A Little Swiss Aktion

Hurry! A big sale!

Maybe you've noticed. Nothing in Switzerland is big. Small apartments. Small aisles. Small country.


So naturally, sales are small as well. 


Three per cent. Eleven per cent. Thirteen per cent. 


The Frau has seen it all. And none of these discounts are usually high enough to persuade her American-trained "take 80% off already reduced prices at Kohl's" mind to rush over to take advantage of them (especially, when, like this one pictured, they come from furniture stores with SFr 15,000 couches). 


Where do these stores get these numbers? Imagine if you will, a Swiss meeting to decide the discount.


"Well, what about 10% off?"


"Good, but that's really only saving people the 8% tax plus 2%."


"Well, how about 15% off?"


"What?! That's making things too cheap! People won't buy them. They'll think something is wrong with the quality."


"Well, then. The magic number must be 13%!" 


"Perfect. Let's now let's get a little Aktion going on that."

Die Mom: The American Mom in Switzerland

When it comes to identity, The Frau is slowly becoming Die Mom. Or, to sound more professional, The Frau may decide she prefers the title of CMO: Chief Mädchen Officer. 


But who are we kidding. Once a Frau, always a Frau.


As one can imagine, having a baby abroad has opened many new doors for The Frau.  From her first Swiss hospital experience where she received homeopathic cheese treatments to her first Kinderkrippe experience where she pondered how “Krippe” rhymes with “Grippe” (especially after her daughter got her first cold last week).


Anyway, if you’d like to read more of The Frau’s observations on Die Motherhood, visit swissinfo.ch this week.


And if you have any questions about becoming a parent in Switzerland, feel free to leave a comment. Who knows. maybe The Frau will be inspired to write another Dear Frau column on the topic. She does have a whopping six and a half months of experience, after all.

Swiss Holiday Apartments

The key to an affordable and relaxing Swiss vacation? Book a holiday apartment (oh, just listen to how British the Frau is sounding lately!).

Bonus #1: You will be able to cook yourself and therefore avoid overpriced fried potatoes (the Frau just went to a restaurant in Wengen and somehow managed to spend over $50 for two plates of fried potatoes and $12 for a vintage 2012 1.5 liter of Coca-cola).

Bonus #2: You will never have to wonder: will the place be clean? Trust the Frau. Your Swiss apartment rental will be so shiny it would give even Mr. Clean a headache.

Bonus #3: You will avoid overpriced Swiss hotels that call themselves "budget" but charge CHF 200 a night and don't even throw in a bar of soap.

Below are four Swiss apartments in four great areas of Switzerland. The Frau has stayed in all of them. All are worthy of a stay, for various reasons, not the least that the Frau saved you the trouble of worrying if the place would be alright.

Wengen: Apartment Belvedere

4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, sleeps 9 (10 is pushing it)

Pluses: centrally located off the main drag, but in a quiet location, huge very un-Swiss refrigerator and freezer (stocked with ice!!), child friendly (two cots provided with no additional cost plus washing machine inside the apartment), comfortable beds, tons of English books, movies, games (place is owned by Brits, hence also the ice). We were allowed to stay past the 10 a.m. check-out time.

Minuses: no Internet connection (could be a plus depending on your crowd. Mine had iPod Touches and were constantly trying unsuccessfully to break into other networks), Sony PlayStation 2 (minus if you are a wife with a small baby who needs attention and Dad plays FIFA Soccer all day).

Oberwald: Zur Post

Third Floor Apartment

3 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, sleeps 6

Pluses: Directly on cross-country ski trail, right above tourist office, right across the street from grocery store, short walk from the train, very affordable (for Switzerland), really nice owners who will pick you and your million bags up from the train station if you have small baby and there is 20 feet of snow (and maybe even if there isn’t). We were allowed to stay an extra day since we were snowed out of the town at the beginning of our booking date.

Minuses: Some of the beds were old, the apartment hasn’t been remodeled for awhile (but it kind of adds to its charm), the only grocery store in the town is very pricey (think double the prices of food at Coop/Migros).

Orselina (Above Locarno): Casa Mari (See above for photo of the Frau on the balcony)

2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, sleeps 4

Pluses: Gorgeous views from dining room and balcony—a great place to watch the clouds when it rains for seven days straight. T.V. was broken (could be a minus depending if you like Italian programming). Beautiful garden and grilling area with palm trees and great views (see below, up huge hill).

Minuses: Up a huge hill and out of town. Nearest bus stop is still a pretty good uphill hike to apartment (not recommended when six months pregnant and carrying tons of luggage or groceries!). Locarno buses are more Italian than Swiss (i.e. never on time). Small grocery store nearby has terrible hours. No info about the area in the apartment.

Bettmeralp: Alpenglueck 39

Studio, sleeps 2

Pluses: Unobstructed mountain views, very comfortable fold-away bed, great price for two people, Internet included, cozy, when we booked through the tourist office, we got free lift tickets for the week (this was in the summer), great village with a Coop and easy access to Aletsch Glacier.

Minuses: down a fairly steep hill (not so fun with luggage—or blisters from hiking), small (but it's a studio so to be expected).

Anyone else have some great Swiss holiday apartments to recommend? The Frau will be looking for her next Fereinwohnung soon.

