Great Reads for Expats

Today, I'm over at ACC with a few of my favorite expat reads. I tend to like memoirs with the universal theme of reinvention abroad since that's been the theme of my life the last few years.

What are your favorite books on expat life?

Dear Frau: I want to be a Swiss journalist!

Welcome to the third edition of Dear Frau. It's kind of like Dear Abby, except with an international twist. If you have a question, be sure to contact the Frau and maybe your Frage will be in next week's Dear Frau column.

Dear Frau:

I come from Sri Lanka and formerly worked as a journalist there. I want to join the media here, but I’ve had problems due to language issues. The government only provides me with German courses, they will not let me go to journalism school or to the university. What should I do?

Danke,

Hopeful Journalist

Unfortunately, problems due to language issues are not a unique situation to foreigners living in Switzerland. Even the Swiss are often confused and speak to each other in non-official languages like English (except the French-speaking Swiss. They may know other languages, but they only and ever speak French).

Despite her 2.5 years of German language training, the Frau has accepted that she will never be able to be a German journalist or German copywriter. No matter how well you learn and speak a language, writing in it professionally is something that very few can do well as non-native speakers. That’s why so many companies in Switzerland seek native speakers for certain jobs.

The Frau knows she is fortunate to speak English as a native language and be able to continue her writing career because there are English publications in Switzerland. Even so, there aren't that many, so she still must look outside of Switzerland for opportunities. Let’s just say the Frau will not be writing for the NZZ anytime soon.

The Frau would never tell anyone to give up, only that as a non-native English, German, French, and Italian speaker, she thinks you have a tough road ahead as a journalist writing for Swiss publications. Competition for jobs these days is tight enough and as a writer, your language skills must be near perfect. Even the Frau worries she might misspell things and this freaks her out.

The Frau’s advice would be to try to continue to work for your former newspaper in Sri Lanka. Do they need international news? Could you be their Swiss or European correspondent? Could you write travel articles about Europe for other Sri Lanken publications? As a writer abroad, you must learn to be creative in ways writers in their home countries don't have to be. Try to think outside the box. The other option is to reinvent yourself completely and think of other things you love and could do in Switzerland with less barriers to employment.

Whew. The Frau hopes she's not being discouraging here, just realistic. Anyone else have advice for our Sri Lankan journalist? Feel free to disagree with the Frau's advice. How have some of you reinvented yourselves abroad?

Not Exactly Easy Cheese

How different is living in Switzerland versus living in the United States? One way to find out is through cheese. Both countries have it. The difference is that one sells cheese in aerosal cans and one does not. But for those whose lives (ahem, moi) were previously processed to perfection, getting used to the real stuff is not without pain.

Read how adjusting to Swiss life is "Not Exactly Easy Cheese" in this month's Expat Adventure column in Swiss News, written by yours truly.

Stop the Press! We sell Coca-Cola now!

Is anyone as amazed as I am that Migros (a large supermarket chain in Switzerland) is running an ad campaign to tell the world that they now sell things as unique as Coca-Cola? Wow. It's like it's news that people in Switzerland do drink things besides Rivella.

Let's see. Coke has been around since 1886, so Migros is only, well, 124 years behind the times. Now that's a thing to advertise.

Dear Frau: Where are the Expat Families?

Welcome to the second edition of Dear Frau. It's kind of like Dear Abby, except with an international twist. If you have a question, be sure to contact the Frau and maybe it will be featured on next week's Dear Frau.

Dear Frau,

We’re moving from the U.S. to Baden, Switzerland. I am a stay-at-home mom and have two kids (ages 1 and 3). I am worried because it seems like most people that move to Switzerland are married with no kids. Do you see a lot of families in that area?

Danke,

Newcomer

The Frau knows it's hard to believe, but The Internet lies sometimes. It may seem as if most expats in Switzerland don't have kids, but that is because most Swiss expat bloggers are married with no kids. Most parents don't have time to keep up a frivolous thing like a blog. They're too busy trying to determine what the heck their child, who now speaks Swiss German, was saying.

But the Frau digresses. There are hundreds of Americans with children in Switzerland. Many of them never leave. If you don't believe her, check out The American Women’s Club of Zurich. This organization especially caters to American women and their children. The Frau found out the hard way by joining and then feeling left out because she was ohne Kinder.

Anyhow, Switzerland loves families and will probably grant you those coveted B-permits right away because you are a stay-at-home mom and that’s what this country desires all women to be. That first morning the Frau went out in Baden, she saw hundreds of women pushing baby carriages, sitting at cafes smoking, and buying groceries. Don’t people work here? She thought.

