Dear Frau: Should I Move to Zurich?

Welcome to the latest edition of Dear Frau. It's kind of like Dear Abby, except with an international twist. If you have a question about life in Switzerland, be sure to contact the Frau and maybe your little Frage will be in the next Dear Frau column. And as always, the Frau does not have all the answers and welcomes your solutions to these questions in the comments section.

Dear Frau,

My company would like me to relocate to Zurich. Whilst I am experiencing ‘London Fatigue’ my vision certainly did not include this city. Not even in my periphery.

I speak no German but some French if this might help? Whilst many seem concerned with moving with spouses, family housing and children’s schools my concern is me, myself and I. (Not that I am altogether selfish, truly!) So what it’s like as a single woman living in Zurich? Any recommendations for best areas to live? (Near or in the city, a fruit/veggie market & coffee shop if possible, a gym and green space to go for a run.) And I will miss my gaggle of girlfriends and would be great to meet some friends in Zurich, suggestions for groups to join? I daren’t ask about dating.

Lastly, I have lived abroad before and travel fairly often so know it’s important to be open – but have heard more negatives than positive about Zurich. Cold people, weather, rigid, unwelcoming, etc. that I am needless a touch wary. Would really appreciate a response.

Best,

Single in the City

Dear Single in the City,

You’ve got a lot of questions here, so let’s address one at a time.

Will French help? Um, probably as much as English or German will help. The problem with living in Zurich is that Swiss people in Zurich don’t speak French, German, or English. They speak Züri-deutsch, which is really another language entirely. Züri-deutsch is a Swiss German dialect. Swiss German is a secret language, which makes sense for a country with secret bank accounts, but doesn’t make much sense to expats, who try to learn German and then realize they still can’t understand anything without crossing the border.

What’s it like to be a single woman in Zurich? The Frau will just say this: Not only does “Frau” mean “woman” but it also means “wife.” Clearly Fraus are not meant to be single in German-speaking worlds. But look on the bright side—you won’t be taxed extra for being a married woman that works (yes, this is a fact of life in Switzerland. Please tell me why no one is protesting discrimination?).

To be honest, the Frau does not really know what it is like to be a single gal in Zurich, but she has friends that do know and is hoping they will comment here. She does know that one of her single friends dated many Swiss men and found them all boring. I guess these guys didn’t talk much and the Frau’s friend always felt like she had to lead the conversation. But the world has a lot of boring guys. The Frau’s friend may have just been unlucky. The Frau herself has a couple of Swiss guy friends that are so far from boring that they sing Frank Sinatra tunes in strip clubs to earn extra vacation days at their Zurich ad agency. Yes.

Any recommendations on where to live? The short answer: wherever you can find an apartment. Zurich has less than 1% vacancy so it's hard to be picky. The long answer: read Where should I live in Zurich? Be sure to check the comments. And don’t worry about green space and a place to jog. Foot trails in Switzerland are literally outside every doorstep.

Any suggestions for groups to join? I would start a blog and join the Swiss Expat Bloggers. That’s how I’ve met a lot of people. Blog writers tend to be younger and without children for the obvious reason that they have time to blog. There are plenty of other organizations in Zurich for expats, but these tend to be filled with wives of CEOs who have 2.5 kids, eat $50 lunches every day, and spend their time shopping at Prada. There’s nothing wrong with shopping at Prada. If you like purses.

Cold people, weather, rigid, unwelcoming? Cold people: yes, they can seem that way as they don’t usually smile or make small talk with strangers. But if you can get past their hard exterior the Swiss people are generally kind and loyal. Weather: you’ll be fine with it. You come from London. Rigid: yes, do not put your garbage out a minute too early or you will pay the price. Unwelcoming: yes, there is a lot of xenophobia in Switzerland. On one hand, can you blame the Swiss when 20% of their country is foreign? On the other hand, the discrimination against certain kinds of foreigners is outright embarrassing for a country that prides itself on being neutral. The United Nations agrees.

Ok, yodelers, the Frau does not have all the answers. Let’s help Single in the City make a wise decision. Should she move to Zurich? The Frau thinks she should. She thinks there's a reason so many expats come to Switzerland and then never leave. What do you say?

