The French Are Right (sometimes)

Over the weekend I had the opportunity to attend a wedding celebration in Zurich. My favorite part (besides seeing friends) was the dessert buffet. There was chocolate mousse. There was vanilla mousse. There was strawberry shortcake. There was apple strudel. And there were cream puffs. So of course I took some of everything.

While we Americans piled our plates high with sweets the French guy sitting next to me had taken just one chocolate mousse and put it in the center of his plate. He shook his head at our indulgence and told us that it was better to enjoy just one small thing than stuff yourself silly. In other words, he was very French and we were very American.

It was only the next day that I realized sometimes the French are right.

The search for the long lost cup holder

If you're an American and you rent cars in places other than North America, chances are you'll have this experience:

You buy a soda at a grocery store or gas station. You get in the car, open it, start to drink it, and then look for where to set it down so you can get on your way. You try setting it in this place and that and finally come to the conclusion that the car is missing one important thing: a cup holder.

It's taken me five years of living in Europe but I now know to not expect a cup holder in my car. A cup holder is an American thing.

I had never considered this before. But when you think about it, what self-respecting European drinks on the run? No, better to spend 5 Euros on one soda or coffee and enjoy it for a few hours at a cafe.

But the cup holder phenomenon goes beyond cars. Take baby strollers. In the U.S., you can get a baby stroller complete with, you guessed it, a cup holder. European strollers, on the other hand, have places for shopping bags instead.

Have you ever searched for a cup holder and come up empty?

Not a time to celebrate

I heard the news from Swiss radio first: "Osama bin Laden ist tot."

"Really? They finally got him?" These were my thoughts as I lay in bed. Surprise. Disbelief. And finally, hope that the world will be a safer place.

And then I went to the NewYorkTimes.com and CNN.com and saw photos of Americans around the U.S. celebrating Osama's death with flags, fireworks, and cheers.

And then my hope was gone.

Have we learned nothing over the last ten years? Shame on people for celebrating death so outwardly. And double shame on the media for posting these photos on the Internet for the world to see.

Of course, following this story was another piece about how the terror level is even higher.

Yep. Instead of reacting in a way that would not feed a terrorist's motives any more than necessary, we celebrated in a way that would make them hate us even more.

Perhaps Americans abroad have a different view of these kind of events than those back home. If I had billions to donate to a cause, I would make sure all Americans could experience a world outside of their borders.

Until then, I guess the celebrations will continue.

What do you think?

America is on sale!

For awhile, I didn't know what could help the United States recover from its economic demise, but now I do: the Swiss tourists.

There's a lot of excitement among Swiss and expats in Switzerland. They can't wait to go on a shopping vacation–to the USA. Among Europeans, the U.S. is now considered a budget destination. See above, this was the leading topic in today's newspaper, "20 Minuten."

To further the incentive, the dollar fell yesterday to a new record low against the franc: $1 is now only worth .87 francs.

In just six months, the dollar has fallen 10%; 17% for the year against the franc. Since I moved to Switzerland five years ago, the dollar has fallen a total of 30% in value. Now that's a reason to get home and get shopping.

You Know it's Easter When...

It's been a tradition for the last five years. It never fails, every Easter, my grandpa sends me a package of marshmallow Easter eggs. He doesn't put them in a box or anything, he just wraps them in a brown paper bag. So they always arrive partly smashed and stale, but I love them all the same.

Where are the April showers?

I can't believe I would ever say this in Switzerland, but here it is: I am wishing for rain. Just for a day. Please?

In my highly scientific opinion (sneeze), the pollen this year in Switzerland is probably the worst it has ever been due to the extremely warm weather and lack of rain. Since spring decided to begin in February this year, I've been sick since oh, about then. And since we haven't had any rain for at least a month, the pollen is sticking to everything and blowing everywhere.

