Four Books You Should Read About Switzerland

The Frau is a reader as well as a writer. And naturally, to acquire new insights for her writing, she enjoys reading about the current place she calls home. Below are four must-reads for any expatriate in Switzerland (three of which armchair travelers will appreciate as well).

La Place de la Concorde Suisse

By John McPhee

“Switzerland does not have an army. Switzerland is an army.” This is a quote from La Place de la Concorde Suisse and also sums up why any expatriate in Switzerland should read it. The text, which originally appeared in The New Yorker, demonstrates how the Swiss army sums up Swiss life. There are also facts the Frau learned that made her laugh: did you know that Swiss German men who misbehave in the army are assigned to a Swiss French battalion as punishment? Did you know that most Swiss bridges are ready to explode at a moment's notice? Oh. And don’t be put off that the book was published in 1994. Since most things never change in Switzerland, it is still very relevant today.

Swiss Watching

By Diccon Bewes

What makes the Swiss tick? As most people who are living in Switzerland have discovered, there’s a lot more to the country than cheese and skis. Part information, part observation, this bestselling book is a must to anyone wanting to find out more about the little landlocked island we all call Switzerland. The book answers big questions about neutrality during World War II (hmm, see book above) as well as little ones, such as what the heck is Heidi Week at the local Swiss McDonald’s?

Living and Working in Switzerland

By David Hampshire

Already have that Swiss Army knife but still feel like you need another survival tool? This book will answer questions about permits, unemployment, apartment contracts, buying a house in Switzerland, and more. Even though the Frau has been in Switzerland for almost six years, she still sometimes finds herself referring to this book to confirm her suspicions concerning many Swiss procedures (and also because she is kind of a nerd like that).

Xenophobe’s Guide to the Swiss

By Paul Bilton

Big laughs usually come from little truths. And this tiny book is full of them. Get to know the Swiss with something they are not usually known for: humor. Then, for even more insights into why you may find the Swiss a little strange, be sure to read the Xenophobe’s Guide to the Country You Are From.

Enough of what the Frau thinks. Do you have any books on Switzerland to recommend?

Five Reasons Switzerland is a Great Place to Have a Baby

The Frau has now been Die Mom for over seven months. Naturally, she was incredibly nervous about giving birth in a country where she had to learn the German equivalents for painkiller, cervical dilation, and please no episiotomy. But somehow, everything went smoothly. Somehow, the Frau survived. Somehow, Switzerland delivered by helping the Frau do the same.

You can hike around Lake Lungern with a stroller.

Needless to say, the rumors are true. Switzerland is a great place to have a baby. Here’s why:

One: Affordable care. 

Frustrated with expensive Swiss insurance policies? Have a baby and get your money’s worth. Swiss insurers are required to pay for almost all pregnancy-related doctor and hospital visits. So go ahead—lower your monthly payments and increase your deductible—your normal pregnancy-related check-ups and hospital bill won’t be coming out of it.

Two: Patience. 

Swiss midwives don’t rush you. Most encourage natural birth. But before you run back to the United States and demand a C-section, keep this in mind: a place that encourages natural birth (whether you do it or not) is actually a good thing because it means your labor is cared for with patience, not by people who just want you to hurry so they can go to lunch. Also, after a normal birth, you can stay in a Swiss hospital for up to five days as you recover and learn to care for your baby. You can even leave your baby at the hospital and go out to dinner, which the Frau highly recommends since after you leave the hospital with your new baby, dinner will probably become something you dream about, rather than eat.

Three: Midwives. 

You can have a midwife visit you at home after you return from the hospital. She comes to your house and makes sure you know what you’re doing (because if you’re like the Frau you won’t!). This is all also covered by Swiss insurance, which becomes even more of a blessing if you read books like Baby Catcher, and realize how U.S. insurers have basically made independent midwifery extinct in the United States. Be more prepared than the Frau, and choose your midwife before you give birth. 

Four: Free Money. 

