling (and diving off the boat sans life jacket), I noticed that my paddle boat was inferior to some other paddle boats on Lake Zurich. My paddle boat was not a Mercedes.

Oh Switzerland, you constantly one-up me.

No wonder there wasn't a line for my kind of boat. No one in Zurich would want to be seen paddling so generically.

But I would do it again.

Admit it. Have you had the nerve to go generic in Zurich?

Dear Frau: Should I Move to Zurich?

2010-07-08T10:13:00.003+02:00

Welcome to the latest edition of Dear Frau. It's kind of like Dear Abby, except with an international twist. If you have a question about life in Switzerland, be sure to contact the Frau and maybe your little Frage will be in the next Dear Frau column. And as always, the Frau does not have all the answers and welcomes your solutions to these questions in the comments section.

Dear Frau,

My company would like me to relocate to Zurich. Whilst I am experiencing ‘London Fatigue’ my vision certainly did not include this city. Not even in my periphery.

I speak no German but some French if this might help? Whilst many seem concerned with moving with spouses, family housing and children’s schools my concern is me, myself and I. (Not that I am altogether selfish, truly!) So what it’s like as a single woman living in Zurich? Any recommendations for best areas to live? (Near or in the city, a fruit/veggie market & coffee shop if possible, a gym and green space to go for a run.) And I will miss my gaggle of girlfriends and would be great to meet some friends in Zurich, suggestions for groups to join? I daren’t ask about dating.

Lastly, I have lived abroad before and travel fairly often so know it’s important to be open – but have heard more negatives than positive about Zurich. Cold people, weather, rigid, unwelcoming, etc. that I am needless a touch wary. Would really appreciate a response.

Best,

Single in the City

Dear Single in the City,

You’ve got a lot of questions here, so let’s address one at a time.

Will French help? Um, probably as much as English or German will help. The problem with living in Zurich is that Swiss people in Zurich don’t speak French, German, or English. They speak Züri-deutsch, which is really another language entirely. Züri-deutsch is a Swiss German dialect. Swiss German is a secret language, which makes sense for a country with secret bank accounts, but doesn’t make much sense to expats, who try to learn German and then realize they still can’t understand anything without crossing the border.

What’s it like to be a single woman in Zurich? The Frau will just say this: Not only does “Frau” mean “woman” but it also means “wife.” Clearly Fraus are not meant to be single in German-speaking worlds. But look on the bright side—you won’t be taxed extra for being a married woman that works (yes, this is a fact of life in Switzerland. Please tell me why no one is protesting discrimination?).

To be honest, the Frau does not really know what it is like to be a single gal in Zurich, but she has friends that do know and is hoping they will comment here. She does know that one of her single friends dated many Swiss men and found them all boring. I guess these guys didn’t talk much and the Frau’s friend always felt like she had to lead the conversation. But the world has a lot of boring guys. The Frau’s friend may have just been unlucky. The Frau herself has a couple of Swiss guy friends that are so far from boring that they sing Frank Sinatra tunes in strip clubs to earn extra vacation days at their Zurich ad agency. Yes.

Any recommendations on where to live? The short answer: wherever you can find an apartment. Zurich has less than 1% vacancy so it's hard to be picky. The long answer: read Where should I live in Zurich? Be sure to check the comments. And don’t worry about green space and a place to jog. Foot trails in Switzerland are literally outside every doorstep.

Any suggestions for groups to join? I would start a blog and join the Swiss Expat Bloggers. That’s how I’ve met a lot of people. Blog writers tend to be younger and without children for the obvious reason that they have time to blog. There are plenty of other organizations in Zurich for expats, but these tend to be filled with wives of CEOs who have 2.5 kids, eat $50 lunches every day, and spend their time shopping at Prada. There’s nothing wrong with shopping at Prada. If you like purses.

Cold people, weather, rigid, unwelcoming? Cold people: yes, they can seem that way as they don’t usually smile or make small talk with strangers. But if you can get past their hard exterior the Swiss people are generally kind and loyal. Weather: you’ll be fine with it. You come from London. Rigid: yes, do not put your garbage out a minute too early or you will pay the price. Unwelcoming: yes, there is a lot of xenophobia in Switzerland. On one hand, can you blame the Swiss when 20% of their country is foreign? On the other hand, the discrimination against certain kinds of foreigners is outright embarrassing for a country that prides itself on being neutral. The United Nations agrees.