Gardening in High Heels

I am back at Swiss gardening boot camp. Yes. My 75-year-old Swiss neighbor is doing my gardening in her high heels. Again.

Yesterday, she knocked on the door to ask my husband to help her with driving directions but since we all know she has a GPS, this was really just an excuse to get inside our apartment.

Anyhow, after getting the directions, she went onto our balcony and analyzed every bush and plant that needed weeding and every concrete planter that needed shining. Then she started yanking out one of our dead plants by its roots.

“I love doing this,” she said, grabbing at the dead evergreen while never once wobbling on her high heels.

We are now borrowing (not out of choice, mind you) her pressure washer, her hand held weed wacker, and her little garden saw.

Her tools are better than ours, we are told.

Discovering Who I Am

Does living abroad help define you as a person? Before I moved abroad I defined myself like this: one-quarter Italian, one-quarter Polish, one-fifth English, 12.5 percent Danish, 10.5 percent Swedish and seven percent German. That was me. Really.

But while I could easily pass for a European with my name alone, there was, unfortunately, the rest of me. My language options were English or English; I thought all cheese was bright orange; and I wore things like sweatpants – in public.

I had a lot to learn. It wasn't until one day, a few months after moving to Switzerland, that I looked down at my Nikes as I was standing among a sea of stilettos and realized something: I was an American.

Happy 4th of July.

To read more, check out my essay, Hello Heritage, in Swiss News this month.

Only in Switzerland, Part II

Front page news. Yes.

For Only in Switzerland, Part I, click here.

American Spirit in Switzerland

The American team won a game. Not lost. Not tied. Won. Yes. So to honor this great accomplishment, my husband and I set up our American flag on a tripod to give Switzerland a little Yankee spirit.

The whole world feels like it's on some strange vacation. Business people fill the streets (and bars) by 16.00. There's a strange phenomenon going around known as World Cup voice (i.e. it means you have no voice). And you can tell who is winning by not even watching the games due to the screams in the streets.

Have you been playing hooky from work? I mean, have you been watching the World Cup?

Anything for Sun (and Sales)

When you live under a gigantic cloud (uh, I mean, in Switzerland), the summer can be stressful. Last week, the sun came out for maybe three hours. And when it did, I was desperate.

“Let’s go for a bike ride,” I told my husband on Friday night, when the sun decided to come out at 7 p.m. after an entire week of rain.

“Now?” he asked. We had just eaten dinner.

“Now,” I said, pointing at the blue sky, “Hurry.”

When you only see a few hours of sunshine a week, you have to get outside when it shines. Fast.

It’s kind of a stressful way to live, never knowing when your next bit of sun will shine.

The Swiss sun makes me drop everything I’m doing when it comes out. Speaking of dropping everything, Migros announced a 10% off sale last Thursday to celebrate the Swiss win. I hurried there. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think I was about to save hundreds rather than CHF 10.

Yep. That’s when you know you’re becoming Swiss: you’ll drop everything for a little sun. Or a 10% off sale.

Dear Frau: Save me from the smoke!

Welcome to the latest edition of Dear Frau. It's kind of like Dear Abby, except with an international twist. If you have a question about life in Switzerland, be sure to contact the Frau and maybe your little Frage will be in the next Dear Frau column. And as always, the Frau does not have all the answers and welcomes your solutions to these questions in the comments section.

Dear Frau,

I lovvvvvvvvvvvvve Switzerland. It's beautiful, safe, and clean. But why is it that a person cannot walk down the streets of Bern or Zurich without having cigarette smoke sprayed in their face. I am constantly bombarded by the vile smoke while eating at outdoor cafes, walking down the street, and waiting for a train. What do you suggest I do or say the next time this occurs?

Sincerely,

An American Who Lives in and Loves Switzerland

Dear An American Who Lives in and Loves Switzerland,

The Frau is also fed up with living in a cloud of smoke. Or is that fog?

Sometimes it’s hard to tell in Switzerland. The sky is always gray no matter what.

Cough.

That’s how you tell.

Anyway, the Frau has had clothes ruined, had to change offices, and endured red eyes all so a bunch of Swiss people could voluntarily give themselves cancer.

