The American public transportation system. It makes you want to drive.

Yodelers. There is something wrong with the American public transportation system. It's so good (insert sarcasm) it makes you want to drive.

But then, you don’t want to drive, because then you sit in endless traffic (because everyone else has come to the same conclusion that their public transport system won't work for them) and then you have to pay $30 to park, and then you can't even find a place to park.

Ok, ok. Maybe The Frau got spoiled by Switzerland. But based on all the Americans complaining about traffic, commutes, and lack of public transport options, maybe, just maybe, The Frau has every right to complain.

New York's La Guardia Airport, for example, DOES NOT CONNECT to New York's metro system. Imagine a European city not connecting its major airport to its train or subway system. It's just unthinkable. 

Well, the La Guardia example meant that it cost The Frau over $100 to get to a friend's house in a taxi. Americans pay the price for their lack of public transport every time they have to drive and park or take a taxi. It's insane.

The Frau’s sister recently had to change apartments in Boston. She now lives 6 miles from work. Sounds good, right? But to get to her office via American public transport, it takes her…drum roll…90 minutes.

There are no extra rides when you need them in the U.S.

This is not a joke. This is how broken the American transportation system is.

So The Frau’s sister tried driving. Took 45 minutes and cost $27 a day to park. But on days there is a baseball game, the parking garage kicks you out at 4:30 p.m. Even though you are required to pay $27 for the DAY. 

Desperate, The Frau’s sister tried biking to work. Took 45 minutes (wow, faster than public transport!) but the route is along busy roads and doesn’t feel very safe nor will it work during half the year in the snow.

Now let's go to another American city: Chicago. Compared to Boston, Chicago’s transport system is amazing. As amazing as a transport system is that doesn’t connect major train stations with other forms of transport can be, that is. As amazing as a transport system can be that can take you 15 miles in 20 minutes, but then take 45 minutes to go the last 1.5 miles of your journey. Will Chicago ever consider bus-only lanes? That is the question.

Needless to say, The Frau misses Swiss public transport. Seeing the Gotthard Tunnel getting ready to open on June 1 does not make this any easier.

See, it took the Swiss 17 years to build a 35-mile long tunnel through a mountain. In comparison, it took 70 years for one Chicago suburb just to repave 10 miles of their roads. Yes. Supposedly this summer, after 70 years, the suburb next to the one The Frau is living in will fix the pothole-ridden roads and The Frau might be able to bike down the street again.

Oh, America, there’s a reason The Frau works from home.

News from Switzerland: Böögg is out. Bear poop is in.

Forget groundhogs seeing shadows in Punxsutawney or snowmen being burned to oblivion in Zurich. Bear poop in Goldau is the real deal predictor of spring this year.

Did you get the memo? Bears don’t defecate during hibernation. And they’re the only animals on earth that have this claim to fame.  So the first bear poop of the year is quite the event. Why? Because it signals winter is over. More than an exploding snowman’s head ever could.

So bye bye, Böögg,

So long, Phil.

And hello, Evi.

Evi will tell us when spring is coming.

Evi is a Swiss bear who’s been in hibernation since November at the Nature and Animal Park Goldau. And it’s up to you, Yodelers, to guess that day she will wake up and defecate.

You can do so at www.baereschiss.ch

The Frau is not making this up. Helly Hansen is. In fact, the Helly Hansen Workwear Center’s Winter Clearance sale is going to begin the moment Evi poops—and it includes discounts on winter wear as large as her shit pile. (Excuse The Frau’s French. But it is an official Swiss language.)

Now. The Frau used to be quite amused by Swiss sales, or rather, by the lack of them. She used to look forward to January and July because those were the only months she could buy something Swiss at a discount.

To think: A spring sale is possible in Switzerland, Yodelers! One that depends on a bear to poop out a discount, no less. Wow. And to think The Frau is in the U.S. right now. Sigh. That’s why you, Yodelers, must make up for The Frau’s lack of attendance.

Just think: It’s the best of all possible worlds.  It’s Switzerland both with a sale and a sense of humor.

If you want to show your support for such Swiss sales creativity (and who wouldn’t?), here’s how:

Go to www.baereschiss.ch and enter the date you think Evi will announce it’s spring this year.  Then, make sure to attend the Big Bear Shit Weighing Event (date TBD), which will answer the question: How much discount did the bear defecate?

After that is determined, all shoppers for Helly Hansen winter clothing, whether for work, sport, or leisure, will share the glory of this discount.

Now that’s what The Frau calls a real Swiss deal.

Viel Spass, mitenand.