(Sneeze.) It would just be so great if I could breathe through my nose. Unfortunately, I have forgotten what that's like. I had to go back to the pharmacy today for yet another refill on my barely functioning allergy medicine.

But despite my allergies, I couldn't help but bike through these rape fields near Wettingen yesterday (see photo above). They're out a whole month earlier than usual.

And while I'm loving the warm, sunny weather, please, Zurich, rain. I know you can do it.

Anyone else having allergy issues this spring?

Healthcare in Switzerland vs. the United States

In the past few years, the U.S. has been in the news for its so-called health care reform. But what has been accomplished?

Like most things, as you learn more about another country’s way of doing things, you’re educated about your own country at the same time. Unfortunately, what I am learning is not flattering to the healthcare situation in the United States.

Basic Swiss health insurance covers you for emergencies that take place outside of Switzerland for up to twice the cost of what this emergency would cost inside the country. And yet Switzerland, known for being one of the most expensive places in the world, recommends that for travel to the United States, one take additional travel insurance since medical costs there will likely exceed twice the cost of the same procedure in Switzerland.

Yes. Medical care in the United States will generally exceed twice the cost of medical care in Switzerland. Why? Too many lawyers? Too many greedy people? Too many fat people? To me this is absolute insanity and shows just how out of control medical costs in the United States have gotten and how much reform really needs to take place there.

What do you think?

Lunch al fresco (if you can)

According to a study commissioned by the Federal Health Office and reported by swissinfo.ch, 27% of the Swiss population aged 14-65 were smokers in 2009. But among 20 to 24-year-olds, 39% percent smoke. Cough.

Despite these numbers, take a walk along Lake Zurich, and it can feel like everyone smokes. I can hardly walk two steps without choking. It’s really too bad, since Switzerland is so clean otherwise. But it’s hard to enjoy the fresh air and nice weather when it’s clouded by cigarette smoke.

Lately, like half the residents of Zurich, I’ve taken to eating my lunch by the lake. This is quite challenging for a non-smoker, but last Friday, I managed a milestone: I sat on a bench by the lake along with three other Swiss-German speakers, and no one lit up for the entire 45 minutes. I could hardly believe my luck.

But normally, I sit down, take two bites of my food, and someone starts smoking. So I play a strange game of musical benches, which never really ends well. However, I have done some completely unscientific research that I would like to share to help you choose your next outdoor dining bench:

1. Sit next to people who are eating. Most people here won’t light up in the middle of their lunch, only yours. So choose people who are just sitting down to eat, not those who are finishing.
2. Don’t sit by people who look like they are 20-24. Your odds of breathing smoke will be almost 40% instead of 30%.
3. Do not sit by people eating McDonalds. Not only does their lunch stink, their cigarettes will too. These people seem almost 100% more likely to smoke than those eating something from Tibits.
4. Analyze the wind (if there is any) and plan your bench strategy accordingly. If possible, sit on the edge of the bench closest to the direction the wind is coming from.
5. Find a secluded rock by the lake.

Anyone else have issues with smoke or strategies for avoiding it and still being able to enjoy lunch al fresco?

Great Ethnic Food in Zurich

After years of complaining about the lack of good ethnic food in Zurich, things are looking up for The Frau.

She’s discovered hands-down the best Indian restaurant in Zurich. She’s discovered a Thai place she likes. Not to mention a couple of her old standards, which she’ll also regurgitate here.

Cheti’s Curry Seefeldstrasse 7 8008 Zürich

Now this is good Indian food. And also not a bad price. For lunch, The Frau paid CHF 25 for a plate of chicken tikka masala complete with rice, side dishes, and a beverage. Wow. The Frau is getting to used to Swiss prices. Still. What a deal for Zurich. Service is friendly and fast. English is spoken too.

Tiffins Seefeldstrasse 61 8008 Zürich

The line out the door says it all. Besides daily specials like Singapore Noodles, this fantastic little Asian restaurant has standards like Sweet and Sour Chicken. And their mango/ginger beverage is well worth the CHF 6. Best of all, the dishes are reasonably priced, a small take-out portion can be as little as CHF 10. To snag a table at lunch, arrive before 12 or make reservations.

