Toddler German Class in America

Toddler M is taking German class once a week, as of last Friday. The Frau is not sure if it will be effective or not (is three hours once a week enough to learn a language?), but she had to at least try one session for the sake of her daughter, since she knows first-hand how painful it is to try to learn a language when you’re old.

Toddler M’s summer German class is held in a park near a beautiful brick building with a clock tower. If the setting didn’t come complete with parking spaces the size of some small European countries, it could almost pass as Swiss.

Anyway, The Frau sat in on the first 20 minutes of the class because Toddler M didn’t want her to leave. While the teacher spoke German most of the time, she would still switch to English to discipline or tell the children to be quiet when someone else was speaking.

The Frau found all of this English unnecessary, but maybe this is because she is used to the real-deal-throw-your-daughter-into-a-Swiss-German-world-at-six-months-old-and wish-her-the-best-while-you-go-to-work method. And she has to say, this method works.

Because after class, the teacher reported that Toddler M knew a lot of German already and had a lot of potential. It was good to hear that her first three years in Switzerland had some impact and also that the YouTube videos in German that The Frau makes her watch are most likely helping too.

But in general, The Frau still wonders: How does an average American child learn a foreign language? The answer: They don’t.

American culture still seems to believe that learning a second language is either for poor immigrants in an ESL program or a luxurious pastime for rich kids. Language learning is not a serious undertaking supported by American tax dollars nor are there many programs for complete immersion even if you are willing to spend half your salary on them. It’s too bad because The Frau believes a second language for all Americans could be the key to a better understanding of the world for our citizens.

Not to mention, language learning is fun, at least if you ask Toddler M. After the class she said in a very happy English, “Mommy, I really love German!”

So needless to say, it was all worth it.

Language Learning in America

The Frau spent last weekend with some expat friends who were visiting the States from Switzerland. Their daughter, Toddler S, speaks Swiss German. And when The Frau heard her speak, she couldn’t believe how much she had missed hearing the language.

But the best part was that Toddler M and Toddler S played like they had never been apart. Although they were starting to play exclusively in Swiss German back in September, this time Toddler M spoke English and Toddler S spoke Swiss German. But they understood each other perfectly. Kids these days.

Anyway, that fact that Toddler M still understood Swiss German six months after leaving it behind made The Frau extremely happy. One of her big regrets lately is that Toddler M isn’t being immersed in another language at the time in her life when it is so easy for her to learn.

Sure, every Tuesday, Toddler M gets approximately 30 minutes of Spanish at her preschool, which is the American idea of language learning, but The Frau longs for a preschool that immerses the child completely instead of teaching the language like a class. The Chicago area has several of these preschools, but alas, none are in her very white and English-speaking neighborhood.

So. The Frau is doing the best she can. This means that Toddler M watches a lot of Peppa Wutz and Bummi on YouTube, she meets with a German expat and her child once a week at the local library (which involves more German for The Frau than for Toddler M, but that's another story), and this summer she’ll go to German School. Granted, this German School is American in that it only takes place for three hours once a week, but hopefully it will be enough for Toddler M to keep her language retention going. Another part of the American Experiment continues…

Frohe Ostern, mitenand.

How do you learn German in Switzerland?

Welcome to another edition of Dear Frau. It’s kind of like Dear Abby, except with an international twist. If you have a question, don’t hesitate to contact The Frau. She doesn’t have all the answers, but sometimes she likes to pretend otherwise.

Dear Frau,

Thank you so much for your blog. I am moving to Switzerland soon and aspire for my blog about my Swiss experience to be half as good as yours. I am hoping you can discuss and recommend options for learning German in advance of my arrival. I am setting up a private tutor, but thought you may have come across good books (like, Hoi! Your Swiss German Guide :)) or programs (i.e Pimsleur) to suggest as well. I unfortunately took French in high school and college.

