The secret place The Frau goes to feel foreign again

It's strange, but sometimes you miss being a foreigner.

The Frau's hometown, Naperville, IL, has a solution for that.

Food stall outside the Asian grocery store in Naperville, IL

It's called the H Mart. 

It was here, in this Asian grocery store last week, that The Frau gripped her shopping list (filled with items she needed to cook some Asian and Indian dishes from her Swiss Hiltl Cookbook), pleasantly overwhelmed with the feeling that she may never find half the things on it.

Most of the people in the store were not speaking English. There were words on the food packages that The Frau couldn't read. Even the vegetables were foreign. 

It was wonderful. 

In fact, it was so foreign and wonderful that The Frau has decided that her New Year's resolution is to come here at least once a month to enjoy that foreign feeling--at least when she's not getting enough of it feeling like a foreigner in her own country.

To think, Yodelers: H Mart has always been there, in The Frau's childhood Chicago suburban village, just waiting for her to come in and appreciate it.

And that day has finally come.

Sometimes it takes being an expat and then coming home again to understand the joy of being out of your element. Many find only fear in this situation. And The Frau is concerned that too many Americans these days find differences scary. To those Americans, The Frau recommends a passport and an airline ticket. Or if that's not possible, then the second best thing: a trip to the local H Mart. 

Repats: Do you have a secret place you go to feel foreign sometimes?

12 Keywords That Bring You Here, Part I

The Frau isn’t really into analytics, but that doesn’t mean she can’t enjoy the Google version. Especially when it tells her how people like you end up here. Over the next two weeks, The Frau will explore 12 interesting keywords that yodelers are using to arrive at One Big Yodel, along with a short commentary and links to other blog posts on these oh, so popular topics.

Life in Switzerland for foreigners

All roads lead to The Frau

Oh, here is the keyword search that sums up The Frau’s entire Swiss experience and blog. Well done, Google searchers! Here are some additional posts you might like:

Foreigner or expat in Switzerland?

9 questions about Switzerland

Six years in Switzerland

Why is Switzerland so rich

Great question, searchers. Well, for one thing, the Swiss buy Swiss. They support themselves whenever possible. It’s a nice concept. But very expensive. Click on the link below for more.

Dear Frau: Why are the Swiss so rich?

Giving birth in Switzerland

How does Google know? Yes, The Frau gave birth in Switzerland. Welcome, future mothers.  You may find a few posts below interesting. Swiss hospitals are very supportive. Just don’t order the sausage salad and you’ll have a pleasant experience.

Five reasons Switzerland is a great place to have a baby

Having a baby in Switzerland: Are you ready?

You know you’re becoming a Swiss parent when…

Reka Checks

Why yes, Google, The Frau will do anything to save money in Switzerland. And Reka Checks are perfect for saving up to 20% on things like train tickets, hotels, and ski lifts. Here are some posts for the Reka-curious:

How to use REKA checks

Your Very own Swiss Holiday Preishit

Eight ways to save money in Switzerland

Switzerland on a budget

Buy Christmas Tree Zürich

The Frau has brought a lot of things home on a bus. A Christmas tree. A carpet. Her brand new baby. But she digresses, quick answer for "Buy Christmas Tree Zürich": The Frau buys her Christmas tree at the Jumbo Hardware store because they start selling trees around Thanksgiving (end of November) and she doesn’t have the patience to wait until the week before Christmas when they sell them right below her building.

How to buy and get rid of your Swiss Christmas tree

Christmas tree transport success

Swiss blggers

Not sure why so many people spell bloggers without the “o” but thanks, Google, The Frau learns something every day. Is The Frau a Swiss blgger or an American blgger? Or is she stuck somewhere between both worlds? For more Swiss blgs, check out the links below.

Reader Appreciation Day

Yodeler Appreciation Day

Stay tuned for six more great keyword searches next week...

Doing Breaststroke in the Swiss Freestyle Lane, Oh my!

Lately, The Frau has been disturbing Swiss order in a big, fat unintentional American way.