The worst logo the Frau has ever seen

No. This is not a joke (it is April 2, people). It's just bad design. This is the logo for the Baden City Festival. Or at least, a sad excuse for a logo.

It really bugs the Frau because it's everywhere in Baden. On bus wraps. On posters. In her mind (She works in advertising so please excuse her, she's a little strange and these kind of things drive her crazy all the time).

But never this crazy.

Help. Can someone please explain why you would hyphenate the word "Baden" as "Ba-

den?" After all, for German, it's a very short word and there is plenty of room to write the five letters in the second line of this logo.

The only saving grace for the Frau? They are not calling the festival "Badenfahrt" like they did in 2007. (If you're wondering, yes, they had t-shirts with "Baden" on the front and "Fahrt" on the back. The Frau regrets not buying one, but she barely survived the festival due to living directly above the rock and pop stage which featured "famous" Swiss rappers sharing their art until 5 a.m. for 10 days straight.)

And now the city wants her to buy a Stadtfest Ba-

den festival pin for CHF 40. With this logo on it. For the pleasure of not being able to sleep for 10 days. Oh, the joy that is Switzerland sometimes.

Is it just the Frau being overly sensitive? What do you think of this logo?

Just say no to six weeks of vacation

On March 11, the Swiss voted on a number of issues. The one I was most interested in? Would the Swiss vote in favor of six weeks of vacation for all? (Right now the Swiss have a mandatory four weeks of vacation).

Six weeks of vacation would have been a no-brainer "hell, yes" vote from a foreigner like me, but alas, my predictions were right: the Swiss voted "no" to six weeks of vacation. Why? As one Swiss colleague put it, "We don't want to be like the French."

Would you have voted for six weeks of vacation?

The Swiss Second-hand Scene

Nothing demonstrates the cost of living in a country more than the price of its used goods. If you consider the second-hand scene, Switzerland is clearly not a buyer's market. But it is definitely a seller's market. In fact, this Frau can sell used items in Switzerland for more than she paid for them new in the U.S.

Over on swissinfo.ch this week, the Frau discusses living in a country where flea market sellers won't bargain, where the Salvation Army equivalent has change for a thousand-franc bill, and where sellers on the Swiss version of Ebay start the bidding for their used strollers at SFr 350.

Have you been amazed by the Swiss second-hand scene?

The Cost of Living in Zurich

Even after living here almost six years, The Frau is still shocked by the price of certain items in Switzerland.

So, in honor of Zurich being rated the world’s most expensive place to live, she’d like to have a “No way! That costs what in Switzerland?” blog party.

Here are the Frau’s top ten “You’ve got to be kidding me” shopping moments:

1. CHF 12,90 ($13.99) for a small container of ice cream? Quite the champagne price for vanilla, don't you think?
2. CHF 39,90 ($43.27) for 116 Pampers…oh, wait, this is the SALE PRICE (Originally CHF 59,90–$64.96)?
3. CHF 39,90 ($43.27) for laundry detergent?
4. CHF 3 ($3.25) for a dinner roll that’s in a basket on the table even though my entrée costs CHF 29 ($31.44)?
5. CHF 5,90 ($6.39) for a miniscule bag of nacho chips?
6. CHF 1,19 ($1.29) a minute to call customer service for the honor of giving them my business?
7. CHF 1600 ($1,735) for a baby stroller?
8. CHF 500 ($542) for a USED baby stroller?
9. CHF 159 ($172) for a nursing pillow?
10. CHF 35 ($38) for two foot-long Subway sandwiches (no chips or drinks), but a real deal considering: CHF 35 ($38) for a club sandwich (side of veggies costs more).

Join the pricing party! Leave a comment about your best sticker-shocking moment in Switzerland. And long live border shopping.

Home Makeover, the Expat Edition!

Oh, what the Frau would do for a home makeover. As M gets bigger and bigger, her little Swiss apartment gets smaller and smaller. Well, there's a new show coming to North America--and it's going to feature expats living abroad who need their apartments or houses fixed up. Sadly, the Frau does not quality for the new home makeover show since she has been in Switzerland way past her expiration date. So she has been asked to recruit interested expats for a new home makeover show that will feature Americans and Canadians living abroad.

See if you qualify:

1. Are you American or Canadian?
2. Have you moved abroad in the last six months or plan on moving abroad soon?
3. Do you need help decorating? Are you trying to preserve the decor of your homeland or trying to incorporate a little local flair? Or do you just need help fitting your big American furniture in a tiny Euro flat?

Important note: The show is open to renters as well as homeowners.

If you’re interested in being on the show or want more information, please contact the Frau. Danke.

Study Fiction or Travel Writing in Zurich

The Frau always gets a bit excited about writing workshops, especially when they’re in Zurich and she’s in charge of organizing them.

Anyone want to second my enthusiasm? Because for the third time in two years, there will actually be something in Zurich other than bankers, lawyers, and ladies who lunch. (All kidding aside, Zurich is a beautiful city and worth seeing--here's a Zurich travel article written by yours truly that proves it.)

Anyhow, this spring, the Zurich Writers Workshop will feature two British authors: award-winning novelist Sam North (The Old Country) and Switzerland’s bestselling English-language author, Diccon Bewes (Swiss Watching). The workshop will take place May 18-20, 2012.