Thank you,

Preparing to Sprechen Sie Deutsch

Dear Preparing to Sprechen Sie Deutsch,

The Frau would like to unlock the secrets to Swiss German right here and now on this blog, but alas, the language itself is a secret (much like Swiss bank accounts used to be), and she doesn’t have a key. So until the big bad U.S. government decides Swiss German should be as accessible to them as Swiss savings accounts, The Frau has turned to the only member of her family who understands the language:

The Frau: Baby M, is there a secret to learning Swiss German?

Baby M: Nein nein nein! (Her current and favorite German word)

So there you have it.

The Frau does not like to be discouraging. She does have one American friend and one British friend who learned to speak Swiss German (don’t ask her in what dialect!) and she has several friends who can understand Swiss German because they have been here a long time and also because they spoke fluent German before they moved here.

Learning German in Switzerland can be challenging

But for the rest of us French-in-high-school types, especially for those of us with no close Swiss relations to practice with, the process of learning High German and then understanding Swiss German will be long. One must accept that any form of German will take a long time to learn in Switzerland.

The thing is, you must learn two languages to function in the German-speaking part of Switzerland. First, you must learn High German. And learning High German could take years—even if you were living in Germany. But since you’re not living in Germany, it could take decades. Why? Because in Switzerland, you will not hear the High German language on a daily basis. And when you speak High German to a Swiss, you will often be spoken back to in English because the Swiss hate High German. Learning High German was so pointless to the Romands (Native Swiss French speakers) that many of them now teach Swiss German to schoolchildren instead of High German. How they do that, exactly, The Frau would love to know.

Where does this leave the over-achieving expat? If you’re like The Frau, it leaves you sad and depressed and wishing you could move to the French section, n’est pas?

But instead of going into depression when you’re feeling like a language loser, go to Germany or Austria instead. Then you’ll realize that you are learning German. One day, very far in the future, without realizing it, you too will understand a couple of Swiss German words. Then a few more. Eventually, maybe, like The Frau, after seven long years, you’ll get up to about 30% Swiss German comprehension.

Why is understanding Swiss German so hard? The fact that its dialect changes every ten miles? The fact that it’s only spoken and not written? The fact that Swiss people are very private and do not typically engage in casual discussion with strangers? The fact that a third of Swiss people speak English? The fact that even Swiss German speakers can’t always even understand each other?

Ja. Ja. Ja. Ja. And ja.

And then, think about this: Most native High German speakers claim it takes them about three months of living in Switzerland for them to be able to understand Swiss German. So…here are some tools to help you on your long German journey:

The Frau’s Quick Review of High/Swiss German learning materials/classes:

Berlitz: The Frau has no experience with Berlitz, but several of her friends have recommended it for beginners because it helps you learn useful phrases instead of being too academic.

Intensive German: The Frau has taken two separate intensive German classes in Switzerland. Her verdict? They are too intensive to take in everything that fast. Often leads to frustration.

Not-so intensive German: Taking a class 2-3 times a week for 1.5 hours at a time gives you time to take things in and practice them without being overwhelmed. The Frau did this pace for a couple years when she first moved to Switzerland and it was perfect.

Television: Watch German shows with basic getting-to-know-you conversations like Bauer Sucht Frau. Once you understand that well, you can graduate to the Swiss German version, which is called Bauer, Ledig, Sucht. Movies are good too—if you can get over the dubbed voices—especially good are movies you know really well in your own language. The Big Lebowski, for instance, is hilarious in German. Ich bin der Dude, anyone?

Language buddy: One of the best things to do is to find someone who speaks High German or Swiss German and who also wants to learn your native language. Then you can meet for an hour and speak each language for half the time.

Hoi: The Frau has this book but The Frau does not find this book too helpful. Why? It’s impossible to figure out how to pronounce things from it. And if you don’t know how the words and phrases in it sound, you will get nowhere. Why? Because Swiss German is a spoken language! Why this book does not come with the CD is beyond The Frau.

