Foreigner or Expat in Switzerland?

Seven years ago yesterday, The Frau arrived in Switzerland.

Yipee. Should she feel different?

Oh no, yodelers, because here's the thing: no matter how long she lives her life in Switzerland, she'll always be a foreigner.

She wasn't always a foreigner. For her first five years in Switzerland, she was an expat. 

Is there a difference between an expat and a foreigner?

Ja, ja.

23% of the Swiss population is foreign.
And made to feel foreign.

An expat has an expiration date. An expat has defined plans to leave, usually with the same company that brought them there. An expat often lives in a bubble, putting their life on hold for that normal they think they’ll be able to return to—key word, think.

Because Switzerland has a lot going for it, many expats become foreigners in Switzerland.

A foreigner is someone who decides to stay—at least for awhile. They have local contracts with no expiration dates. They stop putting their lives on hold and instead live their lives to the fullest in the place they are now, rather than where the place they plan to be later.

By her definition, The Frau has become a foreigner.

Foreigners in Switzerland like The Frau often realize something else: No matter how good or bad their German is, no matter if they learn to play the alphorn or not—they will always be one thing in Switzerland: foreigners.

The Frau thinks a lot about this now that she has Baby M. Baby M is an American growing up in Switzerland. She says “Baden” with a Swiss accent. She answers when spoken to in Swiss German. And “nein” is her favorite Swiss German word.

But Baby M, if she continues grows up here, will also probably always be a foreigner. A very strange kind of Swiss German-speaking foreigner, but a foreigner by Swiss definition, nonetheless.

The Frau has come to realize that once a foreigner in Switzerland, always a foreigner—even if you are born here.

This is why almost 23% of the Swiss population is foreign. Behind Luxembourg, Switzerland has the highest percentage of foreigners in Europe—and for good reason—the time, expense, and process involved in becoming Swiss is some of the most stringent in the world.

The Frau doesn’t necessarily even want a Swiss passport—what she wants is the acceptance that doesn't seem possible here without it. Because after seven years in Switzerland, she’s found wondering, can a place ever be considered a home if one is always defined as a foreigner when living there?

What do you think?

Having a Baby in Switzerland: Are you ready?

Are you ready to have a baby in Switzerland? Find out on today’s episode of The Price is Fright. 

1 Package Pampers Newborn (Size One, 25 Count): CHF 11,20 ($12.02)

Photo by Brian Opyd

1 Package M-Budget Baby Wipes: CHF 1,60 ($1.72)

1 Jar Seelachs Hipp Baby Food: CHF 2,80 ($3.00)

1 Day at Swiss Daycare: CHF 126 ($135)

1 “Free” infant flight from Zurich to Chicago on SWISS: CHF 424 ($455)

1 Pair of must-have Migros rubber pants (Every proper Swiss baby wears them!): CHF 14,90 ($16)

1 Used Bugaboo Stroller from the Expat in Zurich Yahoo List: CHF 650 ($698)

1 Nursing Pillow from Baby Rose: CHF 159 ($170.66)

1 Nursing Bra from Baby Rose: CHF 59,95 ($64.35)

1 Full Night’s Sleep: Unavailable, please try again later.

1 GRAND TOTAL: CHF 1449.45 ($1,555.70)

Why Switzerland can't be number one for moms

It’s official. Baby M has won the lottery of life. At least according to The Economist, which lists Switzerland as the best country in the world to be born in right now. (The U.S. is down at 16). 

But another recent survey, which ranks global motherhood, lists Switzerland as the 18th best country in which to be a mom.

Switzerland: a good place to be a mom?

So The Frau, a.k.a., Die Mom, comes in 18th, while Baby M comes in 1st. What accounts for this discrepancy?

We could blame Switzerland’s short 14-week paid maternity leave (short for Europe, Americans would still weep for anything close to this—thus their rank of 25^th in the same survey) or the fact that working women in Switzerland are taxed more if they are married...(please don’t get The Frau started on how this is even constitutional, not to mention why every Swiss woman is not out there collecting signatures RIGHT NOW to change it)…

BUT

The Frau has an even better answer to this question that goes back to the day she became a mom in Switzerland.

After laboring at home for about 11 hours or so, it was time to go to the hospital. Really, really time.

Mr. Frau ran to the train station to summon a taxi, while The Frau, 9.5 centimeters dilated but didn’t know it yet, leaned against the wall in the lobby of her apartment building. She could barely stand at this point, let alone walk a foot without stopping to wait for another contraction to pass.

After what felt like several decades, The Frau saw a taxi go past her building...but it didn’t stop. Did Mr. Frau and the driver have a language mix-up? Was the taxi driver sadistic? Or just lost? While The Frau stood there in pain, considering the worst, Mr. Frau finally appeared another few decades later and escorted The Frau to the taxi, which had parked around the corner instead of right in front of her apartment building.

But why, fellow yodelers?

Why would someone park around the corner when it was their job to pick up a woman in heavy labor to take her to the hospital?

Because, fellow yodelers, The Frau lives in a pedestrian zone. You are not supposed to drive in a pedestrian zone.

