Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Dear Frau: I’m moving to Switzerland and I have questions

Welcome to another edition of Dear Frau. It's kind of like Dear Abby, but with an international twist. If you have questions about life in Switzerland, don't hesitate to contact the Frau and maybe your little Frage will be in the next edition of Dear Frau.

Dear Frau,

I loved reading your columns. I’m gravitated by your love and positivity of Switzerland and not trying to hold onto all US things and attitude, especially while living there. The majority I have spoken with advised me to take 50+ boxes of Mac & Cheese. My family doesn’t eat that stuff and in the land of cheeses, why not boil some pasta and make a sauce with some local cheese.

I’m an anxious person and I’ve been trying to do as much research as time allows, but I’m going in circles trying to prepare for our move (sell off stuff electronics and stuff won’t use upon our return, decide what to put in long term storage, and what new items to buy all the while trying to prep our house to put on the market) and make decisions around what to send over. Some expats I have spoken with gave me advice about all the US things we can’t get in Switzerland or that may be much more expensive, especially things our kids may need or want. Maybe telling you about myself and my desire would be helpful. 

Moving boxes in The Frau's Swiss apartment
My life can be summed up as a Midwestern mom of two small children desiring a minimalist lifestyle so the family can slow down and enjoy traveling the world. Right now I am living in an oversized home, collecting too many things (I could be a borderline hoarder similar to a mom in the Depression Era because I went from making a great living to becoming a stay at home mom and feel like I have to save money, reduce, reuse and recycle. Also, I’ve never liked being wasteful.), driving a minivan, cleaning all day but have nothing to show for it, and feeling like I have no time for anything. I always thought I would travel the world and be free of material burden and not live like the “Joneses”, pun intended. I want to start fresh and have a real Swiss experience, as I would love to become fluent in French and live like Europeans. 

We’ll be living in a small town between Geneva and Lausanne. From what I gather, it’s the country even though I consider vineyards and a view of Lac Leman and the alps as luxury. We will be living in a smaller modern home, which is completely different from our US style so most of our current furniture won’t fit or work well. Although I desire to become a minimalist, the planner in me wants to have a surplus of items on hand to make my family’s life smoother and calm my fear of not being able to get it until we return to the US for holidays or may have to pay an arm and a leg to ship.

So...that was my novel. Here are my questions:

We will have a 40 ft. container to send our belongings from the US to Switzerland at no cost. What would you send over vs. buying there?

The Frau also was able to send a 40 ft. container from the US to Switzerland at no cost. She sent everything she couldn’t or didn’t want to sell in the US. Because here’s the reality, Yodelers, as The Frau learned—when three years in Switzerland turned into 8.5—you never know where you’re going to go next. Paying to store things when you can ship them for free makes no sense. Were there boxes The Frau shipped that never got opened in 8.5 years? Sadly yes. Are there boxes in her big, fat American basement now that haven’t been opened since she moved “home” 1.5 years ago? Yes. Fact of life and of moving.

What are your recommendations on how to adjust quickly after settling in? I keep 
hearing the ‘wives’ get depressed and miss family once the boxes are unpacked.

Keep busy. Busy is an American thing after all! But The Frau doesn’t mean busy as in busy work, but busy in having a purpose. This could mean anything from finding a job to starting a blog that will document every fountain in the city of Zurich. It could also mean taking a language class or joining a club. Anything to keep you from sitting at home wondering what the heck you just did with your life! 

How do families save money when everything is expensive?

Ok. Here’s the great Switzerland myth, and one that The Frau has written about for the Wall Street Journal if you want more info. Yes, Switzerland is expensive. But the salaries are also some of the highest in the world. The Swiss have enormous purchasing power both at home and abroad. Everyone should be so lucky.

Look. This is a cliché every Swiss brand wants you to believe—but in general, you do get what you pay for. Swiss trains are expensive, for example, but they also provide timely, efficient service and crisscross the entire country, which is more than any American train service can claim. The extra few francs are well worth it and won’t affect those making Swiss salaries.

Some things in Switzerland are amazing values—these include public swimming pools, ice rinks, nature playgroups for toddlers, Swiss produce (try to find a tomato that actually tastes like a tomato in the U.S.—you can’t find this at any price in a grocery store).

Most people who move to Switzerland are surprised at how much money they end up saving.

Tips on grocery shopping and cooking? I realize food prices are high and the kitchen
appliances are smaller. The refrigerator in our new house is almost the size of a 
college dorm fridge. 

