Scary Worldwide: The Band Uniform

In honor of Halloween, I wanted to share something that is a truly frightening phenomenon worldwide: the school band uniform. Pictured above is Baden's version (heads have been chopped off to protect the innocent).

What an outfit. Wow. Makes me feel better about that wool, navy and orange shoulder padded suit that I had to wear in high school.

Note to all band members: I know it's not your fault, but putting a feather in your cap is never a good idea.

Did you wear a band uniform in school and live to tell about it?

That will be 40K please

Dear taxpayer,

That will be CHF 40,000 ($40,000). Please pay by tomorrow. In cash.

Love,

Switzerland

Ok. That's not exactly how Swiss taxes go, but essentially, you get a bill from the tax man for a staggering amount and are expected to hurry up and go transfer the money to them asap upon receiving your bill. Taxes are not deducted directly from paychecks in Switzerland, Swiss residents are expected to save part of their paychecks for the big tax bill that comes later, once a year.

Can you imagine this working in the United States? Please. The budget deficit is bad enough.

Dear Frau: How much cheaper are prices in Germany?

Welcome to another edition of Dear Frau. It's kind of like Dear Abby, but with an international twist. If you have questions about life in Switzerland, don't hesitate to contact the Frau and maybe your little Frage will be in the next edition of Dear Frau.

Dear Frau,

You’ve discussed grocery shopping in Germany a few times on your blog. But how much can I really expect to save? Will it make up for the cost of my train ticket there?

Thanks,

Curious in CH

Dear Curious in CH,

Good timing. The Frau just went shopping in Germany (Waldshut) again over the weekend. But before we look at a few price comparisons, let’s talk in general. In 2009, Blick am Abend reported that Swiss grocers averaged 33% higher prices than German ones. Since then, the franc has gained on the euro, so the prices in Germany are even more advantageous to the Swiss shopper. I don’t know what your train ticket costs, but let’s take a look at a few prices, using the current euro-franc exchange rate, which is roughly 1 euro = 1.34 francs.

Note: In this example, Migros, Coop, Denner, and Manor are shops in Switzerland. Kaufland and Müller are the shops in Germany.

Note 2: When possible, exact brands have been compared. These are noted with an *.

Two ring binder:

at Migros: 3,50 CHF/at Kaufland: 1,33 CHF

Sesame Bagel:

at Coop: .98 CHF per bagel/at Kaufland: .44 CHF per bagel

1 Mango:

at Migros: 3,50 CHF/at Kaufland: 1,60 CHF

Leerdammer Cheese*:

at Denner: 4,95 CHF/at Kaufland: 2,67 CHF

Poco Loco Salsa Dip*:

at Denner: 2,45 CHF/at Kaufland: 1,33 CHF

Moevenpick ice cream*:

at Coop: 9,90 CHF/at Kaufland: 4,00 CHF

1 kilo chicken:

at Manor: 34,50 CHF/at Kaufland: 13,20 CHF

500 gram broccoli:

at Manor: 2,45 CHF/at Kaufland: 1,33 CHF

Nestle Shreddies*:

at Coop: 4,75 CHF/at Kaufland: 4,00 CHF

Tortilla Chips:

at Manor: 3,95 CHF/at Kaufland: 1,33 CHF

200 Q-tips:

at Denner: ,75 CHF/at Müller: ,33 CHF

Liquid Soap:

at Denner: 1,20 CHF/at Müller: ,87 CHF

TOTAL in CH: 72,88 CHF/TOTAL in DEUTSCHLAND: 32,43 CHF

Shopping Savings in this example: 55%

Note 3: This example may not reflect an average savings as for obvious reasons, the Frau tends to stock up on things she knows are cheaper in Germany.

Note 4: Prices include local taxes. If you shop in Germany but live in Switzerland, you can have the German taxes refunded, making shopping even cheaper.

Note 5: Remember that you have a CHF 300 spending limit or customs will fine you if caught, average fine is CHF 300 + duty. Also, there are limits on the amount of certain items you can bring into CH, for example, each person is only allowed 500 g of beef. For exact amounts allowed, click here, print it out and take it with you when you cross the border.

Happy shopping.

Do you border shop?

Extreme Angst in Baden

Attention Yodelers,

We have another item worthy of news. Someone in Baden has thrown a pizza box into a trash bin that specifically says: Please do not throw pizza boxes in here.

The nerve. Can you believe someone didn't follow the rules? That a Swiss rule could actually attract the opposite of it? That's the subject in this article, from the 7. October Rundschau. Its title: Extremes.

Um, Please Stop Bauen For Me

The cranes are back.

Here's what's going on around me:

In my building they are revamping a coffee shop to make it into a clothing store.

In the building directly across the street, they are remodeling a clothing store.

In the building directly next to mine, they are remodeling an eyeglasses store.

