The Ultimate Swiss Fondue Plausch

Naturally, when you spend a weekend in the Swiss Alps, you will be in the mood for a fondue plausch. You might not even know what a plausch is, but that doesn’t stop you from wanting it.

You scour the kitchen in your rented Alpine apartment to prepare for your plausch, but there is nothing (nothing!) that would indicate any kind of cheese melting choices.

No plausch? No problem. Not. 

Because at this point, you may not be able to have a plausch, which only makes you want the plausch more.

So you:

1. Complain.

2. Ask the restaurant below your apartment if you can borrow a fondue set.

3. Yell that it’s not Swiss not to have a fondue pot in a Swiss apartment (see 1).

4. Check if there’s a brocki in town.

5. Resort to a little American creativity.

How to create your own fondue plausch when you are ohne fondue set:

What you’ll need:

MacGyver theme song

4 Grabkerzen (large red Swiss grave candles—they can burn for about 8-72 hours.)

Duck tape

Lighter or matches

Large kitchen pot

Forks

Fondue stuff: cheese, garlic, white wine, kirsch, and bread

Instructions:

Fade in MacGyver theme song (for additional challenge, try to see if you can complete entire task by the time the music ends, otherwise, put music in loop) 

Set two grave candles next to each other and two grave candles directly behind them.

Wrap duck tape around all four candles (works best if you wrap the duck tape so it touches the bottom of the gold metal candle cover).

Cut bread.

Get out kitchen pot. Throw in fondue stuff. Stir a lot.

Light grave candles.

Move melted pot of cheese from stove and set it directly on top of the lit grave candles.

Say, “en guete mitenand.” (If you forget this step, the candles will mourn for you.)

Plausch it up for 72 hours, depending on quality of grave candles.

Note: Blow out candles if you prefer a shorter fondue plausch.