As an American in Switzerland, you have to change how you shop. Grocery shopping is an almost daily event in Switzerland. This is for many reasons—small refrigerators, lack of basements, ability to carry things if you don’t own a car, fresh breads, and the ripeness of produce, which is sold ready to eat and without the preservatives found in American foods. Buy some Swiss strawberries and you’ll be lucky if they last a day before molding.

How did you work around not having the conveniences we have in the states? i.e., 24 
hour grocery and pharmacy, large washer and dryer, giant fridge and deep freeze, 
drive-thru, lots of storage space, etc…

It takes awhile, but you learn to adapt to the new way of life. You have to plan a bit more to make sure, for instance, you have food for Sunday, but you get used to it and then you realize how pointless it is to make retail workers work all night. There’s just no reason for it.

Sharing a washing machine and dryer can be a pain, but you also learn how to deal with that. The Frau never was able to clean the lint from the dryer properly, according to her Swiss neighbor, but that’s just something else she learned to accept.

What type of vehicle(s) do you recommend to accommodate a family of four that’s safe 
and has good resale in 3-5 years? I keep hearing smaller is better. My kids will be 4 
and 2 yrs. when we get there so we still need car seats and a stroller.

The Frau has no idea. Her idea of a good vehicle is no vehicle. The Swiss life allows one to live without a car so that’s what she did. However, she would recommend buying one second-hand from another expat who is leaving the country asap and desperate to sell it. That's probably the best way to get a good deal. Maybe some others can comment on this below?

Are European car seats slim to accommodate smaller vehicles? Is it better to take over US car seats? 

In general, European cars are smaller. US and European car seats have different regulations so they have different models. These are also good things to buy second hand from other expats.

Are European strollers sleeker? If so, where can I purchase one?

The Frau had two strollers. One small, cheap $20 collapsible one from the U.S. for city trips, and one heavy-duty mountain stroller (she bought a TFK model from Germany). She recommends buying strollers in the U.S. or in Germany. Swiss mountain strollers can cost upwards of CHF 2000. Not a joke. The used market for Swiss strollers is insane as well. People want CHF 250-500 for their USED stroller.

How did your family survive the summer heat without air conditioning?

We bought fans and we sweated. Again, you get used to it. It was an excuse to jump into the lake during lunchtime at the office. Everyone from The Frau’s office was at the lake. It was fun. Of course, the heat was less fun when The Frau was pregnant, but now she hates American air conditioning for its wastefulness. Wearing a sweater in the summer is ridiculous too. The Frau learned to live with weather, something Americans don’t do. For example, Swiss children never don’t go out to play—if it’s raining, you dress them in complete rubber outfits. And they play. Outside. Weather is not an excuse not to go out in Switzerland.

I may be interested in working part-time. What’s the best way to find a professional but 
flexible position?

Finding a job is about making connections--no matter where in the world you are looking for one. It’s about who you know, even if at first glance it appears you know no one. Get on LinkedIn and see who you know who knows someone. Ask at your current office if they can connect you to someone in Switzerland—The Frau’s did by sending her resume to NYC and then NYC sent it to someone in Zurich. And that’s how The Frau eventually found her job. Submitting blindly is not the answer. 

And make sure your resume is prepared for Switzerland—which means things like including a photo and your birthdate and nationality at the top. Almost all jobs in Switzerland—from top management to law to engineering can be negotiated for part-time work. It’s one of the best things about working in Switzerland—often you can work as much or as little as you would like but still keep up your career.

I would like our family to travel on weekends within Switzerland and to nearby countries but don’t know where to start. Any advice on where to go and what to see?

Start with the next town over and go from there--that's what The Frau used to do when she had her GA (Swiss Train Pass). Also: The Frau is currently working on a Swiss insider travel guide that will be out (hopefully) next year. But until then, yes, cross big things off your bucket list. The Matterhorn. The Aletsch Glacier. Hike from Preda to Bergün. But also go to the little villages. Find the organic farm store in the middle of nowhere. Sometimes the best travel experiences are the unexpected ones.

Any other advice?

Read this blog. Read other blogs. Read books about Switzerland. Connect with groups on Facebook. The more you know about a place, the easier (and sometimes admitedly harder) it becomes. Enjoy your time as an expat. Accept the Swiss for who they are. You won’t change them—but, as The Frau discovered and wrote about in her book on Switzerland, the Swiss just might change you.

