Go to Switzerland Without Leaving America. Really.

The Frau learned something recently:

This is America, Yodelers.

   









Insert moment of silence.

Don't worry, The Frau is still trying to believe this is America too. 

Fondue. Roesti. Ticino Pizzeria. Chalets. Restaurant doors that say Eingang. Hiking paths. Someone walking a Bernese mountain dog. A shop owner from Thun. Raclette cheese store. Emmi cheeses. Edelweiss Hemds. Swiss German speakers attempting to have a Ruhezeit in a hotel pool/whirlpool area where there is no Ruhezeit. The list goes on and on.

So. If you're in America and you're homesick for Switzerland, Wisconsin has a solution for that. It's called New Glarus. And when it calls itself "America's Little Switzerland," it's not kidding. There's a reason the Swiss Club of Chicago comes here at least three times a year. The place even has a race called the Alphorn Man Triathlon. The Frau will be doing this if only to get the t-shirt.

Real live Swiss people came to New Glarus over 150 years ago. Some, like Esther, who runs a European import store, came 30 years ago. Swissness lives on.

The other hot spot for Swissness is Monroe, Wisconsin, about 18 miles from New Glarus. This place has cheese. Real cheese. Emmi's only North American plant is here. And it has a shop onsite called Alp and Dell. This shop even sells Swiss wine. That's how Swiss it is.

Why are you still reading this? Go, go, go to New Glarus and Monroe now and enjoy all the Swissness America has to offer only 4,444 miles from Switzerland (to be exact).

5 Great Places to go with Kids in Switzerland

Need a few ideas for what to do with your kids in Switzerland? Look no further. The Frau (and Toddler M) have done some investigating for you.

Technorama (Winterthur)

This Swiss science museum has something for everyone—even Toddler M enjoyed a full day there banging drums, watching electric trains, and making gigantic bubbles. Spread across many floors, The Frau was pleasantly surprised by its non-Swiss size.

Tip: When traveling by public transport, be sure to get the RailAway offer, which will save you 10% on both the entrance fee and the transport there. They also accept payment in REKA.

Paradisimo (Pfäffikon SZ)

BMW Bobby Car. Only in Switzerland.

This is possibly Switzerland’s most perfect indoor playground. Why? It’s inexpensive, it has separate play areas for babies versus older kids, and there is a cafe with Wi-Fi for parents. And oh, the Bobby Cars are BMWs. It wouldn’t be a Swiss experience otherwise.

Children’s Museum (Baden)

The perfect balance of toys and exhibit make this place a fun day out for more than just children. Think dollhouses from the last century, a room filled with puppet shows you can put on a play with, and an entire floor of wooden games to explore.

Tip: They accept REKA checks.

Transport Museum (Lucerne)

Climb on trams. Ride scooters. Watch cars from the decades go by. The Transport Museum is all about transporting you to, well, the world of transport.

Tip: RailAway will save you 10% off the admission and the train ride there.

Emmentaler Schaukäserei (Affoltern i.E.)

Emmentaler cheese (that’s Swiss cheese for all you Americans)—comes from here. At the Emmentaler Schaukäserei, you can visit the dairy, eat at the restaurant, shop for cheese, and let your kids play on the playground and admire the statues of cows. You can also combine a visit to the Schaukäserei with a beautiful stroller hike through the rolling hills. Start in Lueg and follow the signs from Lueg-Junkholz-Schnabel-Affoltern i.E. (3.5 km).

Anyone else have tips for having fun in Switzerland with kids?

Enjoy reading about Swiss life? Then you might enjoy The Frau’s new book, Swiss Life: 30 Things I Wish I’d Known. It even has a section on Mutterhood. Available at fine online retailers and on Zurich’s most famous shopping street too (Bahnhofstrasse 70).

Go West, Young Expat

In honor of the 4th of July, The Frau would like to encourage all expats living in Switzerland to go west. To the Emmental.

The Emmental is underrated. Why so, says The Frau?

Because no one goes there.

Gruyère. Zermatt. St. Moritz. The Emmental might as well be in Canton Aargau for the amount of love it gets from expats.

