An Apology to Zurich Weather

Lieber/Liebe(?) Zurich Wetter, 

(please excuse The Frau's gender confusion but "Wetter" is a "das" so how do you address it in a letter?)

The Frau is sorry. She never thought she'd miss your grayness. But of course, Facebook jealousy did its thing and last week The Frau was treated to a friend’s picture of her family biking under blue skies to the Zurich Zoo (caption: 17 C°) while The Frau was freezing her B-O trying to walk seven blocks on un-shoveled sidewalks to spin class (caption: -15 C° + windy).

It is bitterly cold in Chicago. The Frau doesn’t know why people choose to live here. Oh wait, she chose to live here. But it’s so cold she can’t even justify walking Toddler M, who refuses to wear mittens, home from preschool (nor would the stroller function on the un-shoveled and un-even sidewalks).

So instead, Mother-in-Law picks Toddler M up from preschool in her car since The Frau is strange and Swiss and still can’t bring herself to buy a car. Yet. But the whole -15 C °+ wind chill is changing her outlook. (Oh, and The Frau would also like to say that Mother-in-Law is really nice to put up with her strange and un-American daughter-in-law. Especially since The Frau can't function at all in Fahrenheit.)

Note to Chicago People:
Often there is barely any snow in balmy
Switzerland, even in the mountains.

Oh temperate gray Zurich! The Frau is sorry for previously writing about how much your weather sucks. Because a place that is so cold she is stuck indoors despite a sunny, snowy day is worse.

Suck it up, you say? That’s what The Frau thought too. Stop complaining and go outside in the snow. So she did just that. She went to the snowy woods for a walk. How cold could it be? Well, according to her Swiss watch, she lasted seven whole minutes before she couldn’t feel her face and had to run back to the car. And that was the other sad thing. The only way to get to the woods is to drive. Another reason she'll have to get that car soon.

  

Everyone in Chicago thinks Switzerland is the same in terms of weather. But you’re used to this, right? they say. They see Switzerland as freezing and snowy when in fact it is neither, except maybe snowy in the mountains. Sometimes. But definitely not last year.

In any case, there is a happy ending to all of this. Because yesterday it was a balmy -2 C° so The Frau went cross-country skiing in the snowy woods. The only thing that finally brought her back to the car was a pair of blisters. And that was reason to celebrate.

Liebe Grüsse

The Frau

Drop Everything and Sun

Ah, the great outdoors. Ahem, the gray outdoors. Because we are in Switzerland people, where the sun likes to play hide but not so much seek.

This is Zurich (in case you don't recognize it under sunny skies.)

That’s why it makes no sense that The Frau should be sunburned. We’ve had like what, fellow yodelers, three sunny days this year?

But then again, maybe that’s why The Frau’s skin can’t handle the sun anymore. It’s adjusted to a world without one, so even three minutes of sun is a shock to her sensitive epidermal system.

After The Frau saw her red face in the mirror last weekend, it necessitated a documentation of her time in the sun so far this year to figure out just how she could have gotten so red under such gray.

Here are her very scientific discoveries:

Swiss Sun Day 1. Sometime in February.

The sun comes out for a half hour at 3 p.m. Bye office, hello frozen fingers. Sunscreen? Whoops. It’s hard to remember sunscreen when you’ve almost forgotten the sun existed.

Swiss Sun Day 2. Sometime in mid-April.

The sun comes out for three minutes at 5 p.m. Hurry! Out on the balcony. Sunscreen? There’s no time for sunscreen when the sun is only out for three minutes!

Swiss Sun Day 3. April 25.

The sun comes out at 7 a.m. Blink. Oh yeah, skies can be blue. Is this a dream? It’s not? Schedule? What schedule? Drop everything and sun! 

This weather sucks! What should I do?

Hmm. The Frau tries not to be biased, but if you like books, you might want to attend an author reading that she is organizing on Sunday.