The workshop will be divided into two sections, fiction and travel writing/non-fiction. Participants will receive nine hours of instruction in their chosen area, an author reading and apéro at Zurich’s English-language bookstore, Orell Füssli The Bookshop, as well as the option to participate in a literary dinner at Europe’s oldest vegetarian restaurant, Hiltl.

Registration opened today. Space is limited to 15 participants in each section and is filled on a first-come, first-served basis. You can register at www.zurichwritersworkshop.com. Click here to sign up for the mailing list.

Hope to see you in Zurich this spring. And please spread the word!

The Price of Free, Part I

The airline industry has an interesting way of defining free: by charging you for it.

In fact, the airline industry complicates “free” so much, that it’s going to take a few One Big Yodel posts to cover just how complicated free can be.

Let’s start with fares for infants, since Ms. One Big Yodel now has one.

Supposedly, infants (defined by children under two) fly free. I decided to test this theory by booking a flight.

Here’s what “free” means, defined by two different airlines for the same round-trip flight:

ZURICH to CHICAGO on SWISS

Infant price:

-Fare CHF 44

-Fuel Surcharge CHF 328

-Airport taxes CHF 52

TOTAL “FREE” FARE: CHF 424 ($460)

ZURICH to CHICAGO on UNITED (same code-share flight as SWISS)

Infant price: $106.40 (includes one 5-minute dropped call, one 45-minute phone call with a non-native English speaker, and plenty of bad on-hold music to determine)

TOTAL “FREE” FARE: $106.40

Conclusion:

1) As we all knew, nothing is free in Switzerland

2) The USA is no longer the Land of the Free but is still much cheaper than Switzerland

3) The only thing free about the infant ticket was the headache it took to figure out the best price

Have you been amazed by the airline industry recently?

Baby Bureaucracy

The Frau has been writing a lot. But not on this blog. Because having a baby is a lot of work. Having a baby abroad is even more work–at least when it comes to paperwork.

There are Swiss and international birth certificates, foreigner cards, passport applications, reports of birth abroad and social security forms, plus photos required for several of these forms, not to mention in-person visits to the U.S. Consulate office in Zurich, the migration department in Aarau, and the city office in Baden. All with a baby who can't even hold her head up yet and a mother who wishes she could put hers down on a big, fat pillow.

Oh, and even more interesting—the price you pay for all this bureaucracy:

Swiss and international birth certificates: CHF 30 each, we ordered three and were also charged CHF 1 for shipping.

Swiss foreigner card for baby (side note: somehow, the Swiss are able to even make a two-month-old look criminal in the photo), valid for four months until it must be renewed again, along with the parents’ cards: CHF 143

Passport photos: Three for CHF 10 (ordered from paspic.com—I highly recommend this site for any passport photo)

U.S. passport/birth reports/social security card: CHF 184

TOTAL: CHF 428 (free headaches included)

Just say cheese

In the German-speaking part of Switzerland, it is traditional to watch "Dinner for One" on TV on New Year's Eve. Our Swiss neighbor does it every year. Don't ask me why a film in English is a German tradition, but it is. She even watches it in the original English.

Speaking of dinner, I've had cheese for dinner for the last two nights. Thursday night, we had fondue at our neighbor's and there was so much cheese in the pot that it broke. Then, last night, we had raclette. Six people ate 28 pieces of the stuff. The result? According to Mr. One Big Yodel, "I have such a big ball of cheese in my stomach that it is radiating heat like the sun."

What a way to celebrate the season in Switzerland.

Alles Gute zum neuen Jahr from One Big Yodel. Prost.

Five cheap things to do in Switzerland this season

This is Ms. One Big Yodel's first Christmas in Switzerland. Instead of going home to visit family, her family is coming to her. Unfortunately for many visitors to Switzerland these days, it has become even more expensive than it was in the past. But here are a few things you can enjoy in Switzerland for (gasp!) cheap.

1. Eat marroni. Nothing says Christmas in Switzerland quite like a hot nut, or more specifically, a roasted chestnut. They are typically sold by street vendors in most Swiss villages.

2. Walk in the winter wonderland. Almost everywhere in the country, it's a great time of year to enjoy the weather, nordic walking style. In Baden, for example, there is a candle-lit evening hike up at Baldegg on December 27 that includes a plate of pasta after the 5k hike.

3. Ice skate. Many Swiss villages have an ice skating rink. For as little as CHF 5, you can have an afternoon of entertainment.

4. Make your own glass ornament. At Hergiswil Glassworks near Lucerne, visitors can make their own glass ornament after their CHF 5 tour of the factory (but be sure to check dates, it is closed part of the month). Or if glassmaking's not your thing, myswitzerland.com has put together a list of places, including various cheese dairies, which offer free admission.

5. Do nothing. Enjoy the holiday in traditional European fashion by doing nothing but relaxing. Most offices are businesses are closed the week after Christmas, a tradition worth starting in the rest of the world too.

What do you like to do to celebrate the season?