Yes. You are hearing right. Beginning the month your child is born (so aim for the 30th!) you receive a minimum child benefit allowance of CHF 200 ($212) a month, which is added to your paycheck.  Unfortunately the Frau lives in Aargau, where they give you the bare minimum, but still, it helps make up for the fact that diapers and three times as expensive in Switzerland than they are in Germany. Even more amazing? You get your CHF 200 every month until your child turns 16. After your child turns 16, you are entitled to an education allowance of CHF 250 a month until your child is 25. If you’re luckier than the Frau, you also live in a canton that will give you a bonus of CHF 1,000, just for giving birth.

Five: Stroller-accessible Hiking Trails

You may not be able to get to your fourth-floor apartment without a struggle, but the woods? No problem. You’ll be sure to find plenty of stroller-accessible hikes in Switzerland. A few great Frau-tested hikes with strollers include the path around Lake Lungern, the wine trail near Maienfeld, and the wonderful walks included on this blog. Now if only the people riding the SBB/CFF/SSF without kids wouldn’t take up all the spots in the family zone, things would be perfect.

Have you had a baby in Switzerland? What has been good (or bad) about it for you?

English Book Reading in Zurich

Attention English-language book lovers in Switzerland. Your long awaited event is here: The authors in residence with the Zurich Writers Workshop will be giving a reading on Friday, May 18, from 8:15 to 10 p.m. at Orell Füssli The Bookshop in Zurich. Diccon Bewes will be reading from his Switzerland bestseller, Swiss Watching, and Sam North will be reading from The Old Country. The event is free (yes, something for free in Switzerland!) and open to the public. Light snacks will be served. The Frau hopes to see you there.

Now available at your Swiss grocery store

Now in your freezer section.

Now in your chip aisle.

Whether you enjoy these products, or just a good laugh, the Frau would like to leave you with three little words: En guete, mitenand.

A Little Swiss Aktion

Hurry! A big sale!

Maybe you've noticed. Nothing in Switzerland is big. Small apartments. Small aisles. Small country.


So naturally, sales are small as well. 


Three per cent. Eleven per cent. Thirteen per cent. 


The Frau has seen it all. And none of these discounts are usually high enough to persuade her American-trained "take 80% off already reduced prices at Kohl's" mind to rush over to take advantage of them (especially, when, like this one pictured, they come from furniture stores with SFr 15,000 couches). 


Where do these stores get these numbers? Imagine if you will, a Swiss meeting to decide the discount.


"Well, what about 10% off?"


"Good, but that's really only saving people the 8% tax plus 2%."


"Well, how about 15% off?"


"What?! That's making things too cheap! People won't buy them. They'll think something is wrong with the quality."


"Well, then. The magic number must be 13%!" 


"Perfect. Let's now let's get a little Aktion going on that."

Die Mom: The American Mom in Switzerland

When it comes to identity, The Frau is slowly becoming Die Mom. Or, to sound more professional, The Frau may decide she prefers the title of CMO: Chief Mädchen Officer. 


But who are we kidding. Once a Frau, always a Frau.


As one can imagine, having a baby abroad has opened many new doors for The Frau.  From her first Swiss hospital experience where she received homeopathic cheese treatments to her first Kinderkrippe experience where she pondered how “Krippe” rhymes with “Grippe” (especially after her daughter got her first cold last week).


Anyway, if you’d like to read more of The Frau’s observations on Die Motherhood, visit swissinfo.ch this week.


And if you have any questions about becoming a parent in Switzerland, feel free to leave a comment. Who knows. maybe The Frau will be inspired to write another Dear Frau column on the topic. She does have a whopping six and a half months of experience, after all.

Swiss Holiday Apartments

The key to an affordable and relaxing Swiss vacation? Book a holiday apartment (oh, just listen to how British the Frau is sounding lately!).

Bonus #1: You will be able to cook yourself and therefore avoid overpriced fried potatoes (the Frau just went to a restaurant in Wengen and somehow managed to spend over $50 for two plates of fried potatoes and $12 for a vintage 2012 1.5 liter of Coca-cola).

Bonus #2: You will never have to wonder: will the place be clean? Trust the Frau. Your Swiss apartment rental will be so shiny it would give even Mr. Clean a headache.

Bonus #3: You will avoid overpriced Swiss hotels that call themselves "budget" but charge CHF 200 a night and don't even throw in a bar of soap.

Below are four Swiss apartments in four great areas of Switzerland. The Frau has stayed in all of them. All are worthy of a stay, for various reasons, not the least that the Frau saved you the trouble of worrying if the place would be alright.

