Dear Frau: What is it about Switzerland?

Dear Frau

I would be interested in hearing the little quirky things that make Switzerland home to people. I would love to hear the things that people who adopted CH would miss if they went away.

Maybe you will ask your readers my question?

Take care and hope to hear from you,

Mrs. Crocodile

Dear Mrs. Crocodile,

There are many things The Frau would miss if she left CH. Maybe that’s why so far, she hasn’t.

For one, the cleanliness. The Frau can barely leave Switzerland these days without being completely disturbed by how dirty the rest of the world really is.

Public transportation that is so punctual that you miss it.

The clock tower reminding The Frau every 15 minutes, 24/7, just exactly how much time she wastes on Facebook.

Knowing that when you make an appointment for 7 p.m. this means exactly that.

The locked trash bins.

The excitement that occurs when the sun comes out.

The amount of chocolate you can eat without gaining a pound.

Being able to walk everywhere.

Not having to own a car.

The great outdoors. The pool. The ice rink. The biking paths. The hiking paths. The Slow Up events. The Frau’s running path by the Limmat River. The fact that she can swim in the river. Or the lake. A spa that’s only a 10-minute walk away. A train station that’s only a 2-minute walk away. An airport that’s only a 20-minute ride away.

Conversations that take place in multiple languages with no loss of communication.

The “I’m a daredevil” feeling you can enjoy when doing laundry on Sunday.

Knowing exactly how many minutes until the baggage appears at the Zurich airport.

What would you miss if you left Switzerland? Or if you’ve already left, what do you miss?

Something you would never see in Switzerland

It doesn't take a genius to guess that this sign is from a parking lot in the American South. When a country is run by lawyers instead of by the people, these kind of signs tend to be popular, if not a bit ridiculous in their excess caution. Not to mention, in the U.S., there is often more salt on the streets than snow.

While I don't necessarily need a sign to warn me that it's winter and snowy and therefore slippery, I would appreciate a small sprinkling of sand or salt on my Swiss streets sometimes. I was in Adelboden a few weeks back and could hardly walk without slipping. People were sliding down the streets in their snowboots. It was dangerous. I know that personal responsibility matters in Switzerland, but sometimes this is also taken to the extreme. At one point, a local told us to get down the main hill, we should take the parking lot elevator rather than the road because the road was too icy. So we went down the hill via the parking lot.

I just wonder where the balance is sometimes. From one country to the other, from one extreme to the other.

What do you think? Do you prefer to slip and slide with or without signage?

Mob Scene

Anyone that rides a Swiss train at rush hour (or on Sunday) can relate to this, oder?

In fact, the crowding on Swiss trains has gotten so crazy that the SBB is considering raising the price of tickets for people who commute during the rush hour. But the real problem, in my opinion, is that people getting on the train aren't letting the people that want to get off, off. What do you think?

Balloon Festival in Chateau d'Oex

Hi Yodelers,

It's been a busy January so far, but I'm trying to come down to earth long enough to remind you about an iconic event that happens once a year in Switzerland: the balloon festival in Chateau d'Oex. It starts this weekend (the 22nd) and runs through next Sunday (the 30th). I went to see it in 2009 and wrote about it last year. If you want to know more, you can read my post here. Or visit the official balloon website here. It's really a beautiful thing to see.

Dear Frau: I'm homesick

Welcome to another edition of Dear Frau. It's kind of like Dear Abby, except with an international twist. If you have a question about life abroad, feel free to contact The Frau and maybe your little Frage will be in the next edition of Dear Frau.

Dear Frau,

I've been here 9 weeks. I've eaten the cheeses, the Sprüngli, and the Schnitzel. I've lost the 20 pounds that lazy Americans bring with them, despite having eaten the cheeses, the Sprüngli, and the Schnitzel. I've taken more pictures of the mountains and lakes than Facebook can handle. I drink Prosecco whenever it is available. So tell me, how do I conquer the overwhelming waves of homesickness that literally take my breath away even as I enjoy my surroundings?

I'm 36 years old - can it really be this hard to be away from my family and friends?! We Skype, Vonage and Yahoo!Messenger. We e-mail, snail mail and send overpriced tokens of our love. But still, I feel like a 10- year-old at a never-ending sleep-away camp.