Pimsleur: The Frau has Swiss German Pimsleur. She likes it ok. It definitely helps to hear the language. But she thinks it is best used after learning some High German first so one has a basis for what and why they are saying what they are saying.

Anyone else want to chime in on how to best learn German/Swiss German?

Happy Talk

Sometimes understanding German makes living in Switzerland more difficult. You hear insults. You hear stupid conversations. And you hear two twelve year old girls asking the Coop cashier how old they must be to buy cigarettes.

When she told them 16, they were very disappointed.

I was disappointed in them. Somehow, I wish I could have imagined that they were asking where the lollipops were.

I miss my little expat bubble sometimes. Living in reality can be much harder. Maybe I should move to the French section. Or better yet, the Romansch section. Everyone would be saying happy things there.

The 10 Steps of Learning German in Switzerland

There is a clear progression of how English-speaking foreigners deal with learning German in Switzerland. It goes kind of like this:

1. Grüezi. Sprechen Sie Englisch?

2. I'm so excited to learn a new language!

3. I'll be fluent in no time!

4. Hallo, Schweiz! Der, Die, Das, ich kenne etwas!

5. Was? There is also a Den, Dem, Denen, and Des? Echt?

6. Now I'm too scared to talk. I'll get it all wrong.

7. Fine I'll talk. I'll just turn every der, die, das, den, dem, denen, and des into a "duh".

8. I can talk now! I'll go to the flea market and show off! Was kostet das? Was? What is this "foyf" you're saying? I know my numbers, dang it!

9. Crap. I took three years of German and still understand nothing on the streets in Switzerland.

10. Grüezi. Sprechen Sie Englisch?

Dear Frau: My German Class Sucks!

Welcome to the first edition of Dear Frau. It's kind of like Dear Abby, except with an international twist.

This column will run every Thursday on One Big Yodel because I get a lot of good questions from readers via email and it's a shame not to share them so everyone can benefit. Anyhow, from now on, if you have a question, feel free to email me and maybe it will be featured in next week's Dear Frau.

Dear Frau,

My German class sucks. The students are unmotivated. The students are drunk. The students fall asleep during the lessons. What should I do?

Danke,

Motivated Student

Wow. First off, to make myself feel better, I would read Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris. He takes French lessons in this book and his class sucks too. Bonus: The book is in English and costs less than a German class.

Secondly, I wouldn't underestimate the power of being drunk. Personally, I find the more I drink, the better my German gets.

Thirdly (and most seriously), I would get a good luck charm. Because here's the thing: good language classes all come down to luck. You either get a good teacher and a good group of students or you get a bunch of people who like to pay to speak English.

That said, if you can afford private lessons, I have two good teachers I can recommend in the Zurich area and I'm happy to give out their contact info. One of these teachers smiles a lot (Italian heritage) and that's worth paying for in itself.

Also, Kathy, of Two Fools in Zurich, did a guest post on German learning a few months back. It might inspire.

But at this point, the Frau has run out of ideas. Anyone else have some advice? What should our motivated student do?

Deutsch Lernen

Guest Post by Kathy from TwoFools in Zurich Blog


I love studying languages. Some people collect stamps, some build model trains. I study languages. I have even put this down as a hobby on my resume, in a joking, self-deprecating way. I studied Russian, French, Spanish, and Latin in (American) public schools. Slightly extending the gap year(s) before university meant starting over with Spanish and Russian.  In the past five years, I've started studying French again, took some Italian classes. And now German.

You might think, How wonderful to speak so many languages! I think so too and wish I did. I made it to a reasonable level of fluency only with Russian (what with that being the language of my field of study in grad school I pretty much had to).

And now German. Here I am in the Alemannic world with my love of language study, lots of free time and a desperate need to communicate outside of my cozy little anglophone world. I am in charge of household stuff, and that means using German with movers, repairmen, shopkeepers, dry cleaners, receptionists, Kreis officials, and so on. But more than this, here is my chance to really, finally become fluent in another language. I am feeling very motivated.

