Naturally, when you
spend a weekend in the Swiss Alps, you will be in the mood for a fondue plausch. You might not even know what a plausch is, but that doesn’t stop you
from wanting it.
You scour the kitchen
in your rented Alpine apartment to prepare for your plausch, but there is nothing (nothing!) that would indicate any
kind of cheese melting choices.
No plausch? No
problem. Not.
Because at this point,
you may not be able to have a plausch,
which only makes you want the plausch
more.
So you:
1. Complain.
2. Ask the restaurant
below your apartment if you can borrow a fondue set.
3. Yell that it’s not
Swiss not to have a fondue pot in a Swiss apartment (see 1).
4. Check if there’s a brocki in town.
5. Resort to a little American creativity.
What you’ll need:
4 Grabkerzen (large red Swiss grave candles—they can burn for about
8-72 hours.)
Duck tape
Lighter or matches
Large kitchen pot
Forks
Fondue stuff: cheese,
garlic, white wine, kirsch, and bread
Instructions:
Fade in MacGyver theme
song (for additional challenge, try to see if you can complete entire task by
the time the music ends, otherwise, put music in loop)
Set two grave candles
next to each other and two grave candles directly behind them.
Wrap duck tape around all
four candles (works best if you wrap the duck tape so it touches the bottom of
the gold metal candle cover).
Cut bread.
Get out kitchen pot.
Throw in fondue stuff. Stir a lot.
Light grave candles.
Move melted pot of
cheese from stove and set it directly on top of the lit grave candles.
Say, “en guete mitenand.” (If you forget this
step, the candles will mourn for you.)
Plausch it up for 72
hours, depending on quality of grave candles.
Note: Blow out candles
if you prefer a shorter fondue plausch.
