Ten Reasons The Frau is Staying in the U.S. (for now)

Dear Yodelers,

Apologies, it's been awhile. The Frau is sorry.

Americans, as you know, tell you they are sorry when they don't-even-but-almost run into you. And they are sorry when they don't blog as often as they should too.

So here's a big American sorry. And another big American excuse: busy, busy, busy.

But The Frau can say she is busy and sorry. Because The Frau is an American in America. At least for now. 

Yes, The Frau and her family will stay in the U.S. until they are ready for another adventure abroad-–which they will be at some point-–especially if a certain horrid, disgusting excuse for a human being is elected in November.

Yes, it was hard to give up that Swiss C-permit, Yodelers. It was so tempting to run back to Switzerland before it expired, especially with the path to destruction the U.S. appears to be on. But alas, as some of you know, transitions–even good ones–are horrid. So are moving boxes, many of which have STILL not been unpacked even after two years. 

Also, it took The Frau 1.5 years to feel sort-of-normal in the U.S. and it was hard to think about transitioning back to Switzerland so soon. That is reason one for staying. For now.

Choosing between countries is never easy.

Reason two is that The Frau could not imagine telling Child M (yes, she is a little child now and not a baby or toddler!) that she could not just go over to Grandma's house whenever she pleased. Child M has a close relationship with two grandmothers now that could not be replicated if she was 5,000 miles from them.

Reason three is related to reason two--extended family support for working parents is amazing. The Frau has been able to travel for work (and pleasure!) and take on new professional challenges without worry thanks to two caring grandmothers that take care of Child M very, very often.

Reason four. Child M is at an amazing school that is perfect for her. It was a struggle to find the right place for her in the U.S., but this school is it. Changing schools again now is not an appealing option.

Reason five. The Frau has committed to being involved in local politics for the next year. She desperately wants to make a difference in a country that desperately needs fresh ideas and global perspectives. America needs more repatriates in politics because repatriates see their country in a way someone who has never left it simply can't.

Reason six. The Frau really does like living in a house again. Space is nice. Not having to share a laundry room is nice. Not having to live up to Swiss standards of cleanliness is nice.

Reason seven. The Frau spent 8.5 years traveling Europe and needs to travel North America. She recently had the pleasure of discovering both Alexandria and Georgetown around the DC area and seeing a bit of Phoenix. And Indiana. Yes, even Indiana was surprisingly wonderful in its own way.

Reason eight. English. Living among those speaking your native language allows you to be fully engaged, rather than always an outsider looking in (although The Frau still sometimes feels like an outsider in the U.S.).

Reason nine. Switzerland will always be there. Child M's ability to have a close relationship with older family members will not.

Reason ten. The little things: New Glarus, Wisconsin gives The Frau a little Swissness when she needs it. Amazing restaurant food without walking distance from her house, especially of the ethnic variety at amazing prices. Free water. Libraries with English books. 

Of course, with all the positives, there are many negatives to American life right now. But that's another blog post, mitenand...

Dear Frau: How Can I Move to Switzerland?

The Frau has been a bit overwhelmed lately. Her inbox is still overflowing from the Vox piece about how Switzerland ruined The Frau for American life.

One of the things many people asked in their emails was this: How Can I Move To Switzerland Too?

Out of exhaustion and guilt for not replying to every person, The Frau has decided to answer this question here. But she’d like your help, yodelers. If you’ve moved to Switzerland from elsewhere, what was your path? If you don’t mind leaving a note in the comments, it would help a lot of people who are tired of America and ready for a country whose government actually cares about its people.

That being said, as The Frau has said before—and has also written an entire book about—the reality of life in Switzerland is not always a box of chocolates either.

But for those who still want to go abroad, The Frau’s recommended path is her own:

Work for an international company in your own country for a couple of years.

Once they like you, ask if a transfer would be possible.

If they say yes, great. You’re set. Hopefully moving costs and bureaucracy are taken care of. (Well, the bureaucracy never ends…just so you know.)

Another path?

Go abroad as a student. The Frau met with a nice young man from Chicago this week who wants to get out of Chicago. His plan is law school in Australia. That works too.

Another path?

Go visit Switzerland and try to network while you’re there. This could work, eventually, never say never. Or hey, apply to jobs in the country via various job boards or through a recruiter. Just know that unless you have VERY unique skills (especially if you’re from the U.S. or Canada—in other words, NOT living in the European Union), your path will be hard. The Swiss government requires any company giving a foreigner a job to prove to them that they couldn’t find a Swiss person to do that work. Or a non-EU person. Americans are third-string in Switzerland. That’s why it’s better to try the first two paths if you can.

Still have questions? Any yodelers have answers or other paths? Leave a comment.

Moving Day. The Swiss Version.

The Swiss have a special culture. And sometimes The Frau needs to be reminded just how special it is. By Mexicans.

In particular, the wonderful Mexican movers that unpacked The Frau’s container yesterday.

Her Mexican movers were careful, gracious, and did a great job. But they couldn’t help but comment on the packing job that the Swiss had done, since they had the unfortunate task of well, un-doing it.

