Baby M's Identity Crisis

Inside Baby M's blue American passport, it says, "Place of Birth: Switzerland." So things here never shocked her like they did her poor mother, The Frau.

Baby M never had to figure out how to love a Cervelat. Or go through things like Migros Moments. Or smile and nod during a Swiss German conversation without understanding a word—even after years of High German lessons.

In fact, Baby M seemed as Swiss as any Swiss baby. Until she turned two years old and went to celebrate the holidays in the U.S. for a couple of weeks.

From one world back to another

Upon her return, Baby M seems to have registered something. Namely, that she lives in two different worlds.

Poor Baby M. She had a rough start to the New Year. When The Frau took her to Kinderkrippe (Swiss daycare) on Monday after being away from it for almost three weeks, her face registered total shock.

Swiss German shock.

At a time when she had been talking more than ever, she didn’t say a word all day long, according to the teachers. She just sat there and stared at everyone.

The next day was better. By the evening, Baby M was saying Grüezi wohl to random strangers in the elevator and singing during dinner. But Baby M’s initial shock made The Frau realize that raising a third culture kid might have many more challenges in store.

Do you or your kids have trouble adjusting after being away from Switzerland for several weeks?

Merry Christmas from One Big Yodel

Winter Wonderland in Disentis

Joyeux Noel

Fröhliche Weihnachten

Buone Feste Natalizie

Legreivlas fiastas da Nadal e bien niev onn

A very Swiss Christmas to fellow yodelers in Switzerland and everywhere.

Love,

The Frau 

How do you learn German in Switzerland?

Welcome to another edition of Dear Frau. It’s kind of like Dear Abby, except with an international twist. If you have a question, don’t hesitate to contact The Frau. She doesn’t have all the answers, but sometimes she likes to pretend otherwise.

Dear Frau,

Thank you so much for your blog. I am moving to Switzerland soon and aspire for my blog about my Swiss experience to be half as good as yours. I am hoping you can discuss and recommend options for learning German in advance of my arrival. I am setting up a private tutor, but thought you may have come across good books (like, Hoi! Your Swiss German Guide :)) or programs (i.e Pimsleur) to suggest as well. I unfortunately took French in high school and college.

Thank you,

Preparing to Sprechen Sie Deutsch

Dear Preparing to Sprechen Sie Deutsch,

The Frau would like to unlock the secrets to Swiss German right here and now on this blog, but alas, the language itself is a secret (much like Swiss bank accounts used to be), and she doesn’t have a key. So until the big bad U.S. government decides Swiss German should be as accessible to them as Swiss savings accounts, The Frau has turned to the only member of her family who understands the language:

The Frau: Baby M, is there a secret to learning Swiss German?

Baby M: Nein nein nein! (Her current and favorite German word)

So there you have it.

The Frau does not like to be discouraging. She does have one American friend and one British friend who learned to speak Swiss German (don’t ask her in what dialect!) and she has several friends who can understand Swiss German because they have been here a long time and also because they spoke fluent German before they moved here.

Learning German in Switzerland can be challenging

But for the rest of us French-in-high-school types, especially for those of us with no close Swiss relations to practice with, the process of learning High German and then understanding Swiss German will be long. One must accept that any form of German will take a long time to learn in Switzerland.

The thing is, you must learn two languages to function in the German-speaking part of Switzerland. First, you must learn High German. And learning High German could take years—even if you were living in Germany. But since you’re not living in Germany, it could take decades. Why? Because in Switzerland, you will not hear the High German language on a daily basis. And when you speak High German to a Swiss, you will often be spoken back to in English because the Swiss hate High German. Learning High German was so pointless to the Romands (Native Swiss French speakers) that many of them now teach Swiss German to schoolchildren instead of High German. How they do that, exactly, The Frau would love to know.

Where does this leave the over-achieving expat? If you’re like The Frau, it leaves you sad and depressed and wishing you could move to the French section, n’est pas?

But instead of going into depression when you’re feeling like a language loser, go to Germany or Austria instead. Then you’ll realize that you are learning German. One day, very far in the future, without realizing it, you too will understand a couple of Swiss German words. Then a few more. Eventually, maybe, like The Frau, after seven long years, you’ll get up to about 30% Swiss German comprehension.

Why is understanding Swiss German so hard? The fact that its dialect changes every ten miles? The fact that it’s only spoken and not written? The fact that Swiss people are very private and do not typically engage in casual discussion with strangers? The fact that a third of Swiss people speak English? The fact that even Swiss German speakers can’t always even understand each other?

Ja. Ja. Ja. Ja. And ja.

And then, think about this: Most native High German speakers claim it takes them about three months of living in Switzerland for them to be able to understand Swiss German. So…here are some tools to help you on your long German journey:

The Frau’s Quick Review of High/Swiss German learning materials/classes:

Berlitz: The Frau has no experience with Berlitz, but several of her friends have recommended it for beginners because it helps you learn useful phrases instead of being too academic.