Wengen: Apartment Belvedere

4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, sleeps 9 (10 is pushing it)

Pluses: centrally located off the main drag, but in a quiet location, huge very un-Swiss refrigerator and freezer (stocked with ice!!), child friendly (two cots provided with no additional cost plus washing machine inside the apartment), comfortable beds, tons of English books, movies, games (place is owned by Brits, hence also the ice). We were allowed to stay past the 10 a.m. check-out time.

Minuses: no Internet connection (could be a plus depending on your crowd. Mine had iPod Touches and were constantly trying unsuccessfully to break into other networks), Sony PlayStation 2 (minus if you are a wife with a small baby who needs attention and Dad plays FIFA Soccer all day).

Oberwald: Zur Post

Third Floor Apartment

3 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, sleeps 6

Pluses: Directly on cross-country ski trail, right above tourist office, right across the street from grocery store, short walk from the train, very affordable (for Switzerland), really nice owners who will pick you and your million bags up from the train station if you have small baby and there is 20 feet of snow (and maybe even if there isn’t). We were allowed to stay an extra day since we were snowed out of the town at the beginning of our booking date.

Minuses: Some of the beds were old, the apartment hasn’t been remodeled for awhile (but it kind of adds to its charm), the only grocery store in the town is very pricey (think double the prices of food at Coop/Migros).

Orselina (Above Locarno): Casa Mari (See above for photo of the Frau on the balcony)

2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, sleeps 4

Pluses: Gorgeous views from dining room and balcony—a great place to watch the clouds when it rains for seven days straight. T.V. was broken (could be a minus depending if you like Italian programming). Beautiful garden and grilling area with palm trees and great views (see below, up huge hill).

Minuses: Up a huge hill and out of town. Nearest bus stop is still a pretty good uphill hike to apartment (not recommended when six months pregnant and carrying tons of luggage or groceries!). Locarno buses are more Italian than Swiss (i.e. never on time). Small grocery store nearby has terrible hours. No info about the area in the apartment.

Bettmeralp: Alpenglueck 39

Studio, sleeps 2

Pluses: Unobstructed mountain views, very comfortable fold-away bed, great price for two people, Internet included, cozy, when we booked through the tourist office, we got free lift tickets for the week (this was in the summer), great village with a Coop and easy access to Aletsch Glacier.

Minuses: down a fairly steep hill (not so fun with luggage—or blisters from hiking), small (but it's a studio so to be expected).

Anyone else have some great Swiss holiday apartments to recommend? The Frau will be looking for her next Fereinwohnung soon.

The worst logo the Frau has ever seen

No. This is not a joke (it is April 2, people). It's just bad design. This is the logo for the Baden City Festival. Or at least, a sad excuse for a logo.

It really bugs the Frau because it's everywhere in Baden. On bus wraps. On posters. In her mind (She works in advertising so please excuse her, she's a little strange and these kind of things drive her crazy all the time).

But never this crazy.

Help. Can someone please explain why you would hyphenate the word "Baden" as "Ba-

den?" After all, for German, it's a very short word and there is plenty of room to write the five letters in the second line of this logo.

The only saving grace for the Frau? They are not calling the festival "Badenfahrt" like they did in 2007. (If you're wondering, yes, they had t-shirts with "Baden" on the front and "Fahrt" on the back. The Frau regrets not buying one, but she barely survived the festival due to living directly above the rock and pop stage which featured "famous" Swiss rappers sharing their art until 5 a.m. for 10 days straight.)

And now the city wants her to buy a Stadtfest Ba-

den festival pin for CHF 40. With this logo on it. For the pleasure of not being able to sleep for 10 days. Oh, the joy that is Switzerland sometimes.

Is it just the Frau being overly sensitive? What do you think of this logo?

Just say no to six weeks of vacation

On March 11, the Swiss voted on a number of issues. The one I was most interested in? Would the Swiss vote in favor of six weeks of vacation for all? (Right now the Swiss have a mandatory four weeks of vacation).

Six weeks of vacation would have been a no-brainer "hell, yes" vote from a foreigner like me, but alas, my predictions were right: the Swiss voted "no" to six weeks of vacation. Why? As one Swiss colleague put it, "We don't want to be like the French."