Can you help our Midwestern friend with her questions or do you have a different opinion than The Frau on something? Leave a comment. Vielen Dank, mitenand.


Kempeth said...

Some comments on car and summer heat:

I recommend you talk with other expats in that area if possible. Depending on the size of your town a car might be a good idea. While public transport is generally very good and in the area you've specified you should definitely be able to get by for most day to day need without a car. That said, in more rural areas connections can be a bit less frequent and being able to take the car to the next big city for more serious shopping might be very useful.

As for the summer heat. If as you said you'll be living in a more modern home then chances are good that it has pretty good insulation. That together with opening windows at night to cool down and closing the shutters during the day to keep the heat out can often help significantly. And as said by the Frau fans can help with the rest. But there's still probably going to be some sweating...

Jacinda said...

Re: Car

It's definitely worth mentioning that children under 6 years of age travel for free on public transit as long as they are with a valid ticket holder (and are half-price from 6-16), so you may actually save money on gas and maintenance by not having a car and be able to just rent or borrow one if you ever do need it. Plus, the kids (and everyone!) can get up and move around on the train (not to mention use the restroom as needed instead of having to find one) so it's far more pleasant than being stuck in a car for hours.

SBB children's ticket info: Some of the longer routes even have a designated family car that includes a playground on the train itself (

My husband and I don't have children yet, but have commented on how much more often we actually see children here (we're living in downtown Zürich) versus in the US, even though the birthrates aren't that different. As the Frau mentioned, Swiss children seem to be outside all the time, using any of the abundance of clean, safe, well-maintained playgrounds. Speaking of playgrounds, when you make it to Bern, take your kids up to the Gurten park ( Within the last year, they finished a number of additions to the children's areas and I was definitely jealous of the kids.

Kelli Shoe said...

Kansas girl here. Lived 5 years in Zurich, now in Singapore. Couple things to add. We are childless and lived without a car for the first 2 years. Once we got one, it was only used on the weekends, but we loved having it. It was great for guests, great for last minute trips and wonderful for not having to lug our groceries onto a bus and then the train and then the bus. Yes, it is still sitting in Zurich for sale, but we did love it.

And the thing that scares us all...the prices will make your jaw drop for awhile. You might even avoid meeting new people out for coffee because it costs 10chf. Don't use it as an excuse to not get out and meet people. Join the American Women's Club, go to coffee, hang out at cafes - consider it all an investment.

Finally, don't try to hide your American. It is hard to fit in with the Swiss. That's ok. Take what you like from both cultures and be yourself. If you don't wear stilettos to Migros, that's cool. Or do. Whatever makes you, you.

Kimberly said...

Seconding the thoughts on no car - we lived in Zurich for 9 years without a car. We simply joined Mobility for the SBB special combined rate of like 25 CHf and reserved it when we needed it - about a handful of times each year. My biggest recommendation, though, is to put your kids into the local school system. It will probably be harder for you, as you do meet more parents in the expat schools, but they will integrate and learn the language sooooo fast! The heat in the summer is only a problem once in a blue moon. On those days - live at the lake or the local pool. Mostly - enjoy it!

Julie said...

If you haven't already, you should join the Facebook groups for English speaking moms in your region. I think there are several for Lausanne area moms. This will give you opportunities to meet other expat moms and some local moms, find information about activities in which you and your kids can participate, and you can find second hand items for sale here.

Enjoy your new adventure. oh, how I miss that life!

Chantal said...

Thank you, Yodelers, for your helpful comments! The Frau should have mentioned Mobility, it was great to be able to borrow a car for big shopping trips. If you get a Swiss train pass, you get a Mobility discount.

Dilly said...

The lack of 24hr shopping (and especially lack of Sunday shopping) takes a bit of getting used to (we moved from London) but as Chantal said make sure you plan ahead on a Saturday! A lot of restaurants will shut on Sundays too. However even in medium towns you should be able to find a corner shop that is open on a Sunday for emergencies, and there are 7 day a week Migros supermarkets at Lausanne-Ouchy, Geneva-Cornavin and Geneva-airport. We actually now rather like not being able to do shopping (and housework etc) on a Sunday as it means spending time as a family.

