What You Never Thought You'd Miss about Switzerland

Here’s something The Frau thought she’d never miss about Switzerland: mold.

And yet there it is, yodelers. About four months into her American Experiment, The Frau misses mold.

Will those strawberries go bad before you can eat them?
That depends. Which country did you buy them in?

Mainly, she misses it in her refrigerator. Does this make any sense? The Frau doesn’t know. But somehow she finds herself nostalgic for those Swiss strawberries that used to go bad five minutes after she bought them. Well, ok maybe not those. More like the ones that molded after 24 hours. Mold was like proof that they were the real deal fruit product, oder?

The Frau also misses bread that hardens in a day. Even freshly made bread in America doesn’t get stale in a day. This perplexes The Frau.

The Frau also misses being able to buy a ripe banana. (And also being able to weigh this ripe banana and put a price sticker on it BEFORE purchasing it so that when Toddler M is begging for a banana while still being held hostage in the shopping cart she can eat it without this whole process being considered stealing later.)

But in general, here’s the thing that scares The Frau about America. The food here doesn’t go bad. She buys a nice batch of fresh cilantro on Sunday and it’s fine to use the following Saturday. It’s also usually still good the following Saturday after that. This kind of concept just does not exist in Switzerland.

Now. On one hand, it’s great. The Frau only needs to shop for food once a week in America and she saves a lot of money not having to rebuy produce that has molded before she intended to use it. In Switzerland, she went to the grocery store at least every other day and only bought for meals about one or two days in advance.

But on the other hand, it’s frightening. What the heck do they do to American food that they don’t do to Swiss food? Buy normal food or buy organic, no matter which version you choose, it still lasts longer in the U.S.

So. The Frau may not last long in the U.S. for fear of the consequences.

Anyone else love their Swiss mold?

You Know You're in Switzerland When…

an ass is beautiful.

everything is just a bit more expensive.

plain m&m's are a new phenomenon.

How do you know you're in Switzerland?

What do the Swiss think of Americans?

Bell, a meat brand in Switzerland, has a new ad campaign advertising American style BBQ. Based on my last post, I thought their headline was actually quite appropriate: Think Big. Grill Big.

I don't think I could sum up American life much better. Could you?

What the Swiss think of America

Wow, it's all of America in one big logo, courtesy of the American Bar & Restaurant in St. Gallen. (Note: Believe it or not, the American Bar & Restaurant is actually a Swiss chain--they are also in hotspots like Brütten and Mutschellen.)

Of course, the Frau has been to the American Bar & Restaurant–on her birthday, of course. But you wouldn't expect any less of her, oder? For her first impressions of the restaurant, click here.

Now let's see. What do we have in this fantastic logo?

Football (an Illini player, they have good taste).

Police.

Big buildings.

Big birds.

Big rockets.

Big boats.

Big bridges.

Big parks.

And a bunch of presidents that are larger than life.

I'd say they did a good job summing up America. The only thing that could possibly be improved would be the addition of a big lawyer right in the center of it all (did you know a 4-year old can now be sued for negligence?).

Subway in Baden

I was really excited when I heard Subway was coming to Baden. Finally, a place to go in Switzerland where a sandwich includes more than just bread and one ingredient. 

But then I found out the prices. CHF 18 ($18) for a "Foot-long" value meal? Maybe I'm not so excited about Subway after all. I could have a "Sub Platter" for that price in the U.S.

Alas, the prices aren't stopping the Swiss (they never have). Whenever I walk by, the Subway in Baden is always packed with people. Elementary school kids, teenagers, adults. Apparently, the Swiss are warming to the idea of eating chips with their sandwiches. And shelling out the big Francs to do it.

In other American fast food news, apparently they are going to renovate the Baden train station (the oldest train station in Switzerland) and install a Starbucks next year. What's next? My little medieval Swiss village is slowly selling out. McDonalds. Burger King. Subway. Next thing you know, we'll be celebrating the Fourth of July too. 

What do you think of all this Americana taking over Switzerland?