Would you have voted for six weeks of vacation?

The Swiss Second-hand Scene

Nothing demonstrates the cost of living in a country more than the price of its used goods. If you consider the second-hand scene, Switzerland is clearly not a buyer's market. But it is definitely a seller's market. In fact, this Frau can sell used items in Switzerland for more than she paid for them new in the U.S.

Over on swissinfo.ch this week, the Frau discusses living in a country where flea market sellers won't bargain, where the Salvation Army equivalent has change for a thousand-franc bill, and where sellers on the Swiss version of Ebay start the bidding for their used strollers at SFr 350.

Have you been amazed by the Swiss second-hand scene?

The Cost of Living in Zurich

Even after living here almost six years, The Frau is still shocked by the price of certain items in Switzerland.

So, in honor of Zurich being rated the world’s most expensive place to live, she’d like to have a “No way! That costs what in Switzerland?” blog party.

Here are the Frau’s top ten “You’ve got to be kidding me” shopping moments:

1. CHF 12,90 ($13.99) for a small container of ice cream? Quite the champagne price for vanilla, don't you think?
2. CHF 39,90 ($43.27) for 116 Pampers…oh, wait, this is the SALE PRICE (Originally CHF 59,90–$64.96)?
3. CHF 39,90 ($43.27) for laundry detergent?
4. CHF 3 ($3.25) for a dinner roll that’s in a basket on the table even though my entrée costs CHF 29 ($31.44)?
5. CHF 5,90 ($6.39) for a miniscule bag of nacho chips?
6. CHF 1,19 ($1.29) a minute to call customer service for the honor of giving them my business?
7. CHF 1600 ($1,735) for a baby stroller?
8. CHF 500 ($542) for a USED baby stroller?
9. CHF 159 ($172) for a nursing pillow?
10. CHF 35 ($38) for two foot-long Subway sandwiches (no chips or drinks), but a real deal considering: CHF 35 ($38) for a club sandwich (side of veggies costs more).

Join the pricing party! Leave a comment about your best sticker-shocking moment in Switzerland. And long live border shopping.

Home Makeover, the Expat Edition!

Oh, what the Frau would do for a home makeover. As M gets bigger and bigger, her little Swiss apartment gets smaller and smaller. Well, there's a new show coming to North America--and it's going to feature expats living abroad who need their apartments or houses fixed up. Sadly, the Frau does not quality for the new home makeover show since she has been in Switzerland way past her expiration date. So she has been asked to recruit interested expats for a new home makeover show that will feature Americans and Canadians living abroad.

See if you qualify:

1. Are you American or Canadian?
2. Have you moved abroad in the last six months or plan on moving abroad soon?
3. Do you need help decorating? Are you trying to preserve the decor of your homeland or trying to incorporate a little local flair? Or do you just need help fitting your big American furniture in a tiny Euro flat?

Important note: The show is open to renters as well as homeowners.

If you’re interested in being on the show or want more information, please contact the Frau. Danke.

Study Fiction or Travel Writing in Zurich

The Frau always gets a bit excited about writing workshops, especially when they’re in Zurich and she’s in charge of organizing them.

Anyone want to second my enthusiasm? Because for the third time in two years, there will actually be something in Zurich other than bankers, lawyers, and ladies who lunch. (All kidding aside, Zurich is a beautiful city and worth seeing--here's a Zurich travel article written by yours truly that proves it.)

Anyhow, this spring, the Zurich Writers Workshop will feature two British authors: award-winning novelist Sam North (The Old Country) and Switzerland’s bestselling English-language author, Diccon Bewes (Swiss Watching). The workshop will take place May 18-20, 2012.

The workshop will be divided into two sections, fiction and travel writing/non-fiction. Participants will receive nine hours of instruction in their chosen area, an author reading and apéro at Zurich’s English-language bookstore, Orell Füssli The Bookshop, as well as the option to participate in a literary dinner at Europe’s oldest vegetarian restaurant, Hiltl.

Registration opened today. Space is limited to 15 participants in each section and is filled on a first-come, first-served basis. You can register at www.zurichwritersworkshop.com. Click here to sign up for the mailing list.