Even though we Americans learned at a young age that the mere sight of a cigarette might kills us, the Swiss don’t care because despite their habits, they have the fourth longest life expectancy in the world.

Maybe you’ve seen some of them hiking the Alps in that not-so-fresh-anymore mountain air. One of them was once my father-in-law. Sorry. He wanted to be more Swiss.

Anyhow, let’s get to the point. Your question was what to do or say. The Frau doesn’t really know what to tell you because anyone that buys something that clearly says “it kills” on the package is probably beyond help. But here are some things the Frau and her friends have done for the cause, including the various Swiss responses:

Test One: Put up an ad campaign in her Zurich office showing images of non-smokers’ lungs vs. smokers’ lungs with labels matching appropriate employee names with the images.

Response from chain-smoking boss: Laugh. Cough. Laugh. Nice try, but that crap doesn’t work with me. Puff.

The Frau’s response: Fine, she wants a new office.

Test Two: A Swiss friend asked a man smoking a cigar at a soccer game in Basel to please put it out so the Frau could sing the American national anthem without choking.

Response from cigar smoker: Ok. Puff. Put out cigar under seat.

The Frau’s response: The most she’s ever cheered at a soccer game.

Test Three: Gave dirty look to man smoking in train car.

Response: He went out into the hallway and continued smoking there.

The Frau’s response: Bathroom break. The air smelled better there.

Other ways to protest when you get smoked on: Fart. Spit. Spray air freshener.

Fight back, non-smokers, fight back.

The good news is that it has now been many decades since science proved that smoking sucks, so now that an extremely long time has passed, some restaurants and bars in Switzerland are finally listening. Change is good, Switzerland. Really.

And look on the bright side. Those cigarette butts give the street sweeper a reason for being. He needs one, poor guy.

How do you respond to all this Swiss smoke?

Want a C Permit? Take that test.

After five years living in Switzerland on a B permit, most Americans and Canadians can apply for a C permit, which has certain benefits like 1) it’s good for an entire five years instead of just one and 2) it makes it easier to get a job and freelance like a normal person.

But here’s the catch: you must prove you have made an effort to integrate in order to receive the C permit. Never mind if you speak fluent Deutsch at the Migration Office, as we learned before, they are not paying attention to your Deutsch. They are looking at...um. Yeah.

So it doesn’t matter if you’re fluent, it matters if you have a piece of paper. After all, we are in Switzerland, people. Logic isn’t important. Paper is. The more expensive the paper, the better.

That’s why I’m going to spend over CHF 300 to take the Goethe Zertifikat B2 test. Because one of my German-speaking American friends was just refused a C permit despite logic. A fluent German speaker who had lived here for five years on a B permit, she must now wait another two years to apply for her C permit because she was ohne test certification when she filled out the paperwork.

Moral of the story: If you’ve been taking a German class (or are just naturally good at German) and have reached at least the A2 level, take the appropriate test in case you overstay your expected Swiss residency and want that C permit, after all. The next Geothe tests are in August/September and you must register for them by July 15. At minimum, you must pass the A2 test or higher to prove proficiency as far as the permit is concerned. Real life is another story.

Note: For a C permit, you must prove language proficiency of the language spoken in your canton. If you live in Zurich and have French certification, that’s great, but it doesn’t matter on your permit application. C'est la vie.

The 10 Steps of Learning German in Switzerland

There is a clear progression of how English-speaking foreigners deal with learning German in Switzerland. It goes kind of like this:

1. Grüezi. Sprechen Sie Englisch?

2. I'm so excited to learn a new language!

3. I'll be fluent in no time!

4. Hallo, Schweiz! Der, Die, Das, ich kenne etwas!

5. Was? There is also a Den, Dem, Denen, and Des? Echt?

6. Now I'm too scared to talk. I'll get it all wrong.

7. Fine I'll talk. I'll just turn every der, die, das, den, dem, denen, and des into a "duh".

8. I can talk now! I'll go to the flea market and show off! Was kostet das? Was? What is this "foyf" you're saying? I know my numbers, dang it!