As part of the Zurich Writers Workshop this weekend, New York Times Bestselling Author Susan Jane Gilman and University of Oxford Fiction Tutor Amal Chatterjee will be reading from their works on Sunday, October 3, 2010 from 12:30-1:00 p.m. at Schoentalstrasse 8, 8004 Zurich. The event is free and open to the public. Books will be available for sale.

If that's not quite your thing, here are some other indoor options:

Andy Warhol Exhibit at the art museum in Basel.

Choir Festival in Appenzell (not sure exactly how indoors this is).

Funny Laundry performs stand-up comedy in Zurich.

Say Cheese

Americans are often amazed that Europeans don’t smile.

“Tell me again, really? They don’t ever smile?”

“Not at you,” I reply.

They don’t smile at you because you are a foreigner and you scare them. Because if they give you one little smile, you might give them your entire life story. Come on, you know you would. In English. Without bothering to ask if they understood the language first.

And if Europeans don’t smile on the street, it might also be because it is August, 52 degrees, and raining. They aren’t smiling because they are worried that they might not see the sun again until May. I’ve been there. I live here.

But inside their homes, where they have families and sun lamps, Europeans smile.

Now I’m not saying any of this makes sense, I’m just saying that’s how it is. There are plenty of contradictions in American life too. An American isn’t afraid to reveal their entire life story to a stranger, but they would never bathe topless. Does this make sense either? I don't know. But it makes me smile.

Dear Frau: Should I Move to Zurich?

Welcome to the latest edition of Dear Frau. It's kind of like Dear Abby, except with an international twist. If you have a question about life in Switzerland, be sure to contact the Frau and maybe your little Frage will be in the next Dear Frau column. And as always, the Frau does not have all the answers and welcomes your solutions to these questions in the comments section.

Dear Frau,

My company would like me to relocate to Zurich. Whilst I am experiencing ‘London Fatigue’ my vision certainly did not include this city. Not even in my periphery.

I speak no German but some French if this might help? Whilst many seem concerned with moving with spouses, family housing and children’s schools my concern is me, myself and I. (Not that I am altogether selfish, truly!) So what it’s like as a single woman living in Zurich? Any recommendations for best areas to live? (Near or in the city, a fruit/veggie market & coffee shop if possible, a gym and green space to go for a run.) And I will miss my gaggle of girlfriends and would be great to meet some friends in Zurich, suggestions for groups to join? I daren’t ask about dating.

Lastly, I have lived abroad before and travel fairly often so know it’s important to be open – but have heard more negatives than positive about Zurich. Cold people, weather, rigid, unwelcoming, etc. that I am needless a touch wary. Would really appreciate a response.

Best,

Single in the City

Dear Single in the City,

You’ve got a lot of questions here, so let’s address one at a time.

Will French help? Um, probably as much as English or German will help. The problem with living in Zurich is that Swiss people in Zurich don’t speak French, German, or English. They speak Züri-deutsch, which is really another language entirely. Züri-deutsch is a Swiss German dialect. Swiss German is a secret language, which makes sense for a country with secret bank accounts, but doesn’t make much sense to expats, who try to learn German and then realize they still can’t understand anything without crossing the border.

What’s it like to be a single woman in Zurich? The Frau will just say this: Not only does “Frau” mean “woman” but it also means “wife.” Clearly Fraus are not meant to be single in German-speaking worlds. But look on the bright side—you won’t be taxed extra for being a married woman that works (yes, this is a fact of life in Switzerland. Please tell me why no one is protesting discrimination?).

To be honest, the Frau does not really know what it is like to be a single gal in Zurich, but she has friends that do know and is hoping they will comment here. She does know that one of her single friends dated many Swiss men and found them all boring. I guess these guys didn’t talk much and the Frau’s friend always felt like she had to lead the conversation. But the world has a lot of boring guys. The Frau’s friend may have just been unlucky. The Frau herself has a couple of Swiss guy friends that are so far from boring that they sing Frank Sinatra tunes in strip clubs to earn extra vacation days at their Zurich ad agency. Yes.

