Enjoying life. A foreign concept.

An American friend recently returned from a six-day trip to Belgium and France (because only an American would fly a total of 10,000 miles for less than a week’s vacation) and came back amazed.

“Now I get it,” she said.

“Get what?”

An American with a newspaper, a coffee, and a
relaxed outlook, oh my!

“How hard it must be for you to be back.”

When asked to clarify she said, “I mean, people over there, they actually take time to relax and enjoy life!”

What a concept. Too bad most Americans find this concept foreign.

Nothing demonstrates this concept more than Starbucks. In the U.S., Starbucks has a drive-through. What does this say about our culture?

The Frau refuses to go to a Starbucks drive-through even though she loves Starbucks coffeehouses because they are pretty much the only place she can go to eat or drink in her American town that doesn’t try to rush her out the door the minute she puts her fork down.

Needless to say, The Frau is dreaming of her old Swiss haunts, like her vacation rental in Locarno. (Pictured above)

Redefining motherhood one continent at a time

Going from mothering in one culture to another isn't easy.

Here's something that often goes unnoticed unless you move between cultures: your beliefs are shaped by them. Sounds obvious, but experiencing it can be a shock. 

Because The Frau became a mother in Switzerland, she gradually adopted Swiss parenting ways only to realize that they made her awkward as a mother in the U.S. 

All it took was a small "food fight" at her local American library to question everything she believed as a mother. She wrote about her multi-continent parenting issues for the New York Times yesterday. 

How does culture impact your parenting?

Birth in Switzerland and American Citizenship

Once The Frau became a mother in Switzerland, she realized something: Some Americans giving birth in Switzerland didn’t want their children to have U.S. Citizenship. 

Photo by Brian Opyd

They don't really have a choice, since in most cases, a child born abroad to at least one American parent is American by default. However, there is a trend of not registering these children with the American government. The Frau researched this story for over two months and talked to expats around the world. The result? This piece in The Wall Street Journal.

Anyone else notice this trend among American expats in Switzerland (or the world)?

Also, if you’re interested in expat issues and are not already part of the WSJ Expat Facebook Group, The Frau highly recommends becoming a member. 

Reverse Cost (and Culture) Shock

It’s no secret that Switzerland is expensive. But The Frau is surprised by some of the prices in the U.S. In fact, there are certain things here that are much more expensive than they are in Switzerland.

Here are a few amazing ones:

Decent Cheese

Good cheese is a good price in Switzerland

The Frau somehow knew her American repatriation would be fraught with processed cheese. So she avoids the rubber Americans call cheese by spending way too much money on Gruyère and Emmentaler. Any cheese that is decent in the U.S. costs a lot of money. Think about $44 a kilo. Or more. And also: Why do American cheese sellers cut Raclette cheese in triangles?

Yogurt

What is up with the yogurt prices in the U.S.? The Frau used to be able to buy 1000g of plain yogurt at Migros for about $2. In the U.S., this same amount of yogurt can be $7 or more. Huh? Not to mention, Switzerland offers much more selection when it comes to yogurt. It puts the U.S. to shame. The Frau sees a yogurt maker in her future.

Coffee

Decent coffee is super expensive in the U.S. The Frau bought some Starbucks Christmas coffee–after Christmas–and it was still about double the price she used to pay for a package of coffee in Switzerland.

Sparkling Water

Sparkling water is so expensive in the U.S. that The Frau asked for a SodaStream for Christmas. She loves it, by the way. In Switzerland, The Frau used to pay 25 cents for 1.5 liters of bubbly water in the grocery store. In the U.S., sparkling water is about five or six times that price. The Frau has no idea why.

Diapers

Toddler M still wears diapers. This is unfortunate since diapers are never on sale in the U.S. Never. Ok, maybe sometimes they are $1 off. But otherwise, they are the same price they are in Switzerland—but without that lovely buy 3 for the price of 2 sale that used to happen every month. Since The Frau almost always waited to buy diapers during Swiss sale time, she now spends at least a third more on diapers than she used to.

Conclusion? The U.S. is not cheap, especially considering how much lower the salaries are here. However, there are still many things that are cheaper in the U.S. than in Switzerland. The ones that are amazingly so will be discussed next week. Bis dann, mitenand.

Anyone else see things that are a lot more expensive in their home country than in Switzerland?

Fixing the furnace. A multicultural story.

The first time a radiator repairman came to The Frau’s small Swiss apartment, he shook The Frau’s hand, introduced himself, and then proceeded to take off his shoes.