Ready, set, go. A few weeks after arriving I started intensive classes at a nearby school (starts with L, ends with I). At first I was a little dismayed. This was clearly the instructor's day job, a little too beneath him to be troubled to learn to be a teacher. Or perhaps he just lacked the gift.  No matter, he was just filling in for the regular instructor. Also, the core group of students was a particularly congenial and motivated group of English speakers.

The regular instructor was amazing. He was able to seamlessly introduce the new vocabulary into whatever topic he was covering so that our listening comprehension really grew along with the necessary but tedious effort of memorizing new words. He was great at grammar explanation, relentless in making the students speak in class. So what if the school kept dumping additional students with varying levels of ability into the class, sometimes exceeding the maximum number of students specified in their promotional literature. So what if the the construction site outside made it a little hard to hear with the window open. The teacher was gifted and the core group motivated. I learned a lot in those first two months, and really felt I was on that first upward curve of a learning peak.

Language learning is not a straight-line process, even if classes are. There are peaks and valleys and plateaus. Being on the rising curve of a peak is one of the most exciting and rewarding parts of language learning. Suddenly  you're reading an article in the paper. Without realizing it, you've gotten into  conversation and you understand what the other person is saying. Wow. And there is always another peak ahead. That makes it a little easier to take the plateaus and valleys.

I'm in a valley now. Here's what happened. I had to go back home for a month for a family medical emergency. (I should say here that I am very grateful that I was able to do this and am happy to report all is well at home now.) I came back to the same class but was hopelessly behind. After a few days I asked to be moved to another class that had just started an earlier the chapter.

Like the first temporary instructor and one other substitute teacher we'd had for my first class, this instructor was just useless at grammar explanation and not at all in charge of the class. In her defense, the students were quite a lot to handle. A princeling from some small oil-producing kingdom, a sulky Columbian Lolita, a high-energy Brazilian woman who enjoyed taunting the princeling into rages, two Turks mostly in their own world. They were all young, loud, and entitled. They also all shared an amazingly poor grasp of the vocabulary and grammar, making it almost impossible to get any benefit from the class. I got out.

A month (mostly) of travel and now home in Zürich a month, I have already forgotten some vocabulary and barely made a start on moving ahead on grammar on my own. Unlike some others, I lack the iron self-discipline it takes to study language on my own, at least not in the beginning stages. I need the structure of a class to keep me going.

I already knew this about myself of course.  We factored the cost of classes into the "What will it take to move to Switzerland?" planning. (My husband gets some free classes and some others reimbursed through his job. Lucky sod.)

So now the search for a new school starts again. Rather than just picking a place a random, which I did last time, I'm trying to be little smarter this time. There are a lot of language schools in Zürich, ranging from the Kantonal school to Migros Klubschule to dozens of pricier choices. (I found a pretty useful list here.) The competition hasn't really done much to ensure quality and it varies pretty widely. Apparently, schools here stay in the black by paying low wages to teachers and by continually slotting new students into open classes. (Schools in my home town don't do this, but they're going broke now.)

My new search rules.

Know what you want in a school and try to find one that fits your criteria. Small classes? Professional teachers? Close to your house? Cost?

Ask for advice and opinions about quality of schools. One school has been pretty frequently criticized by friends and in online forums, so I'm passing on that one.

A school should offer you the opportunity to at least sit in on a couple of classes at no charge before registering.

Make sure you understand the fees and refunds offered in case of cancellation (yours and the school's) and closures. My previous school canceled a class for a week because "too few students" were able to attend. They didn't offer a refund and only offered make up classes when pressed for this. They also didn't offer refunds or make up classes for holiday closures.

If the school has promised a benefit it doesn't deliver, complain to the Chef (director). My previous school offered excursions as an included benefit, but these somehow never happened.