Swiss Skimpiness and Skinniness

"You must have lived in Switzerland for awhile now," said a Swiss colleague to me over lunch one day.
"Why?" I asked.
"Because you're not fat anymore," he said.
Clearly, as an American, I must have been fat in a former life.

Which brings me to point #2. Breakfast at Manor.

When it comes right down to it, maybe the Swiss aren't fat because they can't afford to be. After all, that extra butter packet doesn't come free. And neither does that extra pad of jam. 

This ad, for breakfast at Manor (which is actually a great deal at CHF 6 when you consider one sip of orange juice can cost that alone) is telling of Swiss culture by the description of what's included in this deal:

1 cup of coffee or espresso

1 dl orange juice 

1 croissant

1 slice of bread

1 small roll

1 butter packet

1 jelly packet

I can just hear my Swiss neighbor,

"We have to go to Manor, because one pad of butter is free there!" 

Earth shattering for the typical Swiss.

Anyhow, besides the fact that your one dl of orange juice will be strictly observed with a line on the glass (not to mention this amount is equivalent to one American sip), I find the whole one butter packet and one jelly packet reflective of the whole culture of Swiss stinginess and restraint. But maybe if American restaurants charged their customers for things like butter, we'd have less waste and smaller waistlines? (Or maybe just smaller purses, if you're the type that pockets these things from American diners like my grandmother did).

Something to think about as I ponder my former fat self.

Germany: Easy to Love

A friend of mine recently had his first experience driving on Germany's Autobahn. He loved making his American-made rental car race the BMWs but it just made me wonder, why do people in Germany drive so fast?

Then I went to a Galeria Kaufhof and it all became clear. The Germans can't help it--not only do they have no speed limits but they're also high on sugar.

Between the availability of Cherry Coke and the Jelly Belly bars at the Galeria Kaufhof in Munich, where I can pick out all the cotton candy, popcorn, and coconut flavored jelly beans without having to deal with mint, I have to say, the availability of products at the top of the food pyramid in Germany is quite astounding. As an American who used to survive on junk food before she moved to Switzerland and was forced to buy fresh, I can't help but thank Germany for encouraging me to enjoy a sugar high on every visit over the border.

Great Tapas Bar in Barcelona

One of the great things about Spain is eating. On our trip, my husband and I went out of our way to find the non-touristy eateries since non-touristy areas equal two things: better food and better prices.

We weren't let down with Sol Soler, located in the Carrer del Planeta in the Gràcia district. Gràcia used to be a separate city in itself before Barcelona became as sprawling as it is today. It's definitely where you'll find the locals as well as plenty of little tapas bars and also a large collection of Turkish food.

Guadi's Parc Güell is also located in the Gràcia district. More on that later.

Barcelona is a little tricky, since the language is Catalan and not Spanish. So they say "Hola," but also "Merci." With that weird combination, we have to say, we felt right at home after dealing with Swiss German. But we found a lot of people spoke English, even the guy running Sol Soler. But either way, you can usually go up to the counter and just point at what you want.

At Sol Soler, I recommend the chicken wings, tomato/olive oil bread (a Barcelona speciality), the tomato tortilla, the Greek salad, and the fried potatoes. Add a couple of beers and you've got a complete meal for two. For under 20 Euros, no less.


It was hard to come back to Switzerland.

The Dairy Diaries in Swiss News

Milk. Nice and toasty in a box. I don't know about other expats in Switzerland, but as an American, one of the biggest shocks to my system was getting used to the milk in this country--not to mention the novelty that I could buy it off an unrefrigerated shelf.

During my first few months here, I wandered aimlessly in a dairy daze, unable to fathom finding milk in any container other than plastic. Somehow, "cardboard box" and "milk" didn't ever have a relationship in my experience.

It also took me forever to find anything even close to my preferred American milkfat of 1% (I now have adjusted to the Swiss 1.5%). But it tastes different. After 2.5 years, I still can't drink it from a glass. I know this is pathetic and sad, but I just can't.

Anyhow, March's issue of Swiss News includes an essay by yours truly on this very topic-milk. Funny how even a food item this basic can be so different in a foreign land. I hope some of you out there can relate to this milk madness.