Any recommendations on where to live? The short answer: wherever you can find an apartment. Zurich has less than 1% vacancy so it's hard to be picky. The long answer: read Where should I live in Zurich? Be sure to check the comments. And don’t worry about green space and a place to jog. Foot trails in Switzerland are literally outside every doorstep.

Any suggestions for groups to join? I would start a blog and join the Swiss Expat Bloggers. That’s how I’ve met a lot of people. Blog writers tend to be younger and without children for the obvious reason that they have time to blog. There are plenty of other organizations in Zurich for expats, but these tend to be filled with wives of CEOs who have 2.5 kids, eat $50 lunches every day, and spend their time shopping at Prada. There’s nothing wrong with shopping at Prada. If you like purses.

Cold people, weather, rigid, unwelcoming? Cold people: yes, they can seem that way as they don’t usually smile or make small talk with strangers. But if you can get past their hard exterior the Swiss people are generally kind and loyal. Weather: you’ll be fine with it. You come from London. Rigid: yes, do not put your garbage out a minute too early or you will pay the price. Unwelcoming: yes, there is a lot of xenophobia in Switzerland. On one hand, can you blame the Swiss when 20% of their country is foreign? On the other hand, the discrimination against certain kinds of foreigners is outright embarrassing for a country that prides itself on being neutral. The United Nations agrees.

Ok, yodelers, the Frau does not have all the answers. Let’s help Single in the City make a wise decision. Should she move to Zurich? The Frau thinks she should. She thinks there's a reason so many expats come to Switzerland and then never leave. What do you say?

Anything for Sun (and Sales)

When you live under a gigantic cloud (uh, I mean, in Switzerland), the summer can be stressful. Last week, the sun came out for maybe three hours. And when it did, I was desperate.

“Let’s go for a bike ride,” I told my husband on Friday night, when the sun decided to come out at 7 p.m. after an entire week of rain.

“Now?” he asked. We had just eaten dinner.

“Now,” I said, pointing at the blue sky, “Hurry.”

When you only see a few hours of sunshine a week, you have to get outside when it shines. Fast.

It’s kind of a stressful way to live, never knowing when your next bit of sun will shine.

The Swiss sun makes me drop everything I’m doing when it comes out. Speaking of dropping everything, Migros announced a 10% off sale last Thursday to celebrate the Swiss win. I hurried there. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think I was about to save hundreds rather than CHF 10.

Yep. That’s when you know you’re becoming Swiss: you’ll drop everything for a little sun. Or a 10% off sale.

Dear Frau: This weather sucks!

Welcome to the latest edition of Dear Frau. It's kind of like Dear Abby, except with an international twist. If you have a question about life in Switzerland, be sure to contact the Frau and maybe you're little Frage will be in the next Dear Frau column. And as always, the Frau does not have all the answers and welcomes your solutions to these questions in the comments section.

Dear Frau,

What is up with the weather in Zurich? It rains almost every day. And what the heck is there to do when it’s Sunday or a holiday and all the stores are closed and the weather still sucks?

Danke,

Soggy in Zurich

Dear Soggy in Zurich,

Look on the bright side. At least you don’t live in Bergen, Norway, where it rains about 235 days a year.

Zurich does get more rain than many European cities and The Frau has a friend that got so depressed by the gray skies that she bought a sun lamp.

It can be frustrating to watch, but the Swiss are so used to bad weather, they don’t even seem to notice it (maybe you’ve seen them sitting outside in cafes when it’s 5 degrees outside). The Frau’s neighbor even goes flowering picking in the rain.

Anyhow, if you’re the type that would like to stay dry, here are some Sunday and holiday suggestions for making all this rain tolerable:

Visit the Frau’s recommended Swiss museums worth your time and money

Read a good book. The Frau has collected a list of especially good reads for expats.

Go to the spa or to your nearest indoor pool.

Go to a movie. Movies listed as E/d/f, for example, are in English with German and French subtitles. Remember that movies here come with an intermission. No, the film is not broken even though they may have cut Tom Cruise off mid-sentence. It’s just time to get a beer.