If you can't imagine the extremes the Swiss go to with packing, it's your lucky day because The Frau is going to show you just all that this wonderful culture is capable of.

Package number 40 of 342 upon arrival.

Package 40 being unwrapped.

Oh, a collection of shopping bags. Thank goodness it was bubble wrapped for extra protection. Now, if the shopping bags got this much wrapping care, imagine a bike. Or better yet, don't imagine it. Just enjoy it.

The Campaign for Expat Name Reform

When you become a parent, you get a new name: Mom or Dad. You have a new role, a new identity, and this name helps you make the transition to parenthood as well as separate your old self from your new one.

Step off that plane with a new name

But when most people move abroad, they don’t take a new name for their new role as The Foreigner. 

If you were like the Frau, you didn’t change your name after changing countries, so your old and new identities collided like tectonic plates and the earthquake that shook your body was probably a 9.0 on the Richter scale.

That’s why the Frau is campaigning for Expat Name Reform in Switzerland. The new law would say that all foreigners should take a new name when moving to Switzerland in order to protect their old sense of self.

So what are you waiting for, expats? Let’s choose a nice Swiss name and let’s get going.

Regula? Perfect.

Ok. Let Regula get cut in front of at the cheese counter. Let Regula smile at people and let Regula feel defeated when they don’t smile back. Let Regula protect Jennifer or Katie or Cathy or whoever you are inside. Don’t let your two identities meet.

The Frau’s Campaign for Expat Name Reform was inspired by Peter Hessler’s book about living in China, River Town (great book for expats, by the way).

In China, expats usually take Chinese names. Hessler took one right away, and describes how his Chinese identity, Ho Wei was very different from Peter Hessler. In fact, he says, the two never really interacted. Ho Wei was passive, dumb, and a toddler in terms of dealing with his Chinese world. But he never collided with Peter, who was more assertive, Oxford-smart, and a world traveler.

Anyway, if you read this blog, you know Chantal eventually became “The Frau.” But looking back, Chantal wishes she had become The Frau right away.

Here’s why:

After moving to Switzerland, things happened to Chantal and she had no control over them. Chantal wasn’t used to being rendered mute but Swiss German had a funny way of doing that to her. She had trouble separating who she used to be (Ms. 4.0 Perfectionist Who Was Going to Conquer the World With Her Brilliance) with who she had become (Ms. I Failed At Buying Beef So We’ll Be Having Pork Stroganoff for Dinner).

So do yourself a favor, new expats, and find yourself a new name to go with your new country. Find your “Frau“ or your “Ho Wei” and preserve the smart, worldly you before it gets ripped apart by people who think you’ll automatically understand them if they talk louder.

If you agree with Expat Name Reform, please sign the petition otherwise known as the comment board and include your preferred Swiss name.

The decision to move abroad

Resigning from a job, selling a house and/or car, and leaving family and friends to move abroad can be scary. But I did it in 2006. And now I’m sharing the steps (in the order that they appeared) that led me to work up the nerve to move abroad:

1. Get fateful email from husband: “I got the offer.”
2. Google, “Should I move abroad?”
3. Eat lots of high fructose corn syrup.
4. Google, “Living abroad.”
5. Toss. Turn. Repeat.
6. Wear sunglasses to cover up bags under eyes.
7. Remember who is president (2006).
8. Repeat #7. A lot.
9. Go to work. Stare at vacation balance. Shake head.
10. Realize looking back and thinking, “what if?” would suck.

If you’re living abroad, what made you decide to go? If you’re not, what’s holding you back?

This post first appeared on my blog about the international writing life, Writer Abroad.

Dear Frau: Where should I live in Zurich?

Welcome to another edition of Dear Frau. It's kind of like Dear Abby, except with an international twist. If you have a question, be sure to contact the Frau and maybe your little Frage will be in the next Dear Frau.

Dear Frau,

I'm moving to Zurich with my husband in August. My husband and I will be working in Adliswil (very close to Kreis 2). If you have any tips on cool areas to look for an apartment that would be very handy.

Danke,

Homeless

Dear Homeless,

Wilkommen! First off, it’s great that you are looking ahead of time. Finding an apartment in Zurich is not for the faint of heart, as vacancy is usually less than 1% and it’s not unusual for 600 people to show up for one little apartment open house.

Never fear. You will find something. Everyone does. Homelessness is not a problem in der Schweiz.

As far as “cool areas” in Zurich, that depends on your definition of cool. The Frau doesn’t pretend to be cool, after all, she lives in Canton Aargau, 15 whole miles west of Zurich (can you imagine living that far out?!), and goes around town with a little orange IKEA cart filled with plastic bottles.

But some people she knows are cool so here’s what she’s learned:

If cool means “exclusive,” like it does for one of The Frau's Swiss friends, you’ll want to be seen in Zurich’s expensive Seefeld area, which is on the lake on the “gold coast” side.

If cool means “old money”, like it does for many Zurichers, you’ll want to be seen on what is known as the Zürichberg, the area up on the hill near the zoo where many mansions have views of the city and the lake.