9. Crap. I took three years of German and still understand nothing on the streets in Switzerland.

10. Grüezi. Sprechen Sie Englisch?

The Frau is on Vacation

It's a holiday in Baden today (and Baden only!) and The Frau is going to make the most of it. So she will not be answering questions this week, but be sure to contact her if you've got a little Frage that's just begging to be answered. She's back in business next week with her Dear Frau column. Ja.

In the absence of advice, The Frau wanted to update you on a few things she's written in the last month that she thinks you might like (remember she's biased, of course):

Switzerland: A Scary Place to Call Home (Is the Swiss People's Party ruining the country for the very people it's trying to protect?)

Great Mountain Hikes in Switzerland (Looking for a little sun? The Frau is! It's time to go up a few thousand feet.)

The Two Most Popular Expat Locations (Think about it...where do you live most of the time?)

The Search for Small Talk (The Frau wishes she could stuff small talk in her suitcase along with all that Mac & Cheese. But alas.)

A Year in the Merde author Stephen Clarke talks about how to sell your Expat novel as well as the sad state of cheddar sandwiches in the UK.

How about you? Read anything good on expat life or Switzerland lately? Leave a comment and/or a link. As usual, shameless self-promotion is encouraged.

Why does it take so long to get your permit?

As an American in Switzerland, every year, I must renew my B-permit in order to live here legally. In 2008, it took over four months to get my permit renewed. That's a third of a year. Yes. To process one sheet of paper. Other times, it's taken two months, sometimes three. This year is still to be determined, but it's a snail's pace so far--I've already waited over a month.

Because of these amazing lengths of time, I have often wondered what exactly the Migration department in Canton Aargau does with my renewal paper.

Are they making complex origami figures with my paper and displaying it at the Kunsthaus? Are they doing experiments in dust collection? Or are they just too busy looking at porn to bother with my application for B-permit renewal?

Well, now it's official. We can blame the porn.

At least in Zurich, porn is one of the reasons given for problems with the Migration department. Zurich-based solicitor Ueli Vogel-Etienne has cataloged a list of failures on behalf of the migration department: disregard of working hours, routine circulation of porn via the department's email system, staff surfing the Internet during working hours, office workers not ever reachable during office hours. Wow. Switzerland isn't innocent, after all.

As far as I know, Canton Aargau's migration department's efficiency has yet to be investigated. But since I've already waited over a month for my permit to be renewed so far this year, I would recommend a little Aktion on Mr. Vogel-Etinenne's behalf.

After all, it just doesn't make sense that when a Swiss train is one minute late it is cause for a heart attack, but when a foreigner's piece of paper delayed for four months, it is no big deal.

How long have you waited for your permit to be renewed?

Dear Frau: This weather sucks!

Welcome to the latest edition of Dear Frau. It's kind of like Dear Abby, except with an international twist. If you have a question about life in Switzerland, be sure to contact the Frau and maybe you're little Frage will be in the next Dear Frau column. And as always, the Frau does not have all the answers and welcomes your solutions to these questions in the comments section.

Dear Frau,

What is up with the weather in Zurich? It rains almost every day. And what the heck is there to do when it’s Sunday or a holiday and all the stores are closed and the weather still sucks?

Danke,

Soggy in Zurich

Dear Soggy in Zurich,

Look on the bright side. At least you don’t live in Bergen, Norway, where it rains about 235 days a year.

Zurich does get more rain than many European cities and The Frau has a friend that got so depressed by the gray skies that she bought a sun lamp.

It can be frustrating to watch, but the Swiss are so used to bad weather, they don’t even seem to notice it (maybe you’ve seen them sitting outside in cafes when it’s 5 degrees outside). The Frau’s neighbor even goes flowering picking in the rain.

Anyhow, if you’re the type that would like to stay dry, here are some Sunday and holiday suggestions for making all this rain tolerable:

Visit the Frau’s recommended Swiss museums worth your time and money

Read a good book. The Frau has collected a list of especially good reads for expats.

Go to the spa or to your nearest indoor pool.

Go to a movie. Movies listed as E/d/f, for example, are in English with German and French subtitles. Remember that movies here come with an intermission. No, the film is not broken even though they may have cut Tom Cruise off mid-sentence. It’s just time to get a beer.