Any advice and/or humorous/horrifying stories of crying on the train and/or Panoramaweg would be welcome.

Danke a ton.

The Lone Kansan

Dear The Lone Kansan

You may feel alone but look around and you’ll see someone who is wearing sunglasses even though it is foggy out. That would be The Frau, trying not to show her red eyes. It’s funny how airports can be either the happiest or the saddest places, depending which gate you are at.

The Frau would like to say that the homesickness gets easier, but it doesn’t. It just gets more manageable as Switzerland becomes more like home. And if you just moved here nine weeks ago, congratulations, you survived the hardest time of year to be away from family. Things can only get easier now.

To deal with homesickness, The Frau recommends being an American. In other words, keep busy. Find a job, find a purpose, find a group of friends you enjoy being around. Or write a blog, write a journal, or write a book. These are some things that have helped The Frau.

Finally, don’t beat yourself up for feeling blue. It’s normal. If you didn’t miss your family and friends The Frau would be more worried.

As you know, you are not in Kansas anymore. So the next time someone cuts in front of you at the store or barges onto the train before you can get off, just click your red heels together and think, “there’s no place like home.”

Anyone else have tips on how to deal with homesickness?

The Apologetic Americans

Hello, I'm an American and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I haven't posted for awhile. I'm sorry if you don't like this post. I'm sorry it's taking me so long to get to the point. Here it is: Every time I visit the U.S., I notice something different. This time it was how apologetic Americans are. Everywhere I went, people were sorry.

If someone came within two feet of me in the bookstore they were sorry. If the cashier took 30 seconds to wait on me she was sorry. If a shopper went around me (without even touching me!) in a clothing store, she was sorry. Is this politeness? Or is this insanity?

Here’s a news flash for all you Americans—you don’t need to be so passive and apologetic. In Switzerland, people are rarely sorry about anything. If they bump into you at the grocery store they just keep going. If they elbow you at the cheese counter, they wanted to. If they get on the train before you can get off, they’re not sorry. Granted, the word "sorry" in German is quite the mouthful so maybe that's why people don't bother saying it. But still. Americans are so sorry, they say “sorry” when they have nothing to be sorry about.

I’m sorry this post is so short.

Time for Nothing. The horror!

It's that time of year again.

The time when this Frau gets really nervous because she has to do something extremely hard for an American: relax.

Switzerland has done wonders to calm her need to be busy at every moment, but she's still an American at heart and therefore way too antsy to just do nothing.

Still. The Frau is going to try. She is going to pretend like every day is a Swiss Sunday. She hopes you can be a little Swiss this holiday season too.

So, in honor of this strange, relaxing mindset, the Frau will say her holiday greetings, Swiss-style now: Frohe Weihnachten und ein glückliches Neues Jahr. Joyeux Noel et Bonne Année. Buon Natale e Felice Anno Nuovo. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from One Big Yodel.

Happy Talk

Sometimes understanding German makes living in Switzerland more difficult. You hear insults. You hear stupid conversations. And you hear two twelve year old girls asking the Coop cashier how old they must be to buy cigarettes.

When she told them 16, they were very disappointed.

I was disappointed in them. Somehow, I wish I could have imagined that they were asking where the lollipops were.

I miss my little expat bubble sometimes. Living in reality can be much harder. Maybe I should move to the French section. Or better yet, the Romansch section. Everyone would be saying happy things there.

The Holiday Spirit

Mountains. Snow. Christmas Markets. What else could you want?

Oh. Maybe the holiday spirit?

That's the one thing that was missing at the Innsbruck Christmas Market. Happy people.

At one store, I was buying a few Christmas ornaments with a friend so I asked for an extra bag. Nicely. In German. The salesclerk then threw the ornaments on the counter, got another bag, and threw them all in the other bag. Excuse me for giving her business.

At another stand, I picked up a wrapped loaf of bread to figure out what it was. It looked tasty and was covered in chocolate and I was considering buying it until all of a sudden I received a scathing lecture from the seller for touching it. I apologized, but this woman kept yelling. One of my friends, who speaks fluent German, stepped in and told this women we were sorry, we just thought her breads looked good and we wanted to see what they were. She kept yelling, "you should know better than to pick things up!" My friend told her that then she should have a "do not touch sign." "No!" said this woman, "It is common sense not to touch things!"