If cool means “walk to work”, then The Frau would live in Kreis 2, which you mention is close to your place of employment. It’s on the “silver coast”, but only Swiss people care about all that gold anyway.

If cool means trendy, The Frau would live in the industrial area turned art district, Kreis 5.

If cool means living in the old town, The Frau would live in Kreis 1/Niederdorf. (Note: old towns usually come with church bells and clock towers. The Frau speaks from experience).

If cool means living with a bunch of French expats, then check out Dübendorf. You wouldn't know it by the name, but this place is jumping with Frenchies. Oui, oui.

For more info on districts in Zurich, click here.

Ok Zurichers, it's your turn. If you’re cool (or even if you’re not), then please help the homeless. Are you happy with your locale? If you could live anywhere in Zurich, where would you live?

Swiss Survival Kits

Hello Yodelers,

Tomorrow, stay tuned for another sorry soul who needs your help. I mean, stay tuned for the Dear Frau column. Thanks to all who gave advice last week on what to pack when moving to Switzerland. But in the meantime, some news and links for you:

Last week, I was over on Expatica giving advice on how to save money in Switzerland. Yes, it's possible.

Yesterday, I was over at ACC talking about the 25 ways you know you're in Switzerland. For instance, does every other country you visit now seem cheap?

And today I'm over at Two Fools in Zurich, trying to explain why Americans are so creative in German class.

Finally, I just started offering a Swiss Survival Kit, in other words, specially chosen items of interest for Yodelers on Amazon.com. Any items you order directly from this site will get me a profit of 4%. I can't wait to get rich. I might even make enough to buy a ketchup packet from the Swiss McDonald's! But mainly, I want to help, and these are the items that helped me survive this crazy country. If there are other items you've found helpful that I should know about, please leave a comment and I'll add them to the survival kit.

Dear Frau: What should I pack?

Welcome to the fourth edition of Dear Frau. It's kind of like Dear Abby, except with an international twist. If you have a question, be sure to contact the Frau and maybe your little Frage will be in next week's Dear Frau column.

Dear Frau:

I’m moving from the USA to Switzerland soon. Are there things I should definitely pick up here before moving?

Thanks,

Soon in Lausanne

Dear Soon in Lausanne,

Is Obama the U.S. President? Is Switzerland full of chocolate? Is this blog worth reading? The answer is yes.

Yes, you should definitely pick up things before moving to Switzerland especially if (1) you have a paid move and (2) want to save money.

It’s not that Switzerland doesn’t have stuff, it’s just that the stuff they sell is overpriced compared to its U.S. equivalent. And if you plan to go car-less like me and many expats living here, it makes living great, but buying things a hassle. (This comes from someone who knows hassle—she brings her six-foot Christmas tree home on a Swiss bus every year).

If there are certain non-perishable foods (and let’s be honest, in U.S. grocery stores that’s pretty much all there is) that you crave, make sure to stock up on those.

If you are moving American beds, it might be smart to buy an extra set of sheets because European bed sizes are different and if you soil your sheets, well, you don’t want to end up having to buy an entire new bed because of it.

If you’re a book-a-holic like the Frau, stock up on English books you want to read because they go about $30 a paperback in Switzerland. Planning on traveling around Europe? Buy a few guidebooks in advance. What about a French-English dictionary, n’est pas?

Shoes are another consideration to bring, especially athletic shoes, which in Switzerland can run $150-200 for a basic pair of running shoes. The Frau does not pretend to understand Swiss prices; she just tries to avoid paying them. (She recently discovered that Intersport sells sweatsuits for the reasonable equivalent of $150. Wow. No wonder Swiss people don't wear these things).

Cold/Flu medicine, aspirin, these would all be smart to bring since Swiss colds are nasty and the amount of foreign languages thrown around this little country can often cause headaches.

If you’re not being moved, that sucks but you’ll survive. And paying for a few extra suitcases on the plane may be worth it. Your best bet for affordable furniture in Switzerland is either IKEA or Interio.

Oh, and if you have room in your luggage after all of this, the Frau wouldn’t mind some Reese’s Pieces. The ones her sister brought her last week are almost gone already.

Now the Frau is tired, craving peanut butter (put that on the packing list!), and has run out of ideas. Anyone else have packing suggestions for our soon to be expat? What did you not bring and wish you had?

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

When my husband was first given an offer to work in Switzerland, the first thing I did was ask the question, "should I move abroad?" Unfortunately, I asked Google, and Google didn't really have an answer for that. But British writer and journalist Paul Allen does. He's written an ebook called, Should I Stay Or Should I Go? The Truth about Moving Abroad and Whether it's Right for You, and I can't help but wish something like this would have been available four years ago, when I was first deciding whether or not to move to Switzerland. Paul Allen now lives in northern Spain and joins me over at Writer Abroad to talk about his book and about being a writer in Spain.

What about you? Did you frantically search the Internet to like me looking for advice about moving abroad? Or how did you make your decision to stay or go?