In the building kitty-corner from mine, they are getting ready to demolish it and build an office building.

Heaven help me.

The worst part is, almost all of these places have big posters up in their windows that say, "Wir bauen für Sie um." (We're building for you.)

Please. You're jackhammering at 7 a.m. You're throwing metal stuff into metal bins. And all that scaffolding is not exactly the icing on the cake.

Look, I've been in Switzerland long enough to know that there's some sick non-existant award for who has the shiniest store/apartment/office/clock tower that everyone is competing for, but just because you want to win, do not claim to be doing it for me. Because the next time one of your customers complains that they're getting wet from my garden hose, I'll just have to say, sorry, ladies and gentlemen, but um, I'm watering for you.

This weather sucks! What should I do?

Hmm. The Frau tries not to be biased, but if you like books, you might want to attend an author reading that she is organizing on Sunday.

As part of the Zurich Writers Workshop this weekend, New York Times Bestselling Author Susan Jane Gilman and University of Oxford Fiction Tutor Amal Chatterjee will be reading from their works on Sunday, October 3, 2010 from 12:30-1:00 p.m. at Schoentalstrasse 8, 8004 Zurich. The event is free and open to the public. Books will be available for sale.

If that's not quite your thing, here are some other indoor options:

Andy Warhol Exhibit at the art museum in Basel.

Choir Festival in Appenzell (not sure exactly how indoors this is).

Funny Laundry performs stand-up comedy in Zurich.

Border Shopping Discussion on WRS

Hi Yodelers,

On Thursday, September 30th, from 18:30 to 19:00, the Frau, a.k.a., moi, will be a guest on The Connectors, a radio show put on by World Radio Switzerland. This week's show will discuss border shopping, which, as you know based on my last post, I quite enjoy.

The station is 101.7 in Geneva or DAB+, Cable & Satellite Across Switzerland. Or you can listen live online. Hope to meet you on the airwaves.

Love,

The Frau

The Price of Trust

On Saturday I was surrounded by more aisles and products than I knew what to do with. I found cloves. I found bags of tortilla chips for 1 Euro. I found Moevenpick ice cream for the equivalent of SFr 3,50. I was in heaven otherwise known as the border German grocery store.

As I was unloading the groceries from my cart at the check-out, the cashier said something to me that I couldn't quite hear above the din of hundreds of other Swiss and German shoppers around me.

"Wie bitte?" I asked.

The cashier repeated her statement. I realized that she wanted me to remove my wet umbrella from my grocery cart so she could check that I wasn't stealing anything.

As I picked up the umbrella, all I could think was, wow. I had almost forgotten what it was like to not be trusted.

Switzerland may be high on cost, but unlike its more affordable German neighbor, it is also high on trust. I had forgotten how nice a society of trust is.

I still enjoyed my German-priced Swiss ice cream, though.

Big News in Switzerland

Stop the press! The Migros grocery store in Wildegg, Switzerland is now open during lunchtime!

Weekend in Switzerland: Flims

Hi Yodelers,

As part of a hopefully-sort-of-regular column on this blog, The Frau will share some weekend ideas in order to prove that really, Switzerland isn’t boring!

This week we’re in Flims. Together with Laax, this famous ski resort is fun year-round. Turquoise lakes. Mountain rivers. And the “oh my God look at that” Rhine Canyon.

Day 1: Train to Chur. Postbus to the Caumasee bus stop where it’s a short hike down to the Cauma Lake (about 15 minutes). Chill out here for a while, take a swim, rent a paddleboat (CHF 15/hour), or just treat yourself to lunch or a snack at the lovely lakeside restaurant. Then it’s about a 45-minute to hike to Conn, where you will find a viewing platform for the Rhine Canyon. Say your exclamations, click your camera, and return to Waldhaus/Flims and have dinner at the Surselva Breau, a small local brewery with a great restaurant and even better beer.

Day 2: Take the cable car from Flims up to Naraus (21 CHF one-way or 27 CHF round trip) and hike to the Segneshütte. This is a panoroma hike so you’ll enjoy spectacular landscapes, a beautiful waterfall, and a mountain river before heading back down, either via cable car from Naraus, or if you’re there from July-October, you can take the bus back from Alp Nagens.

Other ideas:

Raft down the river

Hike the round-trip Rhine Canyon route

The Alpabzug (cow parade) takes place on the 18th in Flims. Watch the cows come home.

Rent a bike and take it up the ski lift in Flims and bike down.

Where to stay:

Hotel des Alpes in Waldhaus/Flims (right near the Caumasee bus stop and minutes from the torquoise Cauma Lake.) CHF 182/night for a double, including breakfast. It was a nice place, large rooms that included soap. Yes, free soap! Trust me, I celebrated. (Note: this was the cheapest hotel I could find in the area. I'll apologize for Switzerland and their prices now.)

