Toddler German Class in America

Toddler M is taking German class once a week, as of last Friday. The Frau is not sure if it will be effective or not (is three hours once a week enough to learn a language?), but she had to at least try one session for the sake of her daughter, since she knows first-hand how painful it is to try to learn a language when you’re old.

Toddler M’s summer German class is held in a park near a beautiful brick building with a clock tower. If the setting didn’t come complete with parking spaces the size of some small European countries, it could almost pass as Swiss.

Anyway, The Frau sat in on the first 20 minutes of the class because Toddler M didn’t want her to leave. While the teacher spoke German most of the time, she would still switch to English to discipline or tell the children to be quiet when someone else was speaking.

The Frau found all of this English unnecessary, but maybe this is because she is used to the real-deal-throw-your-daughter-into-a-Swiss-German-world-at-six-months-old-and wish-her-the-best-while-you-go-to-work method. And she has to say, this method works.

Because after class, the teacher reported that Toddler M knew a lot of German already and had a lot of potential. It was good to hear that her first three years in Switzerland had some impact and also that the YouTube videos in German that The Frau makes her watch are most likely helping too.

But in general, The Frau still wonders: How does an average American child learn a foreign language? The answer: They don’t.

American culture still seems to believe that learning a second language is either for poor immigrants in an ESL program or a luxurious pastime for rich kids. Language learning is not a serious undertaking supported by American tax dollars nor are there many programs for complete immersion even if you are willing to spend half your salary on them. It’s too bad because The Frau believes a second language for all Americans could be the key to a better understanding of the world for our citizens.

Not to mention, language learning is fun, at least if you ask Toddler M. After the class she said in a very happy English, “Mommy, I really love German!”

So needless to say, it was all worth it.

German for puzzle nerds

Hello fellow yodelers and Alex Trebek types. Welcome to The Frau’s German Puzzle Day for Nerds. It’s a language lesson and game all in one. See! German is fun again. Take these words below apart to figure out their meaning and you'll have fun. Because not having fun is not optional! Once you enjoy these words, maybe a language that uses verbs as afterthoughts will no longer render you mute.

Learning German: Puzzles make perfect

Dudelsack

Any guesses for this one? Let The Frau help. Think doodle. Think sack. Think doodle in a sack. Now take your doodling sack to Scotland and play it in a skirt because Dudelsack means bagpipe.

Osterglocke

Oster is for Easter. Glocke is for bell. Easter bell? Almost. An Osterglocke is something that resembles a bell and blooms around Easter: a daffodil.

Handschuhe

Another puzzler for you Alex Trebekers. Take a Schuhe and put it on your Hand. What are you wearing now (besides your Dudelsack)? Gloves!

Rathaus

There’s a rat in my house! There's a rat in my house! It’s obviously a politician. Because a Rathaus is the place where the government works. It’s the town hall.

Notfahrt

Not. Fahrt. Wow, it really must be an emergency if you canNot Fahrt.

Stinksauer

Give me a Stink. Give me a Sauer. What do we have? Someone very pissed off (or hopping mad, for you Brits). Now say it in a sentence everyone: Ich bin Stinksauer that The Frau had the nerve to make a Fahrt joke on her blog. How vulgar! How cliché! That’s why we have Stinksauer, yodelers! When no English word can describe your anger, you know what language to turn to.

Donaudampfschiffahrtsgesellschaftskapitän

The Frau can't explain it, but maybe you can! For those who want Extra Spass, please put your explanation of this word in the comments below. Winners will receive a big fat Danke Vielmal. Creativity is encouraged and possibly rewarded.

Want a C Permit? Take that test.

After five years living in Switzerland on a B permit, most Americans and Canadians can apply for a C permit, which has certain benefits like 1) it’s good for an entire five years instead of just one and 2) it makes it easier to get a job and freelance like a normal person.

But here’s the catch: you must prove you have made an effort to integrate in order to receive the C permit. Never mind if you speak fluent Deutsch at the Migration Office, as we learned before, they are not paying attention to your Deutsch. They are looking at...um. Yeah.

So it doesn’t matter if you’re fluent, it matters if you have a piece of paper. After all, we are in Switzerland, people. Logic isn’t important. Paper is. The more expensive the paper, the better.

That’s why I’m going to spend over CHF 300 to take the Goethe Zertifikat B2 test. Because one of my German-speaking American friends was just refused a C permit despite logic. A fluent German speaker who had lived here for five years on a B permit, she must now wait another two years to apply for her C permit because she was ohne test certification when she filled out the paperwork.

Moral of the story: If you’ve been taking a German class (or are just naturally good at German) and have reached at least the A2 level, take the appropriate test in case you overstay your expected Swiss residency and want that C permit, after all. The next Geothe tests are in August/September and you must register for them by July 15. At minimum, you must pass the A2 test or higher to prove proficiency as far as the permit is concerned. Real life is another story.

Note: For a C permit, you must prove language proficiency of the language spoken in your canton. If you live in Zurich and have French certification, that’s great, but it doesn’t matter on your permit application. C'est la vie.

The 10 Steps of Learning German in Switzerland

There is a clear progression of how English-speaking foreigners deal with learning German in Switzerland. It goes kind of like this:

1. Grüezi. Sprechen Sie Englisch?

2. I'm so excited to learn a new language!

3. I'll be fluent in no time!

4. Hallo, Schweiz! Der, Die, Das, ich kenne etwas!

5. Was? There is also a Den, Dem, Denen, and Des? Echt?

6. Now I'm too scared to talk. I'll get it all wrong.

7. Fine I'll talk. I'll just turn every der, die, das, den, dem, denen, and des into a "duh".

8. I can talk now! I'll go to the flea market and show off! Was kostet das? Was? What is this "foyf" you're saying? I know my numbers, dang it!

9. Crap. I took three years of German and still understand nothing on the streets in Switzerland.

10. Grüezi. Sprechen Sie Englisch?

My New German Lessons

After taking German classes for two years straight, I decided I really needed a break from the academic part and am trying a new approach to learning. I’ve got most of the basics down, and at this point I really just need to get braver and talk more. This is hard for a perfectionist like myself, but I am trying to get over it. My goals are to be able to do basic things at work in German. So for example, to be able to say amazingly intelligent things like, “we can delete that,” (Man kann das löschen) or “Monica is looking for you” (Monica sucht dich) or “how was the presentation?” (Wie war die Präsentation?). Anyhow, I try to learn one little phrase every day (Ich lerne jeden Tag ein bisschen). Since my colleague is going on vacation in the USA for three weeks after today, my phrase for today is “Ich beneide dich” (I envy you.)