A lot of hot air.
You need it in Chicago this winter.

The Frau thought this was both overly formal and overly informal at the same time. Herr Schumann, someone she just met two seconds ago, was walking around her apartment in his socks. It’s not like they were on a first-name basis or anything. So, sorry, yodelers, but as a newly expatriated American, she found the whole situation kind of gross. 

Well, fast-forward almost a decade and The Frau found herself letting two furnace repairmen into her big, fat American house. And you know what? She was offended. First of all, they didn’t introduce themselves. Or shake her hand. And then, they slogged up the wooden staircase in their snowy boots.

At this point The Frau was not only wishing for heat during a -10 Celsius Chicago winter. She was also wishing for a little shoe removal action.

But no. Up and down and out the door and back went the repairmen in their big, snowy boots. They were very friendly, just not very Swiss. Not that you can blame them, since Chicago is, after all, not Switzerland.

The Frau thought about asking them to take off their shoes. But this felt so un-American and she’s trying hard to be American these days so she said nothing.

Anyway, when they left The Frau’s house, she happily had heat. But she also had ten minutes of floor cleaning to do too. Which, when you’ve just spent $500, isn’t exactly an added bonus.

Shameless self-promotion section: if you enjoy little stories like these, you may enjoy The Frau’s book, Swiss Life: 30 Things I Wish I’d Known. It’s now available via Bergli Books in Basel as well. 

What You Never Thought You'd Miss about Switzerland

Here’s something The Frau thought she’d never miss about Switzerland: mold.

And yet there it is, yodelers. About four months into her American Experiment, The Frau misses mold.

Will those strawberries go bad before you can eat them?
That depends. Which country did you buy them in?

Mainly, she misses it in her refrigerator. Does this make any sense? The Frau doesn’t know. But somehow she finds herself nostalgic for those Swiss strawberries that used to go bad five minutes after she bought them. Well, ok maybe not those. More like the ones that molded after 24 hours. Mold was like proof that they were the real deal fruit product, oder?

The Frau also misses bread that hardens in a day. Even freshly made bread in America doesn’t get stale in a day. This perplexes The Frau.

The Frau also misses being able to buy a ripe banana. (And also being able to weigh this ripe banana and put a price sticker on it BEFORE purchasing it so that when Toddler M is begging for a banana while still being held hostage in the shopping cart she can eat it without this whole process being considered stealing later.)

But in general, here’s the thing that scares The Frau about America. The food here doesn’t go bad. She buys a nice batch of fresh cilantro on Sunday and it’s fine to use the following Saturday. It’s also usually still good the following Saturday after that. This kind of concept just does not exist in Switzerland.

Now. On one hand, it’s great. The Frau only needs to shop for food once a week in America and she saves a lot of money not having to rebuy produce that has molded before she intended to use it. In Switzerland, she went to the grocery store at least every other day and only bought for meals about one or two days in advance.

But on the other hand, it’s frightening. What the heck do they do to American food that they don’t do to Swiss food? Buy normal food or buy organic, no matter which version you choose, it still lasts longer in the U.S.

So. The Frau may not last long in the U.S. for fear of the consequences.

Anyone else love their Swiss mold?

Cross-country skiing in Switzerland

The Frau is skiing. And she is skiing the way she knows best—on flat land. It’s a relief, actually, to know that her cross-country skiing this year will not involve those pesky large hills people from Switzerland refer to as flat land.

Chicago has had a lot of snow this winter (the fifth-largest ever snowstorm left 18 inches in the area last weekend), so The Frau has gone cross-country skiing four times already and has plans in the works to go snowshoeing too.

Granted, it’s not the same, yodelers. There are no mountain vistas or places to ski that don’t involve some traffic noise, but alas, there is also a lot more opportunity to ski since The Frau now has built-in babysitters otherwise known as grandparents nearby.

In any case, all of her winter sports activities got her thinking about her favorite places to cross-country ski in Switzerland, a sport that is often ignored in a country that favors the downhill version. Still, despite its mountains, here are some great places to do cross-country in Switzerland—although some versions are flatter than others. Viel Spass, mitenand.

Disentis-Trun

Disentis-Trun is a beautiful 15-km cross-country ski trail

In this fairytale Romansh-speaking area of Switzerland, you can enjoy a 15k cross-country ski trail of medium difficulty. It runs between the villages of Disentis and Trun, but you can ditch the trail at various train stations that run along the valley if you want to shorten it. Don’t be put off by the trail’s initial steep descent —it soon flattens out about 2k after Disentis. Bonus: this trail isn’t too well traveled, giving you a full appreciation of the picture-book landscapes.