Ok, yodelers, the Frau does not have all the answers. Let’s help Single in the City make a wise decision. Should she move to Zurich? The Frau thinks she should. She thinks there's a reason so many expats come to Switzerland and then never leave. What do you say?

Gardening in High Heels

2010-07-05T11:15:00.004+02:00

I am back at Swiss gardening boot camp. Yes. My 75-year-old Swiss neighbor is doing my gardening in her high heels. Again.

Yesterday, she knocked on the door to ask my husband to help her with driving directions but since we all know she has a GPS, this was really just an excuse to get inside our apartment.

Anyhow, after getting the directions, she went onto our balcony and analyzed every bush and plant that needed weeding and every concrete planter that needed shining. Then she started yanking out one of our dead plants by its roots.

“I love doing this,” she said, grabbing at the dead evergreen while never once wobbling on her high heels.

We are now borrowing (not out of choice, mind you) her pressure washer, her hand held weed wacker, and her little garden saw.

Her tools are better than ours, we are told.

Discovering Who I Am

2010-07-01T18:38:00.000+02:00

Does living abroad help define you as a person? Before I moved abroad I defined myself like this: one-quarter Italian, one-quarter Polish, one-fifth English, 12.5 percent Danish, 10.5 percent Swedish and seven percent German. That was me. Really.

But while I could easily pass for a European with my name alone, there was, unfortunately, the rest of me. My language options were English or English; I thought all cheese was bright orange; and I wore things like sweatpants – in public.

I had a lot to learn. It wasn't until one day, a few months after moving to Switzerland, that I looked down at my Nikes as I was standing among a sea of stilettos and realized something: I was an American.

Happy 4th of July.

To read more, check out my essay, Hello Heritage, in Swiss News this month.

Only in Switzerland, Part II

2010-06-28T09:30:00.000+02:00

Front page news. Yes.

For Only in Switzerland, Part I, click here.

American Spirit in Switzerland

2010-06-24T09:31:00.006+02:00

The American team won a game. Not lost. Not tied. Won. Yes. So to honor this great accomplishment, my husband and I set up our American flag on a tripod to give Switzerland a little Yankee spirit.

The whole world feels like it's on some strange vacation. Business people fill the streets (and bars) by 16.00. There's a strange phenomenon going around known as World Cup voice (i.e. it means you have no voice). And you can tell who is winning by not even watching the games due to the screams in the streets.

Have you been playing hooky from work? I mean, have you been watching the World Cup?

Anything for Sun (and Sales)

2010-06-21T09:14:00.004+02:00

When you live under a gigantic cloud (uh, I mean, in Switzerland), the summer can be stressful. Last week, the sun came out for maybe three hours. And when it did, I was desperate.

“Let’s go for a bike ride,” I told my husband on Friday night, when the sun decided to come out at 7 p.m. after an entire week of rain.

“Now?” he asked. We had just eaten dinner.

“Now,” I said, pointing at the blue sky, “Hurry.”

When you only see a few hours of sunshine a week, you have to get outside when it shines. Fast.

It’s kind of a stressful way to live, never knowing when your next bit of sun will shine.

The Swiss sun makes me drop everything I’m doing when it comes out. Speaking of dropping everything, Migros announced a 10% off sale last Thursday to celebrate the Swiss win. I hurried there. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think I was about to save hundreds rather than CHF 10.

Yep. That’s when you know you’re becoming Swiss: you’ll drop everything for a little sun. Or a 10% off sale.

Dear Frau: Save me from the smoke!

2010-06-17T08:00:00.003+02:00

Dear Frau,

I lovvvvvvvvvvvvve Switzerland. It's beautiful, safe, and clean. But why is it that a person cannot walk down the streets of Bern or Zurich without having cigarette smoke sprayed in their face. I am constantly bombarded by the vile smoke while eating at outdoor cafes, walking down the street, and waiting for a train. What do you suggest I do or say the next time this occurs?

Sincerely,

An American Who Lives in and Loves Switzerland

Dear An American Who Lives in and Loves Switzerland,

The Frau is also fed up with living in a cloud of smoke. Or is that fog?

Sometimes it’s hard to tell in Switzerland. The sky is always gray no matter what.

Cough.

That’s how you tell.

