12 Interesting Keywords Yodelers Use to End Up Here, Part 2

The Frau isn’t really into analytics but that doesn’t mean she can’t enjoy the Google version. Especially when it tells her how people like you end up here. In this second of two installments, The Frau will explore six additional keywords yodelers are using to arrive at One Big Yodel, along with a short commentary and links to other blog posts on that oh, so popular topic.

Hairdresser wages in Switzerland

The Frau did an unscientific Swiss salary survey not too long ago. Hairdressers do not rank high on the survey and The Frau has been wondering about this ever since. After all, a regular haircut can cost about CHF 100 for a woman and CHF 50 for a man with hardly any hair...  Find out more about salaries in Switzerland here:

Salaries in Switzerland

Healthcare in Switzerland vs. United States

Yes, The Frau often compares things between the U.S. and Switzerland, so click below, fellow yodelers with inquiring minds on the topic.

Dear Frau: Compare U.S. and Swiss Health Insurance

C-permit Switzerland benefits

Oh, that ever-defining C-permit.. The Frau loves hers because a C-permit in Switzerland means you’re a permanent resident and gives you most everything you probably wanted including permission to work, change jobs, and avoid having to fill out paperwork every single year just to continue to live here. But she went through quite a lot to get hers:

Swiss C-permit reject

My application for a Swiss C-permit

Want a C-permit? Take that test.

Why do Swiss live so long

Here’s a short answer: because they have an amazing public transportation system. This means less people are driving and more are walking. The Swiss certainly do not have long lives based on their eating habits. Cheese, 23 pounds of chocolate a year, and sausage do not a long lifespan make. But walking to the bus stop does.

Live Longer, Be More Swiss This Year

Are the Swiss rude

Oh…would The Frau talk about such a thing on her blog? Apparently yes, according to Google. But here’s the thing. The Swiss aren’t really rude. They just have different ideas about politeness in comparison to English speakers. Because things English speakers consider rude, like cutting in line at the ski lift, the Swiss consider assertive.

Why are the Swiss so pushy?

Better to live in Zurich or London

Zurich gets more rain than London. But it also has nicer air to breathe. Decisions, decisions. 

Dear Frau: Should I Move to Zurich?

Want a C Permit? Take that test.

After five years living in Switzerland on a B permit, most Americans and Canadians can apply for a C permit, which has certain benefits like 1) it’s good for an entire five years instead of just one and 2) it makes it easier to get a job and freelance like a normal person.

But here’s the catch: you must prove you have made an effort to integrate in order to receive the C permit. Never mind if you speak fluent Deutsch at the Migration Office, as we learned before, they are not paying attention to your Deutsch. They are looking at...um. Yeah.

So it doesn’t matter if you’re fluent, it matters if you have a piece of paper. After all, we are in Switzerland, people. Logic isn’t important. Paper is. The more expensive the paper, the better.

That’s why I’m going to spend over CHF 300 to take the Goethe Zertifikat B2 test. Because one of my German-speaking American friends was just refused a C permit despite logic. A fluent German speaker who had lived here for five years on a B permit, she must now wait another two years to apply for her C permit because she was ohne test certification when she filled out the paperwork.

Moral of the story: If you’ve been taking a German class (or are just naturally good at German) and have reached at least the A2 level, take the appropriate test in case you overstay your expected Swiss residency and want that C permit, after all. The next Geothe tests are in August/September and you must register for them by July 15. At minimum, you must pass the A2 test or higher to prove proficiency as far as the permit is concerned. Real life is another story.

Note: For a C permit, you must prove language proficiency of the language spoken in your canton. If you live in Zurich and have French certification, that’s great, but it doesn’t matter on your permit application. C'est la vie.

Why does it take so long to get your permit?

As an American in Switzerland, every year, I must renew my B-permit in order to live here legally. In 2008, it took over four months to get my permit renewed. That's a third of a year. Yes. To process one sheet of paper. Other times, it's taken two months, sometimes three. This year is still to be determined, but it's a snail's pace so far--I've already waited over a month.

Because of these amazing lengths of time, I have often wondered what exactly the Migration department in Canton Aargau does with my renewal paper.

Are they making complex origami figures with my paper and displaying it at the Kunsthaus? Are they doing experiments in dust collection? Or are they just too busy looking at porn to bother with my application for B-permit renewal?

Well, now it's official. We can blame the porn.

At least in Zurich, porn is one of the reasons given for problems with the Migration department. Zurich-based solicitor Ueli Vogel-Etienne has cataloged a list of failures on behalf of the migration department: disregard of working hours, routine circulation of porn via the department's email system, staff surfing the Internet during working hours, office workers not ever reachable during office hours. Wow. Switzerland isn't innocent, after all.

As far as I know, Canton Aargau's migration department's efficiency has yet to be investigated. But since I've already waited over a month for my permit to be renewed so far this year, I would recommend a little Aktion on Mr. Vogel-Etinenne's behalf.

After all, it just doesn't make sense that when a Swiss train is one minute late it is cause for a heart attack, but when a foreigner's piece of paper delayed for four months, it is no big deal.

How long have you waited for your permit to be renewed?

Amount of B-Permits Cut in Half

Yesterday I was upset to hear that the Swiss government has cut the number of B-permits it issues each year to non-EU residents from 5,000 to 2,500. That's a cut of 50% this year (50%!). The country is so paranoid about its 4% unemployment rate (4%!) that as usual, the foreigners are becoming its scapegoats.

But as an unemployed foreigner, I speak from experience that about half the people in my local unemployment office appear to also be foreigners. So let's see. We're not taking Swiss people's jobs, we're losing our own. We get laid off first. And now, to add insult to injury, we also get kicked out first.