Restaurant Stadion Skarabaeus Seminarstrasse 71 5430 Wettingen

The Frau will forgive them for serving Schnitzel at lunch. Unfortunately, until more Swiss learn to appreciate fantastic Lebanese food, you can only order Lebanese food at dinnertime here--lunch is traditional Swiss. But the dinner is worth the wait. Two people can get 6 Mezzeh, or 6 small Lebanese dishes to share. And if you come with a party of 4, you can choose 12 dishes. Taboule. Hummus. Lebanese meatballs. It's all fantastic. Not a bad deal either: Mezzeh for two is CHF 45 and Mezzeh for four is CHF 95.

Wagamama Talstrasse 83 8001 Zurich

The Frau first discovered this Asian food chain in London and was thrilled when they came to Zurich. While their service may sometimes be strange—they will bring a main course and appetizer at the same time—the food is good and the green tea is free. Yes, free. Become a member of their club and you get great offers—free appetizers, free drinks, sometimes even buy one main dish, get one free. Their restaurant is always rather warm, so wear a t-shirt!

Hiltl Sihlstrasse 28 8001 Zurich

The best place for vegetarian food in Zurich. The Frau has been going there almost since she moved here and is never disappointed—except when it’s hard to find a table! But there’s a reason for that—the food is that good. And don’t forget to have the brownie with ice cream sometime. Hiltl also offers cooking classes in English.

Tibits Seefeldstrasse 2 8008 Zürich

If you’re looking for the ultimate salad bar, Tibits is the place to go. Some people have yet to realize that in a spirit perhaps only Starbucks has also mastered, there’s a Tibits right next to the Tibits. The newer Tibits is in the old NZZ cafeteria and is a much more spacious inside.

Restaurant Lemon Haselstrasse 17 5400 Baden

Forget Stars & Stripes, this is the place to go for a proper hamburger. Or barbecue ribs. Or nachos. In other words, American food. Is that considered ethic? Sure. We’re far enough from home. Another thing the Frau liked about this restaurant was their bread bar. You just help yourself to any breads you want along with dipping oils. For free.

Da Pippo Giuseppe Salvatore Untere Halde 11 5400 Baden

A pizza for CHF 13? A soft drink for CHF 3,50? A cute restaurant in Baden’s old town with friendly service included? What can The Frau say, this place had tasty pizza and they asked her if she wanted to take what she couldn’t eat home. She did. It made the deal even sweeter to get two meals for that price.

What restaurants do you like in Switzerland?

The Party Pooper

I tried. For five years. But I just can’t like Fasnacht (the Swiss version of carnival).

There are things about it that I love. I love seeing Swiss people smiling in the streets. I love the costumes. And I love watching everyone let down their guard and throw confetti with abandon. But I do not love that the very people that criticize me for recycling a glass bottle on a Sunday or eating popcorn during a movie think it’s just fine to beat drums and blast horns until 6 a.m. for three consecutive nights outside my apartment.

Every country has hypocrisy. Fasnacht is Switzerland’s.

I would probably love Fasnacht if it were more Swiss. Like if they stopped banging the drums at 10 p.m. on a weeknight. (I’d even put up with midnight.) That seems reasonable, doesn’t it? Especially since I’m not supposed to flush my toilet after that.

But when it’s 10 p.m. and you’re tired, and you know that despite the blasting fan, the earplugs, and the pillow over your head, that you’ll still be hearing the banging until 6 a.m., it doesn’t exactly make you love the holiday. Parties are fun. Except for the ones you can't leave.

Not to mention, the moment I emerge from my apartment, bleary eyed and exhausted, some Fasnacht clown will want me to pay for the privilege of listening to their music by buying a placket. Sorry. The thing I will pay for? A ticket out of town.