The answer is no. Many married women do not work in Switzerland, and this includes the foreigners. The thing is, Swiss society does all it can to keep it this way. They keep stores open only until 6 p.m. They send children home from school at lunchtime. And childcare isn’t readily available (or affordable) unless there are grandparents nearby.

That said, the Frau thinks Switzerland is a wonderful place to raise children if one of the parents is committed to staying at home. And your kids will love Switzerland because the big slide parks haven’t been taken down and replaced with boring plastic tubes in order to avoid lawsuits and therefore avoid fun.

But the Frau is no expert on kids so here are a few other websites to check out:

Mami Zeit is a website for international moms.

Swiss Family Mac is a great blog written by an American mother of two. You don't have to be a mom to love Mrs. Mac's sense of humor.

Now, the Frau has run out of ideas. Anyone else have some advice? What’s living in Switzerland like with kids (or family members that act like kids)? Any other resources or blogs to know about for our newcomer? If you've got a blog about being a mother abroad, please leave a link!

Don't Get Burned! Rules for a Swiss Parade

To attend the Chienbäse parade in Liestal, there are a few rules (we are in Switzerland after all) that you must abide by. These rules have been translated courtesy of Google Translate and commented upon courtesy of yours truly:

-Come early! (Especially if you don't want front row seats!)

-Oops, sparks! Wear a hat and appropriate old clothes made of natural materials. (Thanks, Switzerland. I wore my Land's End bright blue coat from 1988 and it got holes burned through it. This is sort of sad because neon blue was just coming back in style. But no matter, the coat was an XXL anyhow. Next time I'll wear a metal colander on my head. I noticed those are all the rage at this event).

-No children under 6 years of age and animals in the vicinity of the parade. (But children are allowed to participate in the parade by carrying flaming broomsticks on their shoulders).

-People with health complaints, and slaw-walkers will be discouraged from attending and we recommend the direct transmission of Tele Basel. (I don't know what a slaw-walker is, but I do know that this parade will leave you blowing ash out your nose for at least, let's see 15 hours after the fact. If you don't want dirty Kleenex, watch it on TV).

-Make enough distance to the fire wagon and Chienbäseträgern. (This will happen naturally as you avoid getting burned. Unless you're trying to grill a sausage. Then you don't care.)

-There is no road crossing during the procession. (The road is covered in confetti, flaming logs, and ash. Covering a flaming parade route with paper confetti is not discussed as a fire hazard because the whole point of the event is to have a fire.)

-Keep an escape route free. (But keep in mind the beer tent is already full).

-The burning of fireworks is prohibited. (But cigarettes and cigars are encouraged).

-People with claustrophobia should not watch! (Those who do not want a face full of ash are also encouraged to stay home.)

-And remember: You live with the move on their own responsibility in the minds of all the dangers that may arise from the fire. The organizer disclaims all liability for damages due to careless behavior, and by flying sparks! (Sorry, Americans, no lawsuits will be honored. Now go home to your "this item may be hot" coffee-cup country.)

Dear Frau: My German Class Sucks!

Welcome to the first edition of Dear Frau. It's kind of like Dear Abby, except with an international twist.

This column will run every Thursday on One Big Yodel because I get a lot of good questions from readers via email and it's a shame not to share them so everyone can benefit. Anyhow, from now on, if you have a question, feel free to email me and maybe it will be featured in next week's Dear Frau.

Dear Frau,

My German class sucks. The students are unmotivated. The students are drunk. The students fall asleep during the lessons. What should I do?

Danke,

Motivated Student

Wow. First off, to make myself feel better, I would read Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris. He takes French lessons in this book and his class sucks too. Bonus: The book is in English and costs less than a German class.

Secondly, I wouldn't underestimate the power of being drunk. Personally, I find the more I drink, the better my German gets.

Thirdly (and most seriously), I would get a good luck charm. Because here's the thing: good language classes all come down to luck. You either get a good teacher and a good group of students or you get a bunch of people who like to pay to speak English.

That said, if you can afford private lessons, I have two good teachers I can recommend in the Zurich area and I'm happy to give out their contact info. One of these teachers smiles a lot (Italian heritage) and that's worth paying for in itself.

Also, Kathy, of Two Fools in Zurich, did a guest post on German learning a few months back. It might inspire.

But at this point, the Frau has run out of ideas. Anyone else have some advice? What should our motivated student do?