Read a good blog. Here’s a new arrival to the Swiss Blogging community: Expat CH by Bill Harby. Or check out the latest on swissinfo's Write On blog. They change writers here every two months, so you'll always get a fresh take on things.

Take a cooking class. For example, Hiltl often offers Sunday classes.

Plan your next vacation. Ideally to Dry Valley in Antarctica.

Ok, the Frau is running out of ideas. Anyone else want to chime in to help Soggy in Zurich? What do you do when it rains on Sunday?

Burn Böögg, Burn

I’ve got to say, when it comes to summer weather prediction, the Swiss have got it right. I mean, who wants to rely on a wimpy Groundhog seeing its shadow (like they do in the U.S.) when you can name a snowman the “Böögg”, burn him at the stake while prancing around him on horseback, and use this as a reason to take the afternoon off from work?

Forget sweet little Heidi. The Böögg is the bomb in Switzerland.

And he really does explode. He’s made of straw and cotton and filled with firecrackers. The longer it takes for his head to blow up, the longer it will take for summer to appear. The festival is called Sechseläuten and will be held this year on April 20th in Zurich.

Despite the Böögg’s fate, I don’t feel sorry for him at all. Even though he’s going to end up in a pile of ashes no matter what, it sort of serves him right. I mean last year, his firework-packed head took over 26 minutes to blow up. The nerve. Because as most Swiss people know, any Böögg explosion time lasting over about 10 minutes predicts a cold, hard summer for Switzerland.

I don’t know if I can even call what we had last year a summer. So I’m ready to see this Böögg guy burn. Especially since this year, thanks to a Swiss friend with access to a balcony above it all, I might actually see more than the back of people’s heads and the rising smoke.

But no matter where I end up for the festivities, let’s just hope last year’s outcome doesn’t repeat itself. Because by last July, it was sweater time. As I put on my black coat to mourn the weather, there was only one guy I could blame. And his name was Böögg.

Blame it on the Böögg

Do you ever find yourself apologizing for Switzerland’s weather to visitors?

They always want to know how the weather will be during the specific time they will be visiting.

“June,” they prod me, “it must be nice in June.”

Sadly, my answer is usually the same.

“Sorry. But it will probably be cold. With a 95% chance of rain.”

I hate to be negative. But even most Swiss people agree that their weather is terrible.

To read more about my musings about the generally crappy Swiss weather, visit Blame it on the Böögg featured this week on glimpse.org.

The Four Seasons: Winter, Winter, Winter and Winter

After living in Switzerland for over 2 years, I think it is fair for me to say that the weather sucks. Right now it's mid-July, and it feels like March. It's been raining for three days straight and it's so cold that I considered getting out my little space heater to warm my toes. I keep thinking, maybe I'm not being fair, that this is just a freak incident, but then I thought back to last July, when my aunt was here and we went hiking. I couldn't even hold my hiking sticks without my fingers freezing off. So no, this weather, sadly enough, appears to be normal.

My husband, being the great boss that he is, organized a team-building outing for his department. It was a build-a-bridge very engineering activity somewhere outdoors near Lake Zurich. Even they were calling him this morning, saying his event may be cancelled due to weather. Never mind the fact that this weekend he went out of his way to buy vegi burgers for one of his employees to grill at the lunch, where he figured the choice of sausages or sausages wouldn't really cut it for the vegetarian on his team.

The main problem is that in Switzerland, there is just not much to do when the weather is bad. Sundays are the worst since no stores are open. Yesterday, after jogging in the rain, we decided to check out Musee Bizarre in Baden for lack of anything else to do. Like most Swiss museums, it took longer to get there than to go through the museum. There was about three tiny rooms of exhibit and the museum was the size of our apartment. Still, the size did not seem to influence the price, as we still paid 20 CHF total for our 10 minutes of amusement.

Of course, there are pleasant days scattered here and there. You just never know when they will be. The only thing you can guarantee is that they'll probably fall on a Wednesday.

The only redeeming factor to all of this is that at least now I'm starting to understand why no one smiles. It's hard to look happy when the even the sun is a foreigner. It's November on everyone's faces all year, but really, who can blame them?