Oberwald-Niederwald

From Oberwald to Niederwald, you can cross-country ski through 12 picturesque villages in the Goms Valley on an easy 18k prepared trail. If you get tired halfway though, you have many options for a hot chocolate break and it’s simple to take a train ride back to where you began.

Einsiedeln

Einsiedeln has a lot to offer cross-country skiers of various levels including the advantage that there is not an Alpine skier in sight. Choose your distance (up to a half marathon) and follow the trail signs. These trails tend to be busier than the previously mentioned ones because of their proximity to Zurich.

Flumserberg

Take the lift up to Tannenboden with the downhill skiers. Ignore their looks of superiority. The classical and skating 4k loop at Tannenboden is short, but picturesque. As you ski in the clouds, dog sleds will probably race by you. Bonus: This trail is perfect for those with downhill skiing partners because you can both do your thing and meet for lunch at the mountain restaurant.

Zugerberg

Berg means mountain and the Zugerberg is true to its name. Cross-country skiing on this mountain overlooking Zug and Lake Zug involves many ups and downs. And they are big ones too—at least to those from the flat American Midwest. In any case, the mountain is worth a visit—even at night since it offers a 1.1 kilometer lit trail for both classic and skating skiers. Daytime trails include an 11-kilometer classic loop and a 11.5-kilometer skating loop. Neither are recommended for complete beginners.

What cross-country trails to do you love in Switzerland?

Why all Americans should hate the Superbowl

One of the things The Frau loved about being in Switzerland was forgetting all about huge American sporting obsessions like the Superbowl. Unless of course, she checked Facebook, where American friends were posting obsessively about it.

Now that she’s back in the U.S., she can’t avoid certain American sporting pastimes, but she is doing her hardest to try—at least when it comes to the NFL. This has less to do with not caring about sports and more to do with the overall inequality in the country these days.

Is The Frau crazy? What does American football have to do with American inequality? Well, actually a lot. See, the National Football League is classified as a non-profit organization.

Yes. You heard The Frau right. The NFL…which pays players millions and charges a devoted fan thousands of dollars for one Superbowl ticket…they are tax exempt in the eyes of the American government.

Which brings us to Americans abroad. Who are not tax exempt in the eyes of the American government, even though they must also pay tax to the country they are living in and have no representation in the U.S. despite their tax liabilities.

Does any of this make any sense?

No. The United States not a lot of sense these days makes. And the Superbowl pretty much represents everything that’s wrong about the U.S. these days: rich getting a tax break while the rest of us pay.

Anyone else refusing to watch on Sunday?

Learning to Embrace the Awkwardness

The Frau is still acclimating to America. It’s hard for her not to feel like a foreigner in her own country when she takes Toddler M to school and the school is closed. Remember that American holiday called Martin Luther King Day? Neither did The Frau.

In other news, Toddler M’s preschool had both spirit day (wear your favorite sport team’s jersey) and pajama day last week. Mr. Frau was pretty excited about spirit day and told Toddler M that she could finally wear that beautiful Blackhawks sweatshirt he got her last year. And The Frau was hopeful about pajama day (despite its previous rejection by Toddler M) since it would mean less work getting Toddler M dressed.

But Toddler M had neither spirit nor desire to wear pajamas to school. So once again, for the second and third time respectively, she was the strange little re-pat kid wearing size 104 H&M skinny jeans and polka dotted blouses in a world of 3T and 4T Bears jerseys and snowman foot pajamas. In that little preschool, she alone represented the awkwardness of the entire re-pat universe.

Unfortunately, The Frau has decided that her little family pretty much won’t fit in anywhere, in any country, for the rest of their lives. Expat author Robin Pascoe’s book, Homeward Bound, a great read about repatriation, pretty much confirmed The Frau’s conclusion, so there it is, yodelers. Expats will always be foreigners both at home and abroad.

And there’s nothing we can do about it except embrace our awkwardness and wear our ties and dress pants on “wear your pajamas to work day.” (Which by the way, Mr. Frau’s company had for the second time and which, by the way, Mr. Frau purposely wore a tie and dress pants for in order to defy.) See, yodelers? There is no hope at all in The Frau Family of ever being normal.

C’est la vie. Oder?

An Apology to Zurich Weather

Lieber/Liebe(?) Zurich Wetter, 

(please excuse The Frau's gender confusion but "Wetter" is a "das" so how do you address it in a letter?)