Going to the Movies in Switzerland

I went to the movies. Big deal. Well, it was. I hadn’t been to a Swiss movie theater for a few years, mainly because it’s such a pain to buy a ticket. Most Swiss plan to attend movies at least a week in advance and buy their tickets accordingly. So if you’re a lazy American and just want to show up before the show, good luck getting a ticket. Anyhow, going to the movies again reminded me just how different the experience is in Switzerland.

I went to see The King’s Speech on Saturday, which was luckily in E/d/f. The key letter being “E”, which meant the film was in English with German and French subtitles. Most movies in Switzerland are shown in their original language since most Swiss people are very particular (i.e. snobby) about seeing a movie in its original format. The sentiment in multi-lingual Switzerland is that people who watch dubbed movies are not sophisticated.

Swiss movie theaters have assigned seats. Your ticket has a seat number and you better sit in it, or you’ll disturb the order. Enter a Swiss movie theater that is only half-full, and you’ll find its entire audience clumped together in the back half of the theater, since it would be wrong to sit in an empty seat that you weren’t assigned to.

Then there are the snacks. My husband and I went to see the 5:30 p.m. show, so popcorn was our dinner. I snacked hungrily during the beginning of the movie, the popcorn tasted great, but each bag crinkle and chew made me feel self-conscious; no one else was making a sound; they had all put their treats away for the intermission, when the movie suddenly stops mid-sentence, and when it is finally socially acceptable to eat popcorn or an ice cream bar.

Today at the office, my Swiss friend was telling me how his partner went to a movie last week and he was glad he didn’t go with because the people sitting behind his partner were chomping on candy throughout the whole movie. Really? I said,…that’s…uh, terrible.

Dear Frau: Yodeling lessons in Switzerland?

Welcome to another edition of Dear Frau. It's kind of like Dear Abby, except with an international twist. If you have a question about life in Switzerland, don't hesitate to contact the Frau.

Dear Frau,

I am on a yearlong vacation here in Switzerland. Fabulous! (Well, my husband has to work, but it's a vacation for me.) Anyway, we'll be going back already in June and I have not yet learned to yodel! I cannot possibly face my friends in Colorado without a few good notes after having been here for a whole year. Seriously, I love to sing and have not been able to find any classes in Zurich. And I'm betting they'd be much more effective than my German classes! Do you know of any classes; have any contacts in this area; directions to point me, etc.?

Hoping for my own big yodel,

Yodeloo

Dear Yodeloo

The Frau has not yodeled in Switzerland, although her living room does have an alphorn in it. One step at a time, she thinks, lest she become too Swiss too fast.

In Zurich, the Frau has only run into two yodelers—and they were from Appenzell. Most Zurichers wear suits and a sour expression and don’t quite seem like the yodeling type.

So the Frau would probably go to Appenzell if she were really serious about yodeling. It appears to be possible to book a yodeling lesson through the Appenzell Tourism Office.

Another way to learn to yodel would be to join the Swiss Yodeling Association, which just celebrated its 100th anniversary on May 8. Its membership also includes flag tossers and alphorn players. Their next big festival is in Interlaken.

Or if you want to settle for alphorn lessons instead, the Swiss Alphorn School in Gstaad offers an intensive weekend course in June and welcomes beginners.

Has anyone else out there yodeled in Switzerland? Or know about the Swiss folk scene? If so, please help Yodeloo learn to yodelee by leaving a comment. Merci.

Writing Workshops in Zurich this Spring

Hello Yodelers,

If you’re interested in writing, this post is for you.

There are several writing workshops taking place in Switzerland this spring that may give you the inspiration you need to either get started as a writer or take your writing to another level.

First off, yours truly will be teaching a two-hour workshop at the American Women’s Club of Zurich on Saturday, March 26, on how to make a living as a writer abroad. The course costs CHF 30 and you must register by March 15.