Read a good blog. Here’s a new arrival to the Swiss Blogging community: Expat CH by Bill Harby. Or check out the latest on swissinfo's Write On blog. They change writers here every two months, so you'll always get a fresh take on things.

Take a cooking class. For example, Hiltl often offers Sunday classes.

Plan your next vacation. Ideally to Dry Valley in Antarctica.

Ok, the Frau is running out of ideas. Anyone else want to chime in to help Soggy in Zurich? What do you do when it rains on Sunday?

Zurich’s Opposite

After conducting much research (uh, I mean travel) in Europe over the last four years, I have come to the conclusion that Zurich’s sister city should be Copenhagen. Copenhagen appears to be the complete opposite of Zurich, so they would compliment each other nicely.

People in Copenhagen:

Wear sweats

Wear bright colors

Wear tank tops and shorts

Go barefoot

Shop on Sundays

Smile

Make small talk with foreigners (and with each other)

Wait 15 minutes for a bus before checking their watches

Anyone else have a take on what city is Zurich’s opposite?

Seven Things That I Should Clean

Living in Switzerland has redefined my definition of clean. In fact, after living in Switzerland, it's hard to travel anywhere at all without being utterly disgusted by so much lurking filth.

For instance, will you just look at this pollen. What nerve to just fling itself down on a Swiss street. It will be sorry. The street sweeper can't be far.

Anyhow, here is a list of seven things I never considered "dirty" before I moved here:

1. Orchid leaves (use face oil to really make shine)
2. My gutter (should have drinkable water in it)
3. Public trash can (you have seen these being shined in Zurich, haven't you?)
4. Sink spout (my relocation agent was disappointed that mine weren't cleaner before I moved in)
5. Washing machine soap dispenser (soak in vinegar for maximum gleam)
6. Planter (they get dusty without rain–no problem with that this spring!)
7. Concrete (for maximum shine, borrow my neighbor's Hochdruckreiniger. She wants you to use it.)

Oh, Switzerland. How much you've taught me.

How has Switzerland redefined your definition of dirt?

Have Your Fondue and Be Fit Too

Guest post by Noah of Noprobo.com.

Many years ago I resolved to live a fit life. Exercise, sweat wicking t-shirts, brightly colored drinks… all that good stuff. So I felt fortunate moving to Switzerland; it's one of the healthiest countries in the world.

Then came the shock.

-Gym memberships: 95 CHF per month.
-Exercise equipment: Underpowered, overpriced.
-Energy gels: 3.20 CHF each, compared to $0.90 back home.

These are the meat and potatoes of amateur athletes! Yet they weren’t just a bit more expensive here; they were prohibitively expensive. All of a sudden, Switzerland felt like a giant beer gut.

So I asked a friend – against all accounts I made Swiss friends quickly – how Switzerland is so healthy. "Is it because of exercise?"

"That, and the food."

"Fondue?" I teased.

But the more I thought about it the more it made sense. “Bad” food is the exception, not the norm. Many Swiss live healthy lifestyles by default. Trying to shoehorn my idea of fitness into theirs was where I went wrong. I wasn't doing as the Romans do.

With that in mind, here's how to get/stay in shape, the Swiss way:

• Eat well: Junk food isn't a staple of the traditional Swiss diet. Trips to the farmers’ market and home-cooked meals are.
• Forget the gym: Choose an activity you see Swiss people doing. Biking, tennis, soccer, skiing. There are great deals on used equipment at pawn shops, Local.ch and Ricardo.ch.
• Forget exercise equipment: Pieces of machinery like recumbent bikes and treadmills are too big and noisy to be compatible with this country.
• Order abroad: If you really need fitness foods, buy from abroad and swallow the associated fees. It's cheaper.
• Get outside: There's an excellent selection of trails and activities set across an awe-inspiring landscape. Take advantage of it!
• Use those Sundays: I used to wonder where everyone was on Sundays. They're skiing, they're hiking, they're biking.

There you have it: how to be fit in the land of cheese and chocolate. Have anything to add? How do you stay in shape in Switzerland?