Hiking in Emmental

The Frau has a remedy for this. It’s called the photo on the right. This is the Emmental, yodelers. Get out your alphorns and let the message travel for 18 miles. Because the Emmental put the hole in the cheese us Americans call "Swiss." And therefore we should give it a little more credit in this country.

Emmental has rolling landscapes. It has people who say “Grüezi” in possibly the cutest accent in all of CH. And it’s home to a town called Junkholz. What else could you want?

Don’t believe The Frau? See for yourself. Do her hike (which is stroller friendly people, so there’s no excuse even if you have a baby for not going to the Emmental).

Here’s the 3.5 km hike—which ends at a huge cheese complex. (It's Tipp 7 in the PDF).

For those who need a translation, here it is: Take the train to Burgdorf and the bus to Lueg. Start hiking in Lueg towards Junkholz. Pass Schnabel. End at Affoltern i.E. at a cheese (and admittedly somewhat cheesy) factory. It’s not as extensive as the one in Gruyère, but it’s also not as crowded. There’s a wonderful picnic area, a playground to keep kids (or adults acting like kids) busy, a cheese shop, a restaurant serving everything with a side of cheese, and possibly the oldest cheese making house in the world that can still live up to Swiss cleanliness standards.

Anyone else like the Emmental?

The Ultimate Swiss Fondue Plausch

Naturally, when you spend a weekend in the Swiss Alps, you will be in the mood for a fondue plausch. You might not even know what a plausch is, but that doesn’t stop you from wanting it.

You scour the kitchen in your rented Alpine apartment to prepare for your plausch, but there is nothing (nothing!) that would indicate any kind of cheese melting choices.

No plausch? No problem. Not. 

Because at this point, you may not be able to have a plausch, which only makes you want the plausch more.

So you:

1. Complain.

2. Ask the restaurant below your apartment if you can borrow a fondue set.

3. Yell that it’s not Swiss not to have a fondue pot in a Swiss apartment (see 1).

4. Check if there’s a brocki in town.

5. Resort to a little American creativity.

How to create your own fondue plausch when you are ohne fondue set:

What you’ll need:

MacGyver theme song

4 Grabkerzen (large red Swiss grave candles—they can burn for about 8-72 hours.)

Duck tape

Lighter or matches

Large kitchen pot

Forks

Fondue stuff: cheese, garlic, white wine, kirsch, and bread

Instructions:

Fade in MacGyver theme song (for additional challenge, try to see if you can complete entire task by the time the music ends, otherwise, put music in loop) 

Set two grave candles next to each other and two grave candles directly behind them.

Wrap duck tape around all four candles (works best if you wrap the duck tape so it touches the bottom of the gold metal candle cover).

Cut bread.

Get out kitchen pot. Throw in fondue stuff. Stir a lot.

Light grave candles.

Move melted pot of cheese from stove and set it directly on top of the lit grave candles.

Say, “en guete mitenand.” (If you forget this step, the candles will mourn for you.)

Plausch it up for 72 hours, depending on quality of grave candles.

Note: Blow out candles if you prefer a shorter fondue plausch.

Just say cheese

In the German-speaking part of Switzerland, it is traditional to watch "Dinner for One" on TV on New Year's Eve. Our Swiss neighbor does it every year. Don't ask me why a film in English is a German tradition, but it is. She even watches it in the original English.

Speaking of dinner, I've had cheese for dinner for the last two nights. Thursday night, we had fondue at our neighbor's and there was so much cheese in the pot that it broke. Then, last night, we had raclette. Six people ate 28 pieces of the stuff. The result? According to Mr. One Big Yodel, "I have such a big ball of cheese in my stomach that it is radiating heat like the sun."

What a way to celebrate the season in Switzerland.

Alles Gute zum neuen Jahr from One Big Yodel. Prost.

Not Exactly Easy Cheese

How different is living in Switzerland versus living in the United States? One way to find out is through cheese. Both countries have it. The difference is that one sells cheese in aerosal cans and one does not. But for those whose lives (ahem, moi) were previously processed to perfection, getting used to the real stuff is not without pain.

Read how adjusting to Swiss life is "Not Exactly Easy Cheese" in this month's Expat Adventure column in Swiss News, written by yours truly.