Thursday, October 11, 2012

Nationalities of the world and their reaction to babies


Baby M's fifth country, France
In honor of Baby M's first birthday (the poor little thing has been dragged to five countries in her short 12 months), the Frau would like to share something about the nationalities of the world and their reaction to babies–specifically hers.

Ireland: Of course we have highchairs at this pub. Come right this way. Would she like to enjoy a Guinness coaster or does she prefer to suck on a Connemara Whiskey one?

France: Ooh! What a bon bébé. Kiss. Kiss. Voilà! One kiss for each fat cheek, bébé. Ooh, bon, let moi feed you the petit-déjeuner. Oh bébé, let moi wipe your runny nose. Oh bébé, mais non, can’t you see dees toy worm eez better dan dees toy worm. The colors are so much more pleasing, on dees one n’est pas? Oh bébé, did moi just hear you say “oui?” Très bien, bébé! Learn many languages, but only ever speak zem in French.

Germany: Entschuldigung, are you something from our grocery store in that enormous stroller of yours stealing?

Switzerland: You should dress her more warmly. You should put socks on her feet. You should make sure the blanket doesn’t ride up to her knees. You should get off the bus with the stroller facing forwards. You should not block the sidewalk with that stroller. You should not be out at 11:01 a.m. on a Monday. You should go home. You should cook. Your husband should be coming home for lunch in 58 minutes and 11 seconds.

United States: She’s crying. She probably has gas. What, you’re just going to let her cry? But we have drops for that. This is America and we have something for everything. Do you have Baby Tylenol? That will solve her sleeping problems. Now, please sign on the dotted line before you place her in this highchair. We cannot take responsibility for injury, choking, or hot beverages that may or may not get spilled. No, I cannot possibly hold her while you sign on the dotted line. What if I abuse her by mistake or something? 

15 comments:

Juanita said...

L.O.L !

Anonymous said...

Great musings! Did that really happen to you in Germany, what a humiliation!!! I'm sorry for my compatriots. The french way is so much nicer, isn't it, that is why I adore being in Paris.

Bises

Sylvia

Pat said...

Isn't amazing how everyone in the world is zee baby expert? Reminds of when my own children were babies growing up in Paris under the ever watchful eyes of zee Francais!

swisssidejewelleryetc said...

Chantal,
I am crying with laughter over the Switzerland one, because, however much I love life here, I swear that EXACTLY all those things were said to me too when my children were small!
Vicky

Bela said...

Hilarious. Especially the Swiss reaction. At least here in Geneva they would probably have added 'Make sure she does not cry, coo, gurgle, babble between 9.58 pm and 7.02 am'

Bela
http://cowsandcliches.blogspot.ch/

Bela said...

Hilarious. Especially the Swiss reaction. At least here in Geneva they would probably have added 'Make sure she does not cry, coo, gurgle, babble between 9.58 pm and 7.02 am'

Bela
http://cowsandcliches.blogspot.ch/

Chantal said...

Sylvia, the actual words were not said in Germany, however, the look I got from the cashier said exactly that!

C. said...

Hysterically accurate! I particularly identified with the Swiss reaction since everytime my Canadian-reared son ventured outside when the temperature was under 15c, I was tut-tutted for not having a hat, button-up coat and scarf on him. I can only imagine my neighbours' horror upon seeing him jumping on the trampoline in winter in only his judo outfit!

Hattie said...

Oh god. I have experienced reactions to ze babies in so many countries! You may exaggerate, but not much!

Christine said...

Don't forget Italy: "Bella, bellisima, bella! Have some tortellini, then some meatballs, then some gelato! That baby is too thin! (The rest of the adults at the table can wait to order until the baby has had his or her 4courses...)

Christine said...

Don't forget Italy: "Bella, bellisima, bella! Have some tortellini, then some meatballs, then some gelato! That baby is too thin! (The rest of the adults at the table can wait to order until the baby has had his or her 4courses...)

Elisa @ Globetrotting in Heels said...

This.Is.Hilarious :-D

ah, the many "you should"s of Switzerland!

Anonymous said...

Dear Chantal,


I'm french & I live in Zurich.

I recognized immediatly the place la Libération in my home town Dijon in Burgundy.

When were you there ?


Warmest regards,

Rachel from Zurich

Chantal said...

Hi Rachel,

Yes! And I loved Dijon. I didn't know what to expect, it's not high on most tourist agendas, but it is a really beautiful city. And so close to Zurich!

sarah saad said...


اهم شركات نقل العفش والاثاث بالدمام والخبر والجبيل اولقطيف والاحساء والرياض وجدة ومكة المدينة المنورة والخرج والطائف وخميس مشيط وبجدة افضل شركة نقل عفش بجدة نعرضها مجموعة الفا لنقل العفش بمكة والخرج والقصيم والطائف وتبوك وخميس مشيط ونجران وجيزان وبريدة والمدينة المنورة وينبع افضل شركات نقل الاثاث بالجبيل والطائف وخميس مشيط وبريدة وعنيزو وابها ونجران المدينة وينبع تبوك والقصيم الخرج حفر الباطن والظهران
شركة نقل عفش بالرياض
شركة نقل عفش بالطائف
شركة نقل عفش بالدمام
شركة نقل عفش بجدة
شركة نقل عفش بمكة
شركة نقل عفش بالمدينة المنورة
شركة نقل عفش بينبع
شركة نقل عفش بالخرج
شركة نقل عفش بالقصيم

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