Noah Arobo lost over 50 lbs despite his love of raclette and rösti. Read more at Noprobo.com.

Dear Frau: How to find a Job in Switzerland?

Welcome to another edition of Dear Frau. It's kind of like Dear Abby except with an international twist. If you have a question about life in Switzerland, be sure to contact the Frau and maybe your little Frage will be in the next edition of Dear Frau.

Dear Frau,

I have been looking for a job in Switzerland and am confused by what the (m/w) means after the job title in the listing. And what is up with the age thing. I’m 38 and some of the jobs I’m interested in give an age range of 25-35. Am I over the hill already?

Thanks,

Job Seeker

Dear Job Seeker,

Looking for a job in Switzerland can be tough. The Frau can relate. She once had an interview in Switzerland that involved reading in German, reading in French, writing in English, and naming the acronyms of Swiss political parties. Ja.

If all the language requirements weren’t tough enough, there’s also sexual and age discrimination to be concerned with. In this country, the discrimination is right there in the job listing: in Switzerland, jobs are still listed as whether they are for males or females or both. If you see (m/w), that means both men and women are welcome to apply. And the age thing, yeah, since you have to put your birth date on your resume, there’s no way to pretend you’re 35 when you’re really 38. And many jobs do specify an age range up front. This sometimes also has to do with the pay level. In general, older people get paid more in Switzerland.

The Frau doesn’t necessarily enjoy all of this upfront discrimination in the Swiss job listings, but she’s come to accept it. Because even though some countries, like the United States, would never be so openly discriminatory in a job listing, it doesn’t mean that the reality is any different behind the scenes. At least in Switzerland, you won’t be wasting your time at an interview if you don’t really fit the job specs.

Anyhow, the Frau wishes you luck with your job search. If you’re looking for more information or advice on how to find a job in Switzerland, check out a few more posts from the Frau:

How to Find a Job in Switzerland
10 online resources for finding a job in Switzerland. Included are sites especially for those in finance, communications, academia, as well as general job searching sites.

Trailing Spouse Advice on Finding a Job in Switzerland
How the Frau found her Swiss job and tips for finding yours. Hint: if you can, start looking before you move.

How to Land an International Assignment
You're Young. You're starting your career. You want to move abroad. What to do first.

Does anyone else have advice on how to find a job in Switzerland? What do you think of the open discrimination in Swiss job listings?

Tax-free shopping: not worth the trouble

I have long lamented my laziness in requesting my tax back from purchases made in other countries. So in March, while on a weekend trip to Barcelona, I decided to do something about that. When paying for my Spanish fashions, I requested a Global Refund. It seemed easy enough.

1. Fill out the Global Refund receipt that the store gives you.

2. Take it to the tourist office.

3. Get your tax back in cash.

4. Get the receipt stamped upon your departure.

5. Mail it back in and hope you filled it all out right.

Anyhow. I spent 138 Euros on clothes, got 17 Euros or so back in cash after standing in line at the tourist office for a half hour, ran around the Barcelona airport almost missing my flight for the silly stamp (it is my impression that the tax-free customs guys hide on purpose--you'll see why below), and then spent 2,40 CHF on a stamp to mail the thing back to Spain. Worth it? No way.

Time is money. And unless you're spending thousands of dollars in a foreign country, forget the tax-free thing. It's just not worth the time and stress.

And here's the catch: my sister paid it. If you fail to get your receipt stamped at customs and fail to send it back after the fact, you are charged. A lot. My sister got a nice $25 charge on her credit card two months after the fact, even though she originally only got 10 Euros of tax money back. So the whole transaction ended up with her having a loss of about $15. (Spain told her Switzerland would stamp her receipt before her flight back to the U.S., but Switzerland wouldn't stamp it because they are not in the EU.)

Lesson: tax free, don't bother. Unless you are spending at least $1000 and are 100% sure of the rules and how to follow through--especially if your trip involves multiple countries that may or may not be in the EU.

Do you have experience with tax-free shopping? Do you think the time is worth the money?

Dear Frau: Where should I live in Zurich?