Start your business in Zurich

The Frau often gets messages from people wanting to know how they can live in or move to Switzerland. Well, here’s a creative option that will get you to Switzerland, Yodelers, and you have exactly one month to prepare your entry:

Zurich is looking for a few good business ideas. Namely, ideas that will help put Zurich on the map as Europe’s digital innovation hub. Sponsored by DigitalZurich2025, KickstartAccelerator wants you to kick start your business idea in Zurich.

Zurich wants your business.

So. Are you an entrepreneur with a new business idea? If so, it's time to take your business international before it's even, well, local.

Apply now to spend three months in Zurich this summer developing your idea into a viable business. Selected founders will be given CHF 25,000, a monthly stipend, mentoring, a shared office space, and access to relevant industry partners.

There are some business idea limitations, however. Your business idea must fit in one of the following four categories: Food, Smart & Connected Machines, FinTech, or Future & Emerging Technologies.

There are no fees to apply. Applications are due March 31. Viel Glück, mitenand.

Why is Switzerland so expensive?

Zurich is one of the most expensive cities in the world.

The Frau has always wondered why Switzerland is so expensive. So she decided to officially find out.

The good news? 

Yes, it is more expensive (lots more expensive!), but if you're working there, you'll save lots of money anyway. 

Read more in The Frau's latest piece for WSJ Expat: Why Switzerland Causes Price Shock and What You Can Do About It.

The big visit to Zurich

Grüezi, People.

The Frau is in Zurich. After a year away, The Frau is back for a visit.

And you know what? She thought she might feel like a tourist, but instead Zurich feels like home. It feels like she never left. It feels like Switzerland is embracing The Frau and The Frau is embracing Switzerland.

So far she's given a reading, gone to her first Swiss wedding, hiked the Alps, gone to two spas, done some writing and copywriting, visited old colleagues and friends, and most importantly, discussed construction schedules and tunnel transport with her old Swiss neighbor over 30+ slices of Raclette.

While visiting old friends in Zurich the other night, The Frau tried to explain to other expats how hard it is to make new friends with Americans back home. 

You know, those friendly, ever-smiling Americans. 

The problem is, once you tell your life story to the average American, and your life story comes to the part about living abroad, suddenly, their eyes gloss over. 

They can't relate to you at all. 

"Oh, you lived in Sweden?" they'll say. "That's nice."

End of story. The average American doesn't want to hear any more.

This is hard for the repatriate, who can't wait to share their experiences.

But until it was recently required for Americans to have passports to go to Canada or a Caribbean island, only 10% of Americans had passports (now 20% do). But still. About nine out of ten Americans can't relate to a repatriate at all.

At one point a few months ago in Chicago, The Frau's husband exclaimed over another American's bumper sticker. It said "CH." 

"Wow," said Mr. Frau. "Switzerland! What connection do you have to it?"

The other American looked at him confused. "What? The CH is for Clarendon Hills," he said.

Clarendon Hills is a Chicago suburb.

So there it is. The hardest part about being home. While your world is big, most Americans' worlds aren't. 

Coming back to the big, wide world solves this.

Needless to say, it's good to be back. 

One Year in the U.S.

Ja, ja, yodelers. The Frau is officially one year into her repatriation experiment.

It hasn’t been an easy year. As Dr. Nan M. Sussman, who researches expat and repat issues has said, repatriation is harder than expatriation.

Dr. Sussman is right.

She’s also correct in saying that it takes at least a year to feel comfortable in your home country again.

One year in, The Frau feels better. She’s not exactly 100% American (will she ever be?) and many American things still piss her off (certain political parties especially) but alas. The Frau is happier than she’s been in a year.

Which begs the question:

Will The Frau return to Switzerland next year?

She doesn’t know. She is returning to Switzerland this month to see how it feels to be there after a year away. Will Switzerland feel like home? Or will it feel like a foreign country? Or somewhere in between?

Only one thing is now certain: the desire to return abroad, whether it is next year or in ten years, will always be there for The Frau. She wrote about this recently for the Wall Street Journal in a piece called The Eternal Expatriate. Once an expat, always an expat, yodelers.

The Frau is excited about her upcoming trip to Switzerland though. (Warning: small promotional blurb ahead.)

For those who are interested, she is speaking on repatriation and expatriate issues as well as reading essays from her work-in-progress, American Life: 30 Things I Wish I’d Known, at an event sponsored by the American Women’s Club of Zurich. It will be held October 16, 2015 at the BellaVista Wine Bar from 6:30-8:30 p.m. Contrary to popular belief, you do not need to be either an American or a woman to attend. See flyer.