The head of the HR department at my husband's international company told him she is frustrated with this as well because it makes hiring personnel all the more difficult. She can't find enough Swiss engineers to fill the positions at her company to save her life, but now the government won't let her hire those she can find because heaven forbid, they're the Non-EU version of the F-word.

According to her (and she's Swiss), Non-EU B-permit holders are not typically taking jobs away from the Swiss. If you want to see who is, head over to your local Aldi and listen to the cashiers speaking high German there. Most Non-EU B-permit holders are working in highly specialized jobs that could not be filled by a Swiss and is the reason they were allowed into Switzerland in the first place.

And in my opinion (I'm not biased of course!), losing half of a highly-qualified workforce will only hurt Switzerland's economy in the long run, not help it. But who needs engineers anyway?

Anyhow, that's my little "raclette rant" of the day. Anyone else have an opinion on this?

My Application for a C Permit

Dear Switzerland,

I would like to apply for my C Permit a year ahead of time because in four short years, I have become more Swiss than some Swiss. I realize this is not “the rule” and may involve special votes and über-democratic procedures, so here is my reasoning for your fellow citizens to consider:

-If a tram is one-minute late, I feel like I’m going to have a heart attack.

-I have personally dug out a Schweizer Familie Feuerstelle, buried under five-feet of snow, and proceeded to cook fondue over a wood fire to the amazement of passing Swiss snowshoers (see photo).

-I can now eat an entire cervelet in one sitting.

-When I’m invited somewhere, I now wait outside said person’s door until the nearest clock tower dings our agreed meeting time. And then I ring the bell one second later.

-Last year my gutters were so clean I could drink from them but I still went out and bought a SFr 6 bottle of water anyway.

-I often start capitalizing all English Nouns.

-I consider paying SFr 60 ($60) for dinner a “good deal.”

-I also consider a savings of 10% reason enough to run an advertisement in a newspaper.

-I have gone to two Tunnelfests.

-Finally, I make sure to crowd the door when a train arrives so that the people trying to get off the train can’t.

Anyhow, thanks for your consideration and I look forward to being one step closer to citizenship.

Herzliche Grüsse,

The Hausfrau

Now it’s your turn. Are you worthy of a C Permit? Prove it by leaving a comment below.

Common “mistakes” made by expats in Switzerland

Every country has its culture and its quirks and when you start living in a new one, you realize just how different things are. Below are some “mistakes” I’ve made as an American living in Switzerland. Maybe you can relate.

Smiling. The Swiss will think you’re retarded. I have now trained myself not to smile in order to look somewhat normal. But sometimes I still can’t help it.

Showing enthusiasm when your boss says, “We’ve got a new project and we might need you to work overtime.” Don’t smile and say “great.” He will think you’re crazy. (And let’s be honest, no sane person would want to work overtime except an American.)

Not knowing that without your permit, you can do nothing. You can’t get a phone (except for a pre-pay cell), you can’t travel outside the country, and you can’t do much of anything else. Except wait.

Decorating your office space with photos and personal items. The Swiss prefer white walls in the office and keep their personal lives separate from work.

Not realizing that when a Swiss criticizes the way you do laundry or gardening, that this is just their way of being friendly and saying hello.

Standing in line. There is no such concept, despite misconceptions that everything in this country is organized to the 10th of a second. The only people who stand in line are expats.

Not getting that sandwich right at noon. There might not be any left at 12.30 p.m. And all a Swiss colleague will say to you is, “you should have been more on time.”

Opening the window on a Swiss train. It doesn’t matter how hot it is. Most Swiss hate drafts and will prefer to sweat.

Not introducing yourself to a Swiss first. Most Swiss people generally will not come to you.

Not being patient. Everything in Switzerland takes forever. Getting paid by the unemployment people. Making friends. Getting your permit.

Asking for butter. They just don’t use that stuff on bread here. And if you do manage to ask for some, you’ll be charged for it.

Ok, I’ve embarrassed myself enough. What “mistakes” have you made as an expat in Switzerland?

This post was written on behalf of AffordableCallingCards.net, a new expat community blog. This blog offers affordable calling cards in Switzerland as well as information about living in abroad in Switzerland and many other countries.

The Long Wait. Or Permit Renewal in Switzerland.

Well, I won’t hold my breath until I actually have it in my hand, but my renewed residence permit is ready for pick-up, for a mere 199 CHF, as I was informed from a letter from our Canton yesterday. Renewing this residence permit is a yearly process for those of us from non-EU countries.

The process begins with a letter telling you to show up to your Canton’s office with a form filled out (in German) and to bring your permit and passport. This letter arrived in March (the expiration date on our permit is early May).

So in April we showed up at the office with our forms and passports and turned in our expiring permits (thank God they don’t take your passport too…) expecting our new permits to arrive in a few weeks.

Make that more like a few months. Really. Four months to be exact. (Not to mention, they had the audacity to pay for second rate postage on the letter informing us they are ready—a mere .15 cents less than first class—to extend this laborious process by another five days.) But heck, what’s the difference at this point?

Now if they would date the renewed permit August 27, 2009, that would be one thing. But no. It will be dated May 7, 2009, which gives us a mere six months until we will have to start the process all over again if we intend on staying. Talk about inefficiency. I’ve never seen a country with such efficient and reliable public transportation with such poor public paper processing. It’s really quite amazing.

So now, after months of delay, I can finally fill out some more paperwork I was given in June to be sent, along with my shiny new permit, to the Canton of Zurich to approve me to write a column for a magazine that’s been waiting on me since early June. I’m bracing myself for another long few months. But in the meantime, I'll have plenty of time to write.

The fun times of Swiss living to be continued…