Welcome to another edition of Dear Frau. It's kind of like Dear Abby, except with an international twist. If you have a question, be sure to contact the Frau and maybe your little Frage will be in the next Dear Frau.

Dear Frau,

I'm moving to Zurich with my husband in August. My husband and I will be working in Adliswil (very close to Kreis 2). If you have any tips on cool areas to look for an apartment that would be very handy.

Danke,

Homeless

Dear Homeless,

Wilkommen! First off, it’s great that you are looking ahead of time. Finding an apartment in Zurich is not for the faint of heart, as vacancy is usually less than 1% and it’s not unusual for 600 people to show up for one little apartment open house.

Never fear. You will find something. Everyone does. Homelessness is not a problem in der Schweiz.

As far as “cool areas” in Zurich, that depends on your definition of cool. The Frau doesn’t pretend to be cool, after all, she lives in Canton Aargau, 15 whole miles west of Zurich (can you imagine living that far out?!), and goes around town with a little orange IKEA cart filled with plastic bottles.

But some people she knows are cool so here’s what she’s learned:

If cool means “exclusive,” like it does for one of The Frau's Swiss friends, you’ll want to be seen in Zurich’s expensive Seefeld area, which is on the lake on the “gold coast” side.

If cool means “old money”, like it does for many Zurichers, you’ll want to be seen on what is known as the Zürichberg, the area up on the hill near the zoo where many mansions have views of the city and the lake.

If cool means “walk to work”, then The Frau would live in Kreis 2, which you mention is close to your place of employment. It’s on the “silver coast”, but only Swiss people care about all that gold anyway.

If cool means trendy, The Frau would live in the industrial area turned art district, Kreis 5.

If cool means living in the old town, The Frau would live in Kreis 1/Niederdorf. (Note: old towns usually come with church bells and clock towers. The Frau speaks from experience).

If cool means living with a bunch of French expats, then check out Dübendorf. You wouldn't know it by the name, but this place is jumping with Frenchies. Oui, oui.

For more info on districts in Zurich, click here.

Ok Zurichers, it's your turn. If you’re cool (or even if you’re not), then please help the homeless. Are you happy with your locale? If you could live anywhere in Zurich, where would you live?

Smoke-free Switzerland?

People have said that I live in one of the most backwards cantons in Switzerland. People from Zurich especially like to point this out.

Now I've defended Canton Aargau before, but this time, I have to agree with my Zurich colleagues. At least when it comes to the new smoking law, Little Living In The Past Canton Aargau still can't admit what scientists have proven for years: smoking kills.

Even though Switzerland has passed a smoking ban, which began on May 1, like most things Swiss, the lawmakers in Bern let the cantons decide the actual rules--even when it comes to things like public health. And of course, I live in a canton that has the most liberal rules. This means that smoking is allowed in restaurants under 80 qm2--in other words, smoking is still allowed in almost all the of restaurants in my little town.

I guess I'm not going out after all.

Despite appearances otherwise, nothing in many parts of Switzerland has changed. Somehow, I'm not surprised. Whether it's women fighting for equal rights in a Swiss parade for over 20 years, or protecting workers from second-hand smoke when the facts prove it kills, change in Switzerland seems excruciating in its slowness.

According to Swissinfo, 21% of the population here is exposed to second-hand smoke for at least an hour each day. And what I still fail to understand are the numbers: Two-thirds of Swiss people don't smoke. So why are we catering to the minority, especially since we live in an über-democracy? I don't understand why restaurant owners are so worried about the smoking ban. If they only knew how many times I wanted to go out but didn't because I didn't want to come home and have to take a shower, maybe they'd realize just how many customers they will never see because of their "liberal" take on smoke.

I would also generalize that many non-smokers are probably better educated and have more money to spend in restaurants (especially since these people are saving hundreds each year by not buying cigarettes). But logic does not always seem to matter when it comes to laws in Switzerland.

To see if you live in a backwards part of Switzerland, check the smoking chart above, which I scanned from Blick am Abend. If you find yourself in the gray areas, yeah, you live in one of the most backwards places in Switzerland. So to see any real change when it comes to smoking, you'll probably have to keep holding your breath.

What do you think of the new smoking laws?