First, if you’ll remember, she had the nerve to think that banana bread could be a substitute for Zopf at a Swiss daycare birthday party for her daughter.

Then, she ventured to do one length of breaststroke in the freestyle and backstroke lane at the pool in Zurich. How dare she think she could get away with that, yodelers!

Finally, after these two incidents within a week, when buying a couple of train tickets for her parents, she asked two different SBB clerks in Baden to double check that she could use a both a Mitfahrbillet and a Mitnahme GA together with her own GA (Swiss train pass).

SBB Rules: One conductor had
her own version of them.
Photo: Brian Opyd

Ja ja, was the reply, after much research and phone calling on the SBB ticket agent side—because who the heck would try to combine two SBB promotions other than a cheapskate American expat…

But nevertheless, three train connections into their Mitfahrbillet, Mitnahme GA, and GA journey, The Frau was told she broke the rules (how dare she use these two ticket combinations together!) by an SBB train conductor. The Frau argued her way out in crappy Deutsch, finally ending the 10-minute discussion with a, “Dass ist nicht mein Problem that in your eyes the rules are different than the SBB ticket agents in Baden.”

Go Frau!

“Well I'll let it go this time,” said the SBB train conductor (finally!), “but don’t go doing something like this ever again!”

(A classic example of Swiss customer service.)

All of these experiences made The Frau realize how she never, no matter how long she lives in Switzerland, quite fits in. No matter how hard she tries to follow Swiss rules, she always ends up interpreting them in an American way.

In other words, she always assumes more leniency, customer service, and friendliness than she receives. She can’t help it. And it doesn’t matter that her American husband plays the alphorn or that they both play Jass. After 7+ years in Switzerland, they still can’t seem to play by what’s most important: the rules.

10 ways to get the Swiss talking

Things like trying to meet people or talking to people you barely know are naturally awkward, but trust The Frau. You’ve never experienced a truly awkward gathering unless you've lived in Switzerland and been brave enough to work at a company that isn't multinational.

As most people know, the Swiss pretty much keep to themselves. As in they only talk to their family and their friends—specifically the friends they made in first grade. And this works for them. But it might not work especially well for you when you, the outsider, find yourself at a company happy hour feeling anything but happy.

The Frau has worked at several Swiss ad agencies over the last seven years. And if social events are bad at a Swiss ad agency, The Frau shudders to think of what they would be like at a Swiss bank. So what’s an expat to do? Below are ten strategies to get the Swiss talking to you, both in general life or at that dreaded “social” mixer. Note: Use at your own risk. You may just make a friend for life (or in some cases...an enemy).

One

The Swiss will talk to you. Just know the right topics.

Mention how many foreigners there are in Switzerland (specifically the number of Germans, when possible).

Two

Discuss things that seem non-existent or insignificant (such as crime or trash).

Three

Ask about that construction project the next street over (there is always a construction project the next street over and there is always someone who has memorized the construction schedule).

Four

Ask about vacation plans. The Swiss always have vacation plans. It’s easy for them to know where they are going next since it's most likely the exact same place they just went. 

Five

Put out your trash incorrectly (especially good if you want the whole community to talk. But not so good if you don’t want them to talk about you).

Six

Recycle during the lunch hour. Guaranteed lecture. Have fun.

Seven

Sit back, relax, and eat something while several “En Guetes” come your way.

Eight

Walk a dog.

Nine

Carry an alphorn. Better yet, play one.

Ten

Push a stroller.

Anyone else have tips for trying to speak with people from a culture who rarely even speak amongst themselves?

Foreigner or Expat in Switzerland?

Seven years ago yesterday, The Frau arrived in Switzerland.

Yipee. Should she feel different?

Oh no, yodelers, because here's the thing: no matter how long she lives her life in Switzerland, she'll always be a foreigner.

She wasn't always a foreigner. For her first five years in Switzerland, she was an expat. 

Is there a difference between an expat and a foreigner?

Ja, ja.

23% of the Swiss population is foreign.
And made to feel foreign.