To get a sense of what's out there in terms of quality, I checked out English Forum threads on language schools. Next I started eliminating schools that are too far away (that ruled out two lower priced options: Migros and EB Zürich). I also called and did a phone screening at a few places. I got a pretty negative vibe off of Alemania and a good one from Bellingua.

Bellingua offers a 2-week, money-back trial period and promises lots of other good stuff. I'm going Monday for my assessment test and to get started on my free trial. I'm pretty excited about it.

So excited in fact that I've pulled out all my study aids. Study aids are essential part of a language-study hobby, of course, ensuring that the maximum dollars are spent to ensure the osmotic language learning process is fully engaged. I have grammar books, text books, self-teaching books and CDs, dictionaries, vocabulary builders, and on and on.

But my favorite study aid is actually free (if you don't count the cost of the phone). It's an iPhone/Blackberry app called gFlash. Instead of making all those flashcards, hundreds of them, just create spreadsheets in Google docs and then upload them to the app on your phone. Bingo, presto. The sheets are formatted into flash cards. You also get nifty quizzes that help motivate you to get through yet another vocab list.

That's the thing, of course. In the end, you have to commit lots of words to memory and learn the grammar. You have to listen and speak and read. The classes and study aids are really just a good way to trick yourself into doing this hard work.  Never surrender, never give up.

To read more from Kathy, visit her Blog, TwoFools in Zurich.

Why I Spoke Bad German for 3.5 Hours

Yesterday I spoke non-stop German for the longest time in my life. Three and a half hours. It was bad.

I heard myself using the wrong forms of the verb "to have", starting a past-tense sentence with "ich habe" only to realize the verb at the end required an "ich bin" (but by then it was too late to go back and start over), and also partaking in my very favorite habit of leaving off the verb entirely since having to place it at the end of a sentence after words like "because" makes me forget I even need to use a verb in the first place.

Throughout my butcherings of the German language, my German friend spoke to me like I hadn't just said things like "My husband, her have today lunch with girlfriend". Instead, she kept the conversation going, translating my bad German to good.

I don't know how she did it.

But then again, what's a few wrong verbs combined with a hundred misplaced articles when you've perfected more important words like "Super" and "Genau"? Communication always comes down to filling in the blanks anyway. So while I imagined what my friend was saying, she imagined what I was trying to say. It was really a win-win.

That is why I was able to speak bad German for 3.5 hours. Because I finally found someone patient enough to listen for more than two minutes before switching to English. And for that, all I can say is a grateful danke vielmal. Maybe I'll actually get better someday. Because I think all that's between me speaking bad German and me speaking good German is that one person who will actually listen.

Language in Barcelona

The first time I heard the Swiss German exchange of “Merci” and “Bitte,” (“thank you” and “you’re welcome”) I thought it was as little strange. Having learned French in high school, I associated “merci” solely with the French language. Hearing it used in Swiss German seemed, well, a bit foreign.

But I just returned from Barcelona. There they greet you with an “hola” and thank you with a “merci.” So what do you know—“merci” is a much versatile than I thought and I practically fit in like a local, thanking everyone with it.

In some ways, the people of Barcelona share many of the same issues as the people living in the Swiss German speaking regions. The natives in Barcelona speak Catalan, which seems to be a mixture of French and Spanish. According to a local we talked to, most people speak Catalan and Spanish—since Spanish is required to get around the rest of the country. In addition, English was also widely spoken and it was also advertised heavily by language schools, as you can see above on a placemat we received at a Barcelona restaurant.

Speechless in Switzerland

Another installment from my Expat Adventure column in Swiss News has made its way into the hands of the public. Maybe some of you can relate to this one. It's called "Speechless in Switzerland," and it's all about my love/hate relationship with language here. After two years of dutiful German language study, suddenly I've become more tongue-tied than ever before. Den, dem, der, are you kidding me? I guess the more German I learned, the more I realized how many mistakes I could make and that really silenced the linguist lurking within me. Maybe someday it will reemerge.