10 Things Expats Love to do on Facebook

Ok, expats. It's time to sum up our online habits. Below are 10 things expats love to do on Facebook:

1. Brag about the trip they’ve just gone on.

2. Brag about the trip they are going on tomorrow.

3. Write their status in another language.

4. Make fun of bad English.

5. Insert foreign words into English sentences.

6. Post travel list challenges.

7. Exclaim how jet lagged they are.

8. Exclaim about how cheap everything is in the U.S.

9. Post photos of exotic locations, view from office or apartment included.

10. Use airport abbreviations in their status updates, the more obscure the better.

Are you guilty of any of these? And is there anything I've forgotten?

Shop online like it's 1989!

A few weeks ago, I wrote about five Swiss websites that could use a makeover. But this Swiss online experience perhaps tops it all:

My husband went to a photo workshop in Baden over the weekend and received a coupon for 15% off his online order at ProFot.

So naturally he wanted to shop since he needs very little incentive to buy photo gear.

He filled his virtual shopping cart and went to check out and realized something strange: there was no redemption code on the coupon.

Upon further investigation (i.e. contacting the company), he learned that to redeem the coupon, he had to either scan it and email it to them or get this...snail mail it to the headquarters in Baar.

Yes. Thanks to you, ProFot, people in Switzerland really can shop online like it's 1989.

Have you had any strange shopping experiences in Switzerland?

Five Great Books About Life Abroad

There are a lot of books about life abroad out there.

But many of them romanticize the experience rather than tell the real truth: life abroad is hard. Contrary to popular belief, the world is not just a place for Westerners to eat, pray, or fix up a holiday home. It can also be a place where a person with a Master’s degree doesn’t even know the word for beef.

Below are five books that paint a more accurate portrait of life abroad when you’re really, really living it for the long haul. If you're looking for a Christmas gift, I recommend any of these. And if you order them by clicking on the links included in this blog, you’ll help support One Big Yodel as well.

Me Talk Pretty One Day

By David Sedaris

Ruthless French teachers. Fears of speaking a new language so strong you wish meat were sold in vending machines. Trying to explain a holiday such as Easter in another language (Jesus shaves, anyone?). In these stories and more, Sedaris pretty much sums up the difficulties (and surprising rewards) that come from trying to make a life in another country. C'est bon.

Undress Me in the Temple of Heaven

By Susan Jane Gilman

A recent college graduate, Susan Jane Gilman was ready to conquer the world. She had romantic visions of backpacking abroad. But then she went to China, which in the 80s, had been open to tourists for about ten minutes. Between ant infested hotel rooms, broken down vehicles, and Chinese men that don’t know a word of English but can recite John Denver songs by heart, Gilman proves that “real travel” doesn’t get much more real than this.

Tales from the Expat Harem

Edited by Anastasia M. Ashman and Jennifer Eaton Goekmen

Before I traveled to Turkey last year, I read this collection of 32 essays about women who live there. One of my favorite essays was about a Christian evangelist from Iowa who was rescued by the very Turkish souls she hoped to save. Gotta love the theme: An American goes out to save the world and the world saves her instead.

Moonlight in Odessa

By Janet Skeslien Charles

What happens when a woman from the Ukraine becomes so tempted by the American dream that she becomes a mail order bride in order to attain it? This novel, written by an American expat living in Paris, has the answers. See the United States through the eyes of a Ukrainian as the main character, Daria, goes from being wide-eyed over things like garage door openers to finally becoming skeptical of the very materialism she dreamed of obtaining.

Kabul Beauty School

By Deborah Rodriguez

This is the true story of an American woman who goes to Afghanistan to teach women how to open their own beauty parlors. But teaching becomes interwoven with living as her students share their stories with her. From the woman who faked her virginity on her wedding night to the 12-year-old bride who was sold to repay family debts, this is an interesting look into the lives of Afghan women and also the affect they have on the American woman who came to empower them.

What are your favorite books about life or travel abroad?

Geneva Ranks Last in European Shopping Survey

Manor, a large Swiss department store, is advertising their new “late night” shopping hours on a gigantic poster: the store is now open until 8 p.m. on weeknights. While this is a big deal for Switzerland, it’s still not enough to put a Swiss city on anyone’s list for a shopping tour. Especially considering the prices. (Yesterday my husband paid $10 for a bottle of barbecue sauce. Sigh.)

In a recent survey, “Globe Shopper City Index” by the Economist Intelligence Unit, of the 33 European cities studied for shopping, the one Swiss city in the survey—Geneva—came in last. I can’t say I’m surprised. Geneva is a city where you can’t even find a restaurant that’s open on a Saturday night, let alone a store.

Anyhow, top cities for shopping in this survey were: London, Barcelona, Madrid, and Paris. Some of the things considered in the survey were number of shops, opening hours, and affordability.

What are your favorite European cities for shopping?

10 things you notice about Switzerland when you have a baby

One: Most building entrances have stairs and no ramps

Two: It is possible for the concept of shared laundry in the basement to get even worse

Three: It’s really uncool to take a stroller accessible spot on a bus when you don’t have a stroller

Four: There are a lot more hills in your town than you thought and somehow they got steeper

Five: Even when they are 35% off at Migros, it’s still cheaper to buy your Pampers in Germany

Six: The Swiss authorities are more concerned with that misspelling on your birth certificate 30+ years later than the City of Chicago ever was

Seven: Quiet hours need not apply

Eight: Even when the grocery store is across the street, online grocery shopping takes on a whole new appeal

Nine: You neighbor no longer lectures you about how you do laundry; instead she brings it up to your door when you forget to take it out of the dryer

Ten: When the maintenance guy wants to come at 7 am, you no longer think that is too early

Grocery Shopping Online with leshop.ch

Now that I'm a mother abroad, I do things I never did before: like order groceries online even though I live right across the street from a grocery store.

