It’s official. Baby M has won the lottery of life. At least according to The Economist, which lists Switzerland as the best country in the world to be born in right now. (The U.S. is down at 16).
But another recent survey, which ranks global motherhood, lists Switzerland as the 18th best country in which to be a mom.
|Switzerland: a good place to be a mom?|
So The Frau, a.k.a., Die Mom, comes in 18th, while Baby M comes in 1st. What accounts for this discrepancy?
We could blame Switzerland’s short 14-week paid maternity leave (short for Europe, Americans would still weep for anything close to this—thus their rank of 25th in the same survey) or the fact that working women in Switzerland are taxed more if they are married...(please don’t get The Frau started on how this is even constitutional, not to mention why every Swiss woman is not out there collecting signatures RIGHT NOW to change it)…
The Frau has an even better answer to this question that goes back to the day she became a mom in Switzerland.
After laboring at home for about 11 hours or so, it was time to go to the hospital. Really, really time.
Mr. Frau ran to the train station to summon a taxi, while The Frau, 9.5 centimeters dilated but didn’t know it yet, leaned against the wall in the lobby of her apartment building. She could barely stand at this point, let alone walk a foot without stopping to wait for another contraction to pass.
After what felt like several decades, The Frau saw a taxi go past her building...but it didn’t stop. Did Mr. Frau and the driver have a language mix-up? Was the taxi driver sadistic? Or just lost? While The Frau stood there in pain, considering the worst, Mr. Frau finally appeared another few decades later and escorted The Frau to the taxi, which had parked around the corner instead of right in front of her apartment building.
But why, fellow yodelers?
Why would someone park around the corner when it was their job to pick up a woman in heavy labor to take her to the hospital?
Because, fellow yodelers, The Frau lives in a pedestrian zone. You are not supposed to drive in a pedestrian zone.
So as it turns out,
The taxi driver wasn’t confused.
The taxi driver wasn’t sadistic.
The taxi driver wasn’t lost.
The taxi driver was Swiss.
This is why Switzerland will never be the number one place to be a mom. Or at least, become one.