Until then, you can read all about why I'm still limited to my status as a one-language wonder in Swiss News, available at any Kiosk in Switzerland or by clicking here.

The German Headache

If you have ever tried to work in a foreign language for any extended period of time, then you'll know all about what I experienced today--a phenomenon I've deemed "the German headache". When you've got it bad, it basically feels like your head is going to explode.

It's one thing to listen to or read another language for pleasure or in a class. But when you are surrounded by locals in an office and are expected to be contributing on the same working level that they are, but without the fluent language skills they have, the headache no doubt comes on because this task is almost impossible--especially when the conversation often changes between the high German I've been learning and the Swiss German I still can't for the life of me comprehend.

To be fair to myself, I have noticed that my German headaches take longer to come on at work than they used to. I can go for over an hour of concentrated German discussions at work before the headache sets in. My listening comprehension has skyrocketed in the last few months, but unfortunately, my speaking has dug itself a very deep hole and does not want to come out, except of course, in English.

Today I did really well and the headache didn't really set in bad until about 7 pm. But unfortunately, around that time, we began an intense almost 2 hour discussion of marketing ideas. Needless to say, by the end, I was as burnt out as I've ever been. I don't think tired can even describe it. It's part of an "expat tired" that can only be experienced by living overseas.

So on that note, it's time for bed.

The Language Problem

The other day, I ordered an apple juice in German and the waitress answered in English, "small or large?"

Then the German guy I was with said with slight annoyance, "That doesn't happen to me in America. I don't say something in English and they answer me back in German."

True. But this is part of the problem for English speakers living abroad. No one gives us a chance. Upon hearing an accent or a mistake, or just because others want to practice their English, people speak English back to us even though we're trying to speak something else. Despite this phenomenon, I'll usually try to continue in German. But they'll just continue in English. Until it just gets weird and eventually I give up and switch back.

Yesterday I went out to lunch with a bunch of co-workers. On the one hand, it was great because they all spoke in Swiss German the entire time. On the other hand it was terrible. Because they all spoke Swiss German entire time. And I understood about 15% so I had to either resort to looking at my cell phone or smiling and nodding.

While smiling and nodding is useful, it is one of the most tiring things one can do for an hour. Biking up a Swiss hill is less exhausting than smiling and nodding. Try it sometime and compare. You won't be let down. On the way home after that lunch, I literally felt like going to sleep even though it was 2 pm.

Yes, sometimes two years of German language class do me absolutely no good. Despite being a country of linguists, Switzerland is not a great place for an English speaker to start learning a language themselves. I'm really reached a new frustration after two and a half years. I could be wrong, but I feel like if I had been living in Germany I would be much better at German than I am now. C'est la vie.

Gayle Tufts--The Best of Two Language Worlds

If you live in Switzerland, one thing that begins to become almost normal is hearing at least two languages used together in one conversation. In my office for example, one person will speak high German while the other answers in Swiss German, or I’ll talk English while my boss talks high German while another colleague’s on his landline talking French (only to put the person on hold to start talking to another caller in Italian.)

When you think about it, it’s an interesting way to go through life, throwing around languages like hot potatoes. But for the linguistically challenged American, it also makes for a very difficult learning environment.

My boss introduced me to Gayle Tufts, an American performer and comedian living in Germany who sings and talks in English and German, using them interchangeably. When you think about it, it makes for that many more great rhyming opportunities…start the phrase in English, but finish it in German or vice versa.

The other advantage is that it lets you use the best of both languages. So you can completely avoid having to stress out about whether a word is Der, Die, or Das by always using “the” instead. And when a German word is clearly more interesting than an English one, like “Handschuhe” rather than "glove", you can use it without offending anyone by using the wrong gender.

Here is a link to a Gayle Tufts performance. Enjoy. And long live the duetsche Sprache.