She was still yelling but I wasn't going to take it any more. I wished her a "Frohe Weihnachten" and then I walked off.

Later, we passed her booth and here's what we saw:

Happy Holidays from Austria.

Save money on your rent

Sehr geehrte Damen und Herren

There's something your landlord probably isn't going to tell you.

The interest rates have fallen in Switzerland and therefore many renters are entitled to a rent decrease. The catch? Unlike rent increases (which have happened to us once already over the last four years) rent decreases don't typically happen automatically (unless you have a really nice landlord).

Please do not let language issues get in the way of your rightful savings like I have been guilty of doing in the past. Here are the basics about what you need to do:

1) Check your lease to see what the national reference rate that your current rent is based from (Hypothekarzinssatz). Our lease, from 2006, shows a rate of 3%, which was later raised in 2008 to 3.5%, which increased our rent a lovely SFr 150/month. The rate has just been lowered to 2.75%, so we should (fingers crossed) be entitled to a nice rent decrease.

2) To qualify for your decrease, you must send a letter by registered mail to the people you rent from. But don't worry, the letter is already written for you. You just need to download it and fill in the blanks. To download your letter, click here. As I understand it, you must send this letter within 30 days and every person listed on your lease must sign it. You can visit the renter's association website for more information by clicking here, where you'll also find the letter available in a Word document.

Here's to trying to save money in Switzerland! Good luck. And if anyone has information on where to find these letters in French, please let me know so I can add the links to help our friends on the other side of the roesti ditch.

Has anyone had success with rent reduction in Switzerland? Please share.

The Black Sheep Return

Maybe you've noticed. Our friends, the black sheep, are back to being beat up on posters everywhere from the Zurich HB to your own backyard. The vote to deport foreign criminals is back on Nov 28.

Now. Let me get something straight. In principle, I have nothing against the idea that foreign criminals who commit certain kinds of crimes should be deported. Yes, they've broken the rules and why should Swiss people pay to lock them up?

But.

What I have against the whole argument is the way the SVP party presents it. With propaganda. With fear. A fear so great that it makes even non-criminal foreigners like me feel dirty. And a fear that makes its own sweet citizens, my neighbor included, put double locks on their doors and install security systems. All of this in a country as beautiful and crime-free as Switzerland.

I also have a problem with the issue because it includes the word "foreigner". What defines a foreigner? If I have a child in Switzerland and they grow up here, are they a foreigner too? Just because they don't have a Swiss passport? It seems like the foreign criminal issue is just an another excuse to discriminate.

What do you think?

To read more, visit my piece on Fear in Switzerland, over on swissinfo.

It could have been hell. But it was Swiss.

In some countries, things just work. You pay for them. But they work.

Airlines, for example. This weekend, I flew Swiss from Zurich to Nice. Unfortunately, Nice wasn't very nice (it rained almost the entire time I was there) but Swiss was.

We had boarded the plane in Zurich and we were ready to taxi when the pilot realized something was wrong with the plane. In any other country (or with any other airline) this would have meant crazy delays and hassle, turning my weekend getaway into an extended airport stay. But with Swiss, this problem was taken care of like clockwork. "Naturally, we have another plane for you and we will be ready for take-off again in 45 minutes."

Yeah right.

But this is Switzerland. Within 45 minutes, as promised, we were on a new plane, a bigger plane, told we could spread out and make ourselves comfortable (yay, exit row!) and we were ready to take off, arriving in Nice only about 40 minutes behind schedule.

Then the French took about another 40 minutes to get us our luggage. But that's another story. A French one.

Dear Frau: Why is my visa taking so long?

Welcome to another edition of Dear Frau. It’s kind of like Dear Abby, except with an international twist. If you have a question about life in Switzerland, don’t hesitate to contact The Frau. Then maybe your little Frage will be in the next edition of Dear Frau.

Dear Frau,

I'm trying to move to Bern but the process has been halted due to my work visa taking an unheard of amount of time to process. Did you run into any problems like this when you moved there? I keep calling the embassy to find out if it has been accepted, and they just tell me that it's still processing. I'm at my wit's end!

Any other tips would be greatly appreciated as well! I'm really enjoying reading your blog and I'm sure it will be a nice tool for me to use when I finally make it over there.