The Frau is also teaching at the Zurich Writers Workshop from October 23-25, 2015. There are still a few spots available if you’re interested in attending.

5 Reasons to attend the 2015 Zurich Writers Workshop

As some of you know, The Frau co-founded the Zurich Writers Workshop in 2010, back when she longed for an English-language writing community in Zurich.

Founding the workshop taught her that sometimes as a foreigner, if there’s not something you want in your country of residence, you have to create it yourself. Then you don’t feel so foreign.

In any case, since the founding of the Zurich Writers Workshop, many other English-language writing opportunities have emerged in Zurich thanks to groups like The Woolf and Writers on Board. In fact, there are more options for English-language writers in Zurich than ever before.

Which brings us to the sixth annual Zurich Writers Workshop, which will take place October 23-25, 2015. The Frau has the honor of teaching one of the courses and she would love to see you there.

 

In addition to two intensive workshops, the weekend also includes a Sunday afternoon author reading and panel discussion, which is open to the public (although prior registration is necessary).

Here are five reasons you should attend, brought to you by the very biased opinion of The Frau:

1.    You’ll learn how to improve your fiction writing. Emylia Hall is ZWW’s fiction author in residence this year. The author of three novels, including one set in Lausanne, she'll be teaching a workshop on the craft of fiction with a focus on sense of place. Students will also have the opportunity to have their worked critiqued.

2.    You’ll learn that it only takes 800 words to launch a writing career. The Frau is teaching a workshop called Miniature Memoir: Writing and Publishing Personal Essays. Writing a personal essay is one of the best ways to break into freelancing. During The Frau’s workshop, she will take you from essay idea to international writing career, one miniature memoir at a time.

3.    You’ll be able to ask questions. The author reading and Q&A session on Sunday afternoon, October 25, is open to the public for a fee (with prior registration). The Frau will be reading from her book, Swiss Life: 30 Things I Wish I’d Known as well as from her work-in-progress: American Life: 30 Things I Wish I’d Known and Emylia Hall will be reading from her new novel, The Sea Between Us. And then you’ll have the opportunity to ask everything you’ve ever wanted to know about writing, not writing, life in Switzerland, and life after Switzerland.

4.    You’ll meet other writers. Form critique groups, find a friend, or just get inspired. The workshop welcomes 30 writers from Switzerland and abroad who are as passionate about writing.

5.    You’ll love October in Zurich. October is a stunning time to visit Zurich—if you’re not already there, that is. The leaves peak about the week of the workshop and there are no tourists but still plenty of sunshine. 

Questions? Visit www.zurichwritersworkshop.com

Classical Music in the United States versus Europe

The Frau went to see the Chicago Symphony Orchestra (CSO) last Saturday night. They were playing for the third year at the Morton Arboretum in Chicago’s western suburbs. The concert was wonderful. It made The Frau want to see more of the CSO. Except…

Here’s the thing. Going to most musical events or shows can be a time-consuming, stressful, and costly thing to do in the U.S.

Even with the CSO playing closer to The Frau than in their usual downtown location, this still meant a 25-minute drive to the Arboretum each way, not to mention having to wait another 30 minutes after the show was over just to be able to leave the parking lot due to all congestion. (The Arboretum is not public transport accessible, in case you’re wondering.)

Anyway—The Frau was interviewing an American music professor at a German university on Monday. This professor thought that classical music had much more support in Germany and in Europe than in the U.S. The Frau asked her way.

“Because you can walk to it,” she said.

The Frau never thought about the arts and the support of the arts this way. But this, dear yodelers, may be exactly the reason that arts organizations struggle in the U.S.

When The Frau worked in Zurich, she would just walk over to the Zurich Opera House (a mere four-minute walk from her office) to see a performance. There was no driving, parking, or stress on her time. When the performance was over, she simply caught a direct train to her village, which left from the station a five-minute walk from the Opera House. This train came every 15 minutes, no matter the time of day or night. When she got to her village, she walked three minutes to her apartment.

Compare this to The Frau’s father in Chicago. He would also walk over to the Lyric Opera of Chicago after work. But then he would strategically leave the opera before the performance was over so he could rush to the train station to take a ridiculously slow train back to his Chicago suburb (that only ran once an hour in the evenings) home. When he arrived at the train station in his hometown, he either had to walk two miles home or have my mother pick him up. The lack of transport and good transport options in the U.S. is atrocious and it affects every part of life—even the support of the arts.

The Frau often wishes she could get a CSO subscription. But she’s just not willing to take on the hassle and stress involved with getting to Orchestra Hall and getting home--at least more than once a year.

What do you think about the situation for the arts in Europe versus the United States?