The Frau is sorry. She never thought she'd miss your grayness. But of course, Facebook jealousy did its thing and last week The Frau was treated to a friend’s picture of her family biking under blue skies to the Zurich Zoo (caption: 17 C°) while The Frau was freezing her B-O trying to walk seven blocks on un-shoveled sidewalks to spin class (caption: -15 C° + windy).

It is bitterly cold in Chicago. The Frau doesn’t know why people choose to live here. Oh wait, she chose to live here. But it’s so cold she can’t even justify walking Toddler M, who refuses to wear mittens, home from preschool (nor would the stroller function on the un-shoveled and un-even sidewalks).

So instead, Mother-in-Law picks Toddler M up from preschool in her car since The Frau is strange and Swiss and still can’t bring herself to buy a car. Yet. But the whole -15 C °+ wind chill is changing her outlook. (Oh, and The Frau would also like to say that Mother-in-Law is really nice to put up with her strange and un-American daughter-in-law. Especially since The Frau can't function at all in Fahrenheit.)

Note to Chicago People:
Often there is barely any snow in balmy
Switzerland, even in the mountains.

Oh temperate gray Zurich! The Frau is sorry for previously writing about how much your weather sucks. Because a place that is so cold she is stuck indoors despite a sunny, snowy day is worse.

Suck it up, you say? That’s what The Frau thought too. Stop complaining and go outside in the snow. So she did just that. She went to the snowy woods for a walk. How cold could it be? Well, according to her Swiss watch, she lasted seven whole minutes before she couldn’t feel her face and had to run back to the car. And that was the other sad thing. The only way to get to the woods is to drive. Another reason she'll have to get that car soon.

  

Everyone in Chicago thinks Switzerland is the same in terms of weather. But you’re used to this, right? they say. They see Switzerland as freezing and snowy when in fact it is neither, except maybe snowy in the mountains. Sometimes. But definitely not last year.

In any case, there is a happy ending to all of this. Because yesterday it was a balmy -2 C° so The Frau went cross-country skiing in the snowy woods. The only thing that finally brought her back to the car was a pair of blisters. And that was reason to celebrate.

Liebe Grüsse

The Frau

5 Things The Frau Loves About the US

Happy New Year, mitenand. As The Frau looks forward to her first full year in the US since 2005, here are some things she is loving thus far about “home.”

 

Chicago, USA

The people. Americans are so pleasant, yodelers. They smile. They chat. They always seem to have something nice to say. The Frau has to hand it to Americans. They make you feel happy. The Frau’s neighbor hangs bread on her front door at least once a week. Just because.

The programs for kids. The Frau’s new town has so much for Toddler M to enjoy. Library story hours. Indoor playgrounds. Outdoor playgrounds. Breakfasts with Santa. Learning programs at zoos and arboretums. The number of things to do is amazing. And most are free or very reasonably priced.

The family. Having family nearby is great. Yesterday The Frau’s mother-in-law called to say she would pick up Toddler M from school and make dinner. Really? The Frau is still getting used to having a family support network in her backyard.

The house. While The Frau misses her castle view apartment, she has to admit: It is really nice to not be tripping over Toddler M’s toys. It is really nice to have four bedrooms. And it is amazing to be able to live in a house built by one of America’s most famous architects for the same monthly payment as a two-bedroom Swiss apartment.

The food. Within four blocks from The Frau’s house is a street that has all of these options: South American food, Mexican food, Vietnamese food, Thai food, Indian food, BBQ, American bar food, frozen yogurt, ice cream, movie theater popcorn, and more. The amount of food options in this country is amazing. The best part? There is free water at all of them.

What do you love (or miss) about the United States?

5 Things The Frau Misses About Switzerland

Happy Old Year, mitenand. As The Frau looks back over 2014, she can’t help but miss Switzerland, where she spent nine of the last 12 months (not to mention her last 8.5 years). Here are some of the things she misses most now that she’s back in the US.

The great outdoors. No one does the outdoors like Switzerland. With over 60,000 km of hiking trails, it’s about 59,900 km more than The Frau has access to from Chicago.

Disentis, Switzerland

The weather. Ok. The Frau never thought she would miss the grey Swiss winter. But she does. Because she forgot how cold it is in Chicago. She hasn’t been this cold since, oh, she lived in Chicago over 14 years ago.

The transportation. The Frau hates driving. So much so that she has refused to get a car thus far and has been riding her bike when it’s -8 c outside. Yes. She is crazy. And Swiss. She still can’t comprehend that she can’t walk or take a bus, train, tram, boat, or cable car everywhere.

