Easter in Switzerland

When it comes to Easter planning, The Frau is frustrated. It seems like the perfect chance to get away for the long weekend, but the travel industry does their best to make sure it isn’t. Overpriced airfares (CHF 600 for a 1-hour flight anyone?), apart-hotels that usually have 3-night minimum stays make them 7 instead, and then there are the warnings from locals of heavy traffic.

It’s enough to make anyone consider staying home. Including The Frau.

Easter in Switzerland

So The Frau started researching how to have a fun-filled Easter weekend closer to home. And if the travel industry is frustrating you, don’t let them win. Here is a complete Easter weekend itinerary in Switzerland. Frohe Ostern, mitenand.

Maundy Thursday and Good Friday

Easter Procession in Mendrisio

Costumes from La Scala theater. Torch bearers. Brass instruments and drums. And 50 horses. Watch Christ’s journey to Calvary as you’ve never seen it before–recreated by 200 actors through the streets of Mendrisio.

Easter Saturday

Easter Egg Hunt at Museum Langmatt

This beautiful house/museum in Baden, filled with Monets and Reniors, also has a beautiful garden. At 3 p.m. on Saturday, April 19, they will have an Easter Egg hunt for children.  Cost is CHF 10 per child. Maximum age of participation is 8 years old.

Easter Sunday

Champagne spa breakfast in Leukerbad

Celebrate Easter Sunday in style—in your swimsuit. At the spa in Leukerbad, a champagne breakfast will be served poolside. The cost is only 42 CHF per person and the price includes spa entry.

Easter Monday

Bremgarten Easter Market

Ok, besides the Easter eggs and bunnies, there will be that odd stand selling Confederate flags. But the Easter spirit is there. And if you’re looking for a large market in a beautiful setting, then the Brengarten Easter Market won’t disappoint.

Anyone else have Easter ideas? The Frau thanks you for sharing.

Taxes for Expats

The Frau can tell any American hoping to live abroad what the worst part is: taxes.

According to Time, the U.S. is the world’s only industrialized nation that taxes citizens who live overseas, even if their income is generated in a foreign country and they never return to America.

Yes, there is a $97,000 (CHF 84,750) exclusion (not excluding the pain of still having to file). But if one lives in a high-cost country like Switzerland, this is a joke. Graduate students often make more than this in Switzerland. Hey, you’ve got to pay for your CHF 28 plate of Kung Pao Chicken somehow.

For The Frau, the worst part isn’t actually the requirement of paying U.S. taxes, even if it feels like taxation without representation.

The worst part is that it is all so confusing. The worst part is that it costs Americans abroad so much time, stress, and extra cash beyond the tax owed. And finally, the worst part is that the government gives you no mercy and treats you like a criminal despite how well intentioned you may be. If you don’t pay your U.S. taxes by April 15 each year, you pay huge penalties, UP TO 25%. The Frau asks you, what bank do you know of do you get 25% interest rates from?

Anyway, this means that most American expats, besides paying double taxes, also pay yearly penalties (and huge postal fees since electronic filing isn't possible) for their double taxing pleasure. This is because you can’t figure out what you owe the U.S. government until you file your local country taxes first. So you are always behind. You can’t win. This is the worst part of the worst part.

Big companies, most recently, Ernst & Young, were hired by Mr. Frau’s company to help to do the complicated taxes that most Americans living abroad face. But Ernst & Young did more harm than good. In fact, one year, Ernst & Young USA failed to translate Swiss Francs to U.S. dollars on the U.S. tax forms. Failed! The Frau had to correct them. And every year, The Frau and her husband kept paying huge penalties for late U.S. taxes despite so-called professional advice.

Finally. Finally, after another $4,000 late fee from the U.S. government, The Frau and Mr. Frau decided to ditch Ernst & Young. This year, they tried Taxes for Expats.

Disclosure: Taxes for Expats offered $350 off the service if The Frau blogged about the experience. Nothing said she couldn’t blog about them negatively, and trust The Frau, she would have had it been a bad experience!