Anyway, the Frau has had clothes ruined, had to change offices, and endured red eyes all so a bunch of Swiss people could voluntarily give themselves cancer.

Even though we Americans learned at a young age that the mere sight of a cigarette might kills us, the Swiss don’t care because despite their habits, they have the fourth longest life expectancy in the world.

Maybe you’ve seen some of them hiking the Alps in that not-so-fresh-anymore mountain air. One of them was once my father-in-law. Sorry. He wanted to be more Swiss.

Anyhow, let’s get to the point. Your question was what to do or say. The Frau doesn’t really know what to tell you because anyone that buys something that clearly says “it kills” on the package is probably beyond help. But here are some things the Frau and her friends have done for the cause, including the various Swiss responses:

Test One: Put up an ad campaign in her Zurich office showing images of non-smokers’ lungs vs. smokers’ lungs with labels matching appropriate employee names with the images.

Response from chain-smoking boss: Laugh. Cough. Laugh. Nice try, but that crap doesn’t work with me. Puff.

The Frau’s response: Fine, she wants a new office.

Test Two: A Swiss friend asked a man smoking a cigar at a soccer game in Basel to please put it out so the Frau could sing the American national anthem without choking.

Response from cigar smoker: Ok. Puff. Put out cigar under seat.

The Frau’s response: The most she’s ever cheered at a soccer game.

Test Three: Gave dirty look to man smoking in train car.

Response: He went out into the hallway and continued smoking there.

The Frau’s response: Bathroom break. The air smelled better there.

Other ways to protest when you get smoked on: Fart. Spit. Spray air freshener.

Fight back, non-smokers, fight back.

The good news is that it has now been many decades since science proved that smoking sucks, so now that an extremely long time has passed, some restaurants and bars in Switzerland are finally listening. Change is good, Switzerland. Really.

And look on the bright side. Those cigarette butts give the street sweeper a reason for being. He needs one, poor guy.

How do you respond to all this Swiss smoke?

Want a C Permit? Take that test.

2010-06-14T13:43:00.003+02:00

After five years living in Switzerland on a B permit, most Americans and Canadians can apply for a C permit, which has certain benefits like 1) it’s good for an entire five years instead of just one and 2) it makes it easier to get a job and freelance like a normal person.

But here’s the catch: you must prove you have made an effort to integrate in order to receive the C permit. Never mind if you speak fluent Deutsch at the Migration Office, as we learned before, they are not paying attention to your Deutsch. They are looking at...um. Yeah.

So it doesn’t matter if you’re fluent, it matters if you have a piece of paper. After all, we are in Switzerland, people. Logic isn’t important. Paper is. The more expensive the paper, the better.

That’s why I’m going to spend over CHF 300 to take the Goethe Zertifikat B2 test. Because one of my German-speaking American friends was just refused a C permit despite logic. A fluent German speaker who had lived here for five years on a B permit, she must now wait another two years to apply for her C permit because she was ohne test certification when she filled out the paperwork.

Moral of the story: If you’ve been taking a German class (or are just naturally good at German) and have reached at least the A2 level, take the appropriate test in case you overstay your expected Swiss residency and want that C permit, after all. The next Geothe tests are in August/September and you must register for them by July 15. At minimum, you must pass the A2 test or higher to prove proficiency as far as the permit is concerned. Real life is another story.

Note: For a C permit, you must prove language proficiency of the language spoken in your canton. If you live in Zurich and have French certification, that’s great, but it doesn’t matter on your permit application. C'est la vie.

The 10 Steps of Learning German in Switzerland

2010-06-08T21:03:00.005+02:00

There is a clear progression of how English-speaking foreigners deal with learning German in Switzerland. It goes kind of like this:

1. Grüezi. Sprechen Sie Englisch?

2. I'm so excited to learn a new language!

3. I'll be fluent in no time!

4. Hallo, Schweiz! Der, Die, Das, ich kenne etwas!

5. Was? There is also a Den, Dem, Denen, and Des? Echt?

6. Now I'm too scared to talk. I'll get it all wrong.

7. Fine I'll talk. I'll just turn every der, die, das, den, dem, denen, and des into a "duh".

8. I can talk now! I'll go to the flea market and show off! Was kostet das? Was? What is this "foyf" you're saying? I know my numbers, dang it!

