Thursday, November 28, 2013

A Swiss Expat Thanksgiving


This Thanksgiving holiday, The Frau would like to wish every yodeler much good health. And to do this, she would like to take you with her to the office. We expats do have to work on Thanksgiving, after all.

Open on a Swiss open-plan office on Thanksgiving Day. Employees are sitting across from each other. If it weren’t for their computers where they can read the news, they would simply stare at each other blankly all day long. People are speaking various dialects of Swiss German. Keyboards are clicking. Phones are ringing. But then The Frau sneezes and all work stops.

WORKER 1: Gesundheit.

WORKER 2: Gesundheit.

THE FRAU: Danke.

WORKER 3: Gesundheit.

THE FRAU: Merci.

WORKER 1 starts typing again. WORKER 2 continues his phone call. Things are getting back to normal. But just when The Frau thinks she can get back to work...

WORKER 4/STRAGGLER 1: Gesundheit.

THE FRAU: Thanks. Danke. Gleichfalls.

Everyone gets back to work for 4 minutes and 38 seconds (approximately). Then…

WORKER 5: Sneeze.

Repeat entire dialogue, bitte.

The Boss walks over.

THE BOSS: Did everyone remember to do their timesheets?

EVERYONE: Nein. There is no job number for sneezing. What should we do?

The boss leaves to check about job number for sneezing. Then it happens. The Frau feels another sneeze coming on. She can’t bear it. So she runs to the bathroom so she can sneeze scene-less, but on the way there, someone wishes her En Guete. Of course. It is almost turkey time, mitenand. So stop typing and start sending your En Guetes irgendwo before you leave the office to get a Rivella and an overpriced sandwich. Happy Expat Thanksgiving.

21 comments:

Dominik said...

That's why I only sneeze in private here. Why does everyone feel like they have to say "Gesundheit" each time someone sneezes? It's annoying and most certainly won't make me more healthy. Just cut the crap :-)

Chantal said...

The Frau is glad she is not alone in her sneezing scene!

Keith said...

I don't find "Gesundheit" annoying. In the UK we say "Bless you", in France "A tes souhaits", in French speaking Switzerland "Santé"...In the USA do you not say anything when someone in the vicinity sneezes?

Hattie said...

When I lived in Wisconsin, people said "Gesundheit" quite often.
And Happy Thanksgiving allerseits!

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