An expat has an expiration date. An expat has defined plans to leave, usually with the same company that brought them there. An expat often lives in a bubble, putting their life on hold for that normal they think they’ll be able to return to—key word, think.

Because Switzerland has a lot going for it, many expats become foreigners in Switzerland.

A foreigner is someone who decides to stay—at least for awhile. They have local contracts with no expiration dates. They stop putting their lives on hold and instead live their lives to the fullest in the place they are now, rather than where the place they plan to be later.

By her definition, The Frau has become a foreigner.

Foreigners in Switzerland like The Frau often realize something else: No matter how good or bad their German is, no matter if they learn to play the alphorn or not—they will always be one thing in Switzerland: foreigners.

The Frau thinks a lot about this now that she has Baby M. Baby M is an American growing up in Switzerland. She says “Baden” with a Swiss accent. She answers when spoken to in Swiss German. And “nein” is her favorite Swiss German word.

But Baby M, if she continues grows up here, will also probably always be a foreigner. A very strange kind of Swiss German-speaking foreigner, but a foreigner by Swiss definition, nonetheless.

The Frau has come to realize that once a foreigner in Switzerland, always a foreigner—even if you are born here.

This is why almost 23% of the Swiss population is foreign. Behind Luxembourg, Switzerland has the highest percentage of foreigners in Europe—and for good reason—the time, expense, and process involved in becoming Swiss is some of the most stringent in the world.

The Frau doesn’t necessarily even want a Swiss passport—what she wants is the acceptance that doesn't seem possible here without it. Because after seven years in Switzerland, she’s found wondering, can a place ever be considered a home if one is always defined as a foreigner when living there?

What do you think?

Five Ways Switzerland Prepared The Frau for China

Nǐ haǒ. The Frau has returned from the Far East where she spent two weeks running around the People’s Republic of China. (For those who are wondering, no, Baby M did not add a sixth country to her life list, rather she had her own vacation zu Hause with her American Grandma while American Grandma went through her own version of Swiss culture shock in the process—very nice hiking trails, but too much cigarette smoke and pushy people was Grandma’s final verdict on Switzerland).

In many ways, Beijing is Zurich’s opposite (especially in pedestrian safety, air quality, and the price of public transportation—only 20 cents for a bus ride in Beijing). But in other ways, Switzerland couldn’t have prepared the Frau any better for China. Below are five ways you’ll feel at home in China if you’re living as a foreigner in Switzerland.

One: The language barrier won’t bother you.

What’s a little Mandarin when you’ve been trying to comprehend Swiss German? If you’re used to tuning out foreign languages and already feeling like a fish out of water, not understanding anything in China will be no big deal.

Two: You’ll be used to people having no concept of a line.

The Frau lost track of the number of Chinese people who cut in front of her when buying metro tickets or at security checkpoints. But this was no different than having Swiss people barging in front of her at the cheese counter or at a Swiss McDonald’s—even when she was pregnant, no less. Therefore, when being passed up in China, the Frau just sighed in recognition of something Americans call politeness and the rest of the world calls passiveness.

Three: When people push and shove on public transport, you’ll push right back.

Foreigners are often treated as walking ATMs in China

Beijing may have 20 million people and Zurich 390,000, but you wouldn’t know this based on the almost identical way their commuters both act. Luckily, Switzerland has trained the Frau to elbow and push like the best of the Chinese. But the Frau did notice that the Chinese readily give up their seats for old people and women with children, something she doesn’t witness the Swiss doing very often.

Four: You’ll have your cash ready.

Like in Switzerland, credit cards are not commonly accepted in China, so be prepared to carry cash—lots of it, since you’ll probably end up paying the “foreigner price.”

Five: You’ll be used to being treated as a foreigner.

Unlike in Switzerland, your appearance in China will probably scream foreigner before you even open your mouth. But in some ways this makes it easier because you don’t have to decide whether to give yourself away or not. The Frau proudly wore her camera around her neck since there was no disguising who she was.

How does living abroad affect how you travel to new countries?