So as it turns out,

The taxi driver wasn’t confused.

The taxi driver wasn’t sadistic.

The taxi driver wasn’t lost.

The taxi driver was Swiss.

This is why Switzerland will never be the number one place to be a mom. Or at least, become one.

Nationalities of the world and their reaction to babies

Baby M's fifth country, France

In honor of Baby M's first birthday (the poor little thing has been dragged to five countries in her short 12 months), the Frau would like to share something about the nationalities of the world and their reaction to babies–specifically hers.

Ireland: Of course we have highchairs at this pub. Come right this way. Would she like to enjoy a Guinness coaster or does she prefer to suck on a Connemara Whiskey one?

France: Ooh! What a bon bébé. Kiss. Kiss. Voilà! One kiss for each fat cheek, bébé. Ooh, bon, let moi feed you the petit-déjeuner. Oh bébé, let moi wipe your runny nose. Oh bébé, mais non, can’t you see dees toy worm eez better dan dees toy worm. The colors are so much more pleasing, on dees one n’est pas? Oh bébé, did moi just hear you say “oui?” Très bien, bébé! Learn many languages, but only ever speak zem in French.

Germany: Entschuldigung, are you something from our grocery store in that enormous stroller of yours stealing?

Switzerland: You should dress her more warmly. You should put socks on her feet. You should make sure the blanket doesn’t ride up to her knees. You should get off the bus with the stroller facing forwards. You should not block the sidewalk with that stroller. You should not be out at 11:01 a.m. on a Monday. You should go home. You should cook. Your husband should be coming home for lunch in 58 minutes and 11 seconds.

United States: She’s crying. She probably has gas. What, you’re just going to let her cry? But we have drops for that. This is America and we have something for everything. Do you have Baby Tylenol? That will solve her sleeping problems. Now, please sign on the dotted line before you place her in this highchair. We cannot take responsibility for injury, choking, or hot beverages that may or may not get spilled. No, I cannot possibly hold her while you sign on the dotted line. What if I abuse her by mistake or something? 

Five Reasons Switzerland is a Great Place to Have a Baby

The Frau has now been Die Mom for over seven months. Naturally, she was incredibly nervous about giving birth in a country where she had to learn the German equivalents for painkiller, cervical dilation, and please no episiotomy. But somehow, everything went smoothly. Somehow, the Frau survived. Somehow, Switzerland delivered by helping the Frau do the same.

You can hike around Lake Lungern with a stroller.

Needless to say, the rumors are true. Switzerland is a great place to have a baby. Here’s why:

One: Affordable care. 

Frustrated with expensive Swiss insurance policies? Have a baby and get your money’s worth. Swiss insurers are required to pay for almost all pregnancy-related doctor and hospital visits. So go ahead—lower your monthly payments and increase your deductible—your normal pregnancy-related check-ups and hospital bill won’t be coming out of it.

Two: Patience. 

Swiss midwives don’t rush you. Most encourage natural birth. But before you run back to the United States and demand a C-section, keep this in mind: a place that encourages natural birth (whether you do it or not) is actually a good thing because it means your labor is cared for with patience, not by people who just want you to hurry so they can go to lunch. Also, after a normal birth, you can stay in a Swiss hospital for up to five days as you recover and learn to care for your baby. You can even leave your baby at the hospital and go out to dinner, which the Frau highly recommends since after you leave the hospital with your new baby, dinner will probably become something you dream about, rather than eat.

Three: Midwives. 

You can have a midwife visit you at home after you return from the hospital. She comes to your house and makes sure you know what you’re doing (because if you’re like the Frau you won’t!). This is all also covered by Swiss insurance, which becomes even more of a blessing if you read books like Baby Catcher, and realize how U.S. insurers have basically made independent midwifery extinct in the United States. Be more prepared than the Frau, and choose your midwife before you give birth. 

Four: Free Money. 

Yes. You are hearing right. Beginning the month your child is born (so aim for the 30th!) you receive a minimum child benefit allowance of CHF 200 ($212) a month, which is added to your paycheck.  Unfortunately the Frau lives in Aargau, where they give you the bare minimum, but still, it helps make up for the fact that diapers and three times as expensive in Switzerland than they are in Germany. Even more amazing? You get your CHF 200 every month until your child turns 16. After your child turns 16, you are entitled to an education allowance of CHF 250 a month until your child is 25. If you’re luckier than the Frau, you also live in a canton that will give you a bonus of CHF 1,000, just for giving birth.

Five: Stroller-accessible Hiking Trails

You may not be able to get to your fourth-floor apartment without a struggle, but the woods? No problem. You’ll be sure to find plenty of stroller-accessible hikes in Switzerland. A few great Frau-tested hikes with strollers include the path around Lake Lungern, the wine trail near Maienfeld, and the wonderful walks included on this blog. Now if only the people riding the SBB/CFF/SSF without kids wouldn’t take up all the spots in the family zone, things would be perfect.

Have you had a baby in Switzerland? What has been good (or bad) about it for you?