Intensive German: The Frau has taken two separate intensive German classes in Switzerland. Her verdict? They are too intensive to take in everything that fast. Often leads to frustration.

Not-so intensive German: Taking a class 2-3 times a week for 1.5 hours at a time gives you time to take things in and practice them without being overwhelmed. The Frau did this pace for a couple years when she first moved to Switzerland and it was perfect.

Television: Watch German shows with basic getting-to-know-you conversations like Bauer Sucht Frau. Once you understand that well, you can graduate to the Swiss German version, which is called Bauer, Ledig, Sucht. Movies are good too—if you can get over the dubbed voices—especially good are movies you know really well in your own language. The Big Lebowski, for instance, is hilarious in German. Ich bin der Dude, anyone?

Language buddy: One of the best things to do is to find someone who speaks High German or Swiss German and who also wants to learn your native language. Then you can meet for an hour and speak each language for half the time.

Hoi: The Frau has this book but The Frau does not find this book too helpful. Why? It’s impossible to figure out how to pronounce things from it. And if you don’t know how the words and phrases in it sound, you will get nowhere. Why? Because Swiss German is a spoken language! Why this book does not come with the CD is beyond The Frau.

Pimsleur: The Frau has Swiss German Pimsleur. She likes it ok. It definitely helps to hear the language. But she thinks it is best used after learning some High German first so one has a basis for what and why they are saying what they are saying.

Anyone else want to chime in on how to best learn German/Swiss German?

A Language Lesson Gone to the Dogs

Baby M is learning to talk in an unofficial Swiss language called English. This is not without consequences. Because when Baby M says one thing, the Swiss think she means another. So far these misunderstandings have been rather tame, but The Frau is eagerly awaiting the day one of Baby M’s English words offends the local German sensibilities because it will make for a good blog post. 

Baby M has moved past her dog stage (crawling on all fours, eating off the floor, putting balls in her mouth, following The Frau from room to room) and now is in the “I love dogs stage,” possibly because she no longer acts like one. Last week on a walk around Baden, Baby M pointed and proudly shouted “da” to every dog we passed.

One Swiss man who was walking his dog actually stopped to talk to us when Baby M pointed and shouted “da” at his dog. We conversed in German:

“Does she like dogs?” He asked.

“Yes, dog is one of her new words,” The Frau replied.

He turned to Baby M. “What’s that?” He pointed at his dog.

“Da!” Baby M yelled, in a big, fat American voice.

The man shook his head at her mistake. “Yes, there is a dog there,” he told her.

In German, “da” means “there.” So the Swiss think Baby M is going around shouting “there.” It could be worse.

Five Ways Switzerland Prepared The Frau for China

Nǐ haǒ. The Frau has returned from the Far East where she spent two weeks running around the People’s Republic of China. (For those who are wondering, no, Baby M did not add a sixth country to her life list, rather she had her own vacation zu Hause with her American Grandma while American Grandma went through her own version of Swiss culture shock in the process—very nice hiking trails, but too much cigarette smoke and pushy people was Grandma’s final verdict on Switzerland).

In many ways, Beijing is Zurich’s opposite (especially in pedestrian safety, air quality, and the price of public transportation—only 20 cents for a bus ride in Beijing). But in other ways, Switzerland couldn’t have prepared the Frau any better for China. Below are five ways you’ll feel at home in China if you’re living as a foreigner in Switzerland.

One: The language barrier won’t bother you.

What’s a little Mandarin when you’ve been trying to comprehend Swiss German? If you’re used to tuning out foreign languages and already feeling like a fish out of water, not understanding anything in China will be no big deal.

Two: You’ll be used to people having no concept of a line.

The Frau lost track of the number of Chinese people who cut in front of her when buying metro tickets or at security checkpoints. But this was no different than having Swiss people barging in front of her at the cheese counter or at a Swiss McDonald’s—even when she was pregnant, no less. Therefore, when being passed up in China, the Frau just sighed in recognition of something Americans call politeness and the rest of the world calls passiveness.

Three: When people push and shove on public transport, you’ll push right back.

Foreigners are often treated as walking ATMs in China

Beijing may have 20 million people and Zurich 390,000, but you wouldn’t know this based on the almost identical way their commuters both act. Luckily, Switzerland has trained the Frau to elbow and push like the best of the Chinese. But the Frau did notice that the Chinese readily give up their seats for old people and women with children, something she doesn’t witness the Swiss doing very often.

Four: You’ll have your cash ready.

Like in Switzerland, credit cards are not commonly accepted in China, so be prepared to carry cash—lots of it, since you’ll probably end up paying the “foreigner price.”

Five: You’ll be used to being treated as a foreigner.

Unlike in Switzerland, your appearance in China will probably scream foreigner before you even open your mouth. But in some ways this makes it easier because you don’t have to decide whether to give yourself away or not. The Frau proudly wore her camera around her neck since there was no disguising who she was.

How does living abroad affect how you travel to new countries?