Where to eat:

Surselva Breau. A fun brewery. They let me order both beer and from the kid’s menu. What’s not to like?

Remember:

To save money on these trips, why not use REKA checks? Hotel des Alpes will let you pay for half your room with these checks and the cable car people in Flims take them too.

Have you been to the Flims/Laax area? If so, please leave a tip. Happy yodeling!

Party Until the Cows Come Home

Hi Yodelers,

Want to experience one of the classic Swiss events of the fall? Yes you do. September is Cow Party Month in Switzerland. So why not join the livestock parade? September is prime Cow Wearing Flowers And Man Wearing Yellow Knickers month. In German, these festivals, where the cows literally come home, are called Alpabzüge.

To make things easier to figure out, I've put together a list of most of these events over at ACC. Most cow parades are on Saturdays, starting from September 11th. The one you see pictured above is a photo I took of the parade in Urnaesch last year. This is the classic Appenzell event and will take place this year on September 18th. Happy yodeling.

What's your favorite cow parade in Switzerland?

Say Cheese

Americans are often amazed that Europeans don’t smile.

“Tell me again, really? They don’t ever smile?”

“Not at you,” I reply.

They don’t smile at you because you are a foreigner and you scare them. Because if they give you one little smile, you might give them your entire life story. Come on, you know you would. In English. Without bothering to ask if they understood the language first.

And if Europeans don’t smile on the street, it might also be because it is August, 52 degrees, and raining. They aren’t smiling because they are worried that they might not see the sun again until May. I’ve been there. I live here.

But inside their homes, where they have families and sun lamps, Europeans smile.

Now I’m not saying any of this makes sense, I’m just saying that’s how it is. There are plenty of contradictions in American life too. An American isn’t afraid to reveal their entire life story to a stranger, but they would never bathe topless. Does this make sense either? I don't know. But it makes me smile.

The decision to move abroad

Resigning from a job, selling a house and/or car, and leaving family and friends to move abroad can be scary. But I did it in 2006. And now I’m sharing the steps (in the order that they appeared) that led me to work up the nerve to move abroad:

1. Get fateful email from husband: “I got the offer.”
2. Google, “Should I move abroad?”
3. Eat lots of high fructose corn syrup.
4. Google, “Living abroad.”
5. Toss. Turn. Repeat.
6. Wear sunglasses to cover up bags under eyes.
7. Remember who is president (2006).
8. Repeat #7. A lot.
9. Go to work. Stare at vacation balance. Shake head.
10. Realize looking back and thinking, “what if?” would suck.

If you’re living abroad, what made you decide to go? If you’re not, what’s holding you back?

This post first appeared on my blog about the international writing life, Writer Abroad.

The Swiss Version of NASCAR

Yesterday I attended the Aelplerfest in Frauenfeld, a three-day event featuring a Schwingen (Swiss wrestling) tournament, a Hornussen (a strange cross between golf and baseball) competition, and a Steinstossen (rock throwing) contest.

Besides these ah, let's call them "unique" events, the one thing that struck me was that this festival was the Swiss equivalent of NASCAR (Granted, I have not yet attended the International Trucker and Country Festival in Interlaken).

Obviously there was no race track here, but there were huge parking lots filled with a combination of tents, campers, and cars, half-naked men sleeping beside them, and guys drinking beer in the river. People wore their tickets NASCAR style-- as badges of pride--around their necks on lanyards, and they somehow found sitting in the 93-degree sun to watch a bunch of Swiss guys roll around in the sawdust worthwhile. And while I did not find any corn dogs or turkey legs, there was a nice offering of American food, including DoNuts.

I always love a good DoNut.

Register for the Zurich Writers Workshop

Hello Yodelers,

It's about time that Zurich celebrated something other than banking, oder?

Well, that's where I come in. I'm co-founding the Zurich Writers Workshop, which will take place October 1-3, 2010. If you're interested in writing fiction or memoir, this weekend might be for you. You'll learn from instructors like New York Times Bestselling Author Susan Jane Gilman and University of Oxford Fiction Tutor Amal Chatterjee. You'll also get a literary tour of Zurich and you'll eat (what else?--) a lot of cheese. Sound good?

Registration is limited to about 24 participants and will be filled on a first-come, first-served basis.

For more information, click here. To register, click here. And please spread the word by sharing this post (see buttons below for your preferred choice of social networking options). Danke to all!

Business Class Upgrade on Swiss

I was not looking forward to my 10-hour flight.

"There are no good seat on an airplane," I told my husband.

I was wrong.

There are seats on an airplane that don't involve bruised knees and armrest wars. They are called business class seats on long-haul Swiss flights. These seats allow you to recline all the way, read a newspaper without being handicapped by a mere page turn, and reap the rewards that only a 12 to 1 flight attendant ratio can bring.

I didn't want the flight to end.