9. Crap. I took three years of German and still understand nothing on the streets in Switzerland.

10. Grüezi. Sprechen Sie Englisch?

The Frau is on Vacation

2010-06-03T08:30:00.002+02:00

It's a holiday in Baden today (and Baden only!) and The Frau is going to make the most of it. So she will not be answering questions this week, but be sure to contact her if you've got a little Frage that's just begging to be answered. She's back in business next week with her Dear Frau column. Ja.

In the absence of advice, The Frau wanted to update you on a few things she's written in the last month that she thinks you might like (remember she's biased, of course):

Switzerland: A Scary Place to Call Home (Is the Swiss People's Party ruining the country for the very people it's trying to protect?)

Great Mountain Hikes in Switzerland (Looking for a little sun? The Frau is! It's time to go up a few thousand feet.)

The Two Most Popular Expat Locations (Think about it...where do you live most of the time?)

The Search for Small Talk (The Frau wishes she could stuff small talk in her suitcase along with all that Mac & Cheese. But alas.)

A Year in the Merde author Stephen Clarke talks about how to sell your Expat novel as well as the sad state of cheddar sandwiches in the UK.

How about you? Read anything good on expat life or Switzerland lately? Leave a comment and/or a link. As usual, shameless self-promotion is encouraged.

Why does it take so long to get your permit?

2010-05-31T13:16:00.013+02:00

As an American in Switzerland, every year, I must renew my B-permit in order to live here legally. In 2008, it took over four months to get my permit renewed. That's a third of a year. Yes. To process one sheet of paper. Other times, it's taken two months, sometimes three. This year is still to be determined, but it's a snail's pace so far--I've already waited over a month.

Because of these amazing lengths of time, I have often wondered what exactly the Migration department in Canton Aargau does with my renewal paper.

Are they making complex origami figures with my paper and displaying it at the Kunsthaus? Are they doing experiments in dust collection? Or are they just too busy looking at porn to bother with my application for B-permit renewal?

Well, now it's official. We can blame the porn.

At least in Zurich, porn is one of the reasons given for problems with the Migration department. Zurich-based solicitor Ueli Vogel-Etienne has cataloged a list of failures on behalf of the migration department: disregard of working hours, routine circulation of porn via the department's email system, staff surfing the Internet during working hours, office workers not ever reachable during office hours. Wow. Switzerland isn't innocent, after all.

As far as I know, Canton Aargau's migration department's efficiency has yet to be investigated. But since I've already waited over a month for my permit to be renewed so far this year, I would recommend a little Aktion on Mr. Vogel-Etinenne's behalf.

After all, it just doesn't make sense that when a Swiss train is one minute late it is cause for a heart attack, but when a foreigner's piece of paper delayed for four months, it is no big deal.

How long have you waited for your permit to be renewed?

Dear Frau: This weather sucks!

2010-05-27T13:12:00.009+02:00

Welcome to the latest edition of Dear Frau. It's kind of like Dear Abby, except with an international twist. If you have a question about life in Switzerland, be sure to contact the Frau and maybe you're little Frage will be in the next Dear Frau column. And as always, the Frau does not have all the answers and welcomes your solutions to these questions in the comments section.

Dear Frau,

What is up with the weather in Zurich? It rains almost every day. And what the heck is there to do when it’s Sunday or a holiday and all the stores are closed and the weather still sucks?

Danke,

Soggy in Zurich

Dear Soggy in Zurich,

Look on the bright side. At least you don’t live in Bergen, Norway, where it rains about 235 days a year.

Zurich does get more rain than many European cities and The Frau has a friend that got so depressed by the gray skies that she bought a sun lamp.

It can be frustrating to watch, but the Swiss are so used to bad weather, they don’t even seem to notice it (maybe you’ve seen them sitting outside in cafes when it’s 5 degrees outside). The Frau’s neighbor even goes flowering picking in the rain.

Anyhow, if you’re the type that would like to stay dry, here are some Sunday and holiday suggestions for making all this rain tolerable:

Visit the Frau’s recommended Swiss museums worth your time and money

Read a good book. The Frau has collected a list of especially good reads for expats.

Go to the spa or to your nearest indoor pool.

Go to a movie. Movies listed as E/d/f, for example, are in English with German and French subtitles. Remember that movies here come with an intermission. No, the film is not broken even though they may have cut Tom Cruise off mid-sentence. It’s just time to get a beer.