The beauty. Switzerland is gorgeous. No matter how much she wants it to, the flat American Midwest just can’t compete with Switzerland’s rolling hills, sparkling lakes, and the Alps.

The adventures. There’s something about living in another country, especially when it borders five others, that’s exciting. Living in the center of the US, where Gary, Indiana is further than Germany used to be, is hard to accept after having easy access to the entire European continent for almost a decade.

What do you love (or miss) about Switzerland?

In other small print, The Frau would like to say merci vielmal to all of her readers in Switzerland and around the world. Thanks to you, her first book, Swiss Life: 30 Things I Wish I'd Known, has sold almost 1200 copies since May.

The Wear Your Pajamas to Work (and Preschool) Week

Pajamas are everywhere in America. In fact, it’s quite acceptable to wear them in public. After years of feeling like she had to put on a skirt just to take the elevator down to the laundry room in her Swiss apartment/office building, The Frau is trying to accept this American sleepwear-in-public trend, but to be honest, her family is having a hard time with it.

Wear Your Pajamas in Public Day is Every Day in America

Take yesterday. At Mr. Frau’s company, it was “Wear Your Pajamas to Work Day.” The Frau is not sure what wearing pajamas to an office is supposed to achieve, but in any case, Mr. Frau was told it was all about “having fun.” Well, in true Swiss fashion, Mr. Frau decided to have no fun at all and went to work in his usual button down and jeans (wearing dress pants usually takes office fashion too far in America).  Mr. Frau had to lead a workshop teaching people how to be managers and he just couldn’t imagine doing it in his PJs. The Frau can’t say she blames him. 

As it turns out, American offices have a lot in common with American preschools. The day after Mr. Frau’s “Wear Your Pajamas to Work Day,” it was Toddler M’s “Wear Your Pajamas to Preschool Day.” This event was so important it was printed on a flyer, which told us not to forget, because the day would be “all about having fun.”

Now The Frau didn’t mind encouraging Toddler M to wear pajamas, since it meant less work for her in prepping Toddler M for school, but strangely enough, Toddler M wanted nothing to do with pajama day and everything to do with wearing normal street clothes. Even upon arrival, where every child in her class was clearly wearing pajamas—and Christmas pajamas at that—Toddler M refused to put on her snowman feet pajamas, which The Frau had packed in her bag just in case. So there was little Swiss Toddler M, wearing street clothes in an American preschool filled with children in pajamas.

As The Frau said in her last post, assimilation hasn’t been easy.

Repatriation–even harder after Switzerland

Dear Yodelers,

Excuse the French, but since it's an official Swiss language The Frau won't hold back: Repatriation is a bitch.

Research says it is harder to go home than abroad. But research didn’t consider the Switzerland factor. And Switzerland makes it worse. Let The Frau explain.

Perhaps some of you know—Switzerland was recently rated the best place in the world to be an expat. It has one of the highest qualities of life in the world. Be born in Switzerland, and you’ve won the lottery of life, at least according to organizations that like to create surveys.

These facts do not make leaving Switzerland easy. In fact, they only set you up for disappointment. How can any other country compete?

Here’s the reality. It can’t. The Frau must accept that while there are some wonderful things about America—lots of personal space, spontaneous conversations with Target shoppers, being close to family—it is not Switzerland.

The Frau met with a fellow Swiss re-pat in Chicago recently and this woman still doesn’t have a car and she’s been back for two years. She takes a mini-bus whenever she needs to go far-flung places like Madison or Iowa City. She said it took her an entire year to adjust back to the US after being in Switzerland for three years.

Ok. Do the math. The Frau was in Switzerland for over eight years. Does this mean it will take her almost three years to adjust to the US, all other things being equal? What does that mean if her on-hold Swiss residence permit expires in two years?

In any case, you’ll be glad to know that The Frau has adjusted somewhat. She’s already forgiven the neighbors for not dusting their flowerpots. And she's driven the family car a few times although can’t bring herself to buy a second one yet. Also, Toddler M doesn’t yell “nein” at the American kids like she used to, although after enjoying a sleepover with one of her Swiss-American friends last week, she did resort to saying “ich auch” all the time for the following two days.

In other good news, The Frau tasted the best Magenbrot she’s ever had—and it was from Chicago’s German Christmas market. The Frau must say, American food does not disappoint–except when it comes to cheese. Oh well. Frohe Weihnachten, mitenand.