Hope to see you in Zurich this spring. And please spread the word!

The Price of Free, Part I

The airline industry has an interesting way of defining free: by charging you for it.

In fact, the airline industry complicates “free” so much, that it’s going to take a few One Big Yodel posts to cover just how complicated free can be.

Let’s start with fares for infants, since Ms. One Big Yodel now has one.

Supposedly, infants (defined by children under two) fly free. I decided to test this theory by booking a flight.

Here’s what “free” means, defined by two different airlines for the same round-trip flight:

ZURICH to CHICAGO on SWISS

Infant price:

-Fare CHF 44

-Fuel Surcharge CHF 328

-Airport taxes CHF 52

TOTAL “FREE” FARE: CHF 424 ($460)

ZURICH to CHICAGO on UNITED (same code-share flight as SWISS)

Infant price: $106.40 (includes one 5-minute dropped call, one 45-minute phone call with a non-native English speaker, and plenty of bad on-hold music to determine)

TOTAL “FREE” FARE: $106.40

Conclusion:

1) As we all knew, nothing is free in Switzerland

2) The USA is no longer the Land of the Free but is still much cheaper than Switzerland

3) The only thing free about the infant ticket was the headache it took to figure out the best price

Have you been amazed by the airline industry recently?

Baby Bureaucracy

The Frau has been writing a lot. But not on this blog. Because having a baby is a lot of work. Having a baby abroad is even more work–at least when it comes to paperwork.

There are Swiss and international birth certificates, foreigner cards, passport applications, reports of birth abroad and social security forms, plus photos required for several of these forms, not to mention in-person visits to the U.S. Consulate office in Zurich, the migration department in Aarau, and the city office in Baden. All with a baby who can't even hold her head up yet and a mother who wishes she could put hers down on a big, fat pillow.

Oh, and even more interesting—the price you pay for all this bureaucracy:

Swiss and international birth certificates: CHF 30 each, we ordered three and were also charged CHF 1 for shipping.

Swiss foreigner card for baby (side note: somehow, the Swiss are able to even make a two-month-old look criminal in the photo), valid for four months until it must be renewed again, along with the parents’ cards: CHF 143

Passport photos: Three for CHF 10 (ordered from paspic.com—I highly recommend this site for any passport photo)

U.S. passport/birth reports/social security card: CHF 184

TOTAL: CHF 428 (free headaches included)

Just say cheese

In the German-speaking part of Switzerland, it is traditional to watch "Dinner for One" on TV on New Year's Eve. Our Swiss neighbor does it every year. Don't ask me why a film in English is a German tradition, but it is. She even watches it in the original English.

Speaking of dinner, I've had cheese for dinner for the last two nights. Thursday night, we had fondue at our neighbor's and there was so much cheese in the pot that it broke. Then, last night, we had raclette. Six people ate 28 pieces of the stuff. The result? According to Mr. One Big Yodel, "I have such a big ball of cheese in my stomach that it is radiating heat like the sun."

What a way to celebrate the season in Switzerland.

Alles Gute zum neuen Jahr from One Big Yodel. Prost.

Five cheap things to do in Switzerland this season

This is Ms. One Big Yodel's first Christmas in Switzerland. Instead of going home to visit family, her family is coming to her. Unfortunately for many visitors to Switzerland these days, it has become even more expensive than it was in the past. But here are a few things you can enjoy in Switzerland for (gasp!) cheap.

1. Eat marroni. Nothing says Christmas in Switzerland quite like a hot nut, or more specifically, a roasted chestnut. They are typically sold by street vendors in most Swiss villages.

2. Walk in the winter wonderland. Almost everywhere in the country, it's a great time of year to enjoy the weather, nordic walking style. In Baden, for example, there is a candle-lit evening hike up at Baldegg on December 27 that includes a plate of pasta after the 5k hike.

3. Ice skate. Many Swiss villages have an ice skating rink. For as little as CHF 5, you can have an afternoon of entertainment.

4. Make your own glass ornament. At Hergiswil Glassworks near Lucerne, visitors can make their own glass ornament after their CHF 5 tour of the factory (but be sure to check dates, it is closed part of the month). Or if glassmaking's not your thing, myswitzerland.com has put together a list of places, including various cheese dairies, which offer free admission.