Not only is it a little harder to get out these days, but I also had a coupon for a CHF 30 discount if I ordered at least CHF 100 worth of stuff from leshop.ch. To me, this coupon, along with Baby M, justified what could otherwise be viewed as complete and utter laziness. Also, as anyone that lives in Switzerland knows, it's not too hard to spend CHF 100 on groceries when maple syrup alone is CHF 7 and a six pack of Dr. Pepper is CHF 8.

Wait...Dr. Pepper?!!

Yes. Leshop.ch, which is Migros' online supermarket, has more selection than the actual store. For instance, you can buy wine, beer, and British food like American Doritos. Yes. I will forgive leshop.ch for categorizing Cool American Doritos, Cheerios, and Oreos as British food for the mere reason that they HAVE THESE PRODUCTS and I can order them. This is a major breakthrough for Switzerland and worth the CHF 15,90 delivery charge alone.

Also, they delivered the very next day, exactly when they said they would, between 5-8 pm, which was plenty of time for me to actually get dressed and look somewhat presentable, unlike the man from Die Post, who had the nerve to ring the bell at noon today when I was still in my circa 2001 plaid green pajama bottoms and bright blue and yellow Tweety slipper socks.

Anyway. Baby or not, I highly recommend shopping at leshop.ch. Not only will you avoid having any Migros moments, but the website is even in English.

Anyone else have experience grocery shopping online in Switzerland?

Dear Frau: Do you miss the U.S. and your family?

Welcome to another edition of Dear Frau. It's kind of like Dear Abby, except with an international twist. If you have a question about moving to Switzerland or life abroad, don't hesitate to contact The Frau. For previous Dear Frau posts, click here.

Dear Frau,

I came upon your blog as I was researching life in Switzerland. I wanted to know if you miss living in the U.S. and if you have intentions of moving back? Selfishly, as a mother with an only child who might end up living in Europe, do you miss your mom and family? I hope my child does not decide to stay over in Europe. I did travel there for work but would not want to live there as I have a large family here.

Thanks for your answer.

Sincerely,

American Mom

Dear American Mom,

Originally the Frau came to Switzerland for three years with the full intention of moving back to the U.S. in 2009. It’s now 2011 and she’s still in Switzerland. There are many reasons for this, including that she and her husband have good jobs here, they enjoy the outdoorsy lifestyle, and until the baby came along, the travel opportunities.

Does she miss the U.S.? Well, she misses her family, the friendly people, the affordable food, and owning a house. But she doesn't miss her car, the crazy work hours, or the endless strip malls.

Are her parents disappointed she’s still here? Yes, of course. Especially considering there’s a grandchild in the mix now too. Does the grandchild change things? Perhaps. Time will tell. After all, Skype video calls only bridge the distance so much. And of course she misses her family. That’s hands-down the hardest part about living abroad. But consider this:

The Frau sees her family more now than she ever did when she was living in Virginia and they were in Illinois. When she was in Virginia, she had two weeks of vacation time a year. Her parents would come visit for a four-day weekend and she would come home for Christmas for a few days, but that was about it. She often worked weekends and basically had no life except for her job. Now she has five weeks of vacation and is living in a culture that accepts that a new mother might want to take six months of maternity leave instead of the standard three. In addition to her husband's six weeks of vacation time, her husband’s boss didn’t blink twice when he asked for an additional three weeks of unpaid paternity leave so he could be there for his new daughter and also have a week off when his mother visits.

In the last year, The Frau has seen her family more than ever. She was home at Christmas for two weeks. Her family was here in June for two weeks. Her father was here in September for a week, and her parents are coming back in December for two and a half weeks.

This is not to say that getting together does not require time, effort, and money for expensive long-haul flight tickets. And of course it’s not ideal to spend so much time together in big blocks with so much space in between visits. But unless the Frau and her parents lived in the same town in the U.S., she doesn’t know how the situation would be much different, except perhaps mentally knowing they were all living in the same country.

The Frau hopes this helps. Anyone else want to chime in on the topic of being far from family and how they cope?

The Ultimate Hausfrau

I never planned to have a baby abroad, but then again I never planned to live abroad longer than three years. And life does go on—even when you feel more like you’re living in limbo than anywhere else.

One week ago, I had a baby. A beautiful little girl that I’ll call M for this blog’s purposes, for Maedchen, the German word for girl. The birth of M officially marks me as both a mother, and now, as I stay home for the next six months on maternity leave, I will become someone else: a true Swiss Hausfrau. I’ll try to document the ups and downs on this blog without turning it into a baby-centric Internet address that scares off non-mothers and men.

So far, I feel more like a walking zombie than a Swiss Hausfrau but maybe they are one in the same. I spent five days in the hospital and now I am lucky to have found an English-speaking German midwife who visits me once a day for about an hour to check how things are going—or to make sure I’m still sane, I’m not sure which. Swiss insurance pays for a midwife to visit you at home for up to 10 days after the birth of your baby.