To be fair, Ernst & Young had done so terribly, both in communication and in actual taxation form filling, that it didn’t take much to be better. But Taxes for Expats was much, much better.

First off, it was shocking, because whenever The Frau or her husband had questions, Taxes for Expats actually returned their emails promptly. This had never happened with Ernst & Young.

Then, Taxes for Expats translated Swiss Francs to USD correctly. In fact, everything appeared to be done correctly, both on federal and state forms. 

Then…which had never happened in six years with other big tax preparers, Taxes for Expats actually told The Frau and Mr. Frau that they could avoid some of the huge late penalties by paying estimated tax by April 15 and they estimated it for them with a form they could mail in! Who knew? Not Ernst & Young.

So, moral of the story.

Double taxes suck.

Taxes for Expats doesn’t.

If you’re an American in a confusing tax situation, The Frau highly recommends giving them a try. They are fast, accurate, and give better advice than any company The Frau has worked with in her almost 8+ years abroad.

Anyone else have taxing troubles or want to recommend a great person or company?

Crime on a schedule

Note to planes in distress—do not try to land in Switzerland—unless of course, you can do it between 8 a.m. and noon, or between 1:30 p.m. and 5 p.m.

Otherwise the Swiss Air Force is closed.

Case in point: On February 17, a highjacked Ethiopian passenger jet, which was landing in Geneva, had to be rescued by Italian and French military pilots as the Swiss Air Force was sleeping. Literally.

The Frau isn’t surprised. Because when her husband’s backpack was stolen from the local pool and they tried to get help, the police were closed. Silly Frau. It was dinnertime in Switzerland, so what did she expect?

Crime, apparently, should occur on a schedule, and the Swiss are serious about this. So check the schedule thief, and then steal away. Because in Switzerland, neither the police nor the army nor the air force will catch you. They are too busy eating lunch.

Why not take a shower in a parking garage?

The Frau has been in Switzerland long enough now to realize something:

You can take a shower in places that you otherwise wouldn’t consider taking a shower.

For instance, in a parking garage.

The Frau asks you: Is there any other country in the world where you would see a shower in a parking garage and think, “Yes, I might actually consider using that?"

Well, that’s the case in Einsiedeln, where the parking garage comes complete with toilets, showers, and a locker room. And none of them are questionable.

Sometimes, The Frau loves Switzerland.

It’s a place where she can shower without regret not only in parking garages, but also in train stations, her office, and at the lake.

Switzerland is known for cleanliness and it is not without reason. So go ahead, yodelers, The Frau encourages you to discover all the extra special places where you can become as clean as the country you’re living in.

10 books to love about Switzerland

In honor of Valentine’s Day, The Frau would like to share ten books to love about Switzerland and expatriate life.

Beyond Chocolate: Understanding Swiss Culture

By Margaret Oertig-Davidson

Contrary to popular belief, there is more to life in Switzerland besides chocolate (even on Valentine’s Day), and this book helps outsiders understand how Switzerland and its people tick.

There are books to love about CH and then there's
this raspberry truffle from Vollenweider too...

A Moveable Marriage: Relocate Your Relationship without Breaking It

By Robin Pascoe

Are you a trailing spouse or about to become one? Here’s a book on how you and your marriage can survive your first­–or tenth–international move.

Swiss Watching: Inside the Land of Milk and Money

By Diccon Bewes

Want to go beyond the Swiss stereotypes and deep into Switzerland to find out what, exactly Swissness means? Then this book is for you.

Expat: Women’s True Tales of Life Abroad

By Christina Henry de Tessan

No matter where we live as expatriates, this anthology demonstrates that some things about expat life are universal.

The Xenophobe’s Guide to the Swiss

By Paul Bilton

The blurb says it all: This book is definitely “A Frank and Funny Look at what makes the Swiss Swiss.”

La Place de la Concorde Suisse

By John McPhee

The army in Switzerland can seem mysterious, but not if you read this journalistic study of the its role in Swiss society.

GenXPat: The Young Professional’s Guide to Making a Successful Life Abroad

By Margaret Malewski

How can you survive (and thrive) when working in another country? This book has many answers.