Secondly, The Zurich Writers Workshop has announced its spring workshop and registration opened today. The workshop will take place May 6-8, 2011 and is divided into two sections, memoir/creative non-fiction and fiction. Guest instructors include New York Times Bestselling Author Susan Jane Gilman and award-winning Novelist Janet Skeslien Charles. The workshop costs CHF 250 and includes 9 hours of instruction, a literary tour of Zurich, instructor readings, coffee/snacks, and more. Registration is limited to 15 writers per section and is filling fast so it is advised to register as soon as possible if you would like to participate.

If you have any questions about either workshop, leave a comment. And if you know of any other writing events going on, please let me know.

Dear Frau: What is it about Switzerland?

Dear Frau

I would be interested in hearing the little quirky things that make Switzerland home to people. I would love to hear the things that people who adopted CH would miss if they went away.

Maybe you will ask your readers my question?

Take care and hope to hear from you,

Mrs. Crocodile

Dear Mrs. Crocodile,

There are many things The Frau would miss if she left CH. Maybe that’s why so far, she hasn’t.

For one, the cleanliness. The Frau can barely leave Switzerland these days without being completely disturbed by how dirty the rest of the world really is.

Public transportation that is so punctual that you miss it.

The clock tower reminding The Frau every 15 minutes, 24/7, just exactly how much time she wastes on Facebook.

Knowing that when you make an appointment for 7 p.m. this means exactly that.

The locked trash bins.

The excitement that occurs when the sun comes out.

The amount of chocolate you can eat without gaining a pound.

Being able to walk everywhere.

Not having to own a car.

The great outdoors. The pool. The ice rink. The biking paths. The hiking paths. The Slow Up events. The Frau’s running path by the Limmat River. The fact that she can swim in the river. Or the lake. A spa that’s only a 10-minute walk away. A train station that’s only a 2-minute walk away. An airport that’s only a 20-minute ride away.

Conversations that take place in multiple languages with no loss of communication.

The “I’m a daredevil” feeling you can enjoy when doing laundry on Sunday.

Knowing exactly how many minutes until the baggage appears at the Zurich airport.

What would you miss if you left Switzerland? Or if you’ve already left, what do you miss?

Something you would never see in Switzerland

It doesn't take a genius to guess that this sign is from a parking lot in the American South. When a country is run by lawyers instead of by the people, these kind of signs tend to be popular, if not a bit ridiculous in their excess caution. Not to mention, in the U.S., there is often more salt on the streets than snow.

While I don't necessarily need a sign to warn me that it's winter and snowy and therefore slippery, I would appreciate a small sprinkling of sand or salt on my Swiss streets sometimes. I was in Adelboden a few weeks back and could hardly walk without slipping. People were sliding down the streets in their snowboots. It was dangerous. I know that personal responsibility matters in Switzerland, but sometimes this is also taken to the extreme. At one point, a local told us to get down the main hill, we should take the parking lot elevator rather than the road because the road was too icy. So we went down the hill via the parking lot.

I just wonder where the balance is sometimes. From one country to the other, from one extreme to the other.

What do you think? Do you prefer to slip and slide with or without signage?

Mob Scene

Anyone that rides a Swiss train at rush hour (or on Sunday) can relate to this, oder?

In fact, the crowding on Swiss trains has gotten so crazy that the SBB is considering raising the price of tickets for people who commute during the rush hour. But the real problem, in my opinion, is that people getting on the train aren't letting the people that want to get off, off. What do you think?

Balloon Festival in Chateau d'Oex

Hi Yodelers,

It's been a busy January so far, but I'm trying to come down to earth long enough to remind you about an iconic event that happens once a year in Switzerland: the balloon festival in Chateau d'Oex. It starts this weekend (the 22nd) and runs through next Sunday (the 30th). I went to see it in 2009 and wrote about it last year. If you want to know more, you can read my post here. Or visit the official balloon website here. It's really a beautiful thing to see.