The midwife and I discuss enlightening topics like swollen feet, breast pumps, and strange Swiss homeopathic treatments, which I’ll go into more detail in another post.

My husband has taken two weeks of unpaid leave (fathers in Switzerland are typically given only one paid day of paternity leave—mothers get 90 days) to help out and bond with his daughter. My neighbor joked that he is now a Hausmann, but then said he had always kind of been one anyway (she was always amazed that he ironed his own shirts, cooked, and did laundry). So this Hausfrau has a lot of help for now. And she is sehr Dankbar for that.

Five Swiss Websites That Could Use a Makeover

There is something that even after living in Switzerland for five years I cannot understand: Why Swiss companies can't design a decent website. I realize that like most things in Switzerland, 20 years behind the times is about standard. And nothing proves this point more than these websites. Yes. Instead of designing for the Internet, these companies seem to think it works to design for direct mail and use the direct mail ad as the website.

There are two things wrong with this approach:

1. Direct mail is bad enough in paper format.

2. Direct mail on the web is even worse.

Most of these websites also seem to forget that online commerce is something that is possible in the 21st century. Heaven forbid I would want to see an overview of what a store sells and actually order something with my credit card.

Anyhow, here is a good representation of the quality of a .ch. Have fun.

Jysk Furniture

Fust Electronics

Jumbo Hardware Store

Media Markt Electronics

Denner Discounter

Are you often frustrated by Swiss websites? Know of any other bad ones I'd enjoy?

Dear Frau: Explain these strange Swiss laws!

Welcome to another edition of Dear Frau. It's kind of like Dear Abby, except with an international twist. If you have a question about life in Switzerland or moving to Switzerland, don't hesitate to contact The Frau.

Dear Frau,

I hear there are quite a few quirky laws in Switzerland. For fear of being arrested, can you please let this soon-to-be American expat in on some of these strange laws? Is it true you can't flush the toilet after 10pm? And why?

Thanks,

Confused in Connecticut

Dear Confused in Connecticut,

There are a lot of things that are a bit strange about living in Switzerland. The Frau does not pretend to know all of them, but here are three strange Swissisms she either has some personal experience with or knows someone who did:

Quiet Time

Flushing the toilet after 10 p.m. Forget Heidi, this is the real Swiss classic. The Frau does not believe this is an official Swiss law, but rather a clause that may be in your apartment rental contract. Many apartment buildings have strict quiet hours and these may include specific things a non-Swiss person may not typically associate with loud noise. Such as: not being allowed to flush a toilet after 10pm, not being allowed to do laundry on Sunday (or during the lunch hour—some buildings actually shut off electricity to the machines at this time...), or not being allowed to do gardening on Sunday.

Also on the quiet hour front: you can’t typically recycle glass bottles on weeknights or on Sundays without being yelled at for disturbing the peace. Never mind that yelling also disturbs the peace or the all night parties that go on right outside your window during Carnival or Badenfahrt…

Trash Talk

Make sure you get a copy of your city’s garbage calendar and try to understand it (for help, read this). If you put your garbage out too early (or in the wrong bag, oh my!) you may be subject to a fine. A friend of the Frau was once called to the police station where she actually had to identify her trash. She was then charged CHF 250 because she had set it out too early the night before.

Recycling paper (see photo) is another strange Swiss ritual. You let the paper pile up for at least six weeks at your apartment and then ceremoniously tie it up with strings in neat packages no higher than about six inches before putting it outside. Don’t slack and just think it would be easier to stick all that paper in a paper box or bag and put outside. It would be easier, but this does not matter. If you don’t do it correctly, your paper will not be picked up and it will be plastered with a sticker stating your error. If you’re like The Frau, you’ll then be tempted to just throw it in your regular trash rather than wait another six weeks to redeem yourself.

Transport Pitfalls

Speeding

Driving a car is expensive in Switzerland. If you go more than 5 kilometers over a speed limit, you’ll receive a CHF 40 fine in the mail for each offence. If you travel way, way over the speed limit, you will be charged a fine that’s a percentage of your salary.

Not paying the night ticket supplement

Typically beginning at 1 am, depending on the public transport network, you must buy a CHF 5 nighttime supplement in addition to your regular train ticket. If you don’t buy this and they check tickets, you will be fined as if you didn’t have a ticket at all.

Ok, the Frau has run out of energy. Anyone else have experience with some of these things or want to let Confused in Connecticut in on some additional Swiss laws or customs that are not fun to discover after the fact?

Women's Rights in Switzerland Challenged Once Again

In the spring of 2010, I wrote an article for Swiss News about the Zurich Women’s Guild and how they’ve been fighting for over 20 years for the right to march alongside the men’s guilds in the Sechseläuten parade, which is held every April. Sechseläuten is a public holiday in Zurich, and the parade is partly supported by public funds.

This spring, for the first time ever, the men’s guilds allowed the women to march in the parade, but it was a one-time invitation and it was not guaranteed that it would be an ongoing trend.

Earlier this week, I read that the men’s guilds have decided the women will no longer be welcome in the parade.