I had a four-course lunch, which I could order from a menu, complete with a white tablecloth and food prepared by Hiltl, hand-scooped Moevenpick ice cream in a waffle cone, and non-stop beverage service. I can safely say, that in the 25 years since I started flying, this was the first flight I wasn't dehydrated, squirmy, or impatient.

I don't know how I'm going to return to my regularly scheduled squished state on my next flight, but sadly, I am not a business class regular. I wish I could tell you the secrets of being upgraded, but I have no idea why it happened. I didn't ask. I didn't complain. I didn't do anything. I just boarded the plane with 23B and got handed a receipt that said "seat upgrade to 10B."

And then, with my newfound fortune, I couldn't help but take photos, which, despite my first-class feeling, gave away my true status as an "economist."

Have you ever been upgraded? If so, what are your secrets?

3 Ways to Survive the Next Family Visit

It’s that time of year again, when friends and family can’t wait to descend on their little expat. The problem is, the further you move from home, the longer your visitors come to stay. 

It’s all great and fun for the first few days, until suddenly, you really have to pee and your father-in-law is on the toilet. Again. 



It happens to the best of us. The big blowout where at about day five of their visit, you just can’t quite stand to have these people you (used to) love in your little European apartment anymore. 

I know because I’ve been there. For almost four years, visitors have come and gone while I’ve laughed, cried, and sometimes even screamed. 


Solution? Go on a trip together where you can have separate bedrooms and bathrooms. Below are a few ideas that will fit with various travel styles but still ensure that everyone can enjoy the time without driving each other crazy.

One: Rent an apartment or chalet in the Swiss Alps.

Renting an apartment costs about 1/3 of the price of a Swiss hotel room (average studio apartment cost is about CHF 60/night). The catch? You have to stay a week. Pas de probleme. Your guests are coming for at least that long, right? Yes. It’s time to get them out of your apartment and into someone elses’. Most tourist offices in Swiss resort towns can help you find an apartment that will meet your needs (i.e. two full bathrooms, etc). Or you can visit myswitzerland.com where there are apartment listings. I just spent a week in an apartment in Bettmeralp, near the Aletsch glacier, and it was wonderful. The apartment was clean and had everything we needed—including a fondue pot.

Two: Go on a Europe Cruise.

Say your family is like mine: a bunch of Americans that have big vacation ideas and even bigger checklists. A Europe Cruise is a great way for them to run around (I mean, see the top sites) while you sit back on board, European-style, with a coffee or glass of wine. Whether you cruise the Danube or the Rhine, go for 15 days or 8, river cruises through Europe can be a relaxing way to spend time with your family. And since you already live in the heart of Europe, they’re easy to get to. One company that offers a good variety of Europe cruises is Viking River Cruises.

Three: Discover your roots.

Many American families have roots in Europe. Heck, they may even call themselves Italians or Swedes even though they are through and through Americans and don’t speak a word of Italian or Swedish. One summer, my family discovered its Italian roots in northern Italy. We found a cemetery, furniture store, and monuments—all filled with our last name. We stayed in a little pension where the owner shared the same last name as one of my father’s cousins. We thought we’d fit right in. But we couldn’t talk to anyone. It was weird. And interesting. And worth it to find out we weren’t exactly as Italian as we thought.

Have you done any of these kinds of trips with your families? Or what do you recommend?

Uh + Oh

A lot of expat life is about making educated guesses. For example, when presented with an oven that has the following three options:

Uh.

Oh.

Or Uh-Oh.

I chose Uh-Oh.

The lasagna turned out ok.

You never know.

Take off your Top: Zurich Swim Culture

I didn’t know that the real definition of Frauenbad was topless sunbathing area, but I now am more educated.

Actually, at the Zürich Frauenbad, you get both extremes: from women fully covered in burkinis to women wearing nothing but their g-strings. Personally, I preferred the burkinis. But the men lingering on their little boats (and out on the balcony of the office building overlooking the Frauenbad) were definitely there for the latter.

I guess nothing says you’re in Europe like women sunbathing topless on a river deck and men on little boats in even smaller red speedos staring at these women through matching red sunglasses.

Previously, I had only been to the Frauenbad at night, when it is converted into a barefoot bar open to both sexes.

It’s much more interesting during the day.

How to play the alphorn

I recently had the honor to write a story on the Swiss Alphorn School. I watched as beginners learned to blow their first note, advanced students played in harmony, and cows listened intently to it all.

The alphorn is difficult to play. I tried and failed. All notes are breath controlled. The instrument is 3 meters long. And if you haven’t previously played a horn instrument, it can be tough to make a sound. But when your practice room is a mountaintop and your audience is a cow, it’s definitely worth the effort to learn to play.

Read more about how to learn to play this unique Swiss instrument by reading my feature article, Alphorn school blows students away on swissinfo.ch.