Thanks,

Visa Vixen

Dear Visa Vixen,

The Frau isn’t sure what an unheard of amount of time is to wait for a visa in Switzerland, except that an unheard of amount of time is normal. I mean, think about it, if good things come to those who wait, then Switzerland is worth its weight in gold. How else could the prices here be so insane?

But The Frau digresses.

Here's the thing: Bureaucracy is slow and stupid on purpose. This is due to one of two phenomenons:

Porn. (It's more exciting than your paperwork.)

Or

Priorities

Look. In most countries, foreigners finish last. In Switzerland, it’s even worse because Swiss people have a train to catch. They have to go to lunch at noon. They have to do their laundry on Wednesday the 17th or wear dirty clothes for another three weeks. They are tired of being on time. And can you blame them? Punctuality is so ingrained in the culture that they can’t wait to slack. And who better to slack with than the foreigners?

So yeah. The Frau is not surprised that you’re still waiting on the visa. But look on the bright side. In the meantime, you’ll have plenty of time to read past columns of Dear Frau for more tips on moving to Switzerland.

Anyone else out there have advice for Visa Vixen?

Do you read Swiss Info’s Write On blog? For the next two months, The Frau will be blabbing over there as well as on One Big Yodel. God save the Internet. Click here to read the latest, where The Frau takes it upon herself to apologize to the entire confederation.

What the Swiss think of America

Wow, it's all of America in one big logo, courtesy of the American Bar & Restaurant in St. Gallen. (Note: Believe it or not, the American Bar & Restaurant is actually a Swiss chain--they are also in hotspots like Brütten and Mutschellen.)

Of course, the Frau has been to the American Bar & Restaurant–on her birthday, of course. But you wouldn't expect any less of her, oder? For her first impressions of the restaurant, click here.

Now let's see. What do we have in this fantastic logo?

Football (an Illini player, they have good taste).

Police.

Big buildings.

Big birds.

Big rockets.

Big boats.

Big bridges.

Big parks.

And a bunch of presidents that are larger than life.

I'd say they did a good job summing up America. The only thing that could possibly be improved would be the addition of a big lawyer right in the center of it all (did you know a 4-year old can now be sued for negligence?).

Scary Worldwide: The Band Uniform

In honor of Halloween, I wanted to share something that is a truly frightening phenomenon worldwide: the school band uniform. Pictured above is Baden's version (heads have been chopped off to protect the innocent).

What an outfit. Wow. Makes me feel better about that wool, navy and orange shoulder padded suit that I had to wear in high school.

Note to all band members: I know it's not your fault, but putting a feather in your cap is never a good idea.

Did you wear a band uniform in school and live to tell about it?

That will be 40K please

Dear taxpayer,

That will be CHF 40,000 ($40,000). Please pay by tomorrow. In cash.

Love,

Switzerland

Ok. That's not exactly how Swiss taxes go, but essentially, you get a bill from the tax man for a staggering amount and are expected to hurry up and go transfer the money to them asap upon receiving your bill. Taxes are not deducted directly from paychecks in Switzerland, Swiss residents are expected to save part of their paychecks for the big tax bill that comes later, once a year.

Can you imagine this working in the United States? Please. The budget deficit is bad enough.

Dear Frau: How much cheaper are prices in Germany?

Welcome to another edition of Dear Frau. It's kind of like Dear Abby, but with an international twist. If you have questions about life in Switzerland, don't hesitate to contact the Frau and maybe your little Frage will be in the next edition of Dear Frau.

Dear Frau,

You’ve discussed grocery shopping in Germany a few times on your blog. But how much can I really expect to save? Will it make up for the cost of my train ticket there?

Thanks,

Curious in CH

Dear Curious in CH,

Good timing. The Frau just went shopping in Germany (Waldshut) again over the weekend. But before we look at a few price comparisons, let’s talk in general. In 2009, Blick am Abend reported that Swiss grocers averaged 33% higher prices than German ones. Since then, the franc has gained on the euro, so the prices in Germany are even more advantageous to the Swiss shopper. I don’t know what your train ticket costs, but let’s take a look at a few prices, using the current euro-franc exchange rate, which is roughly 1 euro = 1.34 francs.