Why? Sometimes I don’t understand Switzerland at all…even when I try to by going in-depth and interviewing the people behind these stories.

I respect traditions—even 1000-year old ones—but like everything else, I feel they should evolve with the times. The other Zurich tradition, Knabenschiessen, has allowed girls to participate for over 20 years now.

And to be fair, girls are also allowed to march in the Sechseläuten parade with their fathers. But then, once they get older, they are no longer welcome.

What does this say about Swiss society?

Girls have more rights than women?

I guess the real message is this: if you’re a girl in Switzerland, try not to grow up. There’s a reason Heidi is a Swiss icon and not a grown woman. Because clearly, there are still some areas where equality for women is lacking in Switzerland.

What do you think about the men's decision to exclude the women from the parade?

Only in Switzerland, Part III

I was in the grocery store this week. The woman in front of me bought a bottle of grape juice. She paid for it with a CHF 1,000 bill ($1,136).

The high quality of life in Zurich

You hear all the time that Zurich has one of the highest quality of life ratings in the world.

But what does this mean?

I figured this out a couple weeks ago.

It was one of those boiling hot days when sitting in the office was almost unbearable. So about 11:45, I went to Seebad Utoquai and spent an entire hour swimming in Lake Zurich. While there, I ran into five other work colleagues.

"Do you come here often?" I asked, as I joined them on the deck for a few minutes after my swim.

"Every day," they replied.

Now that's what I call a great quality of life.

Big sale in Switzerland!

Hurry, yodelers. You don't get blockbuster deals like this very often in Switzerland: a savings of 11%? Now that warrants a huge ad.

And try not to faint, but there's a double bonus here, although they've hidden it by using white font on a yellow background. So I'll just tell you so you don't have to squint: The furniture store will even be open on SUNDAY.

Wow. A sale and a Sunday. I hardly know what to do with myself. Besides go shopping, that is.

Dear Frau: How does Swiss Health Insurance Work?

Welcome to another edition of Dear Frau. It's kind of like Dear Abby, except with an international twist. If you've got a question about expat life in Switzerland or moving to Switzerland, don't hesitate to contact the Frau and maybe your little Frage will be in the next edition of Dear Frau.

Dear Frau,

I am relocating to Fribourg with my husband from September through July, 2012. He received a Fulbright grant to study at the University of Fribourg, and I get to tag along. We're currently trying to navigate the private insurance world; he'll be covered by the university but I have to buy my insurance. Do you have any pointers on how Swiss health insurance works for expats and what companies to contact?

Sincerely,

Yet to be insured expat in Switzerland

Dear yet to be insured expat in Switzerland,

Swiss health insurance works no differently for expats than it does for Swiss people. Everyone in Switzerland is required to have health insurance—if you can’t prove to your city hall that you have it, they will personally sign you up. Health insurance is not paid for by employers, like it is in the United States. This is both good and bad. Good because no matter your employment status, you have insurance. Bad because it can be expensive. But the best part about Swiss insurance is that you CANNOT be denied basic health insurance for any reason.

The Frau is of the opinion that the basic, compulsory Swiss health insurance is satisfactory for most people and that there is no point to pay more than necessary to have benefits like private rooms at a hospital, since opportunities to upgrade can be paid for separately if desired.

All Swiss health insurers offer basic insurance. All you need to do is compare the price, because as far as the Frau knows, the benefits will be basically the same. (Basic insurance does not include dental or eye care).

Before the Frau signed up for insurance, she got quotes from a couple insurers and compared insurance rates on comparis.ch.

Basically, she ended up choosing Helsana, because their website was in English and they had one of the lower prices, but then Helsana somehow signed her up with SanSan, a division of Helsana that does not have a website in English. The Frau is not sure how this happened but then again she’s not sure how a lot of things happen in the country, and she’s been here over five years.

Nevertheless, despite missing her fantastic international insurance through CIGNA, which also covered dental and eye care with no deductibles, so far the Swiss insurance through SanSan has been satisfactory and for medications/vitamins not covered by it, the Frau hops over the border and buys in Germany where they are 75% less expensive. (Before you move, buy basic medicines, for example, Centrum Vitamins in the US are about $6.95 but in Switzerland the same bottle is $50).

With the basic insurance you have several options; the Frau chose the option that allowed her to go to any doctor, since even though she lives in Canton Aargau she already had several doctors she went to in Zurich at the time she had to switch from international to Swiss insurance. This option for free choice of doctors costs about CHF 20 more a month on her plan. The Frau pays about CHF 162 ($222) a month for basic Swiss insurance with this option with a CHF 2500 ($3440) deductible, which is the highest deductible. With lower deductibles, the monthly fees are higher.

As far as the Frau can tell, someone on basic Swiss insurance will end up spending about CHF 5000 ($6881) a year to be insured before the insurance company starts paying your medical bills. (This CHF 5000 includes the monthly fees, the deductible, and the extra CHF 700 they don’t tell you about that you must also pay before the insurance pays additional costs). There are some exceptions, i.e. pregnant women are exempt from paying deductible costs for most doctor visits and normal procedures related to pregnancy.

For more information, the Frau recommends reading the following:

Health insurance for people new to Switzerland

Benefits and FAQ about Swiss health insurance (download the PDFs, they are very helpful).