Read a good blog. Here’s a new arrival to the Swiss Blogging community: Expat CH by Bill Harby. Or check out the latest on swissinfo's Write On blog. They change writers here every two months, so you'll always get a fresh take on things.

Take a cooking class. For example, Hiltl often offers Sunday classes.

Plan your next vacation. Ideally to Dry Valley in Antarctica.

Ok, the Frau is running out of ideas. Anyone else want to chime in to help Soggy in Zurich? What do you do when it rains on Sunday?

Zurich’s Opposite

2010-05-25T16:07:00.002+02:00

After conducting much research (uh, I mean travel) in Europe over the last four years, I have come to the conclusion that Zurich’s sister city should be Copenhagen. Copenhagen appears to be the complete opposite of Zurich, so they would compliment each other nicely.

People in Copenhagen:

Wear sweats

Wear bright colors

Wear tank tops and shorts

Go barefoot

Shop on Sundays

Smile

Make small talk with foreigners (and with each other)

Wait 15 minutes for a bus before checking their watches

Anyone else have a take on what city is Zurich’s opposite?

Seven Things That I Should Clean

2010-05-20T13:42:00.005+02:00

Living in Switzerland has redefined my definition of clean. In fact, after living in Switzerland, it's hard to travel anywhere at all without being utterly disgusted by so much lurking filth.

For instance, will you just look at this pollen. What nerve to just fling itself down on a Swiss street. It will be sorry. The street sweeper can't be far.

Anyhow, here is a list of seven things I never considered "dirty" before I moved here:

1. Orchid leaves (use face oil to really make shine)
2. My gutter (should have drinkable water in it)
3. Public trash can (you have seen these being shined in Zurich, haven't you?)
4. Sink spout (my relocation agent was disappointed that mine weren't cleaner before I moved in)
5. Washing machine soap dispenser (soak in vinegar for maximum gleam)
6. Planter (they get dusty without rain–no problem with that this spring!)
7. Concrete (for maximum shine, borrow my neighbor's Hochdruckreiniger. She wants you to use it.)

Oh, Switzerland. How much you've taught me.

How has Switzerland redefined your definition of dirt?

Have Your Fondue and Be Fit Too

2010-05-18T07:48:00.000+02:00

Guest post by Noah of Noprobo.com.

Many years ago I resolved to live a fit life. Exercise, sweat wicking t-shirts, brightly colored drinks… all that good stuff. So I felt fortunate moving to Switzerland; it's one of the healthiest countries in the world.

Then came the shock.

-Gym memberships: 95 CHF per month.
-Exercise equipment: Underpowered, overpriced.
-Energy gels: 3.20 CHF each, compared to $0.90 back home.

These are the meat and potatoes of amateur athletes! Yet they weren’t just a bit more expensive here; they were prohibitively expensive. All of a sudden, Switzerland felt like a giant beer gut.

So I asked a friend – against all accounts I made Swiss friends quickly – how Switzerland is so healthy. "Is it because of exercise?"

"That, and the food."

"Fondue?" I teased.

But the more I thought about it the more it made sense. “Bad” food is the exception, not the norm. Many Swiss live healthy lifestyles by default. Trying to shoehorn my idea of fitness into theirs was where I went wrong. I wasn't doing as the Romans do.

With that in mind, here's how to get/stay in shape, the Swiss way:

Eat well: Junk food isn't a staple of the traditional Swiss diet. Trips to the farmers’ market and home-cooked meals are.
Forget the gym: Choose an activity you see Swiss people doing. Biking, tennis, soccer, skiing. There are great deals on used equipment at pawn shops, Local.ch and Ricardo.ch.
Forget exercise equipment: Pieces of machinery like recumbent bikes and treadmills are too big and noisy to be compatible with this country.
Order abroad: If you really need fitness foods, buy from abroad and swallow the associated fees. It's cheaper.
Get outside: There's an excellent selection of trails and activities set across an awe-inspiring landscape. Take advantage of it!
Use those Sundays: I used to wonder where everyone was on Sundays. They're skiing, they're hiking, they're biking.

There you have it: how to be fit in the land of cheese and chocolate. Have anything to add? How do you stay in shape in Switzerland?

Noah Arobo lost over 50 lbs despite his love of raclette and rösti. Read more at Noprobo.com.