Note: In this example, Migros, Coop, Denner, and Manor are shops in Switzerland. Kaufland and Müller are the shops in Germany.

Note 2: When possible, exact brands have been compared. These are noted with an *.

Two ring binder:

at Migros: 3,50 CHF/at Kaufland: 1,33 CHF

Sesame Bagel:

at Coop: .98 CHF per bagel/at Kaufland: .44 CHF per bagel

1 Mango:

at Migros: 3,50 CHF/at Kaufland: 1,60 CHF

Leerdammer Cheese*:

at Denner: 4,95 CHF/at Kaufland: 2,67 CHF

Poco Loco Salsa Dip*:

at Denner: 2,45 CHF/at Kaufland: 1,33 CHF

Moevenpick ice cream*:

at Coop: 9,90 CHF/at Kaufland: 4,00 CHF

1 kilo chicken:

at Manor: 34,50 CHF/at Kaufland: 13,20 CHF

500 gram broccoli:

at Manor: 2,45 CHF/at Kaufland: 1,33 CHF

Nestle Shreddies*:

at Coop: 4,75 CHF/at Kaufland: 4,00 CHF

Tortilla Chips:

at Manor: 3,95 CHF/at Kaufland: 1,33 CHF

200 Q-tips:

at Denner: ,75 CHF/at Müller: ,33 CHF

Liquid Soap:

at Denner: 1,20 CHF/at Müller: ,87 CHF

TOTAL in CH: 72,88 CHF/TOTAL in DEUTSCHLAND: 32,43 CHF

Shopping Savings in this example: 55%

Note 3: This example may not reflect an average savings as for obvious reasons, the Frau tends to stock up on things she knows are cheaper in Germany.

Note 4: Prices include local taxes. If you shop in Germany but live in Switzerland, you can have the German taxes refunded, making shopping even cheaper.

Note 5: Remember that you have a CHF 300 spending limit or customs will fine you if caught, average fine is CHF 300 + duty. Also, there are limits on the amount of certain items you can bring into CH, for example, each person is only allowed 500 g of beef. For exact amounts allowed, click here, print it out and take it with you when you cross the border.

Happy shopping.

Do you border shop?

Extreme Angst in Baden

Attention Yodelers,

We have another item worthy of news. Someone in Baden has thrown a pizza box into a trash bin that specifically says: Please do not throw pizza boxes in here.

The nerve. Can you believe someone didn't follow the rules? That a Swiss rule could actually attract the opposite of it? That's the subject in this article, from the 7. October Rundschau. Its title: Extremes.

Um, Please Stop Bauen For Me

The cranes are back.

Here's what's going on around me:

In my building they are revamping a coffee shop to make it into a clothing store.

In the building directly across the street, they are remodeling a clothing store.

In the building directly next to mine, they are remodeling an eyeglasses store.

In the building kitty-corner from mine, they are getting ready to demolish it and build an office building.

Heaven help me.

The worst part is, almost all of these places have big posters up in their windows that say, "Wir bauen für Sie um." (We're building for you.)

Please. You're jackhammering at 7 a.m. You're throwing metal stuff into metal bins. And all that scaffolding is not exactly the icing on the cake.

Look, I've been in Switzerland long enough to know that there's some sick non-existant award for who has the shiniest store/apartment/office/clock tower that everyone is competing for, but just because you want to win, do not claim to be doing it for me. Because the next time one of your customers complains that they're getting wet from my garden hose, I'll just have to say, sorry, ladies and gentlemen, but um, I'm watering for you.

This weather sucks! What should I do?

Hmm. The Frau tries not to be biased, but if you like books, you might want to attend an author reading that she is organizing on Sunday.

As part of the Zurich Writers Workshop this weekend, New York Times Bestselling Author Susan Jane Gilman and University of Oxford Fiction Tutor Amal Chatterjee will be reading from their works on Sunday, October 3, 2010 from 12:30-1:00 p.m. at Schoentalstrasse 8, 8004 Zurich. The event is free and open to the public. Books will be available for sale.

If that's not quite your thing, here are some other indoor options:

Andy Warhol Exhibit at the art museum in Basel.

Choir Festival in Appenzell (not sure exactly how indoors this is).

Funny Laundry performs stand-up comedy in Zurich.