Anyone else want to chime in about their experience with Swiss insurance or what insurers they’ve liked/hated?

The Swiss Second-hand Scene

As you know based on my last post, I tend to frequent Swiss second-hand markets. I’m a regular at the Baden flea market, which is the last Saturday of every month, and I never pass by an opportunity to step into a Brockenhaus, or a second-hand store. I also occasionally visit Switzerland’s online second-hand store, in other words, the Ebay of Switzerland, which is, in the Swiss style of being very independent, not Ebay.ch, but ricardo.ch.

All of these second-hand Swiss entities have a few things in common: the prices of things are high and most sellers don’t want to bargain.

Both of these traits run counter to the idea of selling second-hand stuff, but then again this is Switzerland, and that fact alone somehow exempts the country the rest of the world’s way of thinking (not that this is always a bad thing, especially in these crazy economic times).

For example, my husband and I are in the market for a baby stroller. Most used strollers in Switzerland seem to be priced around CHF 350-500 ($464-$664) for something three years old. Alas, we watched one particular ricardo.ch seller try to sell their stroller for three weeks straight for CHF 350. Each week, when it didn’t sell, they just relisted it AT THE SAME PRICE. Like I said, rules of economics need not apply to Switzerland.

We finally emailed them after it didn’t sell for a fourth week and asked if we could come by over the weekend, have a look at the stroller, and then possibly buy it if we liked it. We were prepared to offer CHF 300 if we liked it, which seemed fair, considering they weren’t selling it at CHF 350.

The response: yes, you can come by and see it, but we’re not taking it off ricardo.ch. My response? Forget it. I’m not going to spend half a day renting a car to come see your stroller if I can’t buy it and take it home with me right then and there.

Anyhow, further research reveals that thanks to exchange rates and normal prices that do exist outside of this little exception of a country, we can buy the same stroller, new, from Germany for only CHF 100 more than the used, three-year-old Swiss ones are going for.

So goodbye, Swiss second-hand market. Hallo, Deutschland.

Swiss flea market bargains

In honor of the upcoming August 1^st Swiss Independence Day holiday, I found the perfect thing at the Baden flea market: a chair made especially to commemorate the 700^th anniversary of Switzerland back in 1991.

Of course, I knew none of this chair history when I bought it, I just liked the chair, knew it would match the colors in our front entranceway, and, most importantly, it was being sold close enough to carry home.

That night, I googled the chair, and the impossible happened: I found out I actually got a good deal in Switzerland. I paid CHF 50 for the chair (the owner wouldn’t bargain, typical of people at Swiss flea markets—another subject all together…), but I found it being sold online for over CHF 250.

Now that’s what I call a Preishit.

Why the Swiss love the USA

In honor of 4th of July last week, the Swiss newspaper Blick am Abend featured six reasons why they love the U.S.:

1. Free thinking. Do whatever you want. There's more room for creativity in the U.S.

I agree that the U.S. feels much more open creatively than Switzerland. It's been said that the Swiss are both prisoners and their guards. There is some truth to this.

2. American hot dog.

Can't say I'm very excited about the American hot dog. Give me a slice of deep dish pizza instead.

3. Doggy Bag.

Yes, love the doggy bag concept, although in Switzerland I don't usually have any food on my plate to take home since the portions are much more reasonable (in size, not price). But when I do have leftovers, I would appreciate a doggy bag, especially considering that next plate of Chinese food will set me back at least CHF 25.

4. Dream factory. Home of the stars and anyone who wants to be one.

I think what the Swiss are forgetting here is the concept of competition. It's easy to stand out in Switzerland without being that talented because there aren't that many people to compete against. The U.S. population is 311 million people versus 7 million in Switzerland. So yes, if you make it big in the U.S., you probably make it big worldwide. But the chances of that are like playing the lotto.

5. Music business. The music divas of the U.S. are found on Swiss TV and radio stations like none other in the world.

This actually disappoints me. I wish other countries would play their own music.

6. Smile please. We wish our service was as friendly and happy.

Amen. Would someone in this country please smile and learn that customer service does not involve toll numbers?

What do you think? Do you agree these are reasons to love America?

Swiss C Permit Reject

My husband just returned from Alphorn School. We just had a three hour dinner and German conversation with my Swiss neighbor. And we submitted everything ((including salary statements for three years and forms that stated we did not owe anyone any money (that ironically we had to pay for to receive) the Swiss government requested.))

None of this matters. I’m still a B.

After waiting five years to apply for the C permit, my husband and I were rejected because we went on vacation and therefore missed the short deadline they gave us to complete the paperwork.

Yep. Wait five years and they give you seven days. Nice.

The annoying thing is, the Swiss government knew were gone. Because we had to run around to Aarau at wee hours of the morning and pay CHF 180 for the Visa for the honor of leaving the country at that lovely time when your permit expires but they can’t seem to process another one fast enough in order to avoid you paying them more money for their tardiness.

We came back from our vacation only to collect our mail and realize they had given us only seven days to complete the paperwork—even though they knew we were gone.

The reject letter that came a week later basically said, “better luck next year. You can pick up your B-permits for CHF 220 and you have only 10 days to do so.”

Thanks, Switzerland. We love you too.