5. Do nothing. Enjoy the holiday in traditional European fashion by doing nothing but relaxing. Most offices are businesses are closed the week after Christmas, a tradition worth starting in the rest of the world too.

What do you like to do to celebrate the season?

10 Things Expats Love to do on Facebook

Ok, expats. It's time to sum up our online habits. Below are 10 things expats love to do on Facebook:

1. Brag about the trip they’ve just gone on.

2. Brag about the trip they are going on tomorrow.

3. Write their status in another language.

4. Make fun of bad English.

5. Insert foreign words into English sentences.

6. Post travel list challenges.

7. Exclaim how jet lagged they are.

8. Exclaim about how cheap everything is in the U.S.

9. Post photos of exotic locations, view from office or apartment included.

10. Use airport abbreviations in their status updates, the more obscure the better.

Are you guilty of any of these? And is there anything I've forgotten?

Shop online like it's 1989!

A few weeks ago, I wrote about five Swiss websites that could use a makeover. But this Swiss online experience perhaps tops it all:

My husband went to a photo workshop in Baden over the weekend and received a coupon for 15% off his online order at ProFot.

So naturally he wanted to shop since he needs very little incentive to buy photo gear.

He filled his virtual shopping cart and went to check out and realized something strange: there was no redemption code on the coupon.

Upon further investigation (i.e. contacting the company), he learned that to redeem the coupon, he had to either scan it and email it to them or get this...snail mail it to the headquarters in Baar.

Yes. Thanks to you, ProFot, people in Switzerland really can shop online like it's 1989.

Have you had any strange shopping experiences in Switzerland?

Five Great Books About Life Abroad

There are a lot of books about life abroad out there.

But many of them romanticize the experience rather than tell the real truth: life abroad is hard. Contrary to popular belief, the world is not just a place for Westerners to eat, pray, or fix up a holiday home. It can also be a place where a person with a Master’s degree doesn’t even know the word for beef.

Below are five books that paint a more accurate portrait of life abroad when you’re really, really living it for the long haul. If you're looking for a Christmas gift, I recommend any of these. And if you order them by clicking on the links included in this blog, you’ll help support One Big Yodel as well.

Me Talk Pretty One Day

By David Sedaris

Ruthless French teachers. Fears of speaking a new language so strong you wish meat were sold in vending machines. Trying to explain a holiday such as Easter in another language (Jesus shaves, anyone?). In these stories and more, Sedaris pretty much sums up the difficulties (and surprising rewards) that come from trying to make a life in another country. C'est bon.

Undress Me in the Temple of Heaven

By Susan Jane Gilman

A recent college graduate, Susan Jane Gilman was ready to conquer the world. She had romantic visions of backpacking abroad. But then she went to China, which in the 80s, had been open to tourists for about ten minutes. Between ant infested hotel rooms, broken down vehicles, and Chinese men that don’t know a word of English but can recite John Denver songs by heart, Gilman proves that “real travel” doesn’t get much more real than this.

Tales from the Expat Harem

Edited by Anastasia M. Ashman and Jennifer Eaton Goekmen

Before I traveled to Turkey last year, I read this collection of 32 essays about women who live there. One of my favorite essays was about a Christian evangelist from Iowa who was rescued by the very Turkish souls she hoped to save. Gotta love the theme: An American goes out to save the world and the world saves her instead.

Moonlight in Odessa

By Janet Skeslien Charles

What happens when a woman from the Ukraine becomes so tempted by the American dream that she becomes a mail order bride in order to attain it? This novel, written by an American expat living in Paris, has the answers. See the United States through the eyes of a Ukrainian as the main character, Daria, goes from being wide-eyed over things like garage door openers to finally becoming skeptical of the very materialism she dreamed of obtaining.

Kabul Beauty School

By Deborah Rodriguez

This is the true story of an American woman who goes to Afghanistan to teach women how to open their own beauty parlors. But teaching becomes interwoven with living as her students share their stories with her. From the woman who faked her virginity on her wedding night to the 12-year-old bride who was sold to repay family debts, this is an interesting look into the lives of Afghan women and also the affect they have on the American woman who came to empower them.

What are your favorite books about life or travel abroad?