General food shopping isn't as expensive as you might expect, and as Chantal said, quality is generally excellent (once you've started eating locally and seasonally produced food it will be a a bit of a revelation). Fresh produce can also be bought at markets (most communes have at least one a week). There are also discount/bulk stores such as Lidl, Aldi and Aligro, plus we are very close to France (rather than Germany) for cross-border shopping in Annemasse, Annecy or even Lyon - for both general shopping and things like pushchairs and car seats. However, Swiss doesn't always mean expensive - we bought a display model multi-purpose town-suitable pram/carseat/pushchair new for 300chf. We also found that swankier/sturdier new ones are actually the equivalent price for UK and France. Also European Amazon websites will deliver many things to Switzerland, and those that they don't can often be delivered via poste restante (with a small fee) at a post office over the border in France.

If you're living in a house rather than a flat, sharing a washing machine/dryer won't be an issue, but if you're in a flat with a shared laundry (buanderie) I would recommend checking with your Régie (landlord agency) and getting one installed in your flat.

Summer heat isn't normally a problem, but last year we had a 2 month heatwave which was pretty unpleasant without aircon (temperatures here in Geneva were hovering around 40˚C for several weeks and the flat didn't drop below 29˚C), but this is not usual. I would recommend buying a few electric fans at least when you arrive (they all sold out for months last year!), regulating the temperature in the house with shutters during the day and open windows at night, and if it gets really hot head down to the lake (or up to the mountains). In fact in the summer spend as much time at the lake as you can, it's wonderful (you can find a list of all the beaches at

As for weekend travelling, I totally agree with Chantal to start local and work your way out. So many places here are gorgeous and travel between them is simple to do with public transport (you can work out itineraries for trains and buses via the CFF/SBB website, and you can get cheaper unlimited day travel passes via your commune (e.g, or just google "carte journaliere CFF [commune name]" if you're not in Nyon).

Hope some of that is helpful!

Dilly said...

This was only half my post! Not sure what happened to the first half :( Will try and remember a bit of what I wrote and post again later.

Anonymous said...

Just to add to a growing list saying this, try to go without a car at first! Daily train passes mean mistakes at least don't cost anything, kids are much more easily occupied (some long-distance trains have slides!), and I find it generally much more relaxing.

Also, this is centered on Zurich, but here's a nice blog that might help you get started going outside

And lastly, look for the "American Women's Club" or equivalent if you are feeling alone when you arrive. We have only been for language classes and Christmas events, but they are in many cities and can help you start out.

Good luck!

Ocarina said...

We're in central Geneva with a 3 year old, and although there's no way we'd use the car during the week (you'd be crazy not to walk/bike/catch public transport) we do use it often at the weekend for exploring France/Switzerland. There are so many amazing places within 1-2 hours drive, and although you can do it all on public transport, with small kids it can just be easier not to.

On car seats - we brought our Australian one, but it was actually quite wide and our car is pretty compact inside, so we bought a Swiss one, which was of course smaller. Likewise although it might be handy to bring your current pram/stroller, you may end up buying a smaller one here. Most building elevators, for instance, are tiny and you might find your stroller doesn't fit. (Our Australian one doesn't, although at the time we bought the smallest one we could find!)

I second the above commenter who mentioned buying a fan or two well before summer. The shops truly did run out and did not restock.

A couple of blogs and websites you might find interesting and useful: - perfect when you're trying to work out what to do with the kids on a rainy Sunday etc - Lausanne is somehow much cooler than Geneva - listings for Geneva (and region, I think) - useful classifieds and some meetups - there are lots of meetups for mothers at home with kids (if this is what you'll be)

Also, if you're into thrifting, the big thrift stores in Geneva are crazy.

Good luck and enjoy!

Hoist Crane said...

thanks for the head's up :D
By reading all the advice here, now I think I'm ready to travel to Switzerland :D

Matilda said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Matilda said...

I recommend the Facebook group "Lausanne(Vaud Geneva) Ladies meet up" for meeting people

Angie said...

It is possible to buy a Junior Card for the the Swiss trains, this costs just 30 CHF per year and children between 6 and 16 then travel fro free when accompanied by a parent.

Charlotte said...

Even though Zürich is in the title of this blog, it's about places to hike and go with children throughout Switzerland.

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Dear Frau,

Found this post on Mom in Zurich's FB page

I am Swiss, so it's alway interesting how expats perceive living here.

I agree with everything but the negotiating positions to part-time. Don't be fooled by my blog name (part-time working mom), I know that I am one of the very lucky ones, but Switzerland is NOT big on part-time jobs.

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