Cultural Intelligence: A Guide to Working with People from Other Cultures

By Brooks Peterson

If you work in Switzerland, you will be working with people from other cultures. This book is a great introduction to any diverse workplace.

Inside Outlandish: Essays about Feeling at Home (in Switzerland)

By Susan Tuttle

A collection of essays about life in Switzerland as an outsider looking in.

Living in Zurich Guide

By The American Women’s Club of Zurich

This book bills itself as “The Most Comprehensive Guidebook To Life In Zurich As An Expat” and The Frau can’t argue with that. Like everything in Switzerland, it’s quite expensive, but if you’re new to Zurich, it’s worth every franc.

Register now for the 2014 Zurich Writers Worskhop

The Frau would like to inform all yodelers that registration is now open for the 5^th Annual Zurich Writers Workshop, which will take place May 23-25, 2014.

For English-language writing support and inspiration
in a German-speaking world

The Frau co-founded the Zurich Writers Workshop after she learned an important lesson about living abroad: if you want something in your adopted country or city and it doesn’t exist, sometimes you have to create it yourself.

Five years later, English-language writing support in Zurich–thanks to her workshop, and also to Nuance Words–actually exists. In fact, one British writer living in Zurich told The Frau that she didn’t want to move back to London because the writing environment in Zurich was so good. The Frau considered this the best compliment she’s ever gotten.

Anyway, this year, the Zurich Writers Workshop will feature two different courses. The first, taught by Anne Korkeakivi, will focus on both short and long fiction. The second workshop, taught by Chantal Panozzo, aka The Frau, will discuss ways to make a living as an international creative person.

On May 23, Orell Füssli The Bookshop will host a reading featuring both Anne Korkeakivi and Yours Truly. This reading is free and open to the public.

If any of this sounds mildly interesting, you can find out more at zurichwritersworkshop.com

12 Interesting Keywords Yodelers Use to End Up Here, Part 2

The Frau isn’t really into analytics but that doesn’t mean she can’t enjoy the Google version. Especially when it tells her how people like you end up here. In this second of two installments, The Frau will explore six additional keywords yodelers are using to arrive at One Big Yodel, along with a short commentary and links to other blog posts on that oh, so popular topic.

Hairdresser wages in Switzerland

The Frau did an unscientific Swiss salary survey not too long ago. Hairdressers do not rank high on the survey and The Frau has been wondering about this ever since. After all, a regular haircut can cost about CHF 100 for a woman and CHF 50 for a man with hardly any hair...  Find out more about salaries in Switzerland here:

Salaries in Switzerland

Healthcare in Switzerland vs. United States

Yes, The Frau often compares things between the U.S. and Switzerland, so click below, fellow yodelers with inquiring minds on the topic.

Dear Frau: Compare U.S. and Swiss Health Insurance

C-permit Switzerland benefits

Oh, that ever-defining C-permit.. The Frau loves hers because a C-permit in Switzerland means you’re a permanent resident and gives you most everything you probably wanted including permission to work, change jobs, and avoid having to fill out paperwork every single year just to continue to live here. But she went through quite a lot to get hers:

Swiss C-permit reject

My application for a Swiss C-permit

Want a C-permit? Take that test.

Why do Swiss live so long

Here’s a short answer: because they have an amazing public transportation system. This means less people are driving and more are walking. The Swiss certainly do not have long lives based on their eating habits. Cheese, 23 pounds of chocolate a year, and sausage do not a long lifespan make. But walking to the bus stop does.

Live Longer, Be More Swiss This Year

Are the Swiss rude

Oh…would The Frau talk about such a thing on her blog? Apparently yes, according to Google. But here’s the thing. The Swiss aren’t really rude. They just have different ideas about politeness in comparison to English speakers. Because things English speakers consider rude, like cutting in line at the ski lift, the Swiss consider assertive.

Why are the Swiss so pushy?

Better to live in Zurich or London

Zurich gets more rain than London. But it also has nicer air to breathe. Decisions, decisions. 

Dear Frau: Should I Move to Zurich?