Dear Frau: I'm homesick

Welcome to another edition of Dear Frau. It's kind of like Dear Abby, except with an international twist. If you have a question about life abroad, feel free to contact The Frau and maybe your little Frage will be in the next edition of Dear Frau.

Dear Frau,

I've been here 9 weeks. I've eaten the cheeses, the Sprüngli, and the Schnitzel. I've lost the 20 pounds that lazy Americans bring with them, despite having eaten the cheeses, the Sprüngli, and the Schnitzel. I've taken more pictures of the mountains and lakes than Facebook can handle. I drink Prosecco whenever it is available. So tell me, how do I conquer the overwhelming waves of homesickness that literally take my breath away even as I enjoy my surroundings?

I'm 36 years old - can it really be this hard to be away from my family and friends?! We Skype, Vonage and Yahoo!Messenger. We e-mail, snail mail and send overpriced tokens of our love. But still, I feel like a 10- year-old at a never-ending sleep-away camp.

Any advice and/or humorous/horrifying stories of crying on the train and/or Panoramaweg would be welcome.

Danke a ton.

The Lone Kansan

Dear The Lone Kansan

You may feel alone but look around and you’ll see someone who is wearing sunglasses even though it is foggy out. That would be The Frau, trying not to show her red eyes. It’s funny how airports can be either the happiest or the saddest places, depending which gate you are at.

The Frau would like to say that the homesickness gets easier, but it doesn’t. It just gets more manageable as Switzerland becomes more like home. And if you just moved here nine weeks ago, congratulations, you survived the hardest time of year to be away from family. Things can only get easier now.

To deal with homesickness, The Frau recommends being an American. In other words, keep busy. Find a job, find a purpose, find a group of friends you enjoy being around. Or write a blog, write a journal, or write a book. These are some things that have helped The Frau.

Finally, don’t beat yourself up for feeling blue. It’s normal. If you didn’t miss your family and friends The Frau would be more worried.

As you know, you are not in Kansas anymore. So the next time someone cuts in front of you at the store or barges onto the train before you can get off, just click your red heels together and think, “there’s no place like home.”

Anyone else have tips on how to deal with homesickness?

The Apologetic Americans

Hello, I'm an American and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I haven't posted for awhile. I'm sorry if you don't like this post. I'm sorry it's taking me so long to get to the point. Here it is: Every time I visit the U.S., I notice something different. This time it was how apologetic Americans are. Everywhere I went, people were sorry.

If someone came within two feet of me in the bookstore they were sorry. If the cashier took 30 seconds to wait on me she was sorry. If a shopper went around me (without even touching me!) in a clothing store, she was sorry. Is this politeness? Or is this insanity?

Here’s a news flash for all you Americans—you don’t need to be so passive and apologetic. In Switzerland, people are rarely sorry about anything. If they bump into you at the grocery store they just keep going. If they elbow you at the cheese counter, they wanted to. If they get on the train before you can get off, they’re not sorry. Granted, the word "sorry" in German is quite the mouthful so maybe that's why people don't bother saying it. But still. Americans are so sorry, they say “sorry” when they have nothing to be sorry about.

I’m sorry this post is so short.

Time for Nothing. The horror!

It's that time of year again.

The time when this Frau gets really nervous because she has to do something extremely hard for an American: relax.

Switzerland has done wonders to calm her need to be busy at every moment, but she's still an American at heart and therefore way too antsy to just do nothing.

Still. The Frau is going to try. She is going to pretend like every day is a Swiss Sunday. She hopes you can be a little Swiss this holiday season too.

So, in honor of this strange, relaxing mindset, the Frau will say her holiday greetings, Swiss-style now: Frohe Weihnachten und ein glückliches Neues Jahr. Joyeux Noel et Bonne Année. Buon Natale e Felice Anno Nuovo. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from One Big Yodel.