Starbucks Coming Soon

This headline, "Starbucks Bald in Baden," really grabbed my attention. Not only does it sound hilarious to an English-speaker, conjuring up images of bad haircuts, but a Starbucks coming to Baden this year will make for the third American food chain in this little town of 16,000.

When I moved to Baden in 2006, the only American fast-food chain here was McDonald's. We celebrated the 4th of July there every year for lack of anywhere more special to go. But last year, Burger King moved in a block away from the McDonald's. If I hadn't have been elsewhere during American Independence Day I wouldn't have known which establishment to visit. And this year, I'll have the option of celebrating at Starbucks too. A cornucopia of Americana. All within a 5-minute walk of my Swiss front door.

According to the above newspaper article, "Baden is booming." It's apparently become such a town of statue that every American chain can't wait to come here. What an accomplishment.

However, my 74-year-old neighbor is not really seeing the Starbucks thing as an accomplishment. And I'm not surprised. Most of the American chain clientele in Switzerland appear to be Swiss teenagers who have not yet become price insensitive and willing to pay five times the price of something for the sole reason that it is Swiss.

It makes me wonder, though, what will become of the Caffe Spettacolo and other coffee shops that line the main street. Will they go out of business or will the Swiss continue their loyalty to Swiss establishments? And does Baden really need ten coffee shops? ( After all, it's got about that many shoe stores.)

The only good thing about Starbucks is that their entire menu is in English. If you even try to Germanize it when you order, you'll get blank stares from the cashiers. But then again, who can translate a Tall Arabian Mocha Soy? That's not English. At least the English I used to know.

Perhaps Starbucks is threatening more than just Baden. It's threatening our entire language as we know it. Just wait until all these Europeans go around the U.S. after hanging out at Starbucks thinking they're ordering in English. "Don't you get it?" they'll say to a waitress at Applebees in L.A., I said I want a "Tall Coke Light."

American Grocery Store, I Will Not Forget Thee

After squeezing through the tiny aisles of the Swiss grocery store, Coop, yesterday and almost being run over by a non-customer friendly shelf stocker, I began pining for the gigantic food store on steroids that is the typical American grocery store, where my personal space can be the size of an entire Swiss canton.
My first visit to the local Chicago area Dominick's after being away never fails to be awe inspiring. I mean look at the sign above. I can't help but exclaim over entire aisles for chips and soads and just the sheer amount of choices available--not to mention helpful aisle signs that tell me whether the items in its particular aisle are suitable for breakfast, lunch or dinner, in case I get overwhelmed. Wow. It's not that I totally forget about all of this. It's just that after shopping in Swiss grocery stores the size of some American closets, it's easy to lose your perspective.
Plus there are always interesting new improvements every year, like cup-holders in shopping carts that could hold a drink larger than one that could fit in my Swiss fridge. Americans have so much. I don't think they always appreciate it all, not to mention the convenience of so many prepared foods.

So I took photos to look back on some day, when I'm a real American resident again, and forget just how amazing for example, this set of ready-made gingerbread men are, where all I have to do is open the box, take out the decorating materials, put a raisin on a cookie, and call that cooking.

A Taste of Americana, Part I

Last week at Coop I discovered the Noodle Bowl. I don't know if this is a new product or not, but it caught my eye since it was one of the few items in the meat section that was actually under SFr 5 thanks to the 50% discount. Since the Noodle Bowl could be cooked in under 5 minutes and required only dumping the ingredients in a pan, it fit my old American cooking requirements and I was excited to revel in such fine dining possibility once again.



So I made it. It was quick. It was easy. And...and then I just couldn't eat it. While I would have enjoyed this chicken satay meal three years ago, I couldn't eat it last week. And Switzerland is to blame. For over two years now, the country has forced me to buy fresh food almost every single day and cook from scratch. And now I've arrived at the point of no return.



Last night, my mother-in-law called just as I was in the middle of making risotto with fresh vegetables and cheese. When I told her what I was cooking, she sounded kind of revolted as only an American could. "Well, I'm having KFC for lunch right now," she said, clearly much